Alex is pulled back to Earth as iron slams against iron. She looks around and sees the other prisoners who were brought in with her. One by one, each woman walks to the officer in claims and hands him their belongings. He records each item and gives it to the prisoner to look over and sign. Now it's Alex's turn. She only had her clothes with her since she's left all of her belongings at their – at Olivia's apartment. Her place is here now, and she's going to have to get used to that.
Signing the paper feels almost like she's signing her freedom away, even though she knows she lost that as soon as she touched Lauren under her skirt. Then she's taken to a room and told to strip. She feels bile rising in her throat at the instruction. She's promised Olivia that she would be the only one who would ever see Alex naked, but now she doesn't have a choice. Removing her clothes for the last times, Alex stands in front of a correctional officer, unclothed and vulnerable, as another guard takes her clothes to the claims officer.
"Turn around, hands against the wall, legs spread," the correctional officer says.
Alex is too stunned to move. "Shouldn't – shouldn't a woman be doing this?" she says, terrified that this man is going to search her, that he is going to put his hands and fingers all over her and inside her. Only Olivia is allowed to touch her so intimately. But she's forgotten – here, she has no privacy. Here, she's not a person anymore, and what she wants or is comfortable with doesn't matter.
The guard yanks on a clump of Alex's hair and spins her around to face him. Forcing her jaw open, he searches the inside of her mouth while he speaks. "I am going to say this to you once, and hopefully it will only be once. Next time I will make sure there is a physical reminder. You will do everything each correctional officer says without question, hesitation, or complaint. You are a criminal, a child abuser. You are the lowest of the low. I will make sure every person in here knows this. If you don't behave, I will make sure they know you were a prosecutor as well. You probably helped put some of these other animals away." The guard shoves Alex up against the wall and leans forward, his breath hot and foul-smelling against her ear. "Now I want to hear a 'sorry, sir'."
Alex bites her lip. She won't say it.
The correctional officer pushes her further into the wall, pulling her head back by her hair. "Did you forget my instructions already?"
Alex whimpers and clamps down harder on her lower lip. She tastes blood, but still, she refuses to give in.
The guard twists her arm behind her back and slams her forward into the wall. Keeping her pressed against it, he snakes a hand around to grope one of her breasts, rolling her nipple and squeezing it tightly, and Alex sucks in her breath at the sudden pain. She remembers how Olivia used to touch her as they made love, so gently and intimately. She tries to think of that as the correctional officer's rough hands squeeze her breasts, pinching her nipples harshly. She remembers how Olivia touched her breasts, kissing them, cupping them lightly, tweaking her nipples in her tender, playful way. She remembers how adored it always made her feel, the way Olivia touched her as if she was a treasure, murmuring into her skin how beautiful she was, how precious, how special.
She forces the thought away. Olivia will never touch her so gently again. "I'm sorry, sir," she says through clenched teeth. She knows the pain won't stop until she obeys, no matter how much her pride aches as she gives in.
The guard twists her nipples one more time before releasing her breasts and pushing her further into the wall. "That's good there, fish. You're new here, but the sooner you realize that you're my and everyone else's bitch the smoother it will be for me . . . and for you." He chuckles, copping a quick feel before moving down and slipping a latex gloved finger inside her.
Alex swallows the sob that threatens to escape at the violation, and her ears ring with the sound of her heart shattering into a million tiny shards as her promise to Olivia is broken. She doesn't know why it means so much to her now – Olivia knows Alex would never cheat on her, and this isn't her fault, but in a moment of what she considered weakness, Olivia made her promise that no one else would ever touch her like this, and Alex promised, knowing that Olivia had been let down so many times in her life that it was sometimes difficult for her to believe that Alex wouldn't leave her, too. Now, the violation of her body seems also like a violation of her mind, and of her relationship with Olivia. That's the one thing she thought they'd never be able to take from her, but now they have.
"Did that little girl cry when you touched her like this, bitch? Is that what got you off?" The correctional officer forces her open and finishes the cavity search.
Alex tries to think of Olivia again, to imagine it's Olivia's fingers inside of her, giving her pleasure and making her feel loved rather than terrified. She remembers how Olivia always held her afterward, stroking her hair and telling Alex how much she loved her, covering her with kisses and promising forever.
Alex whimpers in pain as the guard pulls out of her. She tries to breathe, but can't help the gasp of surprise as cold water is blasted at her back. She turns quickly and is hit in the face with the stream. She tries to cover herself, to preserve what modesty she has left, but then the guard tosses some powder toward her, and a delousing agent burns Alex for a few moments. Then a cold blast of water assaults her once again.
Alex holds herself upright for a moment, not moving as she tries to regain her composure. She's freezing and hopes that she will be given a towel, but she's not afforded that luxury as she's pushed out into a hallway again. The guard shoves an orange prison jumpsuit into her hands, and Alex is about to put them on – for modesty's sake – when she's pushed into line with several other women. They are naked as well, and the women are herded down the hallway.
Alex's mind screams at her to say something, not to just obey like a sheep, but that guard had frightened her, and she doesn't want his hands on her again. They're taken into a large room filled with other prisoners. Alex's blush fills her whole body at the cat calls, hoots, and hollers being thrown in her direction.
"Quiet!" the correctional officer says, and the women stop talking.
He takes the woman in front by the arms, knocking her clothes to the floor in the process. Alex watches in horror at the abuse these prisoners are receiving. She used to think that these sorts of things only happened in movies, not in real life. Even when Olivia came home once after a tough case, bemoaning the prison system, she shook it off, insisting that these things were rare exceptions and not the norm. Exception or not, this is going to be her life for the next eight years.
"First item up for bids is aggravated robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Bidding will start at four dollars!"
Alex's jaw drops. They are auctioning us off to these women? What the hell is going on?
A woman standing beside Alex voices her thought, and one of the other guards grabs the woman by her hair and says loudly enough for Alex to hear. "We're auctioning off cellies."
Alex turns her head as the correctional officer holding the first woman shouts out, "Sold!" and hands her off to her new cellmate, and what Alex fears in her heart . . . owner.
One by one each woman is sold off, and then it's Alex's turn. One pair of eyes has been raking over her body, appraising and judging it, from the moment Alex entered the room. Alex knows this woman has already claimed. The guard who's led her into the room grabs her and pulls her clothes out of her hands, leaving her completely exposed to the crowd. Alex tries to hide herself but another guard takes her arms and twists them behind her back, displaying her body even more openly/
"And our most valuable piece today, one former prosecutor for the great state of New York. In fact she probably put a few of you in here." He winks at Alex as she gulps in fear. "This one raped a little girl . . . so let's start the bidding at ten dollars."
Alex can tell that these women want to kill her right here and now, but only one hand goes up, the woman who's been staring at her for what seems like an eternity. This woman is white, about the same height as Alex, with dark brown eyes. Her hair is dark but buzzed short so that it's barely visible. The woman's arms, neck, and chest are covered in white supremacist tattoos.
"Anyone else?" The guard watches as no one raises their hands. "Good thing Tanya is in solitary Mason, otherwise she might outbid you. Sold!"
The guard shoves Alex to the floor, and a fresh bruise appears on her arm where he'd been holding her. Still in shock at being sold like an animal or an inanimate objectm Alex finally reaches for her clothes to cover herself up. A foot stops her and a shiver of fear runs up Alex's spine. The foot has fallen on her clothes and Alex pulls her hand away as Mason, now her owner, picks them up and starts toward her – their – cell.
"Come on, bitch. I don't like waiting and I got plans for you. And don't worry even that you are a fucking child rapist, I ain't gonna let anyone kill you. That would be letting you get off easy. Your ass is mine and anyone's I let have you." Mason throws Alex's prison uniform into the cell and drags Alex in with her, shoving her to her knees. "Stay."
Alex's words stick in her throat, so she just nods. Mason leaves for a moment and returns with a bucket full of soapy water. "This cell is filthy and you are going to clean it up. If I'm not satisfied, you will be punished even worse than you're already going to be."
Mason sits down on her bed, watching Alex carefully. Alex wants to protest, but Mason has a good twenty pounds of muscle on her, and that wasn't fat, and Alex knows she doesn't stand a chance. She looks down at the bucket and back at her owner.
"What are you looking at? Get to work, cunt."
Flinching at the insult, Alex glances around for a scrub brush, but doesn't see one. "Um . . . I don't see a brush."
Suddenly, Alex's scalp erupts in flames. She can't quite suppress the cry that escapes her as she reaches back in an attempt to stop the pain. Mason is holding a chunk of her blond hair and twisting it tightly.
"This is your brush, bitch, and next time you better address me correctly. It's master to you. No mistress or ma'am bullshit. I am the master of this house and you're my bitch. So get cleaning." Mason grabs Alex's hair again and shoves it into the bucket, pushing Alex to the ground. "Scrub."
Alex can't help the tears that well up in her eyes as she uses her beautiful hair to clean the dingy cell. The hair that Olivia once said could be mistaken for gold is now a scrub brush. She remembers how Olivia used to run her fingers through Alex's hair, how good it felt, how special it made her feel. She thinks of all the kisses Olivia has planted on her hair, all of the times they would watch movies together and she would lay her head in Olivia's lap and Olivia would stroke her hair. If only Olivia could see her now, see her as the monster she is. She failed Lauren, and she knows that whatever damage Mason does to her is nothing compared to the damage Damien Anderson is inflicting upon his daughter now. Alex can only hope that Olivia will do as Alex asked in her letter and move on, find someone who can love her fully and be there for Olivia, as she deserves, and forget about Alex. She deserves a life of her own and she deserves happiness, and Alex knows she can't provide either of those things for Olivia.
After awhile, Alex's skin is glistening with perspiration and her face is red and puffy from crying. Stopping a moment to catch her breath, Alex notices that she has badly frayed her hair. Some would call it vanity, and maybe they're right – Alex has always loved her beautiful golden tresses – but with her hair, she feels like she's lost a tenuous connection to Olivia.
"Look at what you did to your hair, you whore. Can't you do anything right? The floor is still disgusting and your brush is ruined. Get up and come with me." Mason throws Alex an old, holey wife beater shirt that stretches to her thighs. "Put this on. You haven't earned the right to wear those clothes yet."
Mason pushes Alex out of the cell and toward a guard. "Hey, Tony. This bitch needs a haircut. She keeps beggin' for one. Can we go to the barber shop?"
Tony looks Alex up and down, smirking. He can already see that Mason has claimed and broken Alex. "Yeah, why not? The girl's hair is disgusting. What did you make her do, clean the toilet with it?"
"No, but damn I should have. Just got done cleaning our cell floor. Didn't have a brush so we improvised. I said we should go ask for one but she wanted to use that pretty hair of hers." Mason snickers.
Alex wants to scream that she didn't want to scrub the floor, that she doesn't want to wear the ratty wife beater shirt, that she doesn't want to get her hair cut, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't have any control right now, and her hair is ruined anyway. It's not like it won't grow back over the next eight years.
Suddenly, she remembers something she learned when she was studying the Holocaust in high school – Jewish prisoners in concentration camps often had their heads shaved, and sometimes their hair grew back in a different color than it had been before. The thought makes Alex's stomach clench and she wants to beg her owner to let her keep her hair, but she knows it won't do her any good. She can't imagine her hair growing in a different colour, but really, it's just hair. Protecting her body from the pain she's sure Mason will readily inflict upon her is more important than maintaining a shred of dignity.
They arrive at the barber shop and Mason pushes Alex into a chair, then tells the guard to lock her in. As the guard cuffs her, Mason bends down to whisper in her ear, "Well, pet, your first punishment will be losing these ugly little locks. We are gonna shave you bald."
Alex's body tightens and she starts to struggle against her restraints. She hasn't really thought they would shave her bald, just trim the damaged areas. A hard slap from Mason convinces her to stop fighting, and tears leak from her eyes as her cellmate and master grabs her chin, forcing Alex's gaze onto hers.
"Get this fucking straight. You have no choice and the more you fight it the worse it will get. This is part one of your punishment and it is light. In fact I want you to thank me for allowing you to get a haircut."
Alex refuses to. She had some fight in her and she's not going to thank the woman in front of her. She won't beg or thank her master for the abuse.
Mason slaps her again and Alex sees stars. No one has ever hit her before today, and she's more humiliated than she's ever been in her life. And it hurts, more than she thought it would.
"Say it!"
Alex shakes her head, but she feels her defenses weakening. "No," she whispers, and Mason can see that she's starting to break.
Mason hits her again, harder this time, and Alex's head snaps back with the force of the blow. "Do you want to be punished again?"
Alex swallows hard and says so softly that she's barely audible, "Thank you, Master." She just wants this to be over.
Mason grabs her arm and squeezes it so tightly that Alex gasps at the pain. "Louder."
Alex blinks back her tears. "T-thank you, Master."
Mason nods slightly. "Better." She grabs an electric razor and starts to shave Alex's head. "After I make you look like you should, I'm going to punish you more when we get back to my cell. That will teach you to obey right away for next time. Since you are now my property, you will be tattooed," Mason says, finishing with Alex's hair and dropping the razor.
"Yes, Master," Alex whispers. Agree for now and fight later. She's too tired to fight now. She glances at herself in the mirror and doesn't recognize Alex Cabot. She's starting to look like the monster everyone thinks she is.