TCLA: And now we're back with some plot. Sort of. Yotsuba is mentioned at least.

Sayu: Awwwwww. But I like annoying Rei!

TCLA: She's not really your sister you know…right?

Sayu: SHE'S NOT?

TCLA: No. Rei is made up. Well. You are too. But in a different canonverse.

Sayu: Trippy… TCLA does not own Death Note only a few OCs and original scenes!

Chapter 35 Seperate

I spun absently on the many chairs that littered the lobby. After a few weeks of practice, I had managed to do it soundlessly without disturbing anyone else actually allowed to work. The blending of colors and images was interesting. It was a kaleidoscope of black and white eventually blending together into an omnipresent gray. There were occasional splashes of color; the red of a tie, the brown of a pair of scuffed dress shoes, or the pastels of L's deserts.

Sighing softly, I put my feet on the ground, watching as the world continued to twirl dizzily about me. I focused my gaze on the ceiling and started tracing patterns that didn't exist. Boredom was finally beginning to affect me. I needed to do something.

I fixed my eyes at L. he was currently perched in his own swivel chair, unconventionally peering over the back of the chair rather than facing the monitors. He was bored as well. I couldn't help but smile at watching him stare at nothing, lost in his own thoughts.

It was almost ridiculous the level of affection, no love, that I felt for the eccentric man. It was…nice. Not to mention surprising. But even more surprising was that he returned the feeling. It was like a storybook come to life, only the stakes were a little higher. A Shakespearian tale meeting one of the Grimm brother's. That felt more accurate. Just enough drama to require adding the Bard into the equation.

"Ryuzaki," Light started bringing L and I out of our mental musings, "I know you're not feeling up to it, but come over here a second." L slid the chair over expertly, not once losing his balance on the spinning death trap that Matsuda was often dumped out of. Light gestured to the monitor. "Take a close look at this, it can't be coincidence. All of them were prominent Japanese businessmen; CEOs whose companies are leaders in their respective industries. In over just a month they all died of heart attacks."

L's mouth parts slightly; the only way I know he's even remotely surprised or impressed. He hides it quickly by pressing his thumb to his lips. My interest is piqued as well, and on slightly unsteady legs I walk over.

"As expected," Light went on, bringing several graphs and charts onto the screen, "there's been a general downturn in the market with the exception of Yotsuba. In other words, their deaths have worked in Yotsuba's favor. Looking back, there've been similar deaths during the past three months. Your thoughts?" Light asked before speaking again, adding an afterthought. "Based on this, I can only conclude Kira is supporting Yotsuba."

"Could be…" L considers softly, "but if what you're theorizing is true, we can assume punishing criminals is not this Kira's real intent."

"Right," Light agreed. "Punishing criminals is a diversion for him. It obscures the fact that he's actually killing people for the benefit of his company. Are you…" Light smirked at his dark haired counterpart, "'feeling' a bit more motivated now?"

"Perhaps, Light" L smirked back. "But I'm curious as to what Rei has to say on the subject." He turned to me expectantly.

"Wait…so I'm allowed to work now?" I teased.

"I suppose so…"

What did I think on the situation? Rather than thinking things through in my head first. I decided to think aloud.

"…it shows how rare the kind of person the first Kira was," I finally decided upon. Both L and Light focused on me now.

"How so?" Light encouraged.

"The very thought of using this…power, gift, curse, whatever it is, as a method of ridding the world of criminals is so…pure. The idealistic personality alone is impressive, but the fact the first Kira didn't fall prey to worldly temptations such as this Kira. He proved he was human; both by killing in anger and as a preemptive strike, but still, how he operates is almost innocent in a way. Not like this third Kira. He fell susceptible to greed and such early on, and the fact he helped Yotsuba is almost like he's begging to be caught. I suppose I just find the sort of conviction the first Kira showed to be…admirable."

L stared at me, trying to riddle out what I just said. I didn't regret saying it, I was telling the truth.

"You admire Kira," L finally said.

I couldn't help but look at Light. L followed my gaze, understanding showing in his face.

"I suppose I do."

The silence that followed wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but there was a sort of tension between the three of us. This was broken though, by the sound of a door opening.

"Hey Chief!" Matsuda said cheerily. Dad stepped into the room, Mogi following close behind. "I've got some great news! This is amazing! I'm not even sure how he figured it out, but Light has a theory that Kira is somehow involved with the Yotsuba group! Can you believe it?"

"Yotsuba?" Dad asked his voice low.

"Uh…yes," Matsuda answered confusion obvious in his tone. Dad nodded to himself.

"That's probably it. Good work."

"Huh?"

Dad sighed heavily and brushed his hair back from his face.

"I just spoke with the director," he began slowly. "It seems Kira offered bribes to a number of politicians. So that's that. The police caved in to him."

A gasp ran through the room, and Light jumped to his feet. Surprise quickly faded into disgust that the police force would cave so quickly. It was rather obvious Kira wasn't omnipotent, that the police actually believed Kira would know if they continued to pursue him was almost laughable. All the police had to do was stop persecuting Kira publicly.

"Mogi and I have already made up our minds on this. Aizawa and Matsuda, if you wish to continue working on this case, you'll have to hand in your letter of resignation to the NPA just as Mogi and I are going to do. Like it or not, you cannot pursue Kira as a member of the police force any longer," Dad finished gruffly.

"Fine with me," I said immediately, my eyes flashing. "Not like I had a real position there anyway."

"H-hold on a second, Chief," Aizawa stuttered, shock for once depriving him of his fiery temper.

"They made it quite clear," Dad dismissed. "If you continue to work with L, you'll be fired. That's all there is to it." Matsuda's brow furrowed.

"So then Chief you're gonna…" Matsuda trailed off. Dad squared his shoulders, conviction showing in his stance.

"In a few hours, I'm no longer going to be your Chief. However, we all have our own lives. So think it over carefully."

"That's true Chief…especially if you've got a family to support."

There was a brief silence. This decision was easy for everyone with the exception of one; Aizawa. L interrupted the quiet, bringing everyone's focus to him.

"If you want my opinion, you'd be better off as police officers. I was…" L searched for the proper word, "alone," L finished, "when I started this case. Though I'm grateful to all of you for staying as long as you have, I know that I can do this by myself. I'll be sure to visit you at the department and bring you Kira's head as a reward for all you sacrificed," L promised.

He sounded so sad. Lonely. Not anymore though. Light and I wouldn't let him wallow in this.

"Ryuzaki, as long as I'm with you won't be working alone. You have my word on that," Light swore.

"Do you really think I'm going to leave the two of you alone? You'll work yourselves to death. I'm not leaving you either," I added. L's lips quirked into a small smile.

"Hmm, that's right. I'll have Light and Rei working with me until we catch Kira, so I won't be alone after all. However, as I said, I think the rest of you should remain police officers," L repeated.

"But when you first contacted us, you said you would need the help of the police in order to solve this case," Dad pointed out in confusion.

"That's because the police as an organization were still hoping to arrest Kira. They were not bowing to him. Besides with all due respect, there's a big difference between the help of two or three civilians and the police as an organization." L popped a cluster of cherries into his mouth. "As you said, the police made their position clear, they don't want to catch Kira, so let's leave it at," L said darkly.

I bristled at the civilian comment, but didn't say anything. If L noticed the thin line my mouth had become, he didn't say anything.

"Well I suppose what you're saying makes sense," Dad admitted. "If we're not police officers anymore, we won't be of much use to you. However, we're all personally involved in the case. All of us have risked our lives to catch Kira…doesn't that give us the right to decide whether we stay here or rejoin the police force?"

I felt a swell of pride at that. Dad had hit the nail on the head exactly. They did have the right. What I couldn't understand was why L was being so difficult.

"Good point." L pulled out a cherry stem that he had tied in a knot out of his mouth. "Then by all means make your decision."

"But Chief wait," Aizawa interjected, "if you quit your job with the police force, you'll be unemployed. Even if we do catch Kira, what are you going to do after that?" Dad considered this for a moment.

"After that…I hadn't really thought of it. But I suppose after we catch Kira, I'll have to dust off my resume." Dad grinned. This served as all the encouragement Matsuda needed.

"Count me in!" he yelled exuberantly. "I'm gonna quit the police force and chase Kira too Chief! And I still have my job as Misa Misa's manager! Besides, if I stayed on as a police officer, I'd fell like a total loser!"

"Think before you open your mouth, Matsuda," Dad sharply cut across the younger man's words.

Matsuda glanced sheepishly at Aizawa. He was clenching his fists and facing the ground, visibly shaking. In a burst of desperation he spun towards L.

"Is there any way I could still keep my job and help you in my spare time?" he asked.

"There isn't. If you remain the part of a police officer, please don't come back here," L said coldly.

I couldn't understand L's reasoning. He hadn't acted this distant since the beginning of the case, where we were all strangers. Hell he had even tested us… I froze. He wouldn't. I carefully retraced L's exact words. The sharp negatives and refusals. The cold demeanor. He was testing us. I balled my fists into copies of Aizawa's.

"But you know I won't leak any information!"

"I won't be sharing any more information. You're free to pursue Kira on your own if you want to. But I don't think it's fair to your families to burden them by giving up your livelihood just to continue this. I can't see that as a good idea," L finalized.

"It's as Ryuzaki says," Dad said softly. "No one here is going to blame you for quitting."

"Yeah," Matsuda added. "We all understand why you've gotta do this."

"But the Chief has a family too," Aizawa said through gritted teeth. Dad placed his hand on Aizawa's shoulder. His eyes went to Light and I and then back to Aizawa.

"Our situations are completely different," he attempted to console Aizawa.

"Damn it! To leave now after all we've been through." Aizawa choked slightly on the words. "I was prepared to die if that's what it took to catch him, and I meant it. What kind of friend would I be to Ukita if I quit now! I became a detective to catch the bad guys, not run away!"

I bit my tongue, deciding to give L the benefit of the doubt. I had promised to trust him.

The monitor behind us flashed to life, Watari's voice streaming through.

"Ryuzaki, early on in the investigation you specifically told me if a task force member were to lose their job under any circumstances, I should make preparations to ensure their families financial future was secure." Aizawa and I stopped breathing. "If you recall," Watari continued, "a trust was set aside for that very purpose. I'm a little curious as to why you're withholding this information."

"This is not the time or the place Watari," L quietly reprimanded.

"…I'm sorry." The monitor went dark. Oblivious as always, Matsuda broke through the tension coming from Aizawa and the more subtle anger coming from me.

"NO WAY! So all this time we've had nothing to worry about? There ya go Aizawa! Isn't that great news?" Matsuda smiled happily.

"Great news," I muttered darkly, resisting adding a biter laugh at the end.

"Ryuzaki," Aizawa spat out, "I assume that was some kind of test to determine how committed I was to the task force."

"It's not like that Aizawa!" Dad said hurriedly attempting to prevent another brawl. "Ryuzaki's just not the type to say things directly. You should know that by now."

"Yeah that's right!" Matsuda nervously threw out.

"No," L negated. "I was testing you. I wanted to see which one you would choose."

"Ryuzaki!"

"Fine then," Aizawa growled. "If I wasn't sure before, I am now!"

"But Aizawa!" It didn't matter if the pleas came from Dad or Matsuda, his expression made his choice clear. Light and I stayed silent.

"Let's face it," Aizawa exclaimed bitterly. "I wasn't able to decide right away like you guys, I was leaning towards going back to the police." Aizawa roughly ran his fingers through his hair.

"Come on Aizawa," Matsuda whispered. "Don't be so stubborn!"

"NO! I quit! I know this for sure! I've always hated Ryuzaki! I hate him and his way of doing things!" Aizawa spun on his heel storming through the exit.

"That's too bad," L murmured, "because I like you Aizawa."

Aizawa stopped for a moment, trembling.

"I also hate the way you've always got to have the last word! You insult me, then say something like that? That's it I'm out of here!"

The door slammed shut, the quiet only broken by final words on L's part.

"Thank you for everything."

At these words, the words he hadn't even been able to say to Aizawa's face, I snapped. The anger I had been hiding behind a clenched jaw and fists broke free, flowing through to my arm.

The resounding slap the contact of my hand against his pale cheek resounded through the lobby, echoing. My eyes were blurry, with tears I suppose, but it didn't prevent me from seeing the hurt expression on his face. The look of absolute betrayal.

I fled.

I ran for the elevator, ignoring the sounds from behind me that could have been my name. I flung myself inside the lift, hurriedly hitting the buttons, knowing it would be faster than the stairs. I leaned heavily against the doors, resolving not to cry until I got into my room.

The elevator shuddered to a stop, and I stumbled when the doors slid open. I pushed forward blindly to my room, pressing my palm to the scanner. I opened the door in relief and slammed it behind me.

I sagged in the middle of the room, hating the absolute blankness of it. I was going to be swallowed in the white. I brushed back my tears and saw the stupid bandages still wrapped around my fingers. I tore them off with my teeth and pulled the sling off as well.

Why had I humored him? Because I loved him? After that cruel petty display of power I loved him? I did. It wouldn't hurt like this if I didn't.

I felt, rather than heard him enter the room. I could feel the caution emitting from him, as well as hurt and confusion. He didn't understand. Well I wasn't bloody explaining it to him.

I got to my feet glaring at him. He stared warily back, the imprint of my hand still visible, blood against the snow. He stepped forward slowly waiting for a reaction. I didn't disappoint.

I shoved against his chest wanting to hurt him just a little bit. He was immobile, and eventually my efforts weakened. I sagged to the ground. He followed, leaning back on his heels as always.

We sat there for a few moments.

"You are angry," he finally said. "Why?" I looked back at him, mustering a glare.

"Because you were cruel. Because you forced Aizawa to make one of the most difficult choices of his life. Because you showed me you really were just a holier than thou god damn letter on a screen, Ryuzaki. Take your pick."

"I don't understand why this upsets you." God I wanted to hit him again.

"Let me make it simple for you. You can choose between everyone you've ever known. Everyone you've loved, befriended, admired, doted upon, supported." I tossed my head heatedly. "Or you can capture Kira. I suppose the choice isn't hard for you, but I hope you felt the slightest bit of anguish at the choice."

"I do feel it Rei," he said wearily. "I am not as emotionless as you just made me out to be. Cowardly, yes. Petty. Cruel," he nodded. "But I am not cold. Not anymore. I apologize for my behavior, but I would like to know why it invoked such a strong reaction from you."

I sighed heavily, pulling at my hair. "Because. You weren't Ryuzaki right now. You were L. You weren't real." He stared at the ground.

"But I am L. And Ryuzaki. I am both Rei. I don't understand why you attempt to separate these two parts of me." I shook my head fiercely.

"I know that. Would you like to know something? I always call you L in my mind. Always. It's not Ryuzaki and L I'm seeing as separate. It's the man sitting here and the one locked away in a room." I grabbed one of his hands and squeezed. "There is a difference there." I softly kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki."

"I prefer L." I blinked.

"What?"

"L is my preferred alias. It feels…more personal. It is constant."

"L then."

"I love you."

"I love you too," I responded easily. "By the way, where is Light?" I asked noticing the absence of handcuffs.

"…downstairs."

"You knocked him out again didn't you."

"He ordered me to chase after you. He understood what that entailed."

"RYUZAKI!"

~Author's Note~

So I still managed a little fluff :3 So sue me. There is plot in this one, so there.

This scene has always fascinated me. Just both L and Aizawa's reactions. If you haven't seen this scene in the anime, the English dub is fantastic. Aizawa and L…wow. At the end of the scene, I almost get the feel Aizawa was grateful for the excuse to leave and be with his family. Especially with the little sob scene with his daughter and wife. I don't know. Just before Aizawa's last lines, he looks like he's about to cry and that it's because of what L said (the nice part).

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! You guys make my world go round!

World without L is just a word: No. The t-shirts will be fantastic. I'm seriously finding a site that'll let me do that. And I'll post pics on my FB. I've always loved Sayu. Little siblings just get to me. But I'm glad I make all the characters better. Haha pirates…I'm gonna kidnap Jonny Depp and force him into L Cosplay. FOR FOREVER AND ALWAYS! Rei, is going to seriously test my restraint by forcing me to keep this teen rated. So implied lemon. But not the real thing. Hetero sex is just too hard (I've already written a yaoi lemon).

K: Pft. Hells yes!

AlbinoButterfly: Yes, but unfortunately, we've gotta wait until the idiocy that is the Yotsuba arc has ended.

Pc: You're atheist? Why is this shocking…?

Grrr: I will save you in about thirty chapters B. Which is about thirty weeks XD. So hang in there. Seriously. Keep reviewing like this. Makes me giggle every single time. Like a madwoman. I wanna cosplay…. I could do Rei, but I'm not pretty enough DX. Oh well. B's already out of the closet. I wrote a yaoi fic about him and L once (not posted of course). You topped B. So no worries.

Katybugg: MWAHAHAHA YES MY SERVANT! You should be worried now :3

Gwen: YOU'RE SO NICE TO ME T.T Thank you!