Strong sexual content warning.
CH 3: Cold Comfort
He'd kissed her… He'd actually kissed his own ward. Leaning against his podium, Will gazed out at the empty classroom and blinked. Even now, after all these hours of allowing the sordid information to sink in, it all still seemed so surreal. And Abigail hadn't exactly pushed him away, either… Did that mean she wanted him?
"Will?"
He jerked to attention, flustered when Alana Bloom came walking toward him.
"It's too nice a day to be alone, don't you think? Come on. A few agents have invited me out to lunch, and I'd love it if you could join us."
Will stared back at her, his mind reeling with a million options of how to politely say no. Alana was a very beautiful woman, so why wasn't he interested?
'It's because she doesn't understand you,' his mind taunted. 'She'll never know you like Abigail.'
"Shut up," he hissed. "Just shut up!" Whacking at the side of his head, he only pretended to brush back his hair when he realized Alana was gawking at him.
"Will, are you feeling alright?" she asked. "You seem a little…tense."
Well that was the biggest understatement of the century. Had he said anything out loud? And if so, how much had Alana heard?
He jerked back when she touched his arm. "If sessions with Dr. Lecter aren't working, you know where to find me." Here she smiled and ran her hand down along his elbow.
Will nodded and moved away from her, limbs trembling as he began to pack up his briefcase. "Uh-huh, sure…thank you."
"I'm sorry you won't be joining us."
"Yeah, me too."
Giving him one last searching look, Alana finally settled on a weak smile and left him alone to the prison of his mind. At this rate, Will would never get anything accomplished. Crawford was still expecting results for the Van Gogh murders. How could he even dream of solving the case when Abigail was constantly haunting him?
He needed to go home, he decided. If he got the chance to rest, even for a little while, it was possible that he could finally concentrate.
When a gentle knocking roused Will from his light slumber, he groaned into his pillow and curled up like a cat. Perhaps it was Alana again? Her persistence was starting to get on his nerves.
Staggering out of bed, he padded out into the hallway and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Aside from his wild, disheveled hair, he didn't seem to realize his state of dress when he opened the door. Unfortunately for him, Abigail Hobbs did.
"Um…hi," she hesitantly greeted. Sending a discreet glance toward his tight boxers, she blushed and raised her eyes to his again. "Are you…seeing someone in there?"
Will gave her a funny look. "Huh? What do you…? Oh." Suddenly getting her meaning, he cleared his throat and assured her, "No, no, I was just sleeping – is something wrong?" He indicated the overnight bag in her arms.
Shifting uncomfortably beneath his scrutiny, Abigail shrugged and mumbled, "I dunno, I just…can I stay here tonight? I'm afraid of having another nightmare…"
Will felt bile rise in the back of his throat. "B-but what about Dr. Bloom? And the hospital? Haven't they been helping you?"
"Well sure, but they can't be with me every waking hour of the day." Now stepping forward, she grabbed Will's wrist and stroked along the veins in his arm. "Please, Will," she begged, "please don't make me wake up alone tonight. I couldn't stand it."
With his heart thudding hollowly in his ears, he regarded her with an ever-growing caution. Was she trying to trick him? Was this her way of seeking revenge for his actions?
And yet, in spite of his fears and innermost demons, Will knew he could never deny her. He cared far too much about Abigail. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he ushered her into the house and agreed, "Yeah, sure… You can stay in the guest bedroom at the end of the hall."
When Abigail thanked him, her arms came around his waist in a grateful squeeze. "I promise I'll keep to myself," she assured him. "Heck, you won't even know I'm here!" As she pulled away, Will could've sworn he felt her hand lightly graze his backside. Oh, God…was he hallucinating right now? There was no way she could ever want him like that – none at all. With any luck, she'd meet some boy in school, then forget all about him ever having touched her. Problem solved.
"Do you have any clothes?"
Will snapped to attention, realizing that she'd dropped off her things and was now standing back in front of him. "Uhh…well yeah, of course I do. Why do you ask?"
"I figured you might want to wear some," she teased. With a twinkle in her eye, Abigail collapsed into an easy chair and reclined so that her legs were suspended. As she did so, the skirt she was wearing rode up her thighs to an indecent degree.
Will swallowed. Just like in the hospital, he couldn't tell whether or not she was doing these things on purpose. And if she was, what was she hoping to do? Drive him mad?
"Can I watch TV?"
"Uhh…" Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs from his mind, he gave an uneasy smile and agreed, "Yeah, sure… Just don't go past channel 500. That stuff's a little hardcore for someone your age."
"Oh, please. I'm not a kid anymore, Will – I think I can handle some porn." Thrilled when he stared at her in horror, she snidely asked him, "What, cat got your tongue? Or maybe Dr. Bloom?"
Though he'd more than likely imagined it, Will could've sworn there was a hint of jealousy in Abigail's voice.
He breathed a nervous laugh. "No, no – I'm not used to having company, that's all. It's just been me and my dogs lately."
"Bummer," Abigail said. "I think I'd go crazy if I lived out here all by myself… Or rather, crazy-er."
Will exhaled through his nostrils. Is that what Abigail believed? Did she think he was crazy?
"Hey, why don't you join me?"
He immediately looked up, appearing uncomfortable as she scooted over and patted the spot beside her. "I…I don't think I should…"
"Oh, c'mon! Is this because of our kiss?" Abigail searched his face, unable to prevent a small smile when he visibly paled. "Don't worry, I've had worse," she assured him. "If you really want to make it up to me, you should be a good friend and rub my shoulders. You did a real number on them when you pushed me away yesterday." She paused. "Oh, and for the record? You're a total spaz."
Will blinked, wondering how he'd suddenly found himself sucked into such a fantastical scenario. Despite the warning bells going off inside his head, he hesitantly approached her and stood behind the chair.
"Good boy," Abigail teased. Now brushing her hair forward, she sat up straight and cleared her throat. "Well? Are you going to get to rubbing, or what? I wasn't joking when I said I was sore."
"I…sorry." Uncertain, Will lightly placed his hands on her shoulders and closed his eyes. Where his thumbs traced along her bare skin, he felt as if he were being burned.
Abigail sighed. Leaning her head forward, she gave a soft moan that sent an unexpected jolt straight to his groin.
Will clenched his teeth. As he continued to knead Abigail's sore muscles, her head lolled from side to side in contentment. After he rubbed at a particularly tense knot, he heard her suck in a breath and whimper. It sounded…suspiciously erotic.
Feeling his boxers grow unbearably tight, Will suppressed a groan and fought against the urge to press a kiss behind her ear. Worse yet, he could now imagine her writhing beneath him, moaning in that same way as he furiously drove into her welcoming body.
Emboldened by his unspoken desires, Will tucked his fingers beneath Abigail's scarf and stroked along her neck. She jerked away from him in shock.
Clapping a hand over her scar, she lurched up from her chair and began to frantically re-tie the loosened garment.
Will swallowed. Had he repulsed her by taking things too far?
Before he could even think to apologize, Abigail was already heading toward her bedroom. "I…I think I need a nap," she stammered.
He moved to speak, but it was too late. Abigail had already slammed the door in his face.
Embarrassed and still aroused, Will decided that while his guest was doing God only knows what, he'd go into the safety of his bathroom and take a long, cold shower.
After Will had disrobed, he stood in front of his bathroom sink and peered into the mirror. His pale, drawn reflection gazed languidly back at him, his heart thrumming wildly once he realized how frightening he looked. Oh, God…was he finally turning into the monster he knew himself to be?
Quivering, he ran a hand along his stubbled cheek and studied his eyes. There was a raw, cold mania about them – something he often saw in the very perps he tracked.
He staggered back as though he'd been pushed. He was a monster…ohgodohgodohgod.
The bathroom door clicked in that moment, and Will tensed when he suddenly found himself gazing eye-to-eye with Abigail Hobbs. Her mouth formed a small 'o.' Naked and trembling, he felt her eyes raking over his body with interest, especially when the heat pooling between his thighs became painfully obvious.
"I'm sorry, I…I didn't know you were in here…" Her voice was notably distracted.
Feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, Will panted as he struggled to find something intelligent to say. The way her eyes violated him without any concern for propriety thrilled him, and when her tongue peeked out to wet her lips, he honestly thought he was going to lose it.
Abigail moved as though she was going to step toward him, but Will panicked and dove into the security of the shower. "Please close the door," he called. His hands shook as he turned on the water.
The sound of the door swinging shut reached his ears, and he sighed in relief when he realized she'd obeyed his request. He was safe – she was safe.
Allowing the water to pelt him relentlessly from the front, Will submerged his face and shook his head as water droplets clung to his cheeks. He rubbed at his stinging eyes.
As he continued to stand beneath the shower head, he only came back to awareness when soft, careful footsteps creaked across the floor. He heard the whish of the shower curtain soon after.
"What are you…?"
Abigail cut him off, her arms wrapping around his waist as she rested her cheek against his back. "I don't want to be alone right now," she whispered.
Feeling her taut, clothed nipples pressing into his skin, Will closed his eyes and braced himself against the tile wall. "You shouldn't be here," he warned, his voice hoarse. "This is…this is highly inappropriate." Her feather-light touch ghosted along his stomach and he groaned.
He could feel her smiling against his shoulder. "It's sweet of you to care about my reputation and all, but it's too late for me. I know what I'm doing."
'Did she?' he wondered. 'Did she really?' Getting involved with a man such as himself was dangerous, but at the moment he didn't have the heart, nor the strength to tell her to leave. He wanted – no, he needed her there. He needed to know someone believed he was normal. Hell, he needed to believe it, too.
Abigail tugged on Will's arm and he slowly turned around. Looking up at him with pleading eyes, she touched his cheek and leaned her face against the crook of his neck. "Let me stay," she begged. "You've already taken so much away from me, so please…it's the least you could do."
Will felt sick. Was she was actually using her father's death as a bargaining chip? The clever bitch knew he could never deny a request like that.
"He would've killed you," he weakly insisted. "What other choice did I have?"
Abigail's eyes were wild. "You could've let me die," she fired back. "But you're too good for that, aren't you? I never even had a choice."
Will gripped her arms then, angrily forcing her to return his gaze. "Never say that again," he hissed. "You can't honestly say you'd rather be dead, can you?"
Her smile was hollow. "Will, I've been dead for years now…I've never really served a purpose except to…well…" Unable to form the right words, she quickly amended, "Nobody's ever really needed me before…or at least, not like this. Not like with you."
Will flinched. What the hell did she know about his needs? Aside from the rushed kiss at Lecter's office, was he far more transparent than he liked to believe?
Finally, he settled on a strained, "Don't talk like that…you're too young to know anything about what's going on."
Abigail gave a dry, incredulous laugh, genuine fury burning behind her blue eyes. "Oh, really?" she snarled. "I've been forced to see and do things that most people will never have to, so excuse me if I think I know a thing or two about how the world really works! So yeah, I get that you're trying to protect me and all, but guess what? It's you I want, Will. You understand the pain I feel…you know what it's like to hurt this way. Hannibal said that you can empathize, and that-"
"It's not right," Will furiously cut in. "I don't care what he said, because it's not right!"
"Then why did you k-?"
"I don't know why I kissed you, ok?! I just did!"
Abigail's chin quivered, the hurt in her eyes stabbing through his heart like a steel-tipped harpoon. "You don't mean that," she softly said. "If you didn't want me at all, you never would've kissed me…you wouldn't have sought me out."
Will felt as if he were drowning. "You're just confused…we both are." Catching her hands in his, he cradled them against his chest and gave her a pleading look with his eyes. "Just don't do this, ok? If you keep this up, I…I might not be able to control myself."
Abigail's breath hitched at these words. "Then…I hope you won't."
Will appeared to be considerably taken aback by her response, his hands trembling as he choked out, "I…what?"
"I hope you won't be able to control yourself." Moving her hands to his shoulders, she gazed up into his confused eyes and studied the expressions warring across his face. He was clearly fighting with himself over what was right and morally right.
Feeling her hands cup his cheeks, Will closed his eyes and traitorously leaned into Abigail's touch. She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. Sliding her lips down the bridge of his nose, she then pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, her tongue laving the spot as his chin quivered.
"Touch me back," she pleaded. Unfastening the first four buttons of her wet blouse, she grabbed his hand and placed it over her rapidly beating heart. It throbbed a staccato pattern of desire into his palm.
That did it – he finally had proof that Abigail yearned for him as much as he yearned for her. With their hearts pounding in sync with the same urgency, he knew he didn't have to worry about the consequences. They were one in the same, and he'd never find anyone who understood him this way again – ever.
Almost feral, Will shoved Abigail against the tile wall and heard her cry out, his lips and tongue latching onto her pulse point as he felt the need throb beneath his mouth. She was his. She was his. She was his.
Bunching her skirt in his hands, Will lifted the garment over her hips and panted against her wet scarf. Abigail said his name, soft and faint, while her tone held the sweet reverence of a prayer. It made him hunger for her all the more.
Desperate, he tore at her blouse until the buttons popped free. Abigail whimpered and urged him forward, her legs wrapping around his waist as he crashed his mouth against hers. Tongues battling for dominance, Will moaned into the heated kiss and began to swiftly, urgently grind himself between her thighs. Abigail wasn't even wearing panties.
Quivering, he nibbled on Abigail's ear and slipped a hand between her legs, his fingers probing into her tight space as she whined and jerked her hips in time with his administrations. She was his…oh God, she was finally his.
Head tilting back, Abigail rode his fingers and yelped when he grazed her sensitive bundle of nerves. Entranced by her erotic expressions, Will licked her neck and did it yet again, his hand driving strongly between her thighs as she screamed and shook from the building pleasure.
"Will, please," she choked, yet he withdrew before she could come undone. Abigail shuddered from the loss of contact.
Groping blindly between them, she seized Will between the legs and stroked his sensitive skin. "I want it," she begged, tilting her hips into his. "Please, Will…"
Their blazing eyes met in a moment of clouded lust, and Will gave a stifled cry before driving sharply into her heat. Abigail gasped and bowed forward, her nails digging into his shoulders once his hips began to move. The force of his thrusts caused her back to slap repeatedly against the wall.
Breasts bouncing, Abigail trembled and arched into their point of union, her toes curling as she did her best to ride the wild, frantic jerk of his hips.
Will closed his eyes. She was so warm and tight, and the soft, gentle touch of her lips on his throat was driving him mad. When he gave an exceptionally delicious thrust, he heard her squeal and she clung to his strong frame out of desperation.
Placing his hands flat against the wall to brace himself, Will sighed into Abigail's open mouth as she sought his lips with hers. The kiss was wanton and frantic, both gasping for air as they licked, bit, and groped at one another within their high intensity of need. He growled at her, nails digging into her thighs as he met her tongue with his, feeding his addiction and growing it. She was never going to be enough – never going to fill this need in him for her . . . oh, fuck, he needed this so badly.
Will slid down to his knees just before they gave out, resting Abigail on the lip of the tub and grabbing her hair, pulling as he kissed her. He groaned into the kiss and erratically jerked inside her, shuddering violently as he came.
Abigail whined and tried to keep him in place as he pulled out, but Will thrust his face and tongue between her legs, licking and sucking with a hunger that surprised even him. He needed all of her – every last delicious drop of her.
Abigail gripped his hair and rolled her hips up toward his awaiting mouth, her moans turning into soft, feverish pants as she twisted her body with the hopes of him granting her release. The agent wasn't trying to take his time, but he wasn't necessarily in a rush, either; he wanted to enjoy the taste of his conquest, rubbing his rough cheeks against her thighs and breathing in the heady scent of her. She screamed his name as she came, and it was him she wanted. Him!
Will pulled Abigail back into the tub once he'd had his fill of her, wrapping his arms and legs around her body as the hot water pounded down upon them. By now they were both gasping for breath.
He was . . . he wasn't empty anymore, but Will couldn't quite place what had filled him, and this unnerved him horribly. Abigail's small, gentle hands began to explore the flat planes of his torso and he closed his eyes. His skin was burning again; burning at her touch and he tensed his fists at his sides, trying to distract himself from the electricity he couldn't pull away from.
Abigail, however, was not willing to be ignored. She still wanted to be held – she still needed the validation. With her free hand bracing herself, she eased her body so that she was hovering over Will's newly erect arousal. Giving him a dusky look with her eyes, she slowly lowered herself so that only his tip entered her slick heat, her teeth biting into her lip as she forced herself to abruptly withdraw. Knees quivering, she did it yet again, her face flushing as she fought not to sink directly down to the hilt. She wanted to see if she affected him as much as he affected her. With breathless curiosity, she looked down at Will's face for a reaction.
He was gripping her waist tight enough to leave bruises, all the while trying to force her onto him as he bit back gasp after gasp. She was a fucking tease and he hated her for it; hated that his body needed her touch, and needed this torment.
Will pushed himself up until he was sitting, pulling desperately down on her hips. His teeth and tongue were now on her breasts and mimicking his earlier movements between her legs. He gasped against her slick skin.
No longer willing to fight him, Abigail fisted his hair and allowed her body to sink fully down his length, a pleased hiss escaping her lips once she felt him fill her to completion. Rolling her hips forward, she took Will by the chin and crashed his mouth against her own, her tongue plundering past his lips as she fanned her fingers out across his face.
Will cried out into her mouth as he came, her feather-light touches being just what he'd needed to send him over the edge. He crushed Abigail against him, running his hands from her rump to her shoulders and holding her like a normal man would hold a woman.
Abigail tried to slow the soft, excited pants of her breathing. With her hand cupping his cheek, her body relaxed into his embrace as the soothing water continued to beat upon their bodies.
"I…thank you," she whispered. As Will gazed down at her in confusion, he couldn't tell if the liquid on her cheeks was tears or bathwater.
Tucking her wet head beneath his chin, he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms securely around her shoulders. For one blissful moment it was just the two of them. No horrors or death – nothing. All that remained was warmth, safety, and calm. That was why he sought her out, Will realized. Abigail made the nightmares go away.
Almost seeming to read his mind, Abigail turned further into his embrace and snuggled against his chest. With her arm curling between them, she found his hand and interlocked their fingers.
A long, high-pitched scream caused Will to jerk awake, his limbs flailing as he tried his best to regain his bearings. Warm bed…middle of the night…Abigail Hobbs. Abigail?
Feeling yet another shriek rip through him like a blade, Will rolled over and instinctively gathered the sleeping girl into his arms. "Abby? Abigail? Wake up!" he shouted. Lightly patting her face, his gaze grew panicked when she continued to sob and thrash about in his grasp. "Hey, c'mon," he pleaded. "Look at me!"
With a sharp intake of breath, Abigail's chest lurched upward as her eyes flew open. Her gaze seemed unseeing at first, but after a moment her expression softened with recognition. "Will!" she sobbed. Launching herself into his arms, she buried her face against the crook of his neck and wept bitterly. "I keep dreaming about my dad," she choked out. "Every night, it's always the same thing…"
"Shh, I've got you," Will gently assured her. Despite his better judgment, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss against her forehead and cupped her wet cheeks, stroking them. Abigail quivered in his embrace.
Coaxing her into lying back down, Will turned Abigail's body so that her backside was pressed snugly against his front, his arms threading around her waist as he rested his lips against her shoulder. As he did so, he felt Abigail's shaking hands come over his and squeeze. Her voice was soft and full of defeat as she whispered, "I'll never be normal."
Will's eyelids fluttered. Though he wasn't a man who cried, he couldn't keep the emotion from his voice as he whispered a strained, "Neither will I."