Heya!
Didn't expect the next chapter to this story to be up up this early?
Nawww me nether!
well ... It would have been up at around 2am-ish, if this website hadn't decided not to load it! (damn yyoouu!)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter ... it was hard to write!

As I sat there, anxiously staring at the sky, trying to make up the conversation I was about to have in my head. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think how to say it nicely. Well... some of it was nice to hear. It was more than nice. It was the truth, and the truth is the nicest thing you can hear sometimes, yet others it's the hardest thing to come to terms with. In a matter of minutes I was going to make someone else feel an array of emotions, and some of it was just to make myself feel better. But would she accept me?

'Wow Kendall, you're so self centred.' my inner conscience spoke to me, taking over my brain and practically screaming all of the other thoughts which were running through my mind, taking me to one of the unhappiest places I've ever been. Even though it was warm, sunny, and humid, a cold chill seemed to run throughout the Palm Woods, sending a cold chill down my spine. 'Must be the air conditioning...' I thought, trying to think positively. 'It's me, stupid.' my inner conscience spoke once more, shaking the optimism out of me, filling my mind with even more pessimistic thoughts of failure, lies, and deceit.

As I sat in my chair, becoming more and more anxious of the bump in the road I like to call life, which was right ahead of me, I continued to look at my phone, checking the time. Every time I looked, it was the same time, yet occasionally the time would flicker ahead, changing one of the digits to the next one, or taking it back to the start after the number nine and changing it to a zero. Even though I understood the concept of time fully, minutes didn't feel like 60 seconds. They felt longer. A lot longer. They felt like hours.

I felt like I had been waiting forever, and the weight which had been on my shoulders for years was growing increasingly heavier with every breath I took. I was pinned down into my chair, slowly sinking further and further into a hole of loneliness. Then a warm pain tapped my left shoulder and a figure passed me and sat on the chair placed opposite me. It was Jo. She smiled sweetly, 'What's wrong Kendall? What do you have to tell me?' she asked. I froze. What could I tell her? What could I tell her without her finding out my dark secret? Was this it? Was this the end of the line for my days of lying and covering up the awful truth which was my life?

'Jo,' I muttered, looking up into her beautiful brown eyes 'I really like you.' A smile appeared on her face. 'I really like you too, Kendall.' Of course, part of me had always known that she knew that I liked her, I've never been any good at hiding the truth but I needed to buy more time to figure out my plan of action.

As she spoke to me, the words didn't register in my head. I was more focused on the conversation we had previously had in my head. The one where she rejected me after I told her my secret and revealed my past. As the girl across the table was smiling and talking to an empty soul which was more focused on the pain which could possibly be ahead of me, literally. I sat in the chair, looking deep into her eyes, in a world of my own where she rejected me for the past. 'For God's sake Kendall,' my inner demon spoke out 'Why do you have to be su-' My thoughts were cut short by the girl opposite, demanding my full attention. 'Kendall!' she exclaimed, waving her arms in front of my face. I blinked and snapped back into reality, back into real life, where the past didn't matter, or at least not as much.

'Kendall.' Her concerned voice hit the cold, sharp air, breaking the silence, 'What's been up with you lately? You've seemed so distant over the past week. Please tell me.' Her words hit me like a truck. She wanted to know. No one has ever wanted to know. I knew inside that I needed to tell her, but part of me couldn't let go of the secret which I'd been dearly clinging onto for years. Even though it brought me so much pain and misery, I had found a comfort in that secret. It's something only I know, even thought it's hard to think about.

Practically living with James, Carlos and not forgetting Logan, for the majority of my life means that they've always been there for me, no matter what. They're my safety net, they catch me when I fall. And as they're always there, it's meant that there's no secrets. Everyone knows the next guy to the last detail, but I couldn't hurt them by letting them find out my truth.

I looked deeper into Jo's eyes, I couldn't help it, but the more I looked into them, the more I forgot about the conversation we were having. All I wanted to do was to look into them and forget about life. Even though I was lost in a trance, her worried look kept me in reality, and made me focus on what was important - telling the truth. 'Kendall.' The blonde haired girl pleaded, 'If you don't tell me, tell someone else. I'm really worried about you.' She's worried about me. She's actually worried about me. My heart sank deeper into my chest than it ever had done before. I knew I had to tell her.

I took a deep breath, looked straight into her eyes, and whilst trying not to get lost in them I spoke. 'Jo, something happened to me as a child... and it's coming back to get me.' I murmured, looking into my hands. 'What's coming to get you, Kendall?' She asked, weary of what she may uncover, touching my hands with hers. Even though it was warm, a cold shadow grew above me. 'Yeah.' a voice bellowed, 'What's coming to get you, Kendall?'

HAHHAAAA!
Yet another cliff hangeeerrr!
aren't they just the best?:D
Anyway!
Who do you think the 'cold shadow' is?
did you like this chapter?
do I keep having to ask you to give me reviews of whatcha think?
Gawsh!
well, I hope you liked it anyway!:D
(Also, massive thanks for Becky who's being like my not-so-BETA-Reader on this story ... but over skype!:D)
Buhbyee!
x