Descargo: de responsabilidad Megan dice que no cuenta propia muerte en algo pais. Lo siento. (Disclaimer: Megan says I don't own death note in any country. I'm sorry)

Chapter 12 Realizations

I stood poised at the front door, the key in the lock, contemplating rather than actually unlocking the door and letting myself in. I dropped to my knees groaning. Why was I doing this again?

Because you told L you would.

And why did I do that exactly?

Because you're shallow and want to impress him.

Ugh. Why was I so irritating? I sighed and got to my feet while dusting my knees off. Cautiously, I opened the door to my house.

"Hello?" I called. "Anybody home?"

"Rei?" I heard a young voice exclaim in shock. I had about three seconds warning before Sayu sprinted into the room, sliding across the floor with her socks and tackled me to the floor. "REI!" she yelled out. "You're home! You're home! You're home!" she said her voice gradually increasing in volume.

"Sayu?" my mother's voice asked. She calmly walked in carrying a wet rag and wearing an apron. "Sayu, what are you yelling about?"

"Rei's home!" She said cheerily from her position on top of me. Mom's eyes widened in surprise as she took in my ruffled appearance as well as the fact Sayu was pinning me to the ground. Light, with the superb timing he always had, chose this particular to moment to come downstairs. He frowned in confusion at the assembled gathering until his eyes drifted towards Sayu and me underneath her.

"Rei?" he asked in disbelief.

"That's why I said!" Sayu interjected, oblivious to the fact that her knees on my chest were preventing me from speaking or breathing. Light, noticing my lack of speech and oxygen, hastily went to my side and tugged at our enthusiastic younger sister.

"Sayu, get off. She can't breathe," Light scolded, finally managing to pull her off me.

"Ah! I'm so sorry, nee-chan!" she apologized, leaping to her feet.

"It's fine," I sputtered, gasping heavily, trying to reacquaint my lungs and precious oxygen. Seeing my dilemma, Light offered me his hand.

"Need some help," he asked, genuinely concerned. I felt my heart crack. Why did he have to be this way? Couldn't he be less charming, or kind, or polite? All I needed was one condemning fault so I could justify reason I was doing this. Damn it all!

"Thanks," I said accepting his hand, hiding my inner turmoil. As he pulled me to my feet I was struck, as I always was, how much taller he was compared to me. I mean it made sense seeing as he was the older of the two of us, but you would think the gene pool would have been a bit more even due to the fact we where twins. Noticing how I was scrutinizing him, he smiled.

"Do I have something on my face?" he teased referring to a long running joke between us. I was supposed to respond, "Yes. My face," but…damn it! I hadn't expected it to be this hard! It was much easier when he was just on a screen…

"No," I answered slightly pained. "It's just that you look as immaculately disheveled as always," I said, referring to how his hair fell in perfect disarray. He looked at me questioningly, but decided to let it go.

"That's a bit of an oxymoron isn't it?" he asked, trying to bring me out of my dejected state. Why did he have to care? Come on Light! Prove to me how heartless and egoistical you are!

"Your face is an oxymoron," I muttered, placating him with the retort. He ruffled my hair and I forced myself not to stiffen. It's amazing how reluctant one becomes to be touched by someone they suspect is a serial killer. Even if that person is their brother.

"What would you like for dinner, Rei?" Mom asked bringing my attention back to the other two members of my family. "I can make something special in honor of you coming home if you'd like."

"That's alright!" I said hastily. "You don't have to do anything special for me! I'll eat anything. I'm not picky like these two." I gestured at Light and Sayu. What did it say about me that coming home was something to be celebrated? I needed to come home more often. That was obvious. But it was difficult to remember family obligations when I was so occupied at work.

"Hey I'm not that picky!" Sayu protested. "Light is way pickier than I am!" Light sent her a dirty look. "It's true though!" Sayu continued. "Remember that time he wouldn't eat dinner because there was a green tomato mixed in with the red ones? And the time the fish hadn't been cooked for the same amount of time on both sides? And the ti-"

"Is your father coming home?" Mom asked me with a worried expression. I shook my head sadly.

"Sorry, but no. The only reason I'm even here is because they were worried I was overworking myself, but I can try to work something out with the boss. Maybe he can home for a few days next week." She nodded resignedly, but her eyebrows remained drawn down in concern. "Do you need help with dinner," I asked feeling guilty over the neglect directed at them from me and Dad.

"Oh no! I couldn't possibly ask you to help!" She looked around frantically for something for me to do while she made dinner. Her eyes fell on Sayu who was pouting with her arms crossed for being interrupted. "Why don't you and Sayu watch TV?" she suggested. Sayu's eyes lit up.

"Yeah!" she agreed happily. "And I can show you my favorite pop idol!" Sayu clamped onto my arm and dragged me to the family room. Light sent me a sympathetic look before going back up to his room, claiming he needed to "study." Study my a– "That's him!" Sayu said pointing to an actor on the screen. "Hideki Ryuuga," she sighed dreamily.

I examined him. All in all he seemed like a lot of other actors. Of course he was good looking and charming, but if you put him in real life he would just seemed fake. "Mmm," I said noncommittally. Sayu laughed.

"You don't like him do you?" she said amidst giggles.

"He's not really my type," I admitted.

"You have a type?" she asked in fake astonishment and shrieked when I threw a pillow at her face.

"Enough about my love life! What about you? Any boys at school catch your eye," I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. She crossed her arms and stuck her chest out.

"No way! All the guys at my school are either jerks or nerds."

"Hmm, alright then. Have you caught anyone's eye?" She groaned and lay on her face on the floor. I muffled my own laughter at her reaction. "I'm guessing that's a yes?" When Sayu remerged from her spot on the floor her face was red.

"It's been awful! He's been writing me poetry and love letters! It's so embarrassing!" she complained.

"What's his name?" I asked with some interest. Not too many kids her age would have had the guts to be so straightforward about their feelings.

"Taro Kagami," she answered. "You met him at my school festival last year. He worked at the onigiri booth." I nodded in recollection.

"He seemed sweet….I would date him," I encouraged. She rolled her eyes.

"No you wouldn't. You don't date anyone," she retorted. It was my turn to roll my eyes. I grinned when a sudden burst of inspiration hit me.

"But just think about. If you two got married your last name would barely even change…Yagami to Kagami." Sayu's answering shriek was probably heard back at headquarters. Strike that. It was definitely heard because of the wiretaps. She whacked me with the pillow I threw at her earlier and I quickly retaliated. We were saved from a full out war by Mom's call of, "DINNER!"

When we sat down at the table Sayu was still glowering at me and Mom was holding back laughter. She had apparently heard the whole conversation. Light simply sat down, his expression as proper as ever. Dinner was surprisingly enjoyable, but is also gave me a chance to grill Light.

He was extremely vague about what he had been doing at school. Not like he had been up to something there, but rather he had been too preoccupied to pay attention to what was happening. And now that I could see him face to face, there was something….different about him.

What was it? His eyes? That was part of it. His eyes were cool, calculating; observing everything. Searching for anything that could be used to his advantage. Then there was his altogether demeanor. He was much more distant. He participated in the conversation, but only offered information that seemed required. I practically had to pry anything else out of him. When it was clear I couldn't ask anymore questions without seeming suspicious, I backed off and focused more on Mom and Sayu.

Once dinner was over Sayu and I retreated to her room for, "girl time." This mainly consisted of her painting my nails various colors and shades while she attempted to give up details about the romance in my life. She refused to believe it was nonexistent.

"Come on!" Sayu demanded as she painted my thumb nail a vibrant red that was eerily close to blood. "You must have dated somebody! You must have been at least attracted to someone! Even thinking that a guy was cute can count!" I cringed at her shrill pitch. Sighing, I brushed a strand of hair back with my free hand.

"I told you nobody ever interested me. If you haven't noticed our family isn't very keen on dating. Even Mom and Dad didn't date before they met," I said patiently.

"What are you talking about? Light dates girls all the time!"

"Has he ever brought one home though? Have you ever actually met any of them?" She cocked her head, a habit she picked up from me.

"You think he made them up?" she asked in confusion. Her hands paused over my middle finger's nail that vaguely resembled a bumble bee.

"No. I just don't think he's serious about any of them," I explained stretching my legs from my spot on her bed. Her eyes lit up in understanding.

"Oh I get it! If Light wanted a real relationship with them he would introduce them to us instead of dumping them after a couple weeks!" I smiled approvingly. The smile immediately turned mischievous after another thought crossed my mind. Something that had earned a fair bit of teasing in English class.

"And of course you're aware of what our last name in English is when it's spelled backwards," I said nonchalantly. She shook her head her expression curious. I beckoned her closer and whispered in her ear, "I'm a gay." She blinked at me in surprise for a few moments before roaring in laughter.

"Oh my God!" she giggled rolling of the bed with tears in her eyes. And as fate would have it, Light, distracted by the noise coming from the room, walked in asking what all the laughing was about. Sayu and I simply stared at him for a few moments before looking at each other. Of course we both cracked up again and it was my turn to roll off the bed and join Sayu on the floor. He stared at us in evident confusion.

"What?" he asked. Sayu and I only continued to laugh harder. Finally I managed to choke out an answer.

"Ahaha – English class – hahaha – last name – hahaha - ninth grade," I sputtered. He groaned in understanding.

"You told her that?" I managed to regain control of my giggles. What the hell did L think about all of this, I wondered faintly.

"Of course. How else was I to explain why you never brought any of your dates home?" I teased.

"You're evil," he muttered. I suppressed a gasp. I really didn't want to hear that from him, but…was Light really evil? Surely he deserved some credit right? He had good intentions…

"Look who's talking," I shot back, a bit more venomously than I would have liked. He gave me a strange look.

"Well, I'm going to go back to studying," he said with a slight frown on his face. Crap.

"You do that!" I said much cheerily than I normally would have. He gave me another strange look before leaving. Damn. Now he thought I was bipolar or something. I sighed before sitting back on the bed. Luckily, none of the nail polish had spilled from our wild thrashing.

"So," Sayu began going back to our earlier topic like the last seven minutes hadn't happened. "You're sure you haven't ever wanted to date anybody?" she asked yet again.

"Yes, I'm sure," I muttered slightly edgy from my mess-up. She nodded to herself like this made sense.

"I guess you're just one of those types." I cocked my head at her, our roles reversed this time.

"One of what types?" I questioned as the nails on my left hand were being finished.

"You know," she said, gesturing vaguely. "Those people that have a real soul mate."

"Are there fake soul mates?" I teased.

"Yes," she answered her expression serious. "Hardly anybody finds their real soul mate anymore. They just marry for money, or convenience, or to please their families. Of course there's a little bit of love," she said dismissively, "but not the mind-boggling stuff you read about in books or see in movies. But you," she said pointing at me with the paint brush, "you're not the type to settle for anything less than real love. So when you do fall in love, it's going to be hard and fast," she explained practically. She appeared to think for a moment. "Oh and unexpected. Definitely unexpected." I raised an eyebrow.

"And they call Light and I the smart ones…" I trailed off. She grinned at me.

"Oh, I'm smart. I just don't show it. I actually value my social life." I grinned back.

"You are the smart one," I said.

"I know. And…there!" she exclaimed as she flourishingly applied the last bit of nail polish. "All done." I examined my nails with interest. A myriad of colors splashed across them, a welcome change from their normally drab state.

"Thanks."

"No prob," she said waving me off. "Now get some sleep! That's the whole reason the big bad boss let you come home right?" I nodded.

"Night, Sayu."

"Night." I made my way back to my room, but stopped when I passed Light's. I sighed from outside the door. I couldn't just leave things like this. Who knows when Light would just be able to be my big brother again?

Hesitantly, I knocked on the door. Light opened the door, surprise on his face. "Can I come in," I asked. He nodded and I walked in, my eyes trailing over everything in the room, before I sat on the edge of the bed. He made to sit in the chair in front of the desk, but I grabbed his hand and tugged him down next to me. He started in shock, but sat down anyway.

I stared at the floor, my throat suddenly thick, tears threatening to emerge. "Light? You know I," I paused. Why did this hurt so much? "You know I love you right?" I asked my voice slightly higher than normal.

"Yeah, I know," he said softly, his arm wrapping around my shoulders comfortingly.

"Then please," I murmured softly, my vision swimming from the tears in my eyes. "Please," I choked out. "Please,"

Don't get caught.

"It's okay," he muttered soothingly. I nodded, willing to pretend for the moment. Because the second I stopped, it was all going to catch up with me. The case. Tai's death. Dad. Matsuda. All the innocent people. L. Light….

I simply let him hold me and when I stood up, I left part of myself behind. The child that cried for Light whenever he was out of sight. That refused to go to sleep at night if he didn't say goodnight. Who would hide on the roof after an argument and pretended that she actually minded sharing a birthday party. She was gone.

And who was left, I wondered numbly as I sat back in my room. A broken girl who cries out for justice. Who holds the lives of the innocent far above those of the guilty even if she loved them. Who would die in order to preserve what was right. She didn't feel real. Every bit of her felt false. It was role I wasn't meant to play. Just like Tai shouldn't have died and Light shouldn't have been Kira in the first place.

I put off going to sleep that night, instead choosing to eat an apple and obsessively clean my room. Anything to stop me from facing the nightmares that were sure to assault me. Dad didn't need to see me that way. But at midnight I couldn't put it off any longer. I climbed into my bed, my body tense as I waited for exhaustion to take over. My eyes closed and I fell into a fitful sleep. I didn't last an hour before the first nightmare set in.

~Light's POV~

I sat up in my bed, blinking in disorientation. I peered around the dark room searching for the source of my awakening. The clock caught my eye, displaying the time 2:43.

"Oi, Light," Ryuk said lazily. I forced myself to not to jump. Instead of glaring at the shinigami like I normally would, I had to content myself with squinting in his direction. I was sure L's cameras had night vision and glaring at nothing would not go over well. Once he was sure he had my attention, Ryuk continued. "Your sister's having a nightmare," he explained. "It was kinda entertaining at first, but all her whimpering got boring…" I stopped listening after the word nightmare. I sprinted out of the bed, stopping outside of Rei's room; my ear pressed against the door. I heard a faint whimpering coming from inside and immediately entered.

Rei was lying on her bed, her legs intertwined with the blanket. Her arm was over her mouth in what must have been a subconscious attempt to muffle sound. I knelt on the floor beside her, examining her frightened expression. Definitely a nightmare. I didn't dare wake her up. Not after last time. The doctor had specifically advised against it. In his words, "It may cause her to permanently lose her already tenacious hold on reality." I winced in recollection.

I wrapped my arms around my shaking twin, hoping my presence might calm her. She stiffened and seemed to be on the verge of lashing out at me, until she suddenly relaxed. Her body grew limp in my arms and she buried her head in my chest. The sounds of terror she had been making quieted and I knew the tears that had been on her cheeks had stopped. I got up on the bed with her and laid there. Happy to simply watch her sleeping face until all traces of fear were gone.

I swear Rei, I will protect you. No matter what the cost…

~L's POV~

I pried my eyes away from the screen showing the sleeping Yagami twins. It felt too…intrusive to watch them at a moment like that, despite that earlier I felt no qualms about observing the Yagami family while they were unaware. Perhaps it was the fact that Rei was added into the equation. She always seemed to make things more complicated or upset my thought process. Rei….

Rei it seemed suffered from nightmares, most likely caused by post-traumatic stress relating to her abduction as a child. It certainly explained the growing circles under her eyes; though at first I had concluded they were from overworking herself. And judging from Light's reaction, the nightmares were not a recent development. Perhaps she managed to convince her family that they had ceased? It would explain her order to restrain her father if he became too emotional over the situation…

I glanced warily at the sleeping man in the chair next to me. Fortunately, he had fallen asleep before Rei's nightmares had begun. But back to the matter at hand. If Rei had somehow convinced her family that her nightmares had ceased, how long had she endured the nightly tirades in silence? Far too long if the exhausted look in her eyes were any indication.

I needed to discuss this with her. Not only for the sake of the case, but for her own well being. I sighed and rubbed my temples. No, nothing was ever simple when it came to Rei. I focused back on the screen, the guilt of letting a serial killer move freely without being monitored overwhelming the urge to give Light and Rei privacy.

I frowned in annoyance as Light's grip on his sister tightened protectively. I blinked in surprise. What reason did I have to be annoyed? Rei mumbled something incoherently and Light smoothed her hair. My eyes tightened, both in irritation directed at Light and myself. Why was I reacting this way? Carefully I examined my emotions.

Hmm…anger…possessiveness…want….all mixed in with a slight tinge of relief. The first three emotions were easy enough classify. They fell neatly into the category of envy. How interesting. I was envious of Light, but for what reason I had yet to determine. Light murmured softly to Rei and I felt another wave of jealousy hit. Hmm…

So I was envious of Light protecting Rei. What did this mean for me? I cocked my head contemplating. I was jealous of Light's relationship with Rei which meant I wanted to strengthen my own with her. The true question was in what direction did I want our relationship to develop. There were several ways this could evolve. Friend or brother being the least. I was going to have to research the topic thoroughly. But going back to the last emotion.

I was relieved? I carefully watched the pair on the monitor waiting for the emotion to react for something. Rei sighed contently in her sleep, the worst of the nightmare over. Immediately my mood brightened considerably.

So if I couldn't be the one to comfort Rei…at least someone was able to. Everything fell into place at the point. I wanted Rei to be safe and happy. It wasn't a particularly unique thing. There were many people I wished to be safe and happy. Rei was just one of the precious few whom I would actually personally get involved to make sure that happiness occurred. I settled down in my chair. Everything else could wait. At the moment, it didn't matter how I cared, just as long as I did. For the remainder of the night I simply watched as the darkness faded into that of a new day.

~Author's Note~

At the moment, this is probably my favorite chapter. It's amazing how much I've improved in only twelve chapters. This had a little bit of everything. Family, comedy, angst, and L's finally getting that he wants to have some sort of relationship with Rei! Geez man.

Basically this how I think L would be with his emotions. He's good at not showing them, but I also think he'd be good at recognizing them and figuring out why he feels that way. He's not all, "Argh! I'm mad for no reason when this dude bonds with this girl! I'm so confused!" No. Not how L is. And notice L isn't admitting to himself that he may be attracted to her. He hints to himself that he may be, but he's looking at all other options first. And what does L do when he doesn't get something? He researches it. So look forward to him asking Rei and the gang some very weird or obvious questions.

Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. A bunch of you were apologizing over how you hadn't reviewed in a while and it's totally fine. I get it. Sometimes you just forget or are too busy to. Seriously guys its fine. I'm not one of those authors's that throws a hissy fit every time someone forgets to review. Btw Microsoft Word did not recognize the word hissy. Epic fail Microsoft. Epic fail. Oh yeah. One more thing.

113 reviews! AHHH TRIPLE DIGITS! *explodes in happiness*

gnarley-:I know. Slight awkwardness, but then it's overcome by sweetness. That was basically what I was thinking when I saw that the first time. Light with a playboy magazine equals baaaaad mental images. L's hard did indeed crack.

Rat300: Don't feel bad! And I'm sure the people watching with you were ecstatic XD. I read some of your stuff. I'm a big Ouran and FB fan so it was cool to see you write stuff about those stories.

Mega – Chan: Megan you are a writer now! Yay! I'm talking to you on skype now, so I have nothing pressing to say.

god of all: Just cause you said that I'm going to stop. Jk. I'm not that mean.

caribou. and. cake: why thank you! withdrawal sucks. It makes you do handstands.

Sesshomarus-demoness20: That would be one funny conversation. I almost wish I did it like that now…

Lt. Sarcasm: Interesting FF considers porn to be a bad word. Haha flowers and glitter…what is this? Ouran?

Theawsomesarah: It's totally cool. I. Have. Fangirls. O. M. No. Not gonna say G. Glad you giggled though.

Game-girl209: I don't like Light. Sorry. But I do like pre-Kira Light when he's not being arrogant. So…1% of the time XD.

TheSteelFlameAlchemist: Ah. A fellow alchemist. I salute thee. I enjoy making people's friends question their sanity. I WANT A CAT!

XxMichyBabyxX: It's totally cool. Thanks for the continued support.

snowXgem: It's cool. I'd write more but I have swim practice soon and I want to get this posted first. AHHHH! DEADLINES! I'll send you a PM later.

2Lazy2LogIn: Nice name XD. Don't worry. You can think of all the ample threats you want later.

Maela Shane: Of course I know who Gir is! When I got your review I was wearing a shirt with him on it! Once again you'll get a PM later with more detail, but DARN SWIM PRACTICE~!

darkravensnight: Haha melon lord…Avatar reference…South Park moment! Thanks for the review.