Negligence
The sound of the clock's ticking poked through the midnight silence. The Hokage mansion was quiet, but far from serene. Two children slept in the bedrooms, but the mother was wide awake, seated in a chair downstairs.
Five minutes dragged by.
Hinata could bear a little lateness.
Thirty minutes gone.
Naruto would be back any moment, she was sure of it.
An hour wasted away in the despondent darkness.
A slow dismayed sigh whisked into the stillness of the cold night.
The desk lamp illuminated the worry on her delicate features. She leaned into the arm-chair, calming her mind with deep breath through her flared nostrils.
Hinata Uzumaki should be asleep in bed, cosied in the thick covers. She should be wrapped in the strong arms of her beloved husband, his warm breath caressing the nape of her neck as he molded his body beside her. His firm embrace lulling her into a deep slumber.
But lately, all she thought of was the empty space near her as she lay in her bed. The blanket warmed her body but the heat didn't touch the glaciers that entrapped her heart. She should be drifting off into the realm of dreams.
Though he dreams had already come true: she married the love of her life, mothered their two beautiful children, and stood by his side as he conquered dreams of his own. The fragile peace and looming war between the lands was a fragment of the past, a memory that no longer threatened the futures of their children like it had threatened their youth.
The dream she was living and relishing morphed unthinkably into a nightmarish reality. Hinata never expected her fairy-tale ending to turn into a marital battlefield.
She looked out the grand window, the the glass panes stretching towards the high ceiling. It provided a perfect view of the Hokage Tower. Hinata's eyes narrowed at the bright light shining through a window on the lofty building. She could make out a vague silhouette.
She activated her Byakugan, large veins bulging from under the sides of her face.
Naruto's tall form pacing back and forth, his white cloak billowing behind him. A frown formed on his face as his eyes scanned the documents in his hands. He scratched his chin in contemplation, a critical look in his azure orbs. Naruto came to a halt, sitting down and swiveling around. He placed the papers on his desk and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the page.
Naruto was late.
Again.
As usual.
The new normal.
There was a time when pride filled every inch of Hinata's being at the sight of her hardworking husband. But now, her hands curled into tight fists, glaring at the scene.
Naruto promised he'd train Boruto. He promised be back by evening. He promised Himawari that he'd read her a bedtime story. He promised her that they'd eat dinner together as a family.
That he'd be there for them.
If only that had actually happened, she thought wistfully.
The Byagukan receded, the veins disappearing under her pale skin. The moisture that gathered in her eyes gleamed under the moonlight.
Boruto stormed to his room, slamming the door shut while shouting hateful remarks about his father. The boy not only inherited Naruto's blond hair and blue eyes, but his impulsive nature too, saying things that he didn't really mean. But his words were harsh for a boy his age. Hinata couldn't bring herself to scold him. Boruto's anger was a mask, hiding the hurt that had become a commonplace. Hurt she empathized with.
People took every opportunity to tell Boruto how lucky he was to have a father like Lord Seventh. They blathered about ridiculously awesome feats that Boruto could only question with disbelief (transforming into a bloodthirsty, mindless monster- Kurama wasn't that bad- and saving the village from total annihilation sounded overly exaggerated, but not as silly as meeting their ancient ancestor).
It was humiliating that strangers knew more about his own father than he did. As he grew older, the man he studied in history class was not the same man he lived with at home. The framed photos of the family adorned on the walls and tables were a distant memory of a happy time. Boruto could hardly remember the last time he saw his dad grin like he did in the pictures.
Himawari knew her father was an important man. Random people always greeted him with utmost respect when they spent time together on a rare outing in the village's shopping district. Himawari loved being around him. So when Naruto said he'd read her favourite story to her at bed time, she was more ecstatic than the day he bought her the pink teddy bear she cherished so much.
Hinata was forced to lie to Himawari, inventing an excuse she hadn't come up with before to explain why she was in her room instead of Naruto. She was heartbroken at the sadness on her small face. Himawari gave a small, understanding nod, pulling the comforter over her head. The guilt weighed like lead on her chest, and Hinata ruthlessly wished Naruto also witnessed the disappointment he caused in their daughter's eyes.
Naruto's plate of hot food remained untouched in the evening. Hinata, Boruto and Himawari eagerly waited for him to walk through the door. After twenty minutes of the bitter wait, it was obvious he wasn't coming. Hinata and her children tucked into their meal, only the clatter of cutlery and chewing heard in the room. The empty seat on the dining table was glaringly painful, the meal Hinata cooked with excitement cold and dismal reminder of his broken word.
Hinata Uzumaki had enough.
This wasn't the man she knew, the man she married! The person she knew never turned his back on his word, no matter how insurmountable the obstacle that blocked his path was, no matter how long he had to persevere, Naruto always kept his word in the end. For crying out loud, this was the same Naruto who brought Sasuke back to Konoha- even after he tried to kill him more than once!- all because Naruto said he would. That was his ninja way.
The stillness in the air broke with her angry step as she pushed herself off the arm-chair. Hinata would not sleep, not until Naruto entered the mansion.
Their family home.
Though, it felt like it was just her home. It seemed his new residence was the Hokage Tower.
Hinata prided herself in her patience and understanding. But this wasn't something that she endured alone; Boruto and Himiwari were suffering too. And that, she could not bear. She had enough of Naruto placing his family on the bottom of the list, treating his family like a minor footnote, a half-hearted afterthought. Hinata could no longer forgive Naruto's behavior.
A metal click echoed, informing her that the person she was mentally lashing finally arrived. She matched out of the room, stopping at the end of the corridor across the door that pushed open.
"Why are you late?"
Naruto raised a brow at the abrupt question, confused by the lack of her comforting greeting whenever he came home. He studied her expression, an uneasy feeling spinning in the pit of his stomach as he noticed the absence of her warm smile.
Hinata's arms were folded over her chest, the black nightgown tied uncomfortably tight. Her short, indigo hair was disheveled and dark circles marred her famously youthful complexion.
Naruto exhaled, a sigh of exhaustion puffed from his mouth. She waited for him... again. He pulled off his clock and hung it on the hook. His attention fell back onto his wife, the crease on his forehead deepening.
An emotion he rarely saw simmered in the depth of her silvery eyes. It was an hidden rage he observed when they fought enemies side by side, but to see that quiet ferocity directly aimed at him alone was downright unnerving. This was the woman he loved. Naruto couldn't make sense of it and he was too tired to decipher the mysteries of her emotions.
"Why are you late?" Hinata repeated, her steely gaze unrelenting.
"You know exactly why," Naruto said, the annoyance in his voice barely restrained.
After the torturous day he to put up with, his patience was worn as thin as a thread. Naruto didn't understand why making him verbalise something so obvious was necessary. When her expression didn't change at all, another heavy sigh left him.
"It was a busier day at the office than usual. Shikamaru had a day off and there was a lot of backlog. The new employees were slow, and I had a bunch of documents to sign about the villages's finances and trade deals with outlying settlements. Honestly, the meeting were non-stop all day..."
Hinata's stare fastened on Naruto but she wasn't paying heed to his explanation, having heard it numerous times before. Her eyes blazed as she walked towards him, quick and decisively. She jabbed her index finger on his broad chest.
Naruto's eyes widened, bewildered.
"You promised you'd be home on time."
An apologetic look crossed his face.
"Hinata, I'm sorry-"
"You went back on your word again!"
His height towered over her as she looked up at him furiously. In the semi-darkness, Naruto clenched his jaw.
"I know! Don't you think I feel like shit about it?"
"You say that every time, but feeling bad isn't fixing anything!"
"I know, but I'm trying dammit!" His fatigue mixed with indignation, a cantankerous look contorting his handsome features. "When I think I can finally go home there's another thing I have to do. I wish I didn't but it's my job, Hinata."
"What about the promises you make? Aren't they important to you?"
"I make those promises because I really mean them. I want you to know that I care."
Hinata shook her head incredulously.
"Empty words do more harm than good," she paused, exasperation imploding inside her. "When was the last time you sat down and talked to Boruto? Do you know how he's doing at the academy? Or when did you last spent time with Himawari? Did you know I had to lie to our daughter again because you promised you'd be here tonight and you weren't!"
"If I could be here, you know I would in a heartbeat! Everyone is counting on me and I can't let them down."
Naruto's voice was strained, a conflicting expression etched on his face. Hinata would have had sympathy for his grim state, but Boruto and Himawari's pain replayed in her mind.
"But it's okay to let your children down, is that what you're saying?"
"It's not like that and you know it!"
His words slipped out as an affronted hiss, more viscous than he intended.
Hinata winced imperceptibly at the caustic retort. Her eyes darted to the grand staircase behind her, all too aware their exchange grew disturbingly loud. Naruto followed her stare, realizing the same. He dragged a hand down his face, stifling his temper.
"I know how hard you work and that you want the best for all of us."
Hinata's voice was as gentle as a feather. Her eyes softened, a familiar tenderness in her pearlescent orbs that made Naruto's heart ache. Her eyes looked at his hands, pondering briefly whether she should hold them. She decided against it.
She shook her head, the fierceness in her voice returning.
"You have to prioritise us! We are your family!"
"I'm the Hokage, the village is my family too."
Hinata was speechless. She closed her eyes, sucking in a long breath.
"If you're not there for your wife and children," she said, her tone was desperate and resigned, "one day you'll wake up and realise you've lost us."
Unable to cope with the agony as her heart cracked, Hinata whipped around, leaving Naruto stood alone as she climbed up the stairs. Naruto felt a pang of regret as he heard their bedroom door shut with finality. He knew he would be sleeping on the couch.
Again.
Naruto groaned, ruffling his short blonde hair in frustration. He never imagined achieving his life-long goals would be so... punishing. Not even his trusty shadow clones, who saved his ass a thousand times in battle, could rescue him from the mundane responsibilities of adulthood that smothered him.
He thought back to his childish proclamations of being hokage one day. Back then, he craved recognition and acknowledgement. He was starved of love and coveted the beautiful feeling of being valued. Wanted. Respected. Needed. And two decades later, he had all of that and more. Yet, he couldn't declare that he was truly happy.
Maybe it was the horrible irony of the universe, destiny's cruel sense of humour; to be careful for what you wish for.
Aside from being the most important and strongest shinobi of the Hidden Leaf, Naruto had zero clue about the administrative and political aspects of the job. He eventually obtained a good grasp at the constitutional side. The never-ending hours, long diplomatic missions, dreary meetings with the local organisations and leaders of clans; the skyscrapers of paperwork alone made him wish he'd rather fight Kaguya again.
And his blissful marriage was on the rocks because of it. Stuck in his office during long nights, his heart missed his gorgeous wife. He missed the soothing presence that washed away his worries, making him forget the stress with a smile only Hinata could give. Embracing her in his arms melted away the tiredness of work, and the home-cooked meals satisfied his big appetite and revived his energy and optimism.
Naruto missed the sound of laughter in his home, the infectious giggles of his children; the way they wrestled him in a bear-hug even before he stepped in the room, the way Boruto used to look at him in awe.
The days were worse than the nights. Naruto lost count of how many times he was jolted out of his sleep by Shikamaru, drool dripping on highly classified files, instead of awoken by the sight of Hinata's angelic face, her hushed voice rousing him out of his slumber. He remembered his old habit of pulling her down into his arms, snuggling into the crook of her neck as he mumbled for a few more minutes. A grin subconsciously curved on his face as he felt he she leaned into his chest, accepting his lazy request without a hint of reluctance.
Naruto's endeavors to use shadow clones to spend more time with Hinata and his children proved to be a pathetic failure. The gnawing guilt he felt about Himawari's birthday fiasco was burned into his mind, the wound as fresh as the day it occurred.
He knew it wasn't Hinata's fault. The support he gave her was nonexistent as his duties as hokage piled on. Regardless of their struggles, their disagreements never boiled into an serious argument. Naruto never imagined he'd yell at her, or that she'd accuse him of abandoning the people he loved.
'One day you'll wake up and realise you've lost us.'
The words haunted Naruto, reverberating in the confines of his mind. A gut-wrenching feeling twisting him as he laid on the couch. He tossed and turned until a restless sleep mercifully pulled him into oblivion.
I haven't come across a NaruHina story about their lives as parents and how Naruto is tangled up in his responsibilities and relationships. I decided to write one instead. I haven't got a clear-cut story-line but this fic won't be lengthy since I'm currently working on my other Naruto fic "A Change in Fate".
Please let me know your thoughts in a review!