Loyalties & Ties

Merlin could feel his head spinning – it was too much, and he had no idea what to do. He had told Morgana he'd talk to Gaius, but he was almost sure that the old man was going to be angry at him for having something to do with the story. The great dragon had advised him against helping the boy, but Merlin just couldn't face that idea. It was just a child, scared and sick, almost dead, if he did nothing, his death would forever be on his conscience as much as if it had been his own hand that had killed him.

In the back of his head – not quite forgotten but also a mindful thought, was the voice of the old druid seer telling him to follow his heart first and foremost.

Gaius was complaining about the security around the castle, but Merlin could hardly listen and as soon as it became clear that the physician had stopped talking, he told him the truth.

"Morgana's hiding the Druid boy in her chambers"

For a second he thought Gaius' eyebrow would effectively mingle with his hair in disapproval, and his voice was cool when he spoke.

"When you say that Morgana's hiding the Druid boy, I take that it means that you're helping her"

It was both a statement and a question.

"Sort of."

There was both anger, disappointment and resignation as he went on.

"Merlin, you promised me that you wouldn't get involved."

"I know. I'm sorry," he said, and he truly was. He never wanted to be a nuisance for Gaius. "I had no choice."

That seemed to ignite Gaius' wrath.

"Every guard in Camelot is searching for this boy and you are harboring him under their very noses! Can't you see how dangerous that is? What were you thinking of?"

He had never seen his tutor so angry, and it made him feel indignant.

"Was I supposed to hand him over to the guards to be executed?"

That didn't mollify the old man in the slightest.

"You think you can save this boy? What happens if you're caught? Who's going to save you?"

A part of him knew that it was love that made Gaius be so harsh, that he was worried about his safety, but it wasn't enough. Merlin was in no more danger than in most of the times he saved Arthur under his very nose! It felt clear to him that the physician was so deeply worried about Merlin's own safety that he was willing to let children die if it meant he wouldn't get caught – he had even ignored Morgana's dreams, and she was about as safe as a person could be from persecution. Sometimes, instead of a safe heaven, Gaius's intense care towards Merlin felt more like a prison.

"You're saying it's wrong to harbor a young magician?" he asked point blank, too incensed to care if he was being rude. The tone and the words did get to Gaius, and his voice was softer when he spoke again.

"The difference is, Merlin, that your magic is still secret – thought it's a wonder how considering how careless you are."

Merlin could only imagine what would be Gaius' reaction when he found out that Morgana knew about his powers.

"The boy's hurt", he pleaded. "He's really sick. I've tried to treat him. We need your help."

"So now you want me to risk my neck too?" The man shook his head, tiredly. "I wish the boy no harm, but it's too dangerous."

"But if you don't, we may as well hand him over to the guards because he'll die anyway!" Merlin just didn't want to believe Gaius wouldn't help. He knew the man was compassionate, and he needed to appeal for the best in his nature. "You didn't turn your back on me. Please don't turn your back on him."

He knew he was aiming low, but there was more than a life depending on his success – Gaius' own self and their relationship might break beyond repair if the old man chose Uther above his kind.

He never felt as much relief as when the physician finally sighed and agreed.