Matsuda: My turn! My turn! My turn!

TCLA: Yes. Yes it is.

Matsuda: TCLA doesn't own Death Note but she does own REI! Did I do it good?

TCLA: Yes. Yes you did my friend.

Chapter 25 Tension

The lights were off, leaving the room to be illuminated by the eerie glow of the monitors displaying Misa in captivity. I could just barely make out L's silhouette against the light, and beyond him…was Misa. I shivered at the thought. Misa still bound and blindfolded, though she was no longer gagged. I forced myself to read the documents in front of me. My distraction that L had provided.

This was all to help cure me of the turmoil of emotions I felt when I saw Misa's condition. The old fear and desire to flee that I had learned to repress and store in the darkest corner of my mind. And I did repress it, until I was unconscious. Then it all flooded back, mixed with new horrors and fears. Seeing my family die, or L, or anyone else along with seeing his smug face staring back at me, his lip curled up in triumph. Light…

My knuckles tightened at the sudden tension running through me. I stared at them numbly as they grew white. I finally unlocked my fingers and forced my body to relax, though the relief was short lived. A small crying sound made its way to my ears and I was on edge again. Misa's whimpers were even worse than simply seeing her. It left my mind to create the disturbing images that went along with the pitifully frail noise.

This was a nightmare. And what was even worse were the sympathetic looks that Matsuda and Aizawa kept casting in my direction. I didn't like being displayed as weak. I had to admit though, this constant exposure to the situation was helping, if only slightly. It was a bit easier every day, and I hadn't run away yet. However this progress was minimal. I was only dealing with a restrained Misa. L forced me to leave whenever interrogation methods besides speaking were used. Not that I protested.

I started when L's phone rang, a distraction from the quiet discussion L had been holding with Aizawa and Matsuda about Misa, that I had been attempting, and failing to ignore. The conversation was brief, and I assumed Light had been on the other end. Mogi would have contacted L through Watari. My stomach twisted unpleasantly. Light being in the same room as me on a good day was a bad thing. But if we were together while I was so…scattered, I was afraid of being manipulated back to his side.

The door swung open, Light had arrived. I stood, and made my way beside L needing some sort of support that wasn't Light. L kept focused on the screen in front of him, waiting for Light to speak. My own eyes flickered to the monitor, and I was relieved to see the feeling of nausea, while not fading entirely, had diminished somewhat. Light cleared his throat softly, and my eyes moved back to him.

"Ryuzaki," he murmured softly, "like I said on the phone…." His head dropped, shielding his eyes. "I could be Kira." That one sentence had us all reeling. He was admitting it? No, not admitting it, but suggesting it was possible. Dad was staggered, going as far to shake Light's shoulders.

"No Light! What are you talking about? Why would you even say something like that?" Dad demanded as the shaking became more violent. Light avoided Dad's glance and ignored the desperate jarring.

"Look Dad, if Ryuzaki is L, it's safe to say that he's the world's best detective. And right now he seems convinced I'm not Kira…. And we know L's never been wrong before," Light tried to explain to calm Dad.

"W-what are you saying Light? Stop this!" Dad demanded angrily.

"What about the FBI agent? Raye Penber. It was me he was investigating before he died. And I was in Aoyama on May twenty-second. Also I'm the first person in the Kanto region Misa, the alleged second Kira, approached. It's all been me." I watched in awe as Light stacked the evidence against himself. "If I were in L's place, even I would have come to the same conclusion." Light stared at his hands, as though they were dipped in blood. "You see, subconsciously, I may be Kira. If that were the case, I could be him and not even know it."

"No, Light," Dad interjected weakly.

"I-I'm not sure of anything anymore. I'd never kill someone, but unconsciously, who knows what I'm capable of. Another me could be killing people as I sleep."

"I'm afraid that's not possible," L added.

"Not possible…. What do you mean?" Light asked.

"Well, I never mentioned this to you, but at one point I had hidden surveillance cameras installed in your room for five days."

"Cameras?" Light asked. His eyes were too wide; begging us to believe in his honesty. It was an act. One intricately designed to finally clear his name.

"Yes, every single night you slept normally. Criminals whose names were broadcast continued to die, even though you had no way of knowing about them. But this didn't prove your innocence to me. All that it proved was if you were Kira, no amount of camera surveillance would reveal that fact," L informed.

"Wouldn't reveal that fact, huh?" Light muttered. "I don't know, it could be true. I have to admit, I've found myself thinking that some criminals deserve to die. If I can think like Kira, then how can I be sure I'm not actually him?" Light asked in distress.

"Hold on Light. I feel exactly the same way. I've found myself thinking before that some people would be better off dead. But still that doesn't mean we're gonna go out and kill people! Besides criminals were still being killed even though you had no knowledge of them. I mean the surveillance cameras proved it didn't they?" Matsuda interrupted. Aizawa sighed, before sending a hard look towards Light.

"Well, no. Because we were short on investigators at the time," Aizawa explained, "we only watched him while he was at home. Truth is, we weren't able to watch him every hour of the day. It's possible he could have found a way to kill those criminals while he wasn't at home."

"Honestly, I don't like the way this is going at all," L admitted and I knew he was reluctant to follow Light's lead. "But what choice do I have? Let's do it. I need you to fully restrain Light Yagami and place him in solitary confinement," L instructed.

"What! You can't!" Dad protested.

"You want to confine him? Seriously?" Matsuda asked skeptically.

"If we're going to do this it has to happen immediately," L said. He turned to Light. "From this point on, I can't allow you to go anywhere where I can't see you."

"This is crazy! There's no way my son could be Kira. My son's not capable of-"

"It's okay Dad."

"Stop this Light." Dad pleaded.

"Listen, something has to be done about this. As long as I'm having these doubts, I can't work with you to catch Kira." Light focused on L. "Ryuzaki, promise me this, until you can say with absolute certainty, I'm not Kira, you cannot set me free no matter what I might say or what condition I may be in."

"You have my word," L said solemnly. "Yagami-san, can you come up with some sort of excuse for Light's absence? Ah, Rei as well. Something to tell your family. And please do it now."

"But this is all so sudden, what should I say?" Dad asked in bewilderment.

"Rei?" L asked addressing me for the first time. I blinked in surprise as I said an excuse without thinking.

"Light's moving in with Misa and you don't approve. I'm siding with Light and we refuse to come home until you accept it." L nodded. Dad ignored this.

"I see no reason why Light should be imprisoned!" Dad continued in exasperation.

"Let it go, Dad. I if I don't do this I won't be able to live with myself," Light argued.

"But son, do you really mean that?" Light sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I believe that by giving up my very freedom I'll defeat this fear that Kira lurks within me." L gave a nod towards Aizawa who led him into another room, returning shortly with Light who was in different clothes as well as handcuffed with a blindfold and earplugs to prevent him from knowing where he was to be taken.

"Aizawa please take him away," L ordered.

"Right," Aizawa answered and he led Light away.

I sat in a chair next to L, staring at the two monitors displaying Light and Misa. The constant exposure to Misa's captivity hadn't lessened the trapped feeling anymore. I still couldn't bear to watch her. But I couldn't bear to not watch Light. Something inside me still wouldn't let go, and whenever I was awake I was watching him.

I hadn't left the hotel once since Light's confinement. It had been only a few days, but somewhere in the back of my mind it troubled me. I had never examined how interdependent I was on Light before. I of course had realized, I needed him, but I hadn't known to what proportions before. Even in seeing his cold expression, I couldn't force myself to tear my eyes away except when L ordered me to sleep. And then there was L.

L's constant presence next to me was soothing. Despite his lack of emotion as he monitored the suspected pair, I took comfort in him being there. The people behind me were constantly changing; in flux. Dad, Watari, Matsuda, Aizawa, Dad, Watari, Matsuda, Aizawa. L was simply there. Unmoving and emotionless, but he was there.

We ate little, and spoke less; limiting our conversations to actual interaction with Light and Misa. So when Dad actually addressed us, it was a surprise.

"Ryuzaki. I'd like to request that you take me off this investigation," Dad murmured, exhaustion clear in his voice. There were various cries from Aizawa and Matsuda, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. The constant silence had drained my energy. "I've thought about it, and the fact is, we're holding my son Light as a prime suspect. Given that, it's not appropriate for me to be here. When we spoke earlier, my feelings got in the way. It's impossible for me to be objective in this situation."

"I agree with you," L murmured sending a glance towards my dead expression. "We can't let personal feelings get in the way," he said more to himself than anyone else. He speared a piece of melon from the plate in front of him, removing the ham, and popped it into his mouth.

"And in truth, if the task force concluded that my son is Kira. I don't know what I'd be capable of," Dad admitted, fear obvious in his voice. L nodded.

"Yes, I agree with you there. To be honest I wondered what you might do. I believe you'd kill your son and then yourself." I winced, recalling the vivid memories I had of their lifeless bodies that plagued my nightmares as often as Light's smug face. "I'd also agree that it's best that we don't have you working here now." Dad's back straightened, and his face became determined.

"Ryuzaki, I will ask you to confine me as well," he said with resolve. "At the moment I'm calm, but to be honest I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." L speared another bite of melon.

"I thought you might say that so I spoke with Watari. He's made arrangements. But your confinement will be different. You will keep your cell phone turned on and maintain regular contact with family and friends. We won't tell Light about this. If he does call you at some point, he must be made to believe you're still at headquarters. While you are in confinement, we will be giving you continuous updates on the investigation so you will know what is happening. So how does that sound to you?" L finished, cramming the melon in his mouth.

"I'm grateful, thank you," Dad answered his voice weary.
L called Watari and Dad pulled me into a hug, a hasty, "I love you," whispered in my ear before he was gone. Now I was to be a witness to three people suffering. I stiffly went back to my chair, only dimly aware of the fact I hadn't responded to Dad. Matsuda was hovering on the outside field of my vision, his expression unsure.

"Um, Ryuzaki," he finally said nervously.

"Yes Matsuda," L answered boredly. Matsuda rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, don't you think…. I mean if the Chief is…if the Chief is having emotional problems, shouldn't Rei be taken off as well?" L paused for a moment before answering.

"And where do you suggest she is to go, Matsuda? She is unable to go home or to university and the remainder of her family is currently being held in captivity." Matsuda flushed. "For the moment I would prefer to have Rei under my watch if she were suddenly to behave irrationally." That ended the conversation and I realized L meant he was wanted me there to prevent me from attempting suicide if Light was found guilty. Under normal circumstances, that would have bothered me, but I let it slide, instead focusing on the third monitor that had flickered to life revealing my father.

Time passed strangely after that. I wasn't sure if it was the constant exposure to the bright glow of the monitors, or if it was my own mind playing tricks on me as a coping mechanism. Either way, I was only aware it was evening when Aizawa and Matsuda announced they were leaving. Since then I had only moved to slip my shoes off and mimic L's complimentary crouch. It gave me a sense of security to be curled up, as well as copying L.

I could feel myself slowly slipping into a state between awake and asleep, in which I stared blankly at the screens with little or no thought.

"Rei?" L asked in concern, the emotion welcome to me after hearing his monotone all day. I turned to him and blinked when I saw I had suddenly stood. I sank back into my seat and peered at the screens once more; everyone was asleep.

I could feel my breathing beginning to increase as a sudden tension overcame me. I needed to feel something. Sitting here. Watching. Being left prey to my own mind…it was killing me. I needed to feel.

In a rush of desperation, I felt myself move forward, and I was kissing him. My lips pushed against his feverishly as I tried to channel the emotions boiling inside me. He responded, cautiously, unsure of my intentions, though he did respond. This only increased my desperation. I needed that blinding raw outpour of emotion he had given me before. My fingers twisted in his dark knotted tresses and I tugged, trying to get more of a reaction. When it failed, I began to retreat, pulling away. And then he responded.

I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the kiss, and all thought left my mind. Something inside me took over, and I echoed harsh movements of his lips. When we pulled apart, I was the one who was left gasping for air. His lips simply moved to my neck, until I pulled his mouth back to mine.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. All I can recall is his flushed face when we finally did separate for good. He was panting, his normally thin lips full and red.

"I… I do not believe we should continue. I am unsure of how far this may progress," he said. I didn't say anything, instead leaning my head on his shoulder, waiting for sleep to over take me.

I awoke sometime early in the morning, my neck stiff. I sat up, my neck leaving L's shoulder. He apparently hadn't moved once in the night. I stretched and rolled my neck, trying to get rid of the ache in it. Despite my uncomfortable sleeping position, I felt better than I had in a while. I puzzled over the change, before the answer came to me.

"I don't have nightmares when I'm with you," I said in realization. L smiled slightly.

"Yes, I realized it as well. I believe that someone's presence keeps the dreams away. You experienced something similar with Light," he observed. I nodded, continuing to stretch. "You should eat something," he suggested. I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry," I answered sitting down again. He gave me a hard look.

"Rei, you have claimed not to be hungry for the past several days. If you do not eat soon you will collapse." I shrugged. L rolled his eyes, and sent a quick call to Watari, who emerged a few moments later with a food cart I assumed came from the hotel kitchen. Watari left again after that.

With a sigh, I stood to examine the cart's contents in order to please L. My eyes focused on a single red fruit shining among the other food. On its own accord, my hand reached forward, grabbing it. I stared at the apple blankly for a few minutes. My eyes shifted from the apple to a small balcony that adjoined to the small hotel room.

I strode towards it's purposefully. I fumbled with the curtains and lock on the door. I finally dragged the sheet of glass out of the way. I stepped out into the cool air, and shivered. I approached the railing and peered over the edge, seeing the still lit street lights as dawn just began. I raised my arm, dropped the apple and watched as it fell into the still empty streets.

I was back inside, watching intently as L spoke to Light. It had been a week since we had placed Light under surveillance. I hadn't gone outside since the apple incident. I had stood out there alone until L pulled me back inside.

"Yeah, I know I must look pretty bad in here," Light said in response to one of L's pointless questions on his health, "but this useless pride, I suppose I'll have to…get rid of it." I was focusing on Light's face when he spoke, so I saw the changes instantaneously.

His body relaxed, folding in itself slightly, rather than his ramrod straight poster. His jaw lost its harsh edge and his eyes softened, no longer holding the cold and calculating gaze I was so familiar with. He looked younger; vulnerable.

Light blinked in confusion, as though he was unsure what he was doing there. After a moment he started to speak again. "Ryuzaki!" L started in surprise. "I realize I was the one pushing for confinement," Light's eyes darted to the camera nervously, "and I asked you to put me here, but I just realized something important," he said earnestly. L tilted his head. "This whole thing is completely pointless! Because I'm not Kira!" he shouted desperately struggling against the handcuffs.

"I can't do that. I promised you that no matter what you said, I wouldn't let you out until I was convinced you were not Kira," L replied.

"Please L! I wasn't thinking clearly! Do you really think a serial killer like Kira could commit those crimes without being aware of them? If I have no memory of his crimes I'm not him!" Light cried out. L's stare hardened as he answered.

"I've never been able to accept this idea that Kira has never been acting without self-awareness all this time. But that doesn't change the fact that all the evidence points to you being Kira. Since we've imprisoned you Kira hasn't committed a single murder."

"Listen," Light implored in a frenzy of panic, "just hear me out! I swear to you I'm not lying! You have to believe!" Light begged. "I am not Kira! I must have been framed…" The discussion continued until Light talked himself hoarse and trailed off into silence.

I continued to watch as he curled up on the hard ground and I knew, without a doubt Light wasn't lying. He was telling the truth.

~Author's Note~

So…I'm a bit unsure of this chapter. I feel good about Rei's conflict about Light, Misa, and her dad's confinement. It's the romance bit I'm worried about. I have no, repeat no, experience at all. So, feedback would be much appreciated on that aspect. I feel that their relationship has developed enough so that the scene was acceptable, but….yeah. I also apologize for any typos. I only read through this once to get it up in time.

Thank you for all the wonderful encouraging reviews! You guys make my day every single time.

methodtothemadness: Thanks for the reassurance. It's nice to know I'm not alone in that aspect. And I know what you mean about FF mobile. I love it!

SweetHearts4L: Haha really. And I totally understand about not being able to do it. I'm really quite nice. No need to worry. As for the name…I wouldn't recommend naming them after a sweet. It's overdone a lot and will give readers a bad first impression. But if you use a name that isn't very well known as a desert, it could work.

lucy aka Jayne Foyer: Hey there bestest twin! First person is basically all I can handle right now, but you manage to rock that and third. And thank you! My success is all due to you who got me hooked on writing. Ugh. How I long to be included in your conversations…

Clarice: Aww. I make L even better? Best compliment ever! :D