Truth & Lies (You Can't Tell Them Apart)

Gwen was very quiet as she helped Morgana to get ready for dinner – her maid hadn't said a single word since she explained what she was about to do, but Morgana was too distracted to notice it.

"Thank you" she said, softly, and she meant it – not only about the hair and the clothes, but for everything she had done in the past few days to help when Morgana had risked her so much.

When she turned around, she saw that Gwen looked troubled.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Gwen bit her lower lip for a moment, as she often did when she was unsure on how to voice her thoughts, and then she spoke, her words rushed as if she could no longer control herself.

"You're risking so much for this boy. You don't know anything about him – you don't even know his name."

Even Morgana herself didn't completely understand how the boy had grown so much inside her heart, as if they were – as if they had always been and would always be – family.

"There's a bond between us" she said, simply.

"Stronger than the bond you have with Uther?"

Gwen seemed honestly not to believe it possible, and Morgana's hands immediately ran to her neck, where Uther's hand had held her a few hours earlier.

"The King forsook anything we might have had" Morgana said, knowing it to be true – it would never be the same, not when she now knew that he might strike her at any moment, that he might even kill her with his own hands. "And this… It's like nothing I've ever felt before. Perhaps I was always meant to help him."

"How can that be?" Gwen resisted to such explanations, she was a rational person and was never the kind of girl who believed in women's intuition or dreams.

"I don't know, I can't explain it".

There was nothing logical about how protective she was of the boy, Morgana knew it. Still, Uther would expect explanations, and it was good that she thought about them before she met him – they had to be convincing. Gwen merely sighed and shook her head.

"I must go to Uther."

Morgana turned towards the door and was almost out when her maid finally spoke up.

"Good luck."

As she walked towards the Council Chamber, where the king usually had his evening meal, she couldn't help but thinking that her whole life was now a lie balancing themselves on half-truths. She walked to ask for forgiveness that she did not seek in order to gain it from the person she really believed to have failed.

Morgana was inside a maze that she could not get out – in order to follow her heart, she had to deny who she was, and it would never end. She figured it was probably much of the same of what Merlin felt, both pretending in order to survive Uther's reign, dreaming of a better future under the rule of a man she wasn't sure that would be brave enough to leave the long shadow cast by his father.

She didn't need to feign the tears that ran through her cheeks when she walked inside, they were completely honest and a reflex of how trapped she felt. The king merely raise his head towards her, inquiring with his look.

"I have come to apologize, My Lord" she said, easily, having practiced it all before. "You have been generous and kind and fair. I owe you everything. I truly… I don't know what came over me. I acted without thinking of the consequences, the whole thing – I thought only of the boy. I…" she raised her eyes, and Uther's eyes seemed to be scanning through her soul, looking for the truth and she knew that, right now, there was no need to lie. "He's so young, My Lord. Almost young enough to be my own – hurt and scared, and I couldn't… It was stronger than me, an instinct. I cared for him like a mother hen, and I did not see the harm it could bring to Camelot. I am so sorry."

She gasped, for it was easier to lie than to reveal herself like that, but the King seemed to understand it too well.

"You are only a woman, sometimes I forget" said Uther, nodding. "There are things that you cannot help yourself with – maybe it's time for you to marry, if you are so eager to care for others, for children."

Morgana gasped, once again, shocked at the suggestion.

"My Lord!" she said, surprised. "I… It was a moment's weakness. I have no wish to leave your house."

"One way or the other, I'm glad you've seen sense" He said, seriously. "Dine with me. Let's put this… unfortunate incident behind us. Everything else can wait."

Morgana took her seat at the opposite end of the table, and soon Uther's manservant was pouring her wine and another servant brought her a plate. The King spoke of inconsequential things, not returning to the subject of the boy or of marriage.

They were almost done when the warning bells rang, and Morgana had to fight to stay calm as she wondered if the boys had been caught or not. A few minutes later, one of the guards stepped inside.

"My Lord. I regret to report that the Druid boy has escaped from the dungeon."

Morgana felt the relief wash over her as she heard it, and she barely heard Uther's outraged response or the guard's explanation.

"Find him and his accomplices and kill them."

"Yes, My Lord."

Morgana hoped that both Arthur and Merlin had managed to get away from the scene before they found out how the boy had escaped. Uther was standing, already by her side, and she turned to face him, schooling her expression not to reveal anything.

"If I discover that you were somehow involved in freeing this boy, the consequences will be extremely severe" he warned, and she felt a chill going through her body.

"My Lord! I have told you that I'm sorry – I would never lie to you like that."

And it was partially true, for there had been many things she meant mixed with her lies.

"I made a promise to your father that I would protect you, but if you cross me again, I will break that promise without a second thought."

Uther walked out and Morgana let out a sigh of relief, no longer having to hide her despise for the man that she was supposed to honor and follow as a liege.