B: Why the hell am I here? You barely mentioned me in the freaking story!
TCLA: L said it…and you don't want to be defeated by L now do we.
B: THAT BASTARD IS NOT BEATING ME! TCLA DOES NOT OWN DEATH NOTE AND WANTS TO TELL YOU ALL THAT SHE FINDS ME INCREDIBLY SEXY DRENCHED IN GASOLINE! Wait, what?
TCLA: You sounded like Mello talking about Near.
B: No, what you said about me being sexy drenched in gasoline.
TCLA: Have you seen that fan art? *drools* You're also holding a match. A lit match….now that is sexy.
B: Well I can't argue with that…
Chapter 20 Reconciliation
"That's impossible!" Matsuda cried out. L was still frozen on the floor, staring at the screen in stunned disbelief. Hesitating slightly I offered my hand to help him to his feet, but for the moment he seemed incapable of movement.
"Obviously they don't exist!" Aizawa negated. Light took this opportunity to jump into the conversation.
"Yes, that's right Ryuzaki," Light said rationally. "Listen to yourself. Of course shinigami don't exist." L finally moved. I let out a small sigh of relief to see that L wasn't completely paralyzed.
"You're probably right," L agreed far more easily than he had ever conformed to one of Light's points before. He was desperate to find some reason amidst the sea of unknown. "But I remember Kira had those prisoners write something suggesting the existence of shinigami."
"So based off that fact, perhaps we're dealing with the same person after all. It would definitely explain why we're hearing the same words…" Dad reasoned. Light's brow furrowed.
"I don't think so," Light began. "Because if this was the same person, it's highly unlikely he'd respond to our video in the first place. And why would he agree to let l live after going to all the trouble of getting him to appear on TV?" Light shook his head. "The real Kira wants him dead, so it doesn't make sense.
"Then maybe there's some other connection between the real one," Aizawa said, struggling to come up with a logical answer. "They could have already met and decided to use the word shinigami to confuse us," Aizawa suggested.
It was then I felt L's fingers curling around mine. I started suddenly, and tugged L to his feet, my emotions in complete turmoil from the simple touch. How could he touch me so casually? L had problems with human contact, so was this proof his feelings were genuine? Or did it merely mean he was so intent on using me he was pushing his aversion to human flesh aside? Ugh, circles within circles.
L released his hold though it didn't lessen the unpleasant sensation in my stomach or my building headache. L turned over his toppled chair and sat in it again like he hadn't just had a screaming fit.
"No," L said, bringing me back to the matter at hand. "I'd say that's unlikely. It's as Light says. If the two Kira's were connected then I don't think the imposter would be so willing to give up on his plan to kill me. All of this suggests to me that the copycat has his own agenda and is acting independently of the first. I believe his actual motivation is to meet the original," L concluded in his normal round about way. Light stepped in immediately to prevent anyone form debunking the theory.
"I think you're right," Light added. "He's acting out of interest in Kira." Light crossed his arms. "The word shinigami could very well be a reference to their killing power."
I frowned. I had said almost the exact same thing in the café after the tennis match. But Light had been quick to shoot down that particular theory. Why the change of heart?
Maybe because now it's to his benefit…
"Saying that we can confirm our identities by showing our shinigami to each other," Light continued, "probably means they confirm their identities by somehow demonstrating their abilities to kill."
"Yes, that's it," L said. "That theory is nearly identical to the one Rei voiced," L reminded Light, coming to my "rescue."
He couldn't say anything without some snide voice in head questioning his motives! I was going to go mad over all the what ifs! Especially if I finally reached a conclusion that proved to be wrong. Either way I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for a.) letting L manipulate me in the first place or b.) pushing him away only to discover he really had cared.
"Based on their messages, we can assume the word shinigami must hold some other meeting that only the first and second Kira are aware of," L deduced.
"So will you respond and force him to be more specific?" Light asked swiftly. "We have to be careful how we handle this, we can't make it too obvious that we're asking, other wise he'll realize we're not Kira," he explained.
"No," L said sharply. His period of agreeing with Light had ended. "From now on it's best we leave it up to the two Kiras."
"What do you mean?" Aizawa asked.
"I imagine the second Kira is probably quite satisfied with current situation, now that he has received a televised response. He sent a message to get Kira's attention, and as far as he knows, he has it. Also, there's that word he used, that only the two of them would understand. We'll arrange to have this broadcasted on Sakura TV's six o'clock news. Naturally this will be of interest of Kira and he'll be following the exchange between the copycat and the one we've invented. Now if I were Kira himself, my priority would be to prevent this imposter from coming into contact with the police. This is good for us because it means the real Kira may feel pressured to respond this time," L answered patiently.
"Ok," Aizawa nodded, accepting the situation. "But, let's say that he doesn't respond, then what do we do?
"Yes, I've been thinking about what the second Kira might do if he gets no response. For one, he might reveal information that he knows Kira wants kept secret in order to pressure him into a meeting. Of course," L added, "that would make Kira nervous. It could be interesting if Kira sends a message of his own to prevent this from happening. I ideally this could provide us with the physical evidence we'll need to build a case against him. In the mean time, let's gather all the information we can find on this copycat," L finished.
The investigation team nodded and began assembling the info when I felt Light clasp my shoulder. I jumped, startled and looked up at him, but his gaze was directed at L.
"Ryuzaki, I think Rei and I should head home now. We still have classes tomorrow at the university," Light said expectantly. L looked at me for a sign of what I wanted, but I kept my eyes lowered to the floor.
"You may leave if you wish," L finally relented, his voice slightly confused, though I doubted Light would have caught it.
I stood up; wriggling out of Light's grip and practically fled the room, Light hot on my heels.
The next day was pure agony. I thought having to endure L's presence was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to being out of his range.
I was exhausted, physically and mentally. Last night's self doubt had brought on a new sort of nightmare. Kira had been taunting me on how easy it was to string me along to make me believe L cared for me. He then changed into L who mocked how desperate I was, then changing once again to Tai who asked how I could let him die. The dream had ended, as they usually did, meaning I died of a heart attack. I could still recall the twisting sensation in my chest…
I was also being forced to deal with classes that left far too much time on my hands, school providing little if any distraction. Couple that with the fact Light sat next to me in every class and shot smug looks in my direction every few minutes that he was convinced I couldn't see, and I was thoroughly miserable.
When the final class of the day ended, I bolted from the room. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, though Light didn't comment on it, instead quickening his pace to match mine.
On our way to the hotel, Light got a call from Dad telling him that Kira had apparently sent in a diary entry of all things. This worked wonderfully as a distraction…during the walk to the hotel. However the moment the suite door swung open, I was in my own personal hell…whoopee.
"He wanted the journal shown on TV?" Light asked immediately, reaching for the paper in Dad's hand. How like a guy to call a diary a journal.
"Yes this is it," Dad confirmed. I could feel L's stare boring into me, looking for an explanation to my odd behavior, but I couldn't seem to find my voice. I settled for looking at the diary page over Light's shoulder.
It was from last year, 2006, so all of the spaces were filled out. I scanned the page ignoring most of the information and focused mainly on the things that would correspond with the second Kira's goal. Translation meeting Kira. I noted all the places mentioned.
Aoyama, Shibuya, and the Tokyo Dome. Well the Tokyo Dome was the most obvious choice. It clearly mentioned shinigami in that particular entry, but it was far convenient. Not to mention easy for the police to interfere. Then there was Shibuya where it mentioned shopping with a friend. The friend could easily refer to the first Kira, but it was far too generic. The copycat couldn't hope to find Kira by looking for people who were shopping. And then there was Aoyama where it mentioned showing off notebooks. What the hell did that mean? The wording was far too strange, not to mention deliberate. Perhaps notebook was another code word?
I looked at Light and followed his line of vision, pleased to see he was also focused on the Aoyama entry. L's voice suddenly sounded to my left and I resisted the urge to flinch.
"Please take a look at the entry he made on the thirtieth. What do you think? Is it real?" L demanded. Light hesitated before answering.
"At this point in time, all I can say is that he must be stupid."
"Yeah, I agree," Matsuda chimed in. "I mean it's completely obvious he wants to meet Kira at the home game."
"Doesn't he understand what would happen if we aired the message? It would cause an immediate panic and the game would be canceled," Dad said in confusion.
L walked over to a box of chocolates resting on a nearby coffee table. He stared at them, brooding. His eyes narrowed in irritation and picked up a single chocolate eyeing it with distaste like it was Kira himself. He brought it up to eye level and examined it at a close range before aggressively shoving it whole into his waiting mouth. Yeah, he was pissed with me.
"To be honest," L said, not caring in the least he was almost incomprehensible with the chocolate in his mouth, "it's so stupid I'm not even sure how to deal with this whole situation anymore." L swallowed loudly and sat.
"If we make the diary public, then we'll be forced to make some sort of televised announcement canceling the game on the thirtieth, but if we don't broadcast it, we can be sure the second Kira won't do anything," L explained.
"Won't canceling the game make him angry?" Matsuda asked a bit nervously. "There's no telling what he'd do." Aizawa, Matsuda, and Dad all sat on the couches clustered around L's chair. I remained standing much to Light's delight. Haha I'm so hysterical.
"Frankly that's not a big concern. From what we've witnessed it's safe to say the second Kira admires the real one. He gave his word to the Kira we invented that he would refrain from killing aimlessly. I'm inclined to believe that. I say that we make it public and air an announcement canceling the game. At the same time, we will announce that on May thirtieth we are going to set up checkpoints on all main roads leading to the Tokyo Dome. And finally we'll send a response from our invented Kira. Something like, 'I understand and I agree to meet you there.'"
"Ryuzaki, you don't honestly expect him to go there if we set up checkpoints around the dome do you?" Dad asked in disbelief.
"I don't think Kira would even consider it, but it's possible the other one might. And it all depends on how stupid he really is," L replied, raising the diary entry to eye level, hiding his face. "However, assuming he's not the idiot we all think he is, there could be another message hidden in this diary. One that's not so obvious." I held my tongue, biting back my own conclusions. I was loath to break my self imposed silence.
"If there's a message here that only people who have this shinigami power can understand, there'd be no way for me to decipher it. Still it would only make sense for us to look into all the places that were mentioned in the journal. On the twenty-second he's meeting a friend in Aoyama twenty-fourth meeting another friend in Shibuya. We have to be prepared for the possibility that all our efforts will be fruitless. Let's keep our eyes out for people with notebooks in Aoyama and people in clothing stores in Shibuya." L put down the paper blocking his face. "All we can do is place more surveillance cameras in Aoyama and Shibuya in hopes that we might capture something. We should also arrange to have undercover officers in both locations of those dates," L decided.
"I should probably go to Aoyama and Shibuya since I blend in with the crowd there you know?" Matsuda volunteered. L took a sip of his tea.
"I should go too," I added.
"NO!" The resounding negative came from L, Light, Dad, Matsuda, and Aizawa. I blinked at the sudden change in volume.
"I mean, it's too dangerous!" Matsuda said.
"For once he's right…" Aizawa said.
"Absolutely not," Dad argued.
"I agree with your father," L said.
"Please Rei," Light pleaded. "I wouldn't be able to handle it if you got kidnapped again." I recoiled like he had slapped me. His eyes flashed sensing the advantage. "Just stay here."
"Fine," I spit out. "But I hope you know you're all being incredibly sexist."
"That being said," Light began, "I'll go." I waited for everybody to protest, only to hear silence from everyone excluding Dad. Sexist Bastards.
"But Light…"
"I'll be alright. Don't worry. Aoyama and Shibuya are places I'd go anyway. Not to mention out of all of us, I'd probably look the most natural with Matsui there. Besides the second Kira will be there looking for Kira, not the police."
I spent the time until the Aoyama visit sulking and avoiding both L and Light. I honestly couldn't handle all their little mind games right now. But one could only avoid L so long without him dragging you into a conflict. This moment came the second Light and Matsuda left for Aoyama. Ignoring the stares of the other officers, L had pulled me to an empty room.
Warily, I sat on a couch while he arranged himself in his crouch next to me. He stared at me and I tried to meet his probing gaze, only to drop my eyes after a few seconds. This seemed to worry him beyond all else and he frowned, knowing on his thumb.
"You are avoiding me," he stated plainly.
"Yes," I answered honestly, knowing I wouldn't be able to lie.
"Why?" I sighed heavily, building my resolve to look him in the eye when I responded. Gritting my teeth, I met his gaze again, this time with defiance.
"Are you manipulating me?" The question was direct, but it was the only way to get a real answer.
"You believe I am manipulating you?" he questioned flatly. I let out a humorless laugh.
"That's so like you, to avoid a question by asking another question." I shook my head. "You're impossible."
"I am not manipulating you," he answered frowning.
"Prove it," I said quickly. He stayed quite for a moment, seemingly absorbed in the pattern of the couch. His head snapped up and looked back at with me with just as much intensity as I had.
"How would you like me to prove it?"
"What?" I asked startled.
"How do you wish me to prove that my affections are real and not merely a manipulation tactic?" he repeated.
What could he do to prove he wasn't lying? The answer came to me, and I took in a sharp breath.
"Kiss me," I said slowly. He tilted his head in confusion. "Kiss me," I demanded. He looked at my fierce expression and pulled my hand towards his mouth, gently pressing his lips across my palm. I felt my resolve crack and tears threatened to overflow from my eyes.
"That's not what I meant," I said, shaking my head.
"If I had responded any differently, would you still be here?" he asked with a small chuckle.
"How do you know me better than I do?" I asked, slightly frustrated. He smiled weakly and brushed my hand with his.
"Practice…. Do you believe me?" he asked softly.
"I want to, but I can't," I whispered.
"Why? Please explain to me." I shook my head.
"Don't you understand? You have everything to gain from this! Why else would you be interested? What exactly were you planning to do when the Kira case was over? I can guarantee it's not staying in Japan," I said bitterly. L answered slowly.
"I would have waited for you to complete your education and stayed in the area for as long as possible." I didn't say anything. "You still don't believe me," he stated wearily. I shook my head. "I will leave you to your thoughts then."
He stood, seemed to consider to comfort me, but though better of it, before shuffling out of the room. I was not left alone for long.
"Watari," I said, hearing him approach. "I suppose he sent you to represent his case." Watari sat down across from me, shaking his head.
"No, I am merely here because I want to see you and Ryuzaki happy." I snorted in a desperate attempt to keep from crying. One that failed, I realized, when I felt tears slide down my cheeks. Watari offered me a handkerchief. I took it, mumbling my thanks and hastily wiped away the tears.
"I suppose you heard the entire conversation?" the elderly man nodded.
"Could you explain to me why you believe Ryuzaki is manipulating you?" I sighed.
"It's like I said, the relationship doesn't, make sense," I paused, "and if really cared for me…why didn't he ask…" my voice cracked, "why didn't he ask me to come with him?" Watari echoed my sigh.
"Rei, I don't believe you fully understand what you are asking of Ryuzaki." I looked at him, momentarily distracted. He smiled at my display of interest. "You seem to forget that you are young. Decisions you make now may not be applicable to the near future. But suppose Ryuzaki did ask you to come with him? Would you leave your life here behind? Ryuzaki and I have seem firsthand your devotion to your family; your mother and sister in particular. Would you be content to leave them for a life confined in a hotel room? You are a young girl; you rely on social interaction far more than you know. You need to be with people. He did not wish to make you choose between him and your family. And of course your age is problematic. Ryuzaki is sensitive to this."
"Why can't I believe you?" I asked, my voice flaring with anger. "Everything you're saying should reassure me! Hell, I want to believe you, but it's not that simple…"
"Why?" Watari questioned intently. "What makes it so complicated? You have trusted Ryuzaki with everything before this. You held nothing back from him. What makes you believe he is exploiting your trust?"
"Because it's Light!" I yelled, breathing heavily. "Light's the one who suggested it." I buried my head in my hands. "I can't not trust Light. You could prove to me he was Kira, make him kill someone in front of me, make him murder my family, and I would still trust him. That's what you need to understand."
"I see…."
"Could you please leave me alone for a while? I need to think." Watari nodded and left, most likely to report his findings to L.
What was I going to do? I wanted to trust both of them…but I couldn't. I was finally being forced to choose a side. Why was this so hard? I had already accepted that Light was most likely Kira so why couldn't I let go? It wasn't as simple as deciding just to trust L…but, why couldn't it be?
Watari was right, I had immediately trusted L from the moment I had met him, hadn't that been a decision? So couldn't I decide to accept the consequences of trusting L? What would happen if I did and I proved to be wrong? Some tears? Well I had already cried. A broken heart? I would survive, wouldn't I? So I would trust him.
Immediately I felt a weight lift off my stomach. I could think again. I could focus. And I knew exactly who I wanted to focus on. Grinning, I got to my feet and headed to the doorway I had seen L disappear into.
L was facing away from me, huddled into a small ball on the chair he sat in. I felt guilt pull at me heart, but I pushed it aside. I had made my decision. Hopefully, it would make him happy.
I cautiously approached the chair, taking care not to make noise. With a grin I threw my arms around the dark haired detective. He stiffened and that was all I had time to register before he was moving me.
I was thrown to the floor, and his foot shot towards my face only to avoid me at the last second. I stopped breathing. We stared at each other wide eyed for a moment.
"Rei, you…surprised me," he said lamely. He scratched his head nervously.
"What the hell was that?" I asked in awe. His brow furrowed in confusion.
"It's called capoeira. It's a form of dance used for self defense…." He trailed off. "You are not angry with me?" he asked tilting his head.
"No, but I am kinda freaked out and impressed." He chuckled.
"I apologize for scaring you. I suppose this means you forgive me?" My grin crept back onto my face.
"I threw my arms around you in what was clearly a romantic gesture. What do you think?" I asked, though the effect of the sarcasm was lost in my giddy tone.
"You could have been attempting to strangle me," L observed. "I believe that is the typical female's reaction to an exboyfriend." I snorted at this.
"Leave it to you to destroy what could become a perfectly good romantic moment."
"I apologize, would you like me to try again?" Not waiting for an answer he pulled me from the ground and against his chest in a loose embrace. Lightly, he kissed the top of my head. "I am very glad you decided to trust me."
"Mmm, me too," I answered. He laughed at my response, a real laugh that I could feel reverberating throughout his body.
"Shall we return to the others before they investigate our extended absence?"
"In a second. You still didn't fulfill my request."
"And what request is that?" he asked, humoring me. I rolled my eyes at him.
"To kiss me of course." He smiled and brought my hand to lips again, kissing my palm. He then let me go and stepped back. "Freaking tease," I muttered. He chuckled again.
"So we where there both days, in Aoyama on the twenty-second and in Shibuya on the twenty-fourth and we observed nothing of significance on either occasion. That leaves us only with the dome on the thirtieth," Aizawa reported, reading from a file.
Despite the lack of progress, I was ridiculously happy. It was amazing what making up with your boyfriend could do to your mood. However, this meant Light was acting distinctly unpleasant. But I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty.
I was distracted though, when a loud beeping came from one of L's many laptops bearing a W. As expected, Watari's voice followed soon afterwards.
"Ryuzaki, Sakura TV has just received another message from the second Kira. It was postmarked on the twenty-third." The screen quickly changed to the childish Kira insignia.
"I'm happy to say that I have found Kira." My eyes widened as the copycat spoke. "To all of the people of the television and the police department, I'd like to thank you very much." The video ended abruptly. He… she…screw it, it found Kira? How? Please tell me in explicit detail!
"This is a disaster if he found him," Aizawa commented worriedly.
"Yeah it's most likely that the two Kiras are now cooperating with each other…" Dad added. L furiously stirred his tea with a spoon.
"At this point I don't think we should jump to any conclusions. He is only saying he found him, nothing more. He may not have made contact yet. Now that it has come to this," L slurped his tea, "we have no choice but to commune as the police directly to the second Kira," L mused.
"You want to send a message?" Matsuda asked curiously.
"Yes. The police need to reach out to the copycat and offer him a deal to negotiate with him to see if we can get Kira's real name," L explained.
"That makes sense," I muttered. "But you do realize he'll most likely refuse? He's clearly reached and unhealthy level of devotion akin to someone worshipping a god?"
"I do, but we will lose nothing but attempting it. In fact it may put more pressure on Kira if he were to believe this second Kira would agree to the deal."
"Alright then, want me to draft a script?" I asked cheerily. Light scowled.
"Yes," L nodded. "That would be useful." I continued grin as I left the room, leaving my brother and the rest of the task force gaping at me. Hey, so I was happy. Deal with it.
~Author's Note~
Hey guys! Your response to last chapter was kinda freaking awesome. All of you were ticked at Light and my pathetic flamer. You seriously rock. All of you.
Sorry for all the angst, but everything can't go well for them or else it's gonna get boring.
And just thought I should let you guys know, I have no idea how long this fic is going to be. I have everything planned out in my head, but weirdly the length differs when I write it down. So I'm guessing….at least forty chapter and less than sixty. That gives me a twenty chapter error margin so I think I'll be good. And when you think about it, Light still hasn't lost his memories and I just hit twenty. That should tell you about my writing style. Basically, I'm a very wordy sucker.
I also just tried out for Guys and Dolls! Wish me luck!
Twentieth chapter anniversary! Woot!
Thanks for reviewing!
methidtothemadness: Lol, I'm lazy like that too. I'm always reading off my itouch. Haha I'm glad my replying made you happy. Thanks for the caketastic review!
jj: would ya look at that? I updated XD. Thanks for the caketastic review!