That night, Alex lies in bed with Olivia, tossing and turning in her girlfriend's arms. "I'm scared, Liv," she finally admits.
"Baby, don't be scared," Olivia says, pulling Alex closer to her. "I promise you, we're going to get through this together. I won't let you go to jail for this. You didn't do it, Alex. I know that."
"It doesn't matter." To her horror, Alex feels tears rushing to her eyes. "Let's just – let's just enjoy today, while we can, and have our time together."
"Alex –"
"Olivia, don't lie to me. All the evidence points to me. Lauren says I did it, Annabelle Bradley says Lauren told her I did it, her parents say I did it, the psychologist testified that she'd been abused, and according to Brooklyn SVU, I'm the most viable suspect. I have nothing to say to disprove it."
"Alex, you didn't do it. The jury will see that."
"How?"
"When you take the stand, they'll see that you just made a mistake and you didn't do what they're accusing you of."
"And if I fall apart on the stand and have a panic attack?"
"You won't."
"Liv, you didn't see me in court today. I couldn't breathe."
Olivia smoothes her hair back from her forehead, her heart clenching at the situation that seems to be getting more hopeless by the minute. "It's going to be okay, princess, I promise. I love you. I will always be here for you, and I'll do whatever I can. You just say the word, and I'll do whatever you need."
Alex curls against Olivia's side again. Her stomach coils as she thinks of taking the stand. It won't be for another week, at least, and she doesn't think she'll be able to survive that long. She can't sit in that suffocating courtroom, listening to horrible, untrue things being said about herself – or equally horrible, true things, that she can't speak of to Liz or Serena or even Olivia. And when those things come out in court and she hasn't told Liz, it will all be over. There's no other possible sequence of events.
Olivia feels the tension return to Alex's body and gently rubs her back. "Sleep now, princess. I promise I'll be here when you wake up, every day, for the rest of our lives."
Alex sighs. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
The next two days of Alex's trial seem endless, and it's all she can do to sit at the defense table, fidgeting, until finally she's allowed to return to Olivia. Another psychologist testifies and so does Lauren's current teacher, as well as the doctor who did the rape kit, and on the second day, her mother and stepfather testify, and Alex has to clench her fists so as not to jump up and scream that Anderson is really the one who should be on trial, not her. Elliot also testifies, although the only purpose Alex can see for this is that Elliot saw Alex lift Lauren's skirt and isn't 100% sure that she's innocent.
On day three, Lauren's recorded testimony is shown to the jury and the final witness is called to testify. Alex's heart nearly stops when she recognizes who this witness is – she hasn't seen him in nearly twenty years, and now she knows it's over and her worst fears have come to fruition.
Simmons asks him to state his name and address for the record, then says, "Do you know the defendant, Alexandra Cabot?"
"Yes, but I haven't seen her in about twenty years."
Simmons nods. "How do you know her?"
"She lived next door to us and babysat my daughter when she was fourteen."
"And how old was your daughter at the time?"
"She was almost five."
"And when did Ms. Cabot stop babysitting for your daughter?"
"When my little girl told me that Alexandra had touched her inappropriately."
"What did your daughter say, specifically?"
"That Alexandra was giving her a bath and had touched her genitals in a way that made her feel uncomfortable while bathing her."
"And what did you do?"
"Confronted her about it."
"And what did she say?"
"That Sabrina had wet herself and she was cleaning it up."
"And do you believe this to be the truth?"
"No. Sabrina hadn't wet herself since she was two."
"So what did you do?"
"I took Sabrina to the doctor and had her examined."
"And what did the doctor find?"
"That Sabrina's hymen was torn and that the area was irritated."
Simmons nods. "The People would like to enter into evidence Sabrina D'Angelo's medical records from this period of time," he says, holding up a stack of papers.
"So entered," Judge Bailey says.
Simmons approaches the witness stand and hands the papers to Mr. D'Angelo. "Will you please read the highlighted portion of these papers?"
Mr. D'Angelo nods. "Sexual abuse is suspected."
"And you suspected that Ms. Cabot is the one who abused your daughter?"
"Yes."
"Was she ever charged with this crime?"
"She was questioned by the police, but never officially charged, and Sabrina's case is still open. But I believe I know who committed the crime."
"Who?"
"Alexandra. That's why we no longer allowed her to babysit our daughter."
Simmons nods. "Thank you, Mr. D'Angelo. Nothing further."
Alex can feel Liz's eyes boring into the back of her head and knows Liz is wondering why Alex hasn't told her about this, why Alex has jeopardized her own case in this way. But she couldn't tell Liz anything that might make Liz think she's guilty, and she knows this is what will convict her. One crime she didn't commit is feasible, but two? Implausible at best.
Liz gets up and walks toward Mr. D'Angelo. "So you believe that Ms. Cabot molested your daughter when she was fourteen because your daughter's hymen was torn and her genital region was irritated?"
"Yes."
"Isn't it true that a girl can tear her hymen through a number of activities, including something as innocuous as riding her bicycle?"
"I'm not a doctor, so I can't say for sure."
Liz nods. "And isn't it true that the irritation to her genitals could have easily been caused by an infection such as a yeast infection?"
Mr. D'Angelo smiles tightly. "I highly doubt the doctors would have missed a yeast infection."
"When did you take your daughter to the doctor?"
"When she told me of the abuse."
"When did she tell you of the alleged abuse?"
Mr. D'Angelo bites his lip. "About a week after it occurred."
"So it is possible that the irritation was caused by a yeast infection that had subsided by the time she had her appointment?"
"I suppose it's possible, but the more likely explanation is that Alexandra Cabot sexually abused my little girl twenty years ago, just as she did with Lauren Davis."
"Objection!" Liz says sharply.
"Sustained," the judge says. "Mr. D'Angelo, please limit your responses to your own personal experiences."
Mr. D'Angelo nods.
Liz sighs. "Nothing further."
Judge Bailey turns to Mr. D'Angelo. "Mr. D'Angelo, you're excused."
"The prosecution rests, Your Honor," Simmons says.
Judge Bailey nods. "We'll break for lunch and return in an hour."
Sure enough, the second they're out of the courtroom, Liz says sharply, "Why didn't you tell me about this, Alexandra?"
"I know it looks bad –" Alex says quietly.
"You bet your ass it does! I can't defend you if you're not honest with me, Alex! What else are you hiding?"
"Nothing. The prosecution has no more witnesses."
"For now."
Alex sighs. "I didn't do it, Liz."
Liz rolls her eyes. "Of course you didn't. But I wish you'd told me and we could have planned for this!"
Alex isn't listening, because she's spotted Olivia, standing in the doorway and waiting with open arms. Alex gladly walks into them and lets Olivia hold her, relieved that Olivia hasn't been in that courtroom to hear all of that. She buries her face in Olivia's shoulder, and Olivia gently strokes her hair.
"Come on, princess," Olivia says after a moment. "Let's go sit in the lunchroom."
Alex follows Olivia into the lunchroom and settles down on the couch with her. Olivia wraps her arms around Alex and kisses her forehead. She doesn't ask what happened in the courtroom, but she can feel the tension between Alex and Liz and the tension Alex is carrying in her body. It makes her want to kill Damien Anderson.
Alex can't sleep again that night, and even though she's wrapped in three blankets, a duvet, and Olivia's warm arms, she can't stop shivering. A sense of foreboding fills her to the core – she knows that even though the defense starts their case tomorrow, they're going to lose. She's going to be convicted and sent to jail, away from Olivia. But she can't say this, because Olivia will tell her she's just being silly and not to worry, and that everything will be okay. Olivia doesn't realize that Alex would prefer the truth to comforting lies.
Olivia lets go of Alex so she can go turn up the heat in the apartment – again – and returns a moment later, pulling Alex into her arms again. "I love you, princess," she says, pressing a kiss to the crown of Alex's head. "No matter what happens, I will always love you."
Alex sighs and pulls the duvet more tightly around herself, trying to stop her teeth from chattering.
Olivia holds her close. "Is there anything I can do to help you, sweetheart?"
Alex shakes her head. "I'm okay," she says quietly. "You go to sleep, Liv. There's no point in both of us staying up."
Olivia starts to thread her fingers through Alex's hair and gives her another kiss. She doesn't say anything, knowing that Alex won't want to appear any more vulnerable than she's already been forced to be.
They stay like that all night, curled up together in bed, not sleeping, just taking comfort in each others' presence.
The next day, the defense begins to present their case. There isn't much to say – Liz calls a few character witnesses, a psychologist, a doctor, and finally, on the second day, Alex herself.
Alex tells the jury about Lauren's accusation against her stepfather and what actually happened while they were alone together. Finally, Liz says, "Ms. Cabot, did you molest Lauren Davis?"
Alex shakes her head. "No, I did not," she says clearly, biting her lip to prevent herself from continuing the thought – that she never has and never would hurt anyone in this way, that she finds Damien Anderson and his accusations despicable, that he should be the one on trial, not her.
Liz nods. "Nothing further." She turns to Simmons. "Your witness."
Alex feels her body start to shake again, but she clasps her hands and tries to calm down as Simmons approaches the witness stand. It's almost over. She's not sure if the thought is comforting or frightening.
"Ms. Cabot, your testimony is that you have never touched Lauren Davis' genitals, correct?"
"That's correct," Alex says firmly.
"So how do you explain the fact that your blood was found both under her fingernails and on her underwear?"
"I'm not sure, and I don't care to speculate. However, I can assure you that I did not molest that little girl." Alex hopes that this will be enough, but she knows in her heart that it won't be.
"So you say." Simmons raises his hand. "Nothing further."
The judge nods to Alex. "You may step down."
Alex stumbles slightly as she steps down from the witness stand. She's never been on this side of the courtroom before, and it feels surreal.
She's the last witness, and now it's time for the jury's deliberation. Alex is allowed to leave, but she stays at the courthouse, in one of the lawyers' rooms, while they wait for the verdict. Liz says they may not reach a decision today, but Alex doesn't care. She knows if she goes home, she'll be just as anxious as she is here, so it won't make a difference.
She sits on the couch with Olivia on one side and Serena on the other. Olivia keeps a protective arm wrapped around her and caresses Alex's trembling arm, unconsciously planting kisses on Alex's cheek every few moments and trying to keep her mind off the impending verdict. She tells Alex about a movie they should go see this weekend, if she doesn't have to work, and about a book she's read that she thinks Alex will like, but Alex isn't listening. Her mind keeps returning to the jury, and she wonders what they're discussing right now. Do they honestly believe she's guilty?
Hours stretch on, seeming to last an eternity, and finally Liz comes in and tells them it's time to go home. The jury hasn't reached a verdict yet, and they'll continue deliberating tomorrow.
So Olivia takes Alex home, and they wait. There's nothing more they can do.