Rei: So now you pick me. Gee thanks a bunch.

TCLA: Hey, just be happy my brain decided to spawn you.

Rei: Fine. I'm happy.

TCLA: Was that so hard?

Rei: Extremely. Now this so called "writer" does not own Death Note or its characters, only me and whatever sad OCs she decides to shove in here.

TCLA: You're still mad I killed off Tai, aren't you?

Rei: No. I'm just obviously mad at you for no good reason.

TCLA: I KNEW IT! Now let the story commence!

Chapter 24 Selfish

I closed my eyes in contentment, enjoying the shade and cool breeze, as well as the small patches of sunlight that managed to penetrate the leafy canopy above me. University was, well here and now anyway, relaxing. That is to say, when I wasn't in class or sitting three feet away from Light. Lazily, I opened my eyes and glanced towards the person I was currently with.

"That's upside down you know," I observed. L glanced up from the book he was supposedly reading, with a smile.

"That is the point. I wish to make it more challenging," L answered. I smiled back, still surprised by how easily we interacted with each other. I turned when I heard the sound of approaching footsteps and voices, my smile quickly disappearing; being replaced by a pensive frown.

"Light's coming," I warned, dropping my gaze to the ground. I could feel, rather than see L's smile disappearing as well as he tensed slightly, preparing for his student façade. I tensed as well, Light and I hadn't exactly made up yet. Or to be more exact, I made some excuse and bolted from the room before he could make me second guess myself again.

"Hey Light!" L called out cheerily with a wave. Resisting a snort, I elbowed him in the side. It reminded me of the time he had called Light his only friend. Something that would have upset me if I hadn't overheard their argument. I was sure it was L's attempt at playing the guilt card, along with an underhand jab thrown in. "How's it going," L deadpanned. I elbowed him again. I lifted my eyes to where I was sure Light was. He stood there warily, along with a tall girl who often sat on Light's other side in class. Kiyomi Takada I think. Apparently there were dating. Try telling that to Misa.

"Kiyomi, could we continue this later?" Light asked with barely a glance at the girl. "I need a moment alone with them."

"Um, ok…?" Takada said with barely concealed curiosity as well as insult for being so subtlety snubbed.

"I hope she's not upset," L commented as the girl walked away irritatedly. Light waved away this inconsequential detail.

"Never mind that. Is it okay to be here? Didn't you say you were afraid to appear in public?" L shut his book and placed it on the bench next to him.

"I did," L conceded, "but I realized as long as you're not Kira, I should be safe." Light's lip twitched at the comment. "The fact is, you and Rei are the only two who know me on the outside who knows me as L. In the unlikely event that I die in the next few days, I've instructed your father and everyone at headquarters to assume you're Kira." Light's cool gaze blazed to life for a moment before becoming distant once more. "Besides, you told me yourself that you missed having me around school, so I figured why not come back for a little change of pace. As long as it doesn't kill me, college is a lot of fun." L's flickered to mine for a moment before focusing on Light again.

"I have to admit, without you, intelligent conversation is hard to come by," Light admitted with a rueful smile.

"I take offense at that," I murmured. Light started slightly, surprised I had actually spoken to him at all, albeit quietly. His smile turned genuine for a moment. L chuckled under his breath; softly enough that Light didn't hear him. Going along with the joke, L continued.

"I see. Luckily Kiyomi is there to fill the void."

"Well, something like that." I glared at them darkly as they both shared a joke at my expense.

"Hey, do you want to have some cake with me in the cafeteria?" L asked suddenly, sounding like a little kid in, well, a candy shop.

"Sure. I have a break right now anyway," Light said. L quickly shifted from his crouch to his customary hunch, only adding a couple inches to his height. The book he had brought along disappeared into one of the pockets in his jeans. I also got to my feet, aware of the silence that had fallen.

"Perfect, I'm craving shortcake right now," L commented.

"Well, let's hope they have it," Light answered distractedly.

"Light!" a high pitched voice keened. "There you are!" In stunned disbelief, and the synchrony that only twins could manage, Light and I turned to the voice. Shit. Misa. Misa giggled cutely, linking her hands behind her back and rocking on the balls of her feet. "And Rei too! Misa had a photo shoot nearby, so Misa thought she'd come by to see you!" Her attention turned to L, and almost automatically, I shifted my body to block L's. "Oh, this must be a friend of yours." She steeped closer scrutinizing him. "He looks so different and unique. Hi there! I'm Misa Amane! It's nice to meet you!" she exclaimed happily.

L stared at her blankly, his dark eyes wide. His index finger was pressed against his lip as it jutted out in concentration. "I'm Hideki Ryuuga," he introduced quietly. Misa tilted her head to the side her mouth open, about to say something when Light cut in.

"Yeah, he has the exact same name as the famous idol. Pretty bizarre huh?" Misa stepped around Light and stared at L a bit more. Her eyes widened suddenly in understanding when she saw me protectively in front of L.

"OH! YOUR REI-" This time I interrupted Misa, panic clear on my face.

"Yes, Misa. This is him. You know the guy I told you about," I hissed through gritted teeth. Misa looked at me in confusion, until in exasperation I started nodding my head in Light's direction over exaggeratedly.

"OH! Don't worry Misa gets it," she said with a wink and eyebrow wiggle. I face palmed, only to see Light and L were focusing on each other with an eerie intensity, rather than watching Misa and I.

L was chuckling under his breath while Light stared back, clearly bewildered by the show of humor. I glanced between the two of them, almost able to see the tension in the stand off. Misa stood cluelessly beside me.

"Light, you're a lucky guy," L finally said shattering the silence. Light recoiled in surprise. L ignored Light's reaction, his gaze shifted to Misa. "I've been a huge fan of yours ever since the August issue of Eighteen," L admitted. I blinked. The August issue of Eighteen? My mind flashed briefly to the magazine I had borrowed from Sayu. My lip curved upwards. That little liar. I shook my head instead of laughing.

"What? Really?" Misa squealed. "That's so sweet of you!"

This exclamation was so loud that it caught the attention of several nearby students and in a few moments, the four of us were completely enveloped in a mob of Misa fans. It was unsurprising of course, that something would happen.

"NO WAY! Somebody just touched my butt!" Misa yelled. However what was surprising, was L standing there looking horrified. Or more specifically, standing behind Misa with his hand outstretched. What Misa missed however, was the small phone that was transferred from his other hand to his pocket.

"Ah…I-I…. This is an outrage!" L said, marching in front of Misa. "Taking advantage of this situation is unforgiveable! I will find whoever is responsible for this," L reassured. Misa giggled behind her hand.

"Oh Ryuuga, you're so funny!" The assembled students all laughed along with her like mindless drones. They were parted though, by an aggravated woman with glasses and a suit.

"Misa it's time! Or we're you planning to be late again?" she criticized. Misa wilted meekly.

"Ah, no. Misa is sorry Yoshi." Yoshi rolled her eyes and seized Misa's arm and started dragging her away. Misa wriggled in Yoshi's grasp so she was walking backwards.

"Okay. Bye Light! I'll see you after I'm done with work! Miss you already!" With Misa gone, the small crowd dissipated and the three of us were left alone again.

"Now then," L said like the interruption had never occurred. "Perhaps we should get going." L turned on his heel in the direction of the cafeteria.

"Actually, could you go on ahead?" Light asked shrewdly. "I have to go use the restroom."

"Ah yes. I'll see you there," L responded and gave me a look that clearly said, "Come along Rei." Obligingly, I followed without hesitation.

"Please tell me you have a plan," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth. He had after all just revealed his face to the girl who was supposedly the second Kira. L smiled slightly, a knowing expression on his face. He held up a single spidery finger to keep me from speaking. I opened my mouth, about to question why, when a cell phone rang. And it was neither L's or my familiar ring. L tugged the phone out of his pocket, and flipped it open; holding it to his ear like it carried a disease.

"Yes, hello?" L answered. I gaped at him before pressing my palm over my mouth to stifle laughter.

"What do you mean 'hello'" Light's muffled voice sourly asked. L straightened in mock realization.

"Oh Light? Is that you?" My shoulders started shaking. "I guess someone must have dropped this in all the commotion earlier," L reasoned. I could hear Light approaching behind us, though L ignored this and continued listening in on the phone.

"Yes, that's Misa's cell phone you have there. I can give it back to her," Light suggested.

"Ah, I see that makes sense." L hit the end call button and finally acknowledged Light by handing him the phone. We had barely gone three feet when another phone rang. I recognized this one as L's.

"Oh. This time it's actually my cell phone," L commented more to himself than anyway else. He pulled it out to answer. "Yes? …. Yes I see…. So it's done then…. I understand." L ended the call and carefully placed the phone back into his pocket. L turned to face Light, with a businesslike expression.

"I'm not exactly sure how you'll take this," L began, "but regarding Misa Amane. There's something you should know. We've taken her into custody under the suspicion of being the second Kira. We've gathered physical evidence from the envelopes sent by the second Kira. In particular we recovered hairs and fibers from the masking tape used to seal them. They matched what we found in Misa's room. There would be a public out roar if it got out she was apprehended as the second Kira. So officially we've charged her manager with drug possession and are holding her as a voluntary witness. But I doubt any of this will get out," L finished with a final glance towards Light.

I stared at Light's rigid expression while my own mind processed this. L wasn't going to be killed… Misa would never know that the man she had met today is the infamous L. I blinked, coming back to myself, realizing L had already started walking away. My eyes flickered back to Light who looked like he had no intention of moving any time soon. Reluctantly, I chased after L. We stayed silent as we walked. I only spoke when L took a sharp turn leading away from the cafeteria. Apparently with his purpose completed his cake could wait until we were back in headquarters.

"We're leaving?" His eyes briefly met mine and he smiled grimly.

"Apparently." I knew he meant that I was tagging along. Dad would be angry that I was skipping again, but I honestly could care less.

"Watari, has she said anything yet?" L asked. He had immediately headed for the monitor attached to his microphone the moment we stepped into the darkened suite.

"No. She hasn't spoken a word," Watari reported. I stepped behind L and was closely followed by the other officers.

"Get me a visual of her will you?" L ordered. There was pause accompanied by the crackle of static.

"…Are you sure?"

"Yes and quickly," L affirmed. The screen flickered to life. A sense of horror filled me that was echoed in the gasps that filled the room.

Misa was restrained. No, that didn't do it justice. She was bound and blindfolded, strapped to a large metal operating table. Her small form was covered in the white fabric that made up a straightjacket. Even from the grainy image of the cameras, you could tell she was trembling in fear. She was whimpering. A small cry that was just wrong. The sound of a baby being fed to the lions. Of a child being destroyed by it's mother.

"Ryuzaki! What is the meaning of this?" Dad questioned angrily.

"I've apprehended her on suspicion of being the second Kira," L explained coldly. "I'm afraid this was necessary." This seemed to reassure Dad, but it only increased the sick filling building in my stomach. It was so familiar. The image of the helpless girl. Only I was seeing her from the other side.

"Chances are Amane is guilty. There seems to be enough evidence to convict her…but all the same…" Dad trailed off, leaving the issue at that. Believing the actions justified the means.

"Yes there can be no mistake. Now we need a confession out of her. We need to know how she kills, whether she knows Kira, and if so who he really is. Watari take the necessary precautions, but beyond that do whatever that has to be done. Just make her speak," L instructed callously.

"Very, well," Watari answered and I heard the sound of gloves being snapped into place.

"Oh, god," I muttered as my vision began to swim. I couldn't handle this.

"Rei," L said softly. I unsteadily focused on him, but he refused to look at me. "I would like you to leave. I do not want you to witness what we are about to do." I didn't answer, instead choosing to flee from the memories threatening to overwhelm me.

"She said she wanted to die," L said suddenly, filling the silence of the room. We were sitting alone. The other investigators were monitoring Misa. It had been three days since Misa had been taken. Three days that had me living the same hell she was.

"Was that all?" I asked shakily, desperately hoping she had so the torture could stop. L's lack of a response was all the answer I needed.

"Did you ever…" he stopped, unsure how to phrase the question. "When you were taken, did you ever wish to die?" L quietly questioned.

It was my turn to hesitate. L sounded…guilty. Like he regretted how Misa was being interrogated.

"I try not to think too much about it…but no. I don't think I ever did. When you're a child, death is a strange concept. It's hard to connect it with yourself. The idea of ceasing to exist doesn't really register. I didn't even recognize death as a way of escape. Survival was my priority," I answered slowly.

"I see…" I raised my eyes up to his.

"Though even now, I don't think I would have. I'm not one to give up," I admitted with a small sad smile.

"No you are not."

"Why?" L was quiet for a moment.

"When she screams…. I can start to comprehend the pain you were put through… And I question if I am better than the men who hurt you all for selfish gain."

"Do honestly believe that?" I asked intently. "That this selfish gain? That saving thousands of lives is wrong of you?" L sighed softly and lowered his eyes and delicately grasped my hand.

"I am a selfish man, Rei," he said wearily, echoing his words to Light. "I became a detective to satisfy my own boredom and thirst for challenges. The only case I took that could be looked on as being virtuous in anyway was only my attempt at rectifying a problem I myself had caused. It was pride and shame at my own mistakes that prompted me to act. My version of justice is flawed and unattached. I am unable to sympathize with people who acted out of necessity. I am cold, Rei. So yes, I do believe I am selfish."

"You're wrong," I contradicted stubbornly.

"Rei, please do not attempt argu-"

"No! You need to listen. That is not you. That is the letter you hide behind. I've seen you. You're kind. You give people second chances at life. You are a good person who needs to get over the fact that he's not a perfect information processing machine!" L stared at me with wide eyes. "Besides, maybe I like selfish." This finally broke his serious air. He chuckled and pulled me towards him in an embrace.

"With an elder sibling such as your brother, I am not surprised," he commented.

"I overheard your conversation, you know," I admitted. This earned another laugh.

"I suspected you had. You are far too curious for your own good."

"You're lucky it wasn't Matsuda."

"I suppose I am. Though I am pleasantly surprised you are not angry though I claimed to possess you," he observed. I felt a flush creeping up my face.

"Ah…yes…well I already knew you weren't very good at sharing. I suppose in your eyes, I'm merely on lend to my family." When he said nothing, I spoke again. "That's where you laugh at how clever I am." He grinned wickedly at me.

"No, that is a fairly accurate description of our situation," L said.

"Ugh, you're terrible."

"Yes, I know," he murmured before kissing me.

~Author's Note~

There that's a bit better than last chapter. I got to write some deeper thoughts this time on Rei's part so that pleases me. Especially that they were morbid.

Thanks for reviewing!

L is alsomer than you: It's cool. I don't mind. *accepts marshMELLO* Love the username btw.

SweetHearts4L: I inspired you? Really? That's really cool! And the "paraplegic on a bicycle riding down a hill," shows you have some major promise in itself. You can totally open the next chapter! Just send me a PM with what you want to say so it'll be a surprise to everyone else.

yo-yo-moe: I'm glad you liked it! And I hope I've managed to counterbalance Rei's Marysuesque qualities since the first chapter.

Methodtothemadness: Thanks for the reassurances. I'm still a bit shaky with writing (especially romance) and I'm glad to know I'm still doing alright. The changing of voices thing is probably my biggest fault. I feel like I'm inconsistent and it bugs me. Thanks for the wonderful and encouraging review!

Clarice: Naughty naughty. I ain't telling you nothing bout nobody! Now ignoring my atrocious grammar, thank you for the enthusiastic response!