Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one
Who is the schizophrenic psycho, yeah
Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one
Who is the paranoid psycho
I'm the one, I'm the one
Who is the schizophrenic psycho
I'm the one, I'm the one
Who is the schizophrenic psycho
I'm the one, I'm the one
Who is the schizophrenic psycho
Puddle of Mudd - Psycho
Chapter Four: Yellow Ward and Red Pyre
I think this is the only place I could ever be somewhat content in. It doesn't make sense, seeing as how I'm now among the lowest of the low – the scourge of the Human World's inhabitants. It is true that there is the occasional deranged scream from a patient who is farther gone than even my pathetic human, but other than that, it is silent and white and plain and there's nothing around to fray at my nerves.
Quinn seems to think the opposite. She's only been here for a few minutes, and the only thing she's done is bury her face in her hands and twitch occasionally. A nurse came by and dropped off a game of Scrabble, and I tried to coax Quinn into playing it with me, even though it would mean her speaking to me in her annoying voice with her unpleasant monkey-face. It doesn't seem like she's adjusting well to the Psych Ward.
We're only in the Yellow Ward, which means that she's not under any kind of suicide watch. She's got a few privileges, but like I said, she hasn't moved from that chair. The staff just got done with her evaluation and tests and such. Her weight, height. Boring human things. She was offered pills. Quinn tried to refuse them, but the nurses waited until she was sure that Quinn had swallowed them before leaving. They also didn't search her at all. The Death Note was still safe in her jacket.
It's her own fault. She could've lied about what she did to her shrink. But no. She had to tell her mom, and land us as involuntary patients in the loony bin.
Oh well. I like it here. It's so quiet and clinical.
Quinn stirs beside me and I look at her. She quieted a short time after her pills were administered, and this is the first time she's moved since then.
"I hope you know that you're just as trapped as I am," she says. "I'm not going to give up ownership of the Death Note. And I'm not likely to die in here."
"On the contrary," I say. "You've only been in here for less than a day and you're already catatonic. Three days and the little bubble of sanity you still possess will pop. And I bet if I listen closely enough, I will be able to hear it."
She ignores this and changes the subject.
"I need you to hold onto the Death Note. One of those nurses is going to come back and confiscate my stuff any minute now."
"Why would I do that?" I ask. "And anyways, if I hold the Death Note, it'll just appear to float in midair."
"Fine," she says. "Then find me a hiding place."
I grumble but do as she says. I find a place easily – I phase through the wall and hide it in the wallboard insulation.
"Happy?"
She nods, and not a second later, a nurse walks in, carrying an armful of items. Her name is Cathy Dawe. And her lifespan is deliciously intriguing.
"How are we doing?" she says with sickening cheer, though she's carefully watching Quinn's face. Quinn doesn't answer, which probably doesn't help her at all. "I'm Cathy Dawe." The nurse bustles around a bit and then stands in front of Quinn to get her attention. "Could you take your jacket off for me, honey? I just need to go through the pockets." She doesn't really wait for Quinn to respond – just grabs the jacket and starts to gently but forcibly detach the jacket from Quinn. I am thrilled that Quinn's rights are being imposed upon. That's what she gets for bothering me and putting me in this mess.
"Oh," Cathy Dawe says. "We can't have that. Sorry, but I'll need to take this from you."
It's a pen. Quinn could poke her eyes out with it. I can't help it – I snicker. Quinn glares at me.
The nurse continues to pull out the pockets of the jacket and confiscate things.
"Why do you carry dental floss?" I sneer. "And why do they have to take it away from you? It's just dental floss."
"Because some people cut themselves with it," Quinn mutters. The nurse's eyes shoot up to her face but she probably isn't sure of what she heard.
"Okay. Can you put these on for me?" Cathy Dawe says. She hands Quinn a bundle of white clothing.
"Aren't you going to cavity search me?" Quinn growls. The nurse laughs like it's a joke.
"No. We only do that for Red Ward patients."
"Could you turn around then?"
"Sorry, hun, I can't."
This is the best moment of my eternal life. There's no way I'm going to ruin it for myself by getting an eyeful of scrawny naked human. I turn away.
When Quinn finishes, she's burning red, tinting the light white fabric pink.
I could live my entire wretched life in this moment.
"Now," the nurse says with a smile, gathering up the confiscated items and Quinn's old clothes. "We're just going to go through these and they may be returned to you. There are certain conditions for wearing your own clothing here, but for now, you've got to wear that."
"Can I have something to tie my hair back?" Quinn asks sweetly.
"No, sorry. But how about a nice tour of our facilities? You are actually in a sort of teen and young adult ward, so you probably won't see anyone who isn't your age."
"Of course," I cackle. "The rotten miniature insane scum. How organized."
"Okay," Quinn agrees.
Cathy Dawe shows her out of the room and hands her off to another nurse who introduces herself as Anna. Anna smiles at Quinn maternally, even though she only looks about seven or eight years older. My eyes widen. I'm confused. All of the lifespans in this building are so odd. Although, it's said that a human who finds a Death Note is pursued by nothing but misfortune. This must be a very prime example. Maybe my stay here will be entertaining.
"This is the lobby," Anna says. "Visiting hours are permitted for Yellow and Green Wards, from 7 to 8:30am and 5 to 7:30pm every day. There's a library on the floor above this one, and it's available every day. It's shared between all of the Wards." She leads Quinn down a few hallways.
"These are the Green Ward rooms. The Yellow Ward rooms are on the adjacent hallway. And the Red Ward is farther down. The doors have windows in them, but you'll probably be supervised if you're in one any other time than in the evenings. There are two beds per room, so you'll have a roommate. Don't worry, I promise she won't bite."
"You already know who my roommate is?" Quinn asks.
"Well…" the nurse frowns. "I take that back, simply because, yes, I do know her. Let me amend myself…I promise I'll try to keep her from biting."
I smirk at the shocked look on Quinn's face. This place just keeps getting better and better.
"She's actually out in the recreation lobby right now, if you want to meet her."
"I don't know, do I?" Quinn mutters. Anna doesn't hear her, and cheerfully escorts her back through the hallway.
We turn the corner into a wide open room. A few patients around Quinn's age are milling around like lost bums.
"Anna!" a voice calls. Something slams into Anna at several miles an hour and embraces her.
"Rebecca!" Anna coughs. She tries to detach what is now identifiable as a human girl from around her neck and waist. "Get off!"
"I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" Rebecca sings. She grips Anna tighter and starts to eat her hair. An orderly starts advancing on them but Anna manages to wave him away. "Rebecca, get off, or they're going to put you out."
Rebecca unwraps her legs from Anna's waist and drops back onto the floor. She's slightly taller than Anna and much taller than Quinn, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. She's got a red bandanna tied around her forehead. Her dark brown hair is buzzed extremely short.
"I've missed you so much!" Rebecca says. Anna tries to look stern but a small smile cracks through.
"Didn't I tell you not to wear this anymore? I have to confiscate it, you know," Anna says, grabbing the bandanna off of Rebecca's head and putting it in the back pocket of her scrubs. Rebecca pouts, sticking out her lower lip. I guess Quinn isn't the only one who can be unattractive enough to resemble long-gone evolutionary ancestors.
"This is Quinn Collins," Anna says, gesturing. "She's your roommate."
"I see," Rebecca purrs, looking at Quinn appraisingly. "Not bad. I'm Pyre." She sticks out a hand.
Quinn looks confused but takes it. Immediately, Rebecca-Pyre pulls her in close, sniffing Quinn's hair. She closes her eyes, and then moves her mouth by Quinn's ear.
"I'm a pyromaniac. And a kleptomaniac. And a nymphomaniac. And have type two bipolar disorder. My, you are ravishing, my darling," she whispers huskily. I howl with laughter as Quinn tries to pull away from her, looking panicked.
Anna helps Quinn disengage herself from Rebecca-Pyre. Once Quinn is free, Rebecca-Pyre smiles creepily and says, "So, what's your malfunction?"
"My what?" Quinn asks with a frown.
"How crazy are you?"
"Er…" Quinn says, but Anna speaks over her.
"That's enough, Rebecca. "
Rebecca-Pyre giggles, not put out in the slightest.
"We're going to be best friends," she smiles.
Quinn gulps and says, "Look, Rebe-,"
"IF YOU CALL ME REBECCA I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR RIGHT ARM OFF AND GIVE YOU A WET WILLIE WITH THE SOGGY END!" Rebecca-Pyre thunders.
Ah, humans have to resort to such cheap threats. I know Pyre is not strong enough to rip off one of Quinn's limbs. Their frailness goes both ways.
Pyre claps a hand over her mouth, but her mud-brown eyes are still sparkling with annoying mischief.
"Sorry!" she trills. "That's the bipolar disorder speaking. Type two means that I'm like…hyper ALL the time. But I also get really mad easily..hm…just call me Pyre."
I was reluctantly impressed with her ability to make Quinn's life difficult two minutes ago, but now it looks like she's even worse than Quinn. Far crazier, far louder. Why does everything always go downhill for me? This world..no, both worlds, are corrupt. Is there nothing in either of them that is not unpropitious? Except drawing.
Drawing is good.
Anna is shaking her head.
"Why don't you finish up her tour, Rebecca? Can I trust you to do that?"
Pyre snaps into a salute.
"Yes! I can do that! Let's go!" She grabs Quinn's arm and starts towing her in a random direction. The other patients are looking up from whatever banal tasks they were doing and staring at the pair.
"Hang on!" Anna says, dragging her back. "You two have to be in the cafeteria in ten minutes. I'm cutting you some slack, and I shouldn't be, since you're in the Yellow Ward. Don't make me regret it."
"Got it!" Pyre nods. Anna hesitates for a moment but then walks past Quinn and Pyre into the recreation lobby. Pyre eyes her, and covertly snatches the red bandanna out of Anna's pocket. She stuffs it down the front of her shirt and then seizes Quinn's forearm again, pulling her.
"Dig your heels in," I suggest as Quinn is yanked forward. Quinn proves to be unsatisfactory at this, and Pyre easily hauls her through several hallways and past a staircase I assume leads to the library, until there's no sign of anyone. Pyre releases her and then digs in her own shirt overzealously, and I automatically switch my eyes to Quinn.
"I'd hate to be you. And for more reasons than are apparent," I leer.
"Oh, shut up," Quinn whispers.
"What's wrong? You don't want anyone to know that you talk to the monsters only you see? Are you perhaps trying to appear sane so that you can get out of here? Good luck with that," I scoff.
"I knew it!" Pyre says, whirling on Quinn, leaning in extremely close, so that their noses are almost touching. She's retied the bandanna around her forehead. "You're schizophrenic!"
"Huh?" Quinn gasps. "No, I -!"
"I was right," I say smugly. "You are trying to convince people you're not crazy."
Quinn splutters for a few moments while Pyre smirks. Then Pyre leans down and does something so bizarre I immediately avert my eyes.
"What is she doing?" I stammer, severely thrown. Oh…I don't know if I can deal with this…
"Whew, that's better," I hear Pyre say, sounding satisfied. "Good thing they don't do cavity searches in this ward." When I look back, I see her sticking several matches into her bandanna. She pushes them down so they're not visible.
"B-b-but you'll get in huge trouble for that," Quinn says, looking frightened, while pointing at the bandanna. Pyre scoffs.
"Those nurses love me. They'll put on a show for the sake of their jobs, but they know that I love the padded room. If you are spastic enough, they put you in a straitjacket as well. You can roll around in there for hours. You're trapped, but it also sets you free. You can drool and jibber and run into the walls as much as you want and you won't be judged for it because you're already nuts."
"See?" I smirk. "She's confident with her mental standing."
She starts to snarl something at me harshly but Pyre interrupts her.
"Aha! You are schizophrenic. That's awesome. No one here really has a legitimate mental disorder…they're mostly just troubled teens…suicide failures. Bulimics. Anorexics. Of course, Thompson thinks that he was abducted by aliens…" she trails off, and then shakes her head to get herself back on topic. "But anyways, that really is cool! I wonder if maybe the voices or the things you see are really there on another plane of existence, you know? I know! I'll stick around you, huh? I might figure out how to be able to get into contact with them somehow. I've always wanted to light a phantom on fire!"
Quinn's mouth is dangling open. It's not attractive. But I'd have to touch her face to get her to close it, and that's not in my contract. It's solved though, when she snaps her jaw shut and says, "Are you insane?"
Pyre looks at her oddly.
"Um, duh?"
Pyre turns and skips down the hallway like a loon.
"What's a kleptomaniac? And a nymphomaniac?" I ask reluctantly. I don't know what they are, and I want to be prepared for whatever this nutter decides she's going to do next. Pyromaniac was easy with the…procured matches from earlier.
"A kleptomaniac is a person who is constantly stealing," Quinn says, following Pyre automatically. She sounds like she's in a trance. So much for faking her mental stability. "And a nymphomaniac is…er…basically, a perpetually horny girl."
I feel the screws in my own jaw pop out. I'm definitely going to see way too much of that girl. Why couldn't Quinn have gotten a slightly normal roommate?
"And this is the Yellow Ward girl's bathroom!" Pyre steps to the side so we can see. She is waving her arms in a grand flourish, like the tiled walls are revolutionary. "Come on in, I will give you a tour. It's quite thrilling in here. We've got the nicest toilet seats ever."
Quinn steps in reluctantly. I follow, even more so.
"Look at the sinks!" Pyre says, scampering over to them. Quinn whimpers and follows her. I have to blink a maggot out of my eye in disbelief, because suddenly Quinn's sitting on the edge of the sink, pinned against a mirror by Pyre.
"Reb-…Pyre!" Quinn yelps. She's trying to kick Pyre off but she's too close. "Anathema, help!"
I watch the pair of them for a moment, debating. Pyre…a nymphomaniac. Obviously. Let's see…I'm not at all obligated to help Quinn in this situation – her life is definitely not in danger. But for one thing, this is not a very pleasing sight. I'm actually rather disturbed. Quinn is holding her off sufficiently though…but I suppose Pyre is stronger and will eventually win out.
"Anathema!" Quinn yells again.
Then again, this kind of experience might traumatize Quinn. If she becomes any more demented, then she'll never be released from this place. And she has a greater likelihood of dying in the outside world. There's almost no way for her to go in a place like this…outside…the possibilities are endless. She might get hit by a car or fall off a building or down the stairs…and then I'd be free to restart my year and eventually get back to my own realm…
It's settled. I grab the back of Pyre's shirt and pull her off of Quinn. I don't release her immediately, so she's a few feet in the air, kicking her feet and thrashing about. A combination of human expletives and shrieks pours out of her mouth, so I finally drop her. She lands on her butt, but she looks thrilled.
"I knew it! They are tangible! That means I can light it on fire!" She immediately jumps up and strikes a match on her teeth and starts to wave it around in my general direction.
I don't know what to say – the sight is too bizarre. Pyre jumps up and down waving the match, then drops down and crawls around, still waving it. I give Quinn a look, but she's too busy recovering from Pyre's assault.
"Don't be a pansy," I snap at her. "Suck it up and get her away from me."
Quinn slides off the edge of the sink and starts shouting things. It's too high pitched for me to stand, so I float there, trying to get the ringing out of my ears. I'm not bothered by missing what she's saying – it's not like anything that she thinks matters. Pyre stops crawling around. She glances at the flame, which has eaten most of the match, and puts it out before it can get to her fingers. Then she stands up and starts laughing. Quinn stops yelling and stares at her.
She's doubled over laughing, holding her stomach.
"That was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me!" she cries with mirth. "If I wasn't already crazy, I'd be really worried!"
"Wh-what?" Quinn says, taking a step back.
"That thing that just picked me up. It obviously exists!" Pyre says excitedly.
It would seem that all humans are obviously cursed with acute stupidity.
Quinn is giving her a guarded look, but Pyre just keeps prattling about how much she wants to light me on fire and steal from me. I'm slightly uncomfortable. It feels a lot like it did when I thought Quinn could see my God form. I get sick of listening to Pyre go on and on, so I reach up and pluck a maggot from my head. I pinch it between my fingers and then drop it on Pyre's buzzed head. She shrieks and jumps a mile. It crawls around for a moment, then slowly disintegrates.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" she yells, clawing at her scalp.
It was payback.
"Rebecca? Quinn?" a voice comes from the hallway. Anna walks in a moment later. "There you are."
"I thought you trusted me?" Pyre pouts, taking her hand off her head.
"I realized how dumb that sounded just a few minutes ago. Come on, it's time for dinner."
Pyre sighs, but then brightens.
"Hey!" she cheers. "I almost forgot about that part! Wait till you meet the other lunatics!"
Quinn looks like she'd rather do anything but. I have to agree with her. If Pyre gets along with them, who knows what they're like?
A/N: Some new characters, hooray. Feel free to review.