Summary: This is really sad…. Do I really still have to type this?? …. Sasuke and Naruto fought again and Sasuke gets sick, so Naruto brings him back to Konoha, in the hopes that he'll want to stay.
Warning: Yaoi (SasuNaru), cursing, and maybe suggestive stuff later on… spoilers and OOCness… Awkwardness (u know I love me some awkwardness!) and uh Naruto's the jerk and Sasuke's the lonely confused person… haha, I'm so mean to them :P
Disclaimer: I don't think Naruto would be very happy if I owned him…. He'd probably get sick of all the .:cough:. Things .:cough:. I'd make him do with Sasuke…. But I think Sasuke would like it!! :)
Chapter 11: Must we go there?
Why won't you speak to me?
Why won't you look at me?
Why don't you say anything?
I can feel it in my chest again, that familiar hurt… that hurt I get when you hurt….
You keep standing there, is it my fault? Is it my fault you're so sad?
I can't take that expression on your face… I put it there… I know I did…
Please tell me…
Blame me…
I want to know…
"Naruto say something…"
Naruto… talk to me…
Tell me it's my fault…
Please…
"Naruto…"
"Yes?"
Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at Naruto hazily. He felt sore all over and couldn't remember why.
"What?" he asked confused, his voice cracking from lack of use.
"You called my name… what do you want?"
Sasuke blinked, he called Naruto's name? He felt confused and it gave him a headache to think about it…
"Say something Naruto… Naruto…"
Sasuke widened his eyes when he remembered his dream. He could feel the blood rushing to his face and he looked away from Naruto, embarassed.
"Bad dream?" Naruto asked, being too kind to mention Sasuke's blush.
"Hn…"
"Well if you're ok I'm going to lay down for a little while…"
Sasuke looked at him, did Naruto not want to be with him? Did Naruto actually hate him?
"Naruto...?"
Naruto blinked at the pained expression on Sasuke's face, he couldn't understand why he looked like that, but he didn't like that look.
"What's wrong Sasuke?" Naruto sighed
"Why are you leaving?"
Naruto blinked again. "…Sasuke I'm not leaving you… I just… you know… have sort of a… you know… hangover… and yeah…I want to sleep it off…"
Sasuke stared at Naruto intently. "A hangover?"
"You mean you don't remember?"
Flash. Naruto walking towards him drunk.
Flash. "Care to join us teme?"
Flash. Naruto yelling at him.
Flash. "The teme doesn't have a home remember?...REMEMBER THAT TEME!!"
Flash. He snapped.
Flash. "Naruto shut up!"
Flash. "…you don't know what I came to say… you don't know how I felt… how I feel…"
Flash. He collapsed onto the floor.
Flash. "Don't leave me Sasuke!"
Flash. Everything was dark…
"Oh…" was all he could manage to say after he remembered the events of last night. Everything from Naruto and Sai hugging, to Naruto leaning in too close, Naruto kissed Sai, Naruto yelled at him, Naruto begged him to wake up…
"Yeah, Oh…" Naruto repeated and stood up from a chair he'd set up next to the bed.
Sasuke didn't get it. Naruto was acting so distant, like he was hurting sitting there by Sasuke.
Sasuke sat stunned at the retreating back. He listened as he heard the crunch of the couch when Naruto sat down. He couldn't understand.
Was Naruto mad at him for collapsing, mad at him for what he told him, was he still mad from before?
Why won't you speak to me?
Why won't you look at me?
Why don't you say anything?
Sasuke clutched at his chest as he so often did when he felt the pain come up. He could still see clearly the Naruto's retreating back…
I can feel it in my chest again, that familiar hurt… that hurt I get when you hurt….
You keep standing there, is it my fault? Is it my fault you're so sad?
I can't take that expression on your face… I put it there… I know I did…
"It's all my fault… Naruto…" Sasuke gripped the shirt at his chest tighter and could feel water swell into his eyes.
Please tell me…
Blame me…
I want to know…
"Naruto say something…"
Naruto… talk to me…
Tell me it's my fault…
Please…
"Naruto…"
"Just you wait Naruto… as soon as I can move again I'm going to fix it… I'll fix it so you won't be sad anymore…" Sasuke stared at the door with absolute determination and started trying to move his legs.
….
"Sai you better tell me right now damnit!" Sasuke shouted gripping Sai's shirt (A/N: SHIRT!? You call that a shirt!?)
"Sasuke I don't know what you're talking about…" Sai said one eye brow raised on his other wise blank face.
"I mean Naruto! What'd you do to him after I was knocked out!?" Sasuke demanded, already feeling weak from his movements.
He probably shouldn't have moved for another 5 or 6 hours, but he wasn't going to wait anymore, not when Naruto wouldn't look at him… not when Naruto wouldn't speak to him… not when Naruto looked like he was in so much pain… because of him…
"Tell me what happened to Naruto, Sai… please…" Sasuke begged, letting go of his pride for what felt like the millionth time since Naruto had come to get him months ago.
"Honestly Sasuke if you want answers that badly you're going to have to be more specific…"
"Specific!?" Sasuke shouted bewildered. "Specific about what!? What other instance could I be talking about!? Last night Sai!? After I passed out! What happened to Naruto!? Why won't he look at me!? Why won't he speak to me!? Why is he hurting so damn much Sai!? Why!! Tell me why damnit!!"
Sai blinked and smiled slightly at Sasuke. This wasn't the Sasuke they'd described to him, this wasn't the Sasuke that broke bonds, this was the one trying to save them.
"No Sai damnit! I broke the bond, now give me back my damn drink!"
Sai frowned. Naruto had already been upset before the incident. Sasuke knew that, so why did he think that…
"Oh…" Sai thought out loud after a while, "You want to know about that…"
"That?" Sasuke asked confused grabbing onto Sai's shirt (A/N: .:cough:.) again.
Sai smirked at Sasuke and Sasuke finally understood.
"You knew all along what I was talking about… You had every intention of telling me…" Sasuke looked up and glared at Sai, "You just wanted to know what kind of price you could lay on it…"
….
Naruto really had no idea why Sasuke left the instant he could stand up on his own but he didn't mind. He wanted… no he needed his space anyway and was almost glad he'd left.
He lay back on the couch and shifted to make himself more comfortable. He knew it wasn't fair, and he knew he'd regret it later, but he needed to push Sasuke away right now.
He sighed and stared at the ceiling.
He really was being unfair towards Sasuke's feelings, now that he thought about it, he hadn't really considered how Sasuke would feel about the distancing.
Tsunade had said he'd need to be helped, he'd need Naruto more than ever when he woke up from collapsing but he just couldn't… he couldn't talk to Sasuke not after what he'd said after…. After what he did to Sasuke after he collapsed…. What he did….
Naruto shook his head, "No, I can't think of that right now, I can't."
Naruto sighed again, "Man I'm such an idiot…"
Yeah you kind of are Kit… Now tell me something I don't know
"Damnit Kyuubi… please go away…"
Kit you said you loved him, why are you so determined to push him away?
"Because Kyuubi."
That's not an answer Kit, tell me why, if you love him so much, you're so willing to let him go…
"It's not that simple Kyuubi…"
Then explain it to me Kit…
"I have to let him go because I love him…"
….
"So what is it that you want from me?" Sasuke asked narrowing his eyes at Sai.
"Are you really that pathetically determined to find out what happened?" Sai asked a small smirk still on his lips.
"It's not pathetic, it's hurting Naruto and I want to fix it…" Sasuke spat.
"So the real question is what what do you want to do for me?"
….
Naruto slammed a couch pillow onto his head but decided it wasn't helping and stood up.
"Damn hangover…" he muttered angrily to himself.
Your own fault for drinking so damn much last night Kit…
"I didn't mean to get so carried away Kyuubi!"
Naruto walked into his room where Sasuke had been until recently.
"Wonder where he went…" Naruto said, more to himself than Kyuubi.
Probably off being moody, I swear you and him are more alike then you realize…
"Oh put a sock in it Kyuubi, who cares what you think…"
Naruto sat on his bed and threw his feet up. He layed down and rolled to bury his face in the pillow.
"It smells of you Sasuke…" he whispered as he inhaled the scent. "Please come home soon…"
….
"I don't want to give you anything Sai, but Naruto needs me to so I will…"
Sai's smirk widened, "Good…"
….
Naruto continued to inhale the scent of the pillow. It smelled so sweetly of Sasuke and Naruto couldn't help but stay there. He knew when Sasuke came back he'd probably want to sleep, in 'his' bed, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to get up and move back to the couch.
He still had a lingering headache but he found he could for the most part ignore it if he thought of other things, and the thing currently occupying his mind…
Naruto narrowed his eyes into the pillow, but the glare faded and he closed his eyes…
Yes he couldn't escape it… what he'd done to Sasuke… Sasuke couldn't ever know… Naruto wouldn't tell him… Sasuke would be better off if he never knew… what Naruto had… done… No… We mustn't go there… we must never go there… he must never know… what … I've… done….
Anybody who'd entered the room for the next few hours would fine a poor blond dobe, frowning in his sleep….
….
"Please…"
Naruto looked up at Sai, "Sai do something, we got to get him back to my place!"
"Calm down Naruto, we'll get him there, he'll be ok, trust me…" Sai smiled at Naruto and Naruto tried, and failed, to return it.
"I just worry about him is all…"
Sai's smile widened, "I know… but you really should tell him…"
"I know I should…" Naruto replied softly, "But as you already pointed out… I'm terrified… I'm so afraid to tell him…"
"Just say it Naruto… He needs to know…"
Naruto sighed and stared at Sasuke pain apparent in his eyes. Sai could see the water begin to form for a second time in Naruto's eyes as he leaned in closer to Sasuke.
"Come on Sasuke… I'll get you home…"
Sai stared at Naruto waiting patiently, knowing how important it was for Naruto to say it, even if Sasuke couldn't hear it.
"Because… Sasuke… I…" Naruto paused and leaned in closer to Sasuke's face, so their noses were almost touching.
"Sasuke I love you… so much I don't think I can stand it…" and with that Naruto kissed Sasuke gently on the lips and held him close to his own body.
"Now let's get you home…" he said finally.
….
"Now I expect you to keep your end of the deal…" Sai said.
Sasuke's shock was apparent, but it didn't seem so totally unexpected. He figured Naruto liked him… he knew somewhere inside that it was true… but Naruto said it… Naruto admitted it and Naruto…
Sasuke brought his hand up to his lips and tried to imagine the warmth Naruto's lips would have brought to them… how soft… how sweet he would have tasted….
Sasuke blinked and shoock his head.
Sai smirked knowingly at Sasuke, "Now about your end of the deal…"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and glared at Sai, taking his hand away from his face. "You're a bastard…"
Sai's smirk widened further, "So I've been told…"
My longest chapter yet (I didn't think It'd be longer than the last one o.O but here it is) and yeah sorry that so much happened, I just really wanted all this to happen so I could move on in the story (we've reached a new beginning and I'm very very happy!!)
Ok I realize this chapter has lots of slanty words… sorry… So yeah, they're there for dreams, memories, flashbacks, and flashbacks/memories of dreams… and yeah Sasuke is really OOC… but Tsunade did warn us that Sasuke would be really off when he woke up from collapsing! (I only put that in 'cause I knew I'd eventually want him out of wack…) either that or he's spurred into action by love!! .:sighs:. Wishful thinking…
Anyway, thanks as usual to my reviewers etc.
SasoriXreborN – Yay I'm glad you remembered (you've no idea how many hours were spent trying to figure out who to make the figure be --)
Freexflyer – haha, I really thought I was the only one that did that anymore! (I really do actually do that… my friends and family keep giving me funny looks --) and sorry I didn't make them do anything, Sasuke was too busy being unconcious and Sai was too busy giving himself mental high fives for getting kissed by Naruto ;) oh and you really don't scare me, I love your reviews, they really make my days :)
Izolda – yay, keep your excitement, and I hope this satisfied you! :)
Shashuko the Paisley Maiden – U know how I love me some awkwardness! And lol, yeah, that's also why I'm safe and drug/alchohol free (I'm already that crazy without any help…) and an asprin would be a good idea… :P
Mindless Instinct – glad you liked the idea! :)