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EPOV

The past few weeks since the kidnapping and our engagement had passed quietly. In the end up Bella cancelled Carson's birthday party as she didn't want all those people around. She was still worried about Carson being too far from her.

We ended up having a dinner party just for the family instead. Ben and Angela came to. It was also the day Renee and Bella spoke for the first time.

Flashback

Bella's phone buzzed along the counter and I checked to see who it was. Renee.

"Baby it's your mom. Do you want to answer it?" I asked her.

She nodded and took the phone from my hand. She answered it and put it on speaker.

"Bella, thank god you answered. How are you honey it's been so long since we've talked"

"That's what happens when you abandon your family mom. You enjoying your new life with what's his name?"she sneered.

"Please don't do this. I didn't abandon you. I just couldn't live like that any more. I wasn't happy honey. How's Carson?"

"Fine. Confused as to why he hasn't seen you but he's also not asking for you as much."

"Is he … has he forgotten about me?" she asked sounding heartbroken.

"Not yet but he will. That's what happens when you leave a two year old. It's fine though. He has Esme." Bella answered and I cringed.

I knew she was just trying to hurt her mom but I also believed that one day she would regret it.

"Esme isn't his grandmother. I am" Renee stated fiercely.

"She will be soon enough. To be a grandparent you have to be involved in the child's life. As far as I'm concerned you lost that right when you walked out of our lives."

"What do you mean she will be? Are you and Edward getting married?" she asked.

Bella and I just looked at each other. Chances were if she said yes Renee could possibly speak to Charlie and we hadn't told anyone. Bella was wearing her ring on a long chain around her neck under her clothes.

"We will someday. Look mom, I'm busy. I'm making dinner for our family to celebrate Carson's birthday. What was it you were so desperate to talk to me about?" she asked harshly.

"I just wanted to know how you were, maybe speak to Carson too. I miss you guys. I'm still your mom Bella. I want things to be okay with us. You guys could come and visit. We're staying in Florida on the beach. You would love it here. So would Carson." she sniffled into the phone.

"We're fine. Carson is napping just now and I don't think it would be a good idea for you to speak to him anyway. It'll just confuse him. As for the rest, I just can't right now. It's too soon. I have to go mom." she said quietly and I took her hand and kissed the back of it.

I could see she was getting close to breaking down.

"Okay. Well call me when you can. I miss you and I love you both so much." Renee was crying now.

Bella was on the verge.

"Bye mom." she clicked the phone off and crumpled into my chest.

Flashback End

There were four days left until Christmas. Bella and I were leaving Carson with Charlie and heading to Seattle for the day to do some Christmas shopping. We were going to look at a few things for the wedding as well, but obviously no-one knew that. Bella had to stop wearing the necklace after Alice commented on the way she was wearing it. Bella made out she wore it underneath her top to keep Carson from grabbing it but we knew Alice would only buy that for so long.

We were leaving early what with the long drive so we took Carson over to Charlie at ten. This would be the longest she had left him since that day and she was nervous about it. Charlie promised again that they would be fine, they were going as far as my parents house and that was it.

We got to Seattle just before eleven and went to places Bella had found online to look at wedding stuff. We had decided on a wedding date of April twenty third. My attorney told us my divorce should be final by the end of January, so it gave us another almost three months if that wasn't the case.

Bella wanted everything to be simple and classic. She was only going to have one bridesmaid, Angela. Emmett would be my best man. Carson would be ring bearer and we would have him walk down the aisle with Angela.

We looked at flowers, invitations and we looked at a few suits for Em and I. We got our Christmas shopping, grabbed some food and headed home. We got back to Forks around nine and called Charlie to see where he was.

"Hi dad, we're home. Where are you guys?" Bella asked.

"I'm at home but I left Carson at the Cullen's. Can you guys come here before you go pick him up. There's someone here to see you." Charlie answered.

We looked at each other in confusion.

"Who is it dad?"

"Jacob. He's home for the holidays." he growled into the phone.

"I told him you wouldn't be back until late and may not even want to see him but he insisted he had to talk to you. Esme is going to get Carson ready for bed and she said you guys can stay there tonight if you don't want to leave him. Just make your way here."

"Okay dad. Bye."

"What do you think he wants? The paperwork has gone through. He has no right to see Carson. Do you think that's it? He's changed his mind?" she asked.

"I don't know baby. We'll go and see." I answered hoping it was nothing to do with that.

We pulled up at Charlies and Bella took my hand as we walked inside.

"Hey Bella," Jacob said with a small smile which dropped when he saw me.

"I thought you would have came alone. Not that it matters."

"Jacob get to the point. What is it you want to talk to me about?" she asked as she sat on the couch and pulled me down with her.

Charlie was in his recliner and Jacob was on the other sofa.

"I came back to see my dad for the holidays but I kind of brought someone with me. I've met someone. She's, she's everything to me. I love her. Thing is, she's pregnant. I'm going to be a father again. I'll be living on the Makah reservation permanently now." he looked nervous.

"And you feel the need to tell me this why?" she asked.

"I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I can make things work, how I can be a father to both of my children and I just can't see a way. I talked a lot with my sponsor up there and my father and I've came to a decision. I'm going to terminate my parental rights to Carson. Let Edward adopt him." he looked at his feet.

I looked at Bella and saw tears in her eyes as he face paled and her jaw dropped. Charlie was so red with rage I thought he was going to pop an artery. Before any of them got a word in I spoke. I couldn't help it.

"So you're saying you have a new family so you're just going to ignore your son? Are you really that much of a selfish bastard?" I snarled at him.

"It's really best all round. You and Bella can give him a better life than I ever could. I thought by giving him to you I'd be doing the best thing for him."

I was furious.

"So you're just giving him away like a fucking puppy? You're an asshole. I thought you were bad before but this takes the cake. I can't even listen to you. People like you don't deserve kids. You should have gotten sterilised and saved any more kids having you as a parent. How long before you abandon this one?" I spat at him.

I stood and walked over to the window. I couldn't even look at him, I wanted to drag him out of the seat and kill him.

Bella surprised me.

"Is that all?" she asked.

He nodded at her looking unsure.

"Fine. He's better off without you anyway. Edward has been more of a father to him in the short time he has known him than you have been his whole life. I sincerely hope this woman knows what she's getting herself into. You are a miserable excuse for a man and I am done. Get the papers drawn up and sent to me. Goodbye Jacob. I'll call you tomorrow dad."

And with that she pulled me by the hand and walked to the front door. I looked back in time to see Charlie punch Jacob in the jaw and then tell him to leave. As we pulled out of the driveway I saw Jacob sit on the porch steps with his head in his hands.

Bella was quiet the whole way to my parents but slapped on a smile as soon as my mom opened the front door. She told my parents she was tired and headed up to check on Carson. I said good night and followed.

I went into the room where Carson was and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Love you buddy," I said as I fixed the blanket he had pushed down.

I went to my old room to find Bella already in bed. I stripped down to my boxers and got in beside her. She was facing away from me so I pulled her so that her back was against my chest. She moved away from me. I sat up and looked down at her, just able to see her through the dark and no more.

"Are you okay baby?"

"Yeah I'm fucking perfect. Can you just let me sleep?" she spat at me.

I moved away from her staring at her back in the dark. I couldn't believe she had just spoken to me like that. After a few minutes I heard her breathing get deeper and I thought she was asleep.

I turned away from her hoping she just needed some rest. I slept on and off but woke frequently during the night as Bella would be mumbling in her sleep or thrashing around like she was having a nightmare. Every time I tried to comfort she would pull away from me and turn back over to sleep. I got up around five to get some coffee as I knew there was no chance I was getting back to sleep.

My dad was already up having breakfast before he left for his shift.

"Morning son. Everything okay you don't look so good?" he asked as he poured me some coffee.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep so good and I can't get back to sleep now. Mom still in bed?" I asked as I sipped my drink.

"Yeah. She'll probably be up soon though. She'll want to make breakfast for Bella, Carson and you. When is Bella returning to work?"

She still hadn't wanted to leave Carson so Luciana had given her an extended leave due to what happened. We had talked about it and she had briefly seen a therapist and it was decided that if yesterday had gone good she would spend another few days over the holidays without him and then return to work after the new year.

"January third I think. I'm not sure. She was really good yesterday though. She only called Charlie twice and one of those was to find out where they were when we got back."

"That's good son. I'd better go. You sure there's nothing else bothering you Edward? You really don't look so good." he looked concerned.

"I'm fine dad. Have a good day."

He said goodbye and left. I had a really uneasy feeling in my stomach and I didn't know why. It seems it wasn't unfounded though.

By the second week in January I was going out of my mind trying to figure out what I had done wrong. The few days leading up to Christmas Bella decided to go into work to help with the holiday rush. She put Carson back in daycare and had Charlie take him in the mornings instead of my mom.

She missed my parents holiday party because Carson had a cold and she didn't want to leave him. I spent the night alone upstairs at my parents because I couldn't bear to be there alone surrounded by couples, while I knew somewhere inside, I was losing my family.

On Christmas day the plan had been that Bella and I would spend the morning at home with Carson, go to my parents for the afternoon and dinner and then we would leave Carson there and we would open our presents to each other and spend some time together, just the two of us. In reality Bella stayed the night at Charlie's on Christmas eve, spent the morning there, arrived at my parents at two left at six and told me she would be spending the night with Charlie again. When I asked why I got screamed at and told I was being selfish for expecting her to leave her dad alone at Christmas.

She worked in between Christmas and new years and when she wasn't with her dad she was with Angela. I had barely spent more than a couple of hours with her since that day in Seattle. I knew it was obviously something to with the bomb Jacob dropped but I didn't know what because she wouldn't talk to me. I hadn't seen Carson since Christmas.

New years eve we were supposed to go to a party at Emmett and Rosalie's. Again Charlie was used as an excuse for her not being able to go. The past two weeks I had seen her a handful of times and each time there was always someone else there. She made sure of that. If I asked her to come over or if I went over there she wouldn't come or wouldn't answer her door. My mom suggested giving her some time but it was so hard. By this time I had enough.

I tried yet again to call her. Voicemail.

"Hi, this is Bella. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Bye!" her voice said cheerfully through the phone.

It made my heart ache for her.

"Bella, baby, it's me. I really don't know what I've done wrong but I know it must be something really bad for you to be acting like this. Please call me or text me or something. If you don't want to marry me please just tell me because I can't go on like this. I feel like my heart is being ripped out. I miss you so, so much and Carson, damn, I didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much. Please, please contact me. I love you."

I hung the phone up and collapsed onto my bed. I had to hope that at sometime soon my girl would come back to me.

Characters not mine.