Thank you for all reviews. Still a bit more angst to go:(

I felt like a walking corpse. Everyday had the same routine. Get up, go to work, pick Carson up, put on a brave face while my son asked for the man who didn't want him, dinner bath and bed.

I couldn't believe that I had trusted Edward with my son and he had thrown it back in my face. I would have thought it would be the answer to our prayers, Jacob bowing out. Give us a chance to be the family Edward spoke of.

Christmas had been dismal, new years I was in bed by nine. I dreaded to think of valentines day, which was around the corner. I looked at the calendar January 21st. Twenty one days into the new year that had once held so much promise. I looked at my night stand, to the little black velvet box that held my ring, which brought on a fresh batch of tears.

How pathetic was I? Friday night and I'm in bed by eight thirty. It's like I can't function properly without him. I wondered how he was. He sounded upset on the voice mail he left me earlier but it was probably just because his family would be giving him a hard time.

I was wallowing when I heard a knock at the front door. I crawled out of bed and looked out my window to see Angela's car. Poor Angela had been listening to me crying for the past month and she didn't even know why. Just that Edward had caused it.. I went downstairs to let her in.

"Oh honey," she sighed and pulled me into a hug.

We went into the living room and put the lamp and tv on. She disappeared and came back with two wine glasses and pulled a bottle out of her bag.

"Okay. I've had enough." she stated firmly. "You can't go on like this Bella. Especially when Edward's doing just about as badly as you are. Now I've tip toed around you since before Christmas, well no more. I want to know what he said or done that has made you like this. You look ill and it can't go on any longer. Now spill." she demanded as she handed me a glass of white wine.

I told her word for word the little speech he made at my dads.

"And?" she asked looking confused.

"And? He basically said that he didn't want Carson which translates to he doesn't want me. He can't have one without the other!" I practically yelled at her.

"Bella, I don't think that's what he meant at all. Think about what he said. I think he's just upset at the fact Jacob is walking away as if Carson means nothing, like he doesn't matter. Weren't you angry at him rejecting your son for some other woman's kid? All because he doesn't want to be inconvenienced to visit his son? I think you've taken it all wrong." she said.

"I don't think so. Think about it. As long as Carson is Jacobs legally there's nothing holding Edward to him. He can leave whenever he wants. If he legally adopts Carson he's stuck." I sniffled.

"Jesus Bella!" Angela huffed out angrily. "Do you think that lowly of him? Do you honestly think the guy who was there for you when Jacob was giving you shit, who drove over here after midnight because Jacob pitched up on your doorstep, who helped organise search parties and sat in your fathers house for hours waiting to hear that you were okay, who stayed with you in your hospital bed and who has been there in every way you've needed him could treat you two like that?

Come on Bella, you're smarter than that.!" she cried.

"You don't know, you didn't hear him." I huffed angrily.

She stared at me and then slowly shook her head.

"You know what Bella, I'm done. If you actually think that Edward could behave like that then maybe you didn't deserve him in the first place but you know what? One if these days you will realise how wrong you've been, And when you do and it's too late, you lose him and you have no-one to blame but yourself. Call me when my friend comes back." she stood and left quietly.

I was stunned Angela had never spoken to me like that before. Could she be right? No, I know what I heard. Plus, the times I had seen Edward he didn't look all that cut up. Tired maybe, but that's it.

I shook my head and went to bed. The next morning I wrapped Carson up and let him out to play in the backyard. It was cold but it was dry for a change. I sat on the back porch watching him. I heard a knock on the door and thought it might be Angela. I called Carson over and brought him inside while I answered it. I was shocked to see who was here.

It was Rosalie.

"Hi, can I come in?" she asked.

"Um, sure." I stood to the side to let her in.

"Can I get you a drink or something?" I asked as I headed back towards the kitchen where Carson was patiently waiting to go back outside. The minute he saw who was with me his little face lit up.

"Rolee!" he squealed and launched himself at her.

"Hey little man! How are you?"

"Otay. I pway in the back" he pointed to the backyard.

"Really? Wow! Aren't you cold?" she asked.

"No. I have a jasket. Where Ewa?" he asked looking behind her as though he expected him to be behind her.

"Edward's sick baby. Why don't we go back outside?" she asked looking at me for approval.

I nodded and we headed outside. She played with Carson for a few minutes before she came to sit with me on the porch.

"Well I see there's no point in asking how you are. You look as much like shit as Edward does. What's going on Bella? One minute you two are like love's young dream, the next it's like you can't bear to be in the same room as Edward while he follows you around like a lost puppy. I haven't seen either of you since Christmas and Edward spends the majority of his time in his room. He hasn't even bothered to move into his house even though it's been ready for a week. What happened?" she asked softly.

I told her the whole story of what happened at my dad's that night and then what had happened the night before with Angela.

"So basically he changed his mind and I'm the one coming off as the bitch" I sniffled. "and I bet all of you hate me too." I cried.

She wrapped her arm around my back and pulled my head onto her shoulder.

"Sweetie, I think you got this all wrong. I know for a fact that Edward adores that little boy as though he were his own. Heck, we all do. Esme is beside herself. I had to come here today to stop her from coming over,. She's desperate to see you both. And honestly, I've never seen Edward worse off. It''s like he's dead inside. The only time he leaves his room is to work. He's not eating or sleeping properly. Does that sound to you like someone who's relieved he got out of a situation?"

"No, but why would he act that way then?" I sniffled.

"Because you two mean the world to him, are his world. He was probably just pissed that someone would treat you two so badly. If someone was horrible to Edward wouldn't you be angry?" she asked.

"I suppose." I answered grudgingly.

"Look Bella, the only person who can give you answers is Edward. You won't know either way until you speak to him. And until then you two will be in this limbo which isn't doing either of you any good. Will you at least think about it?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Okay. When you decide, if you decide to talk to him, if you need the little one watched give me a call. If you don't speak to him still give me a call okay?" she stood.

I stood too. She pulled me into a hug.

"You stay here, I'll show myself out. Bye Carson," she called.

He ran over and she bent to hug him.

"See you soon?" he asked.

"Of course buddy. You be good for your mommy," she ruffled his hair and left.

Had I really been that wrong?

I thought of nothing else while I got Carson his dinner, bathed him and put him to bed and I came to a conclusion. The only way I was going to know anything was to speak to Edward.

I waited until the next morning and called Rosalie. I asked her to come over and watch Carson. As soon as she arrived I jumped in my car and drove to the Cullens. Instead of Edward I was greeted by Alice.

"Can I help you?" she asked coldly.

"I need to speak to Edward." I said firmly.

"Haven't you done enough? Or are you here just to break him a bit more? Because if that's the case you can just leave now." she pointed to my car.

"I'm not here to fight with him, I just need to talk to him."

She stood to the side to let me past and as soon as I was inside she slammed the door closed.

"He's in his room, as always." she spat and then stomped into the kitchen.

I headed upstairs and knocked on his door.

"Alice will you just leave me alone" he sounded so broken.

"It's not Alice." I answered as I opened the door.

He didn't speak when he saw me he just stared. Neither of us said a word for a minute but it seemed like so much longer.

"What is it Bella?" he asked me icily.

"We need to talk." I said quietly.

"Yeah, I've been trying to get that point across for a month. Is this you here to put me out of my misery? To finally tell me it's over," he spat.

"No. I just wanted to ask you something. Why did you act the way you did that night at my dad's? Why did you tell me all those things if you didn't mean them?" I asked shakily.

I knew the tears weren't far away.

"What are you talking about?" he asked and I could see he was getting angry.

"You went on about us being a family, you, me and Carson. You talked about how our life would be together. You promised you'd always be there for him. Then when Jacob finally gets out of the way it's like you changed you're mind. Why did you do that?" I asked.

"Changed my … what are you talking about?" he asked now looking angry and confused.

"Well you didn't seem overly enthusiastic to pick up the reins when Jacob dropped them at your feet did you? You all but gave him Carson to take with him! Were you hoping to guilt him into sticking around?" I yelled at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he yelled.

Edward had never yelled at me.

"How many times did I tell you I wanted him to be mine? Huh? How many fucking times did I tell you I wanted to marry you? And you pull this shit! You did this to us Isabella. No-one else. You pushed me away, pushed my family away so don't try and fucking turn this shit on me!" he screamed at me.

"What in the hell is going on in here?" Carlisle yelled from the door. "I could hear you two from the front door."

"Nothing dad. You know what Bella think what you want," he said angrily as he stalked over to his night stand.

He picked up an envelope and threw it at me.

"This is how much I wanted Carson out of my life," he snarled and charged out of the room.

I opened the envelope and my heart shattered when I looked inside. It was adoption papers for Carson.

I didn't even realise I was crying until Carlisle pulled me into his arms. I sobbed against his chest as he held me tightly. Eventually I calmed down and went into Edwards bathroom to wash my face. When I came out Carlisle was sitting on his bed. He smiled sadly at me.

"How you holding up?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I should go. Rose has Carson." I mumbled and headed for the door.

"I'll drive you. It's not safe for you to drive when your this upset honey." Carlisle said as he took my keys from my hand.

I nodded and followed him downstairs and out to his car. We drove to my house in silence. When we pulled up outside I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Thanks Carlisle. I'll get my dad to pick my truck up later."

"No need sweetie. I'll bring it by later. Esme will follow me." he smiled at me.

"Thank you. Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, Edward hates me right now and-"

"Bella, he doesn't hate you. That boy worships the ground you walk on. With all you two have been through something like this was bound to happen. You need to talk things out instead of screaming at each other. What you two have is special, you just have to decide if it's worth fighting for."

I nodded and left the car. When I got inside Rosalie took one look at me and ushered me into the kitchen where she hugged me while I cried. I was surprised I had any tears left.

"What happened?" she asked.

I couldn't speak so I showed her the envelope.

"Oh Bella. Where is he?"

"I don't know. We ended up yelling at each other then Carlisle came in and stopped us. Edward threw these at me and left. Carlisle brought me home." I sobbed.

"Look, Carson shouldn't see you like this. What if I take him home with me and you call Angela to come over? I can keep him until tomorrow and bring him home on the morning."

"That would be great. Thank you for being here Rosalie. I'm sure Edward wouldn't like that. You are his family after all," I sniffled.

"Bella, Edward was the one who asked me to come over yesterday. He was worried about you and didn't want his mom coming over and overwhelming you. We all care about you. Now you sit here. I'll go get some of Carson's things together." she hugged me again and headed out of the kitchen.

Carson wandered in.

"You cwy momma?" he asked looking worried.

"I'm okay baby. Do you want to sleepover with Rosalie and Emmett?" I asked in fake excitement.

"Yay!" he clapped his hands together.

We went out to the living room and Rosalie came down with his things.

"I'll call you later and check in okay?" she asked.

"Thanks again Rose," I smiled.

"No problem. If you need anything just call." she smiled sadly.

"Bye buddy, you have a good night okay?"

He nodded enthusiastically and after some hugs and kisses they left. I sat on the couch for a while just staring at the papers. I don't know how long I sat there but after a while I realised it was dark. I got up and put the light on just as my phone rang. It was Rose.

"You doing okay? You need me to come back over?" she asked in a rush.

"No I'm fine. I spaced for a while so I'm just going to call Angela now. How's my boy?"

"He's fine. Him and Emmett are on the floor playing with his cars right now. I'm just making dinner. You sure you don't need me? I can leave the children here." she offered.

"No it's fine. I owe Angela an apology anyway. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay hon. I'll see you in the morning. Remember, anything, just call."

"Okay Rose. Thank you, Bye."

"Bye Bella."

I wandered into the kitchen to get some water and grab my phone. I walked into the living room and saw headlights in my driveway. It was my car. I walked to the door to thank Carlisle but when I opened it instead of Carlisle's blue eyes I saw my green eyes.

"Can I come in?"

So Edward's at her door, what happens next? Hopefully will update in a few days.

As always, characters not mine!