"Castiel."

Cas was resting in a luxurious hotel room. Neither he nor Dean needed to sleep, but old habits prevailed. The holographic television screen zapped to life with a deafeningly shrill noise.

"Castiel," it repeated.

"Yes, I'm here," he said, unable to stifle the terrible waves of dread cascading through him.

"Long time no see," shrieked the television. "Centuries, in fact."

"You can't kill me through a television set," Cas stated insolently. He poured himself a glass of Dean's favorite alcoholic drink, not caring that it wouldn't have any effects whatsoever.

"We don't intend to kill you, Castiel."

"Then why- Why send me into hiding?" Cas seethed. "Come down and talk to me yourself, ass-butt!" He sent the now-empty tumbler shattering into the wall.

"You really should broaden your range of insults," came a voice from behind him. Cas turned to see an immaculately clean angel dressed in a pre-teen girl's body and nothing else.

"Interesting choice of vessels," he seethed at the naked young girl.

"Oh, yes, this is Isabella. She was about to take a bath." The angel glanced down at its body.

"If you're going to kill me..."

"I said, it was never our intention to kill you." She sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Why are you here?"

"There are those that want you dead, but most of us just wish for you to repent."

"No. I refuse."

Isabella sighed.

"You are going to be persecuted by your... enemies unrelentingly, Castiel. They do not forgive, and they will not rest until you cease to exist or take back your words."

"Lying is a sin, and to take back my words would be a lie."

"You still mean what you told us centuries ago?"

Cas paused. He certainly had meant it then, but so much had changed since then.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"You need to watch your back, Castiel. Reassess your statements and act on them."

With the noise of feathers, Cas was left alone in the room. He sighed, mulling over the anonymous angel's words.

This time, he didn't bother with a glass; he drank directly from the bottle.

It didn't help.

"Did you find anything out about Daniel?" Cas asked as Dean returned to the hotel, trying to keep all emotion out of his voice.

"Daniel her second cousin, Daniel her kindergarten teacher or Daniel the gardener?" Dean grumbled.

"Why don't you just let some mortal hunter deal with it?" Cas sat down on the bed, wishing he had the ability to sleep. Dean was infuriating him; going on as if nothing had changed, as if centuries hadn't passed, as if he was still human and they were just Dean and Cas-

"I guess I could, but..."

"But what? You want to be a hunter again? After you allowed yourself to become the very thing that you used to track down and kill without any second thought?" Cas hissed, suddenly angry at the demon.

"Cas, I-"

"You are a selfish-" Cas flew across the room and punched him squarely in the jaw- "Unworthy-" another punch- "Traitorous-" punch- "Bastard."

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean looked hurt and confused. He touched his jaw gingerly.

"Dean, did you not think about the consequences of your actions?" Cas narrowed his eyes, trying to communicate even a fraction of his anger towards the former hunter. "Do you know what you've done?"

"I was busy having my skin cut off and my organs set on fire to think, Cas," Dean shouted. "When I agreed, they were sawing my limbs off, peeling back my burnt, blackened flesh, boiled alive in molten steel, my insides floating around me! Besides, I thought-"

"Thought what? You could get some new toys to play with and resume your old life? Just come back and poke at some ghosts as usual?"

"Cas, I wanted to come back so that I could change things. I wanted to help people." Dean sat down at the desk, cradling his head in his hands.

"I sacrificed everything for you, Dean. There are angels tripping over themselves to get to me right now. If I so much as step into that hallway, I'll be burned to cinders."

"You sacrificed- what are you talking about?"

"There's a reason I've been in hiding for centuries, Dean! Or were you too wrapped up in your little border-hopping game to stop and think?" Cas sank down onto the mattress, worn out from his shouting.

"Cas, I thought you were dead, man. You've got no idea what that's like. I thought I had nothing left to lose," Dean confessed, tracing his finger along the scratches in the wood.

"I think I know what that's like, Dean."

"You can't possibly know," he spat.

"I thought you'd gone to heaven, Dean, and now I have to see you like-like this. I can't bear to spend time with you because you've fallen so far. I miss you, Dean! If you were dead, then at least I still would have loved- regarded you highly." Cas lay back. "My best friend has become the thing we used to hate more than anything and he's fine with it," he muttered.

An uncomfortable silence stretched on. Dean and Cas both found themselves watching the other, only to look away when their eyes met.

"So, you can't leave this room, then?" Dean finally broke the silence.

"I was given a warning and promptly posted some sigils around the room. No angel can get in, but they know where I am and are waiting for me to step outside."

"Damn." The demon let out a low whistle. "Sounds like you really pissed 'em off."

"Yes, they are quite furious with my actions."

"What did you do, Cas? You never told me why they're angry at you, or what you've been up to for these last few centuries."

"I created a safe haven and stayed there ever since you sacrificed yourself. I left once, to collect your brother's body and lay it next to yours."

"Why?"

"Do you remember that day?"

"A bit. I remember some demons, and that they were going to destroy Sam's soul, and then I was Crowley's punching bag."

"Angels sold you out to Crowley. They wanted to test my loyalties. They joined forces with demons, who just wanted you dead before you could do anymore to hinder them. So they took Sam, threatened to destroy your soul, and forced me to watch as you decided between your own life and your brother's. They would have killed you both anyways, no matter what your choice, it was my test. Then they allowed me to make a choice; I could stop you and disown myself from the host, or I could allow the slaughter of a mere human and prove my loyalty to Heaven."

"I don't remember that."

"You had no knowledge of any of it. You didn't even know I was there."

Dean frowned, angry that his friend had had to choose between him and his own family.

"I chose to save you, but it was too late. You were killed beyond resurrection and Heaven knew that I didn't love them as much as I loved you." Cas let out a quiet sigh. Then he realized what he had said. "And your brother, of course," he hastily amended. "I freed Sam but Crowley took you." His voice broke.

"Cas..." Dean had no idea what to say.

"And now my brothers want to purge themselves of the brother that dared to love a mortal more than them." Cas took a shuddering breath. He'd pushed these things to the back of his mind, and they felt awful.

"You severed all ties to heaven to save me?" Dean asked, regarding his old friend in a new angle.

"But I didn't save you. You're broken, Dean, and I can't fix you," Cas whimpered. "That hurts more than anything my brothers and sisters could possibly do to me."

"I'm so sorry, Cas, I didn't mean-"

"Don't, Dean, please," the angel interrupted. "You can't undo what you did, and I can't either."

"What I don't understand is why they didn't try to kill you before. I mean, this isn't the first time you've put me over them."

"No. we were told to love the humans, and I did, more than I should have. But I committed a crime far worse then Lucifer's. He refused to love the humans, defying God's orders. But I- I fell in love with one."

Dean stared at him.

Cas loved me.

Suddenly he felt very human again, very weak and small and insignificant.

"In the eyes of my brothers and sisters, that's the most blasphemous act ever committed. To lower myself to the standards of creatures like you."

"Cas," whispered Dean, unable to say much else.

"That day, I stood there and told my family that I no longer loved them as much as I loved you. I told them that I would never again be loyal only to them. Now can you see why they don't want me to live?"

Dean walked shakily over to the bed to sit next to Cas.

"How long?"

"I don't know exactly."

"Cas." Dean cleared his throat. "I think I did too."

The former hunter threw his arm around the disgraced angel's shoulder and buried his head in his trench coat. They sat in silence until the sun came up, scared and sad and hopeful all at once.