i need an ambulance
i took, i took the worst of the blow
:-:
send me a redeemer
let me know if i'm gonna be alright
:-:
am i gonna be alright?
:-:
'cause i know how it usually goes
i know how it usually goes
:-:
"So, Finn, your mother tells me you play football."
Finn and Kurt were squished together in a booth across from their parents. Kurt was drawing pictures in the condensation on his drink. Finn had a mouthful of breadstick.
"Um, yeah. I've been playing since middle school."
Burt nodded appreciatively. "Tell me when your next game is. Kurt and I will come by to cheer you on."
Kurt nodded, obviously resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Uh-huh."
Finn felt his face heat up. The idea of Kurt in the stands, solely focused on Finn, cheering until his cheeks are flushed with exertion and his eyes are sparkling brightly, passionately-
"You got a girlfriend, Finn?"
Finn jumped, brought out of his inappropriate thoughts by Burt's seemingly innocent question. "Uh, no, sir. I mean, I did, but we just broke up and-"
"You and Quinn broke up?" Carole asked, masterfully hiding the approval in her voice. Kurt raised an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah," Finn admitted, not sounding all that broken-up about it. Carole looked smug, but concerned.
"What happened? Did you two fight?"
Kurt jumped in with, "Oh, Carole, he probably doesn't want to talk about it-" just as Finn said, "She told me to stop talking to Kurt."
Both Burt and Carole looked taken aback, and they exchanged a quick look before Carole said, "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. But it's for the better, right?"
Finn nodded, oblivious to Kurt's bright red cheeks. "Yeah. I didn't realize how selfish she was, or how shallow. Besides, I'm pretty sure Puck's totally in love with her, so he might as well get his chance." He nodded, like that was a typical "Bro-Code" thing to do.
Carole smiled happily, shooting a quick glance at Kurt, then said, "Well, thank you, Burt, for treating us to dinner like this. Anyone who is willing to feed my son is a friend in my book."
"Well, it's the least I can do for the family that helped save my son," Burt said, raising his glass. "A toast – to new friends."
"Cheers!" Carole tipped her glass to Burt's, grinning wildly. Kurt and Finn followed, less enthusiastic.
"Well, hopefully once Kurt testifies on Monday, we'll get enough over Figgins' head to suspend those boys." Burt took a swig of his drink. "They'll pay; we'll make sure of it."
"No." Kurt's eyes widened and he paled instantly. "Absolutely not."
Carole frowned. "Kurt, sweetie, you need to testify against those Karofsky brothers. They nearly killed you."
"And they will kill me if I get them into more trouble," Kurt said, fists clenched on top of the table. "Please, Dad, I can't do this. They'll come after me, with more than just slurs and slushies."
"They can't get away with this, Kurt," Burt said, slamming his hand down on the table. "It's not just bullying. It's a hate crime."
Finn watched as Kurt's face slowly turned green. Kurt had been denying his sexuality for so long, that Finn assumed he had never properly come out. But surely he couldn't expect his own father to not know?
"Dude, really, you need to tell Figgins your story. Sean deserves to go to jail for what he did to you."
Kurt kicked his shin under the table. "It's not worth it. Sean getting suspended is not worth me getting strung up the flagpole by my underwear or run over by a pickup truck."
"I won't let them do that to you, Kurt," Finn assured the smaller boy, voice low and gravelly. Kurt's eyes met his, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still.
"It's not an option, kiddo," Burt said. "You're doing it."
Narrowing his eyes, Kurt swiped his arm across the table and knocked Finn's soda into his lap. The two boys jumped up at once, Finn freaking out from the sudden cold and Kurt worrying over the state of Finn's jeans.
"Here, let me help you clean that up," he said, leading Finn out of the booth and towards the bathroom. Burt and Carole exchanged another look, but stayed quiet as their sons disappeared around the corner.
"How many girlfriends has he had?" Burt asked, eyebrow raised.
"Two." Carole paused. "And one was in second grade."
"Hmm."
Finn stumbled across the threshold as Kurt locked the door, anger painted across his face. "What the hell, Finn? Why are you siding with them?"
"What?" Finn stared dumbfounded at Kurt as the small boy grabbed a wad of paper towels and ran them under the sink. "What are you talking about?"
"Our parents!" Kurt cried, shoving the paper towels into Finn's hand. "You know it's a bad idea! Why couldn't you just side with me?"
"Dude." Finn stopped wiping at his pants to give Kurt a serious look. "You have to turn those guys in."
"No."
For the first time, Finn watched as Kurt's eyes filled with tears. Against the white tile wall of the Breadstix bathroom, he looked so thin, so small – so vulnerable. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and his cheeks were starting to look a little gaunt.
"Don't you see, Finn?" He asked, voice cracking with emotion. "I have to spend four years in the shit hole of a school." Finn winced. "I'm not going to hide who I am…" He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. "But I'm not going to push those meatheads to homicide. I just need to survive four years, Finn." He looked up, a new fire in his eyes. "And then I'm gone."
The idea of never seeing this strange boy again made Finn's chest ache. But maybe Finn could go to New York? His mom would be proud of him, and he could learn to like the city-
"They need to pay, Kurt. They need to see that they can't get away with this kind of thing." Finn pouted at his shoes. "I can keep you safe."
"I know that you would try valiantly," Kurt murmured, resting his hand on Finn's cheek. "But nothing will keep me safe. Not for long. Not if I turn those boys in."
Finn sighed in defeat. "Can I still put Nair in their shampoo bottles?"
Kurt looked at him in surpise. "They use shampoo? Huh. Never would have guessed that."
:-:
"Kurt."
Kurt turned stiffly in his seat to face his dad. Rain had started to fall, and the traffic was thinning as they drew closer to home.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"You know I'm just trying to do what's best for you, right?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah, Dad."
"And I'm still angry with you for lying to me about your injury."
"Yeah, Dad."
"And I love you no matter what, right?"
"Yeah…Dad?"
"Yes, Kurt?"
"You know I'm gay, don't you?"
Burt nodded, a sad smile on his face. "Of course. I've known since you were three and all you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. But I was waiting for you to tell me."
Kurt blushed. "Oh. Well…I am. Gay, that is."
"Thank you for telling me, Kurt."
"You don't hate me?"
Burt looked over, appalled. "Kurt, you are my son. I will love you until the day I die, no matter what."
Kurt blinked back tears. "Thanks, Dad."
"Oh, c'mere." Burt stopped on the side of the road, pulling Kurt into a hug. The smaller boy melted into his father's arms, and finally let out a small sob. "I love you, Kurt."
"I love you, too, Daddy."
They sat in silence for a moment, then pulled apart, weights lifted from both of their shoulders. Kurt wiped the lingering tears from his eyes and Burt pulled back onto the road, a small smile on his face. The rain outside didn't seem so dreary anymore.
"Well, when we get inside we should start a fire. It's getting chilly out- WHAT THE HELL?"
Burt slammed on the brakes in front of their house, fuming. There, on the quaint, white exterior of their humble abode, the word FAG was spray painted in huge, black letters.
Both Hummel men jumped from the car, in states of pure shock. Kurt's hands trembled violently.
All of the windows were smashed in, and eggs yolks were splattered across the front door, their shells on the ground. Burt threw his baseball cap to the ground in fury.
"God dammit!" He yelled. Kurt sank to the ground, entire body shaking with fear and anger. "Kurt. Kurt." Kurt looked up, willing his tears to disappear. "Call Carole. You can't sleep here tonight."
:-:
When Finn and his mom pulled up to the Hummel house, Burt was standing on the lawn, talking with a police officer. Kurt was on the curb, shaken and so, so small.
"Oh my God…" Carole breathed, racing from the car over to Burt. Finn got out and knelt by Kurt, almost afraid to touch him he looked so fragile. Finn was overcome with fear of this new, weak Kurt.
"Kurt," he murmured, watching as rivulets of rain danced down the boy's face. Kurt said nothing.
"Kurt," Finn said again, a little louder. Kurt looked up, blue/green/grey/fucking beautiful eyes wide and scared. "C'mon. Time to go home."
He helped his friend into the back of his mom's car. Carole was now frantically yelling at the police officer, who looked scared shitless from the dynamic-duo that was Carole Hudson and Burt Hummel. She finally gave up, hugged Burt, and returned to the car, fuming.
"People in this town…" She grumbled and turned the car on angrily. Finn buckled Kurt in, and the three of them rode home in silence.
"You can go up and take a shower, Kurt, if you want. You're shivering," Carole said as they arrived at Chez Hudson, voice much softer than it had been. "Finn'll get you some warm clothes."
Kurt nodded, muttering a small, "Thank you," before shuffling off into the house. Finn hung back, wrapping an arm around his mom's shoulder.
"Oh, Finny…" she sighed, leaning into his side. "If I could, I would send him so far away from Lima that he'd never hear a word of abuse again."
"No!" Finn panicked; Kurt couldn't leave. Not so soon. Not until Finn could go with him-
"What?" Carole raised an eyebrow at her son. Finn blushed.
"I mean…he wants to fight this battle and stick up for himself and I agree and-" His voice grew small. "Not so far away. Not now."
Carole's eyes grew watery. "Oh, sweetie." She patted his cheek affectionately, then stood on her tiptoes to peck his forehead. "Let's get inside. You'll catch your death out here."
Finn, still red-faced from his Freudian slip, dashed inside and loped up the stairs, ignoring his mother's scolds for tracking mud into the house. He heard the water in the shower turn on, and the splash of a small body stepping under the jets.
A low hum came from under the bathroom door, a sweet, sad melody that Finn had never heard before. He hovered outside the room, listening intently.
"There's a lightburning bright, showing me the way. But i know where I've been." Finn slid down to the floor, back to the door. He could feel the warmth of the room at his fingertips, and he could only imagine Kurt right now – thin, pale, hunched over with fear, but with that passionate gleam in his eyes as he sang.
"There's a cryin the distance. It's a voicethat comes from deep within. There's a cry,asking why – I pray the answer's up ahead."
Finn's breath hitched, and he closed his eyes, absorbed in the boy's song. In his mind, he saw pale hands trailing across a soapy torso, pink lips open in song, tears mingling with shower water; a bold scar sticking out beneath dark, wet locks of hair, and rivers of soap running down in waterfalls over those thin shoulders, that prominent collar bone-
"There's a dreamin the future. There's a strugglewe have yet to win. And there's pridein my heart, 'cause I knowwhere I'm going,and I know where I've been."
A warm feeling flooded over Finn, and he felt his eyes fluttering. The strength in Kurt's voice, the pride, the beauty – it was overwhelming. Finn could honestly say he'd never met anyone like Kurt Hummel, and he never would again.
The song stopped and the water turned off. Finn snapped back to reality and ran to his room to grab the same pajamas he had lent Kurt before. He dropped them off outside the bathroom, then jumped onto his bed and buried his face into his pillow.
A few minutes later, a disheveled, damp Kurt shuffled into the room. "Thanks for the clothes. Should I take the couch?"
Finn shook his head. "We can…" He paused, but the idea was out of his mouth before he could make a rational judgment. "We can just share my bed. It's warm and you're…"
"It's okay, Finn. I'll take the couch, really."
In a moment of madness, Finn threw out his arm and pulled Kurt down onto the bed next to him. The smaller boy squeaked in protest, wriggling in Finn's grasp.
"That song you were singing was really pretty," Finn said, pushing a damp strand out of Kurt's face. "What was it?"
Kurt blushed. "Um. I Know Where I've Been, from Hairspray." Finn's face was blank. "It's a musical, Finn. A classic."
"Oh. Cool." Finn pulled his blanket over both of them, smiling sleepily. "I'm sorry about the vandil- vadan- venda-"
"Vandalism."
"Yeah. I'm really sorry about that. I swear to you, I will find out who did it, and I'll kick their asses."
Kurt gave him a sad grin. "Please don't. It won't make it any easier for me."
Finn gave a defeated sigh, and – clearly insane by this point – wrapped his arms around Kurt, drawing the boy closer. Kurt stiffened, but relented. "I wish I could make things easier for you."
A small whimper came from Kurt, and he launched himself at Finn, arms tangling around the taller boy's neck. "You already have. Thank you."
Finn said nothing, but smiled into Kurt's hair, holding the boy close. There was something right about the way they fit together – they were made for each other.
And, oddly enough, the thought didn't scare Finn like it should have.
:-:
"Did you like our little present, Hummel?"
Kurt looked up from his locker to see Sean Karofksy and his posse standing in front of him, smirks on their faces.
"It was a little tacky, don't you think?" Kurt drawled, slamming the locker shut. "And so overdone. You're seriously lacking in creativity, aren't you?"
Sean slammed him back against the wall, fuming. "I'll show you creativity, you little cock-sucker."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Clever. Never heard that one before."
Sean pulled his fist back, poised to attack, when a harsh voice called out from behind them, "Break it up, you big pack of hairless monkeys. You! 'Roid Rage! My office! NOW."
Kurt looked up to see Sue Sylvester, the infamous and possibly dangerous cheerleading coach, glaring at Sean and the others like they were scum beneath her feet. By her side were two of her Cheerios – the dark-haired, utterly bored Santana Lopez and the blonde, spacey, and slightly dim Brittany Pierce.
As Sean slinked off after Coach Sylvester, Kurt escaped down the hall and slipped into the auditorium, the one place he knew no jock would ever set foot in. He collapsed into a seat and let out a deep, shaky breath.
"Kurt?"
Brittany was standing by his seat, eyes wide and curious. "You're Kurt, right?" He nodded. "Coach Sylvester wants to talk to you."
"Thanks," he murmured, standing up. Surprisingly, the cheerleader took his hand and they walked from the auditorium together.
"I think you're really cool, Kurt," Brittany told him as they drew closer to the coach's office. "Like, you rock the lady-clothes and you smell awesome and you're so brave to be gay. I could never be that brave."
"Um, thanks, Brittany," Kurt said, taken aback. "But what do you mean-?"
"Me and Santana. We…I love her. I like guys, but I love Santana, but we can't…she can't…I'm jealous of you, Kurt. And I hope you find a guy to be brave with. 'Cause boy kisses are almost as awesome as sweet lady kisses."
Kurt blushed, but squeezed the girl's hand in encouragement. "If you really love each other, Brittany, you'll make it work."
"Thanks, Kurt. Don't let Coach scare you," she said, kissing his cheek.
Kurt laughed humorously as the cheerleader walked away, then opened the door to Coach Sylvester's office. She was sitting behind her desk, oddly menacing in her red tracksuit.
"Come in, Lady Face. Sit down." Kurt obeyed, feeling the color drain from his face. "You're probably wondering why you're here-Ah, Shankar. Good of you to join us."
Kurt turned to see Principal Figgins inching into the room, looking as scared as Kurt felt.
"Sit down," Sue commanded. "Now – Gay Kid, Figgins – it's time to settle a few things." She turned to Kurt, eyes narrowing. "Let's start with your side of the story, eh, Porcelain?"