Chapter 11

"Damn!" Derek yelled, as he stumbled into yet another hole.

"Derek, let me walk. You're going to get hurt, too, if you don't."

"I'm fine," Derek said through gritted teeth. "Besides, we're almost back."

"Derek, please. I'm fine."

"Fine, but if you take even one step that isn't stable, I am carrying you again," Derek said, as he set Meredith down again. She ground her teeth, trying as hard as she could to keep her face neutral as her feet hit the ground. It felt like someone was shoving a dagger into her ankle. She tried to step forward, but her ankle gave out under her weight. She let out a small yelp, as she crumpled to the ground. Tears sprang into her eyes, as Derek arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back up.

"Will you not argue with me now?" Derek said, as he situated her back in his arms. Wrapping one hand around his neck, Meredith brought her free hand up to her face, wiping away the pained tear that had slipped out. Derek walked in silence, as the sky became darker and darker. Something was wrong, Meredith could tell. His mouth was set in a thin line, his brow furrowed, his eyes flashing. But she was too afraid that it was her that was upsetting him. So she continued to allow his to carry her in silence.

After a few more minutes of walking, Meredith heard the faint sound of voices.

"Do you hear that?" she said quietly, in almost a whisper. Derek didn't answer, as the voices grew louder and shaped into actual words.

"It's Preston. He's searching for us. Preston, over here!" Meredith yelled. They could see a lantern bobbing through the field and moments later, Preston ran up to them.

"There you are! Christina and I have been worried sick," Preston said, as he gasped for air.

"I have never been so glad to see a stable hand in my life," Derek exclaimed.

"What happened?" Preston asked, noticing the odd way that they had been walking.

"Artemis spooked at a rabbit and I fell off. I hurt my ankle, so Derek insisted that he carry me," Meredith explained, as Preston took the horses from Derek. His other hand free, Derek moved his other arm under Meredith as well, cradling her. The flickering light of Preston's lantern guided their way back to the house that Meredith and Derek longed for.

Her nimble hands slowly wound the cloth around her ankle, her touch cooling the swollen flesh. Meredith cringed, as Christina tied off the bandage.

"This is the best I can do for tonight. A doctor will need to see to you tomorrow," Christina said, as she cleaned up the small table next to the bed.

"No," Meredith exclaimed, "I cannot have a doctor examine me."

"What is this sudden dislike in doctors?" Christina asked Meredith, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"There is no sudden dislike in doctors. The problem is any doctor that comes is surely to know my father, since we spent so much time here, and seeing Derek here would send thousands of rumors flying."

"I cannot imagine that every doctor in the state of Massachusetts knows your father. What is the real reason?"

Meredith shifted her eyes to the floor and twisted her nightgown in her hands.

"What are you avoiding?" Christina asked, as she moved closer to Meredith. Meredith turned her eyes up to her, tears of fear and shame brimming in her eyes.

"I…I…I'm pregnant."

The sound of porcelain shattering rang through the room, as the pitcher Christina had been holding crashed to the floor. Water spread over the floor and Christina dropped to her knees, picking up the shattered pieces and mopping up the water with her apron. She then returned to her feet, placing the pieces on the table, avoiding Meredith's gaze, as tears spilled down her face.

"Is there nothing you will say to me, nothing that could ease this burden weighing on my heart so?"

"Does Derek know?" Christina asked, an icy edge in her voice.

"No."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I was not planning on doing it soon, but it will become evident soon and he will insist upon knowing whether or not the child is his."

"How are you going to cover this up? You obviously can't tell anyone that the child is Derek's."

"I don't know, Christina. I have avoided thinking of the future since I found out."

"Which was when?"

"A week ago."

"Do you know when the child was conceived?"

"No. I can only guess that is was four or five weeks ago."

Christina ran a hand through her tousled hair, while heaving a sigh.

"I cannot believe that you would do something so rash. You know that this was a very likely outcome to your relations with Mr. Sheperd, but yet you never stopped."

"Christina…" Meredith began, but Christina cut her off with a raised hand.

"I used to admire you. You seemed so independent, so strong. But now you have proven to me that you are nothing more than all of those other shallow women in that vile city that we live in." With this, Christina stormed out of the room, leaving Meredith in stunned silence.

As Christina shut the door behind her, she looked over to see Derek leaning against the wall, his expression pained and confused. The pained look on his face was met by a cold glare from Christina. She turned on her heel and walked down the hallway, leaving Derek to the thoughts that were wrestling in his head.

"She's pregnant," screamed the voice inside his head. "She's pregnant and she wasn't going to tell me." Slamming his fist against the wall, he staggered down the hall.

Meredith jumped to her feet, as the sound of someone hitting the wall resounded through the room. She ran to the door and flung it open, just in time to see Derek's back disappear down the stairs. She limped out of the room, trying to catch up with him.

"Derek!" she yelled after him. "Derek, please wait!"

"Why should I?" Derek yelled, as he turned back to glare at her. "You weren't going to tell me you are pregnant with my child!"

"Derek, I was, I honestly was. Just not now and not like this."

"Why should I believe you?"

"You're right. You have no real reason to believe me. Except for the fact that I love you."

"You love me? If you truly love me, why weren't you going to tell me?"

"Because this could ruin you. I have already accepted my own ruin, but I will not stand by and watch yours, knowing that I caused it. Derek, you will lose everything if anyone ever knows that this child is yours."

"I don't care about that anymore. All I care about is you. But if you feel that you have to lie to me and hide things as big as this from me, I don't know if this, us, is worth it anymore."

"Derek, please don't say that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please don't leave me."

"Meredith, I can't do this right now. I just need some space," Derek said, as he continued down the stairs and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. Meredith sank to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and burying her head in her hands. She sat there for a few moments, trying to figure out how to put together all of the pieces of her life that lay broken at her feet.

The toe of Derek's shoe connected with the wooden groom box, sending the brushes flying through the air. The sudden noise brought many of the horses to the front of their stalls, their heads turned towards him. Derek walked over to Artemis and placed his hand on her head, gazing into her chocolate eyes.

"How did we go from joy and fun this morning to deceit and pain now?" Derek asked the inquisitive animal as he scratched her neck. He continued to stand there, not noticing Preston walking up behind him. "It's like I don't know her anymore. But I guess I never did in the first place."

Preston cleared his throat and Derek spun on his heel to face him.

"Oh, Preston, it's you," Derek said, relief passing over his face.

"Yes, sir," Preston replied, surveying the damage that Derek had done to the groom box.

"I'm sorry about that," Derek said as he noticed his gaze. "I guess my frustration got the better of me."

"If I'm not being too bold, may I ask what that frustration is about. I may not be your top choice for advice, but I may be able to help," Preston asked, while picking up the brushes.

"Everything is just so complicated," Derek groaned, leaning against the stall door. "It would take much too long to explain."

"I don't have to go anywhere. You might as well tell me."

"Well, let me just ask you a question first: what do you think is my relation with Meredith?"

"When you first arrived, I thought you were just a close friend. Meredith has never shown any real interest in a man, so I didn't really think you could be anything more. But then when I saw you in the barn and when I came out to find you, I knew it was something more. I have never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you and she's finally opened up after her mother and sister died for the first time, because of you. But my question for you is what exactly are you to her?"

"This is where things get complicated," Derek said. "We met right after she arrived in New York. She came to the ball that my family was throwing to celebrate the announcement of my engagement, to another woman. I was so upset because my father had arranged the marriage in order to further his business and Meredith was my escape. But it turned into something much more. We ended up sneaking around in order to see each other. I even snuck into her house one night and slept with her in her father's study. But it wasn't just the sex; it turned into love, a deeper love than I have ever felt in my life. But complications have just kept piling up. First, she got engaged to my best friend. And I just found out that she's pregnant with my child and she wasn't planning on telling me."

"Wow," Preston said.

"That's an extremely simple way to put it," Derek said with contempt in his voice.

"I' m sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I grew up with Meredith. I just can't imagine the tomboy that I used to play with in the fields has gotten involved in such treachery."

"I guess we have weaved a tangled web," Derek admitted, heaving a sigh.

Preston stood there, looking at him, trying to figure out what would be best to say.

"Are you going to say anything, or are you just going to continue standing there, staring at me?"

"Do you love her?"

"More than life itself."

"Then what is the problem?"

"She still feels like she has to hide things from me. She just keeps saying 'It's not your burden to bear' over and over."

"Have you made her feel safe, made her feel like she can open up to you?"

"Yes. There is nothing that I have done to not make her trust me." His face dropped, as the realization hit him like a boulder. "I yelled," he groaned.

"When?"

"A week ago. I had just found out that she was engaged to my best friend and my anger got the best of me. I yelled, saying that she was betraying me. We argued and she threw me out, but before I could leave… Oh my god, the baby. She collapsed, that must have hurt the baby. And the fall today. I have to go!" Derek yelled over his shoulder, as he ran out of the barn and back to the house. He bounded up the stairs and ran into her room. She lay on her bed with her back turned towards him. He stopped in the doorway, just staring at her beautiful form.

"How's your ankle?" he asked quietly.

"Fine," she murmured, not turning to look at him. He walked over so that he was standing next to the bed. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but still refused to look at him. He watched as she moved her hand protectively over her stomach and a light smile toyed at his mouth. He moved to sit next to her and laid his hand over hers. She reluctantly turned her head and stared into his worried blue eyes.

"Is the baby alright?" Derek choked out, worry creasing his forehead.

"I don't know, Derek. I hope so, but I just don't know" she whispered, as a small tear trickled down her cheek.

"It will be fine," he murmured, wiping away the tear with his thumb. They sat in silence for a few moments, until Derek's face became constricted with anxiety once again. "What are we going to do?"

"I can stay here. No one will ever have to know if I stay here."

"But what about Mark? And I can't stand the thought of never being able to see you."

"I don't know, Derek. I can hide it for a little while, but there's is only so much fabric that can be sown into a dress. And people will get suspicious if I suddenly start wearing large dresses."

"What about a doctor?"

"We'll have to get a doctor that won't say anything, which would probably require a larger payment."

"Will you have the baby in New York?"

"I don't know, Derek. That's so far off."

"People are going to think you're a w. And I can't stand that," Derek said, rage coming over his face at the thought.

"Do you think Mark would claim the baby as his?"

"I'm sure he would. He does know about us. But that would soil your marriage in the eyes of society before you are even married."

"That's the only way that wouldn't ruin all of us. It's what we will have to do."

"Let's not trouble ourselves with this trying matter anymore. This is our escape. So now we shall forget the possibilities of the future and just enjoy our time together," Derek whispered into her ear, as he laid down next to her and rubbed his hand over her stomach.

Hi! I'm FallInotTheGrey's friend Nadine Dawson from the Titanic boards, she asked me to post this chapter and so here I am! I hope that ya'll will review this for her because I know that will make sure smile when she returns home. Thank you!