It had been three days since Harry had left on his Auror mission with Noah. Ginny was struggling to live life as normal without him. The longer he was gone, the more uneasy she became; it was maddening not knowing where Harry was or what condition he might be in. It was how she'd had to live the entire last year; now that the war was over it seemed unfair that it continue. Not knowing whether or not she might be pregnant wasn't helping to ease her stress either. She sat on the couch in front of the roaring fire. A very large stack of homework was sitting in front of her, but like most times when she was worried about something, she had opted for her knitting instead. In the hopes that she wasn't pregnant, she was working on some mittens. She wasn't sure who she was making them for, but as long as her hands and head were busy, she worried less.
While Flitwick's question at the beginning of class the first morning of term had gone a long way to dispel rumors about where Harry was, it had worn off by this morning. She had ventured down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione and, as they passed the Slytherin table, she overheard a conversation that was clearly intended for her ears.
"She's alone again," one Slytherin boy whispered loudly to his neighbor.
"Yeah, I guess now that Potter's had her, he's moved on," the other student said.
Ginny tried to pretend she hadn't heard. Hermione made a noise of disgust and Ron lunged at the table, prepared to fight the pair. Before a single hex could be cast, Pansy rose from her seat and approached. "What a stupid thing to say, how thick are you?" she scathingly asked the pair of students. "Everyone knows that Potter is an Auror. He's out on a mission and I'd bet he's just as miserable without her as she is without him."
"What makes you think that?" one of the boys scoffed.
"Any one with the gift of sight can see the way they look at one another. I don't know of another couple who looks more in love than they do," Pansy explained.
"Because you spend so much time with the Potters," Draco said dryly, from further down the table.
"Well, yeah, I spend a lot more time with them than I ever used to," Pansy said, "I actually went to their wedding with Seamus. It was beautiful."
"Thank you Pansy," Ginny said quietly.
"I still can't believe you're dating that git," Draco drawled.
"Why not? Because he doesn't treat me like a piece of worthless trash, like you used to, Draco? You know, some girls like to date boys who treat them like they matter," Pansy said.
Draco had the good grace to blush. He returned to his breakfast without another word.
Flashing a quick smile of gratitude at Pansy, Ginny followed Ron and Hermione to the Gryffindor table.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Harry woke with a start. Every morning of this mission when he'd woken on the cold, hard floor of the tent in a sleeping bag, he'd had to remind himself of where he was. He was cold, tired, hungry and, most of all, he missed Ginny. He had always known that being an Auror could be grueling work, but he'd still always longed for the job. However, after waking every morning of this mission feeling like this, he couldn't remember why he'd wanted this so badly. Yes, he enjoyed having a hand in rounding up death-eaters and other wizard scum out there, but when the price was being miserable and without Ginny, he wasn't sure it was worth it anymore.
"You awake, Potter?" Noah asked, from the other side of the small tent.
"Yeah," Harry replied groggily.
"Don't sound so enthusiastic," Noah said.
Harry remained silent. He thought back to the weeks right after the final battle when he had two options before him; return to school or become an auror. He's chosen option three, both. He remembered how Headmistress McGonagall had strongly urged him to return to school and finish his education. He might find that the auror path was not as appealing as it once was. Maybe she had been right. One of his reasons for becoming an auror had always been to make the world a better place for those he loved to live in. He wanted any children that he and Ginny were lucky enough to have not to have to grow up in the dark and dangerous time they had. But, what kind of father would he be if in the pursuit of giving them a better life he got himself killed and left Ginny to raise them on her own? His mind worried over the knowledge that in their haste three days prior, they might have conceived a child long before either of them felt ready. Despite how premature this development might be, he knew he wanted to be there for their child and wouldn't risk the chance that he might not be.
"You fall back asleep?" Noah asked.
"No," Harry said. "Just thinking."
"About whether or not you really want this job after all?" Noah asked.
"How did you know?" Harry asked.
"I've seen the signs," Noah explained. "You had a lot more passion for this six months ago."
"Back then, I felt like it was my duty or mission to be here chasing death eaters," Harry said. "Now I feel like my duty lies with Ginny. I can't help but think about how much I miss her and how much I must be letting her down when I'm away."
"There's no shame in calling it quits," Noah said. "Plenty of people have walked away from this job."
"I am not a quitter," Harry said firmly.
"I don't think anyone would look at it that way," Noah said. "You already saved the wizarding world from Voldemort. Maybe you tried out being an auror and decided it wasn't for you. It doesn't mean that you're quitting."
"I would know that it was exactly that," Harry said.
"But you'd be wrong," Noah argued. "In my opinion, that's one of your greatest faults."
"What is?" Harry asked.
"You're too hard on yourself and you're always trying to live up to what you think others expect of you. When are you going to live your life for you? When this mission is over and you go back home to your wife, I want you to think about what you want out of life. If being an auror isn't it, then you are doing everyone a disservice by trying to pretend that it is."
"Okay," Harry agreed.
"Alright then," Noah said. "Let's get a move on. I'd prefer not to sleep in this tent again tonight; it's cold, ruddy uncomfortable and you talk in your sleep, Potter."
Harry flushed and said, "Oh, I wasn't aware of that. I mean, I used to when I had dreams that weren't really dreams at all but glimpses into Voldemort's head; but I had no idea I talked when I wasn't connected to him. What did I talk about?"
"Ginny," Noah said uncomfortably.
Harry's flush deepened and he said, "Oh, well, I hope you silencioed me."
"I did," Noah said, "but as soon as I'd fall asleep, it would wear off and you'd start talking and wake me up all over again."
"Sorry," Harry said, mortified at the thought of what exactly he might have said.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Ginny sat knitting in front of the fire in her and Harry's dorm. She had missed two classes but just couldn't be bothered about it. There just had to be a way to find out if she was pregnant or not. If she had to wait two more weeks to find out, she would just go mad. She was a witch after all, there had to be some magical means to getting the answer. She wondered if Madame Pomfrey would know and dismissed the idea immediately; outside of Harry and Hermione, she didn't want anyone to have even an inkling that she suspected that she could be pregnant.
She heard a light knocking on the door and, before she even rose to open it, knew that it would be Hermione coming to see why she hadn't been in her last two classes. Rather than get up from her warm nest of blankets on the couch, Ginny flicked her wand at the door to let Hermione in.
"Ginny," Hermione scolded as she closed the door behind her. "What if I had been an unknown assailant? You just opened the door without checking to see who it was."
"I knew it was you," Ginny responded.
"How would you know that?" Hermione asked.
"I missed two classes this morning, aren't you here to shame me for skipping class?" Ginny asked shortly.
"No, actually, based on the things you have going on right now, I completely understand just wanting to shut yourself up in here," Hermione said, sounding a bit hurt. "I was coming to see how you were doing. I thought you might like a little company."
Ginny looked away from her work and at Hermione for the first time since she'd entered the room and said, "I'm sorry. I'm not in a very good mood. You're just being a friend and checking in on me and I bit your head off."
"It's alright, Ginny," Hermione said. "I understand."
"Thanks," Ginny said. She looked back at her knitting but in a calm voice asked, "Do you know of any magical ways that we could find out right now if I'm pregnant or not?"
"Hmmmmm," Hermione said thoughtfully. "There has to be one. I suppose you have no idea how healers at St. Mungo's check for pregnancy or you wouldn't be asking me."
"There are lots of people I could ask about that; Madame Pomfrey, Mum, possibly Fleur, but outside of you and Harry, I don't want any one to know about this," Ginny said.
"Well, let me do a little research and I'll let you know if I find a solution," Hermione said.
"Thank you so much, Hermione," Ginny said.
"Don't mention it," Hermione said. "You'd do the same for me. Besides, it might be a handy little trick to know someday."
"Are you trying to tell me something?" Ginny asked with a grin.
"No, I'm just saying that someday when Ron and I are married, it might be convenient to be able to find out in the comfort of our home whether or not a baby is on the way," Hermione said.
"Ah," Ginny said. "Just checking."
"Not that it is any of your business but we are very careful in that department," Hermione said.
"Unlike Harry and me," Ginny added miserably. "Suddenly the phrase, 'It only takes one time,' has so much more meaning."
"Don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure everyone forgets sometime," Hermione said. "You just need a failsafe way to remind yourself not to forget it again."
"I'm thinking of making a cross stitch sampler to hang above the bed that says something along the lines of, 'Don't shag until you've taken your potion,' but you know, rhyming and cutesy," Ginny said sarcastically.
Hermione laughed and said, "Do you want to have lunch with me and then we can go to the library? The sooner we have an answer for you, the sooner you can either get out of this funk or start dealing with the news."
Ginny thought before saying, "If you don't mind, I'm just going to make myself some lunch here and keep hiding out. I'm afraid of whose head I'll bite off next in this mood."
"Not a problem," Hermione said. "I'll just go fetch Ron from next door."
"Not a word to Ron," Ginny warned.
"My lips are sealed," Hermione said, before miming locking her lips with an imaginary key.
After Hermione left, Ginny continued to sit and knit for a while, stopping occasionally to watch the falling snow outside the castle. Eventually, she got up and made herself some lunch which she ate at the table while she forced herself to tackle some of the mountain of homework. Several hours later, while Ginny was mid-way through writing a potions essay for Slughorn, the dog tags around her neck burned. She pulled them from beneath her sweater and read, "Hey Gin, How are things? Love, H."
She quickly replied with, "Hey, missing you and wishing I knew if I was pregnant."
"I miss you too, so much." Harry replied.
"Hermione is helping me find out if there is a magical way to check for pregnancy," Ginny wrote back.
"Well, if there is an answer, Hermione will find it," Harry said.
"I hope so. Between missing you and worrying, I've just been staying holed up in our dorm," Ginny wrote.
"Knitting?" Harry asked.
"Mostly, but I did force myself to start some homework a few hours ago," Ginny said.
"I'm hoping to get home late tonight, but it is snowing really hard where we are and it is interfering with our mission," Harry explained.
"Whenever you get back, I'll be here," Ginny wrote.
"I hope to see you soon. Love, Harry," he wrote.
"Me too. Love you, Gin." She replied.
She returned the dog tags to beneath her sweater and moodily went back to her essay. She was glad to hear from him, but knowing that they still had to wait to be together again, darkened her mood. When he got back, she was going to ask how serious he was about being an auror. Maybe she was reading into it, but his messages seemed a little down. Maybe he was having doubts too. She wondered what he would do if he wasn't an auror. He could play quidditch professionally like she planned to, except he'd already explained to her why he'd never consider that. Maybe he could get a job as some sort of coach or assistant to whatever team she got onto. She supposed that Harry wouldn't actually have to work. He had a lot of money in his vault, and if she was getting paid, he could just stay home. She laughed out loud at that; Harry was the least likely of all the people she knew to be content to stay at home and do nothing. She'd have to think about what other options he had.
She finished three more homework assignments before Hermione returned with a large book tucked under her arm and a proud look on her beaming face.
"You found it?" Ginny asked hopefully.
"I found a reference that gave me an opening to go and ask Madame Pomfrey without seeming suspicious," Hermione explained. "I told her I was writing an essay about how medical practices differ between magical and muggle healers and that, more specifically, I was writing about pregnancy and childbirth. In the book I found, they talk about a particular kind of stone that can be used to detect pregnancy but they didn't go into further detail. I went to Madame Pomfrey and asked her if she knew anything about this stone and how it was used."
"Did she?" Ginny asked anxiously.
Hermione grinned and pulled a oddly flat, greenish-tinged, semi-transparent stone from her pocket and held it in front of Ginny before saying, "I feel a bit guilty that I made up the assignment because she seemed really pleased that I thought to go and ask her about it. She explained how to use the stone in great detail and even let me borrow the stone so I could draw a picture of it for my report."
"So," Ginny said, "what are we waiting for."
"What if I do everything she told me and it doesn't work or worse yet, what if I do it and get the wrong answer?" Hermione asked.
"I'm sure someone as smart as you can't screw this up, how hard can it be?" Ginny asked. "Besides, it not like you can harm me in any way by trying, is there?"
"No, I did ask if it was dangerous if done incorrectly. She said no and then added that many years ago, families kept these rocks and performed the test on themselves. It went out of fashion when healers, in an attempt to make more money, insisted that their results were more accurate than a test you could perform at home. It's the same test though."
"Okay then, what do we do first?" Ginny asked.
"Let's go into your room," Hermione suggested, "you need to lie down."
Ginny led the way into the bedroom and cast a spell at the fireplace as she entered relighting the fire. She shooed Ember off of her pillow and lie down on her back. "Now what?" Ginny asked.
"Well, I need to lay the stone just above your pubic bone, if you pull your shirt up a bit and roll your pants down a bit…," Hermione instructed. "Yes, like that." She set the stone on Ginny's flat lower abdomen and said, "Now I say the incantation and tap the stone once. If the stone glows steadily, you are pregnant and if it lights up but stutters and flickers, you aren't."
"What kind of stone is this?" Ginny asked.
"Madame Pomfrey wasn't clear about that herself. She couldn't remember if the stone was specially treated to make it work for this purpose or if it came from someplace magical," Hermione said.
"Is this going to hurt?" Ginny asked.
"No," Hermione said.
"Can you do the test more than once to be sure?" Ginny asked.
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey said it will not hurt the mother or child if the test is repeated," Hermione said.
"And we're sure that the stone can tell this early on?" Ginny asked. "I don't have to wait until I've missed my period or anything?"
"Nope, she said it could detect accurately within just a couple hours of conception," Hermione said, "Are you ready?"
Ginny drew in a breath and said, "Yes."
Hermione drew out her wand and held it just above the stone. In a serious voice, she said, "deprehensio fetus," and lightly tapped the stone. Both stared nervously at the stone. Ginny's breath caught audibly as the stone light up and remained lit for three seconds before it flickered and went out for another second before lighting up again. After that, it stuttered and flickered randomly and Hermione said, "Definitely not pregnant then. Should I congratulate you?"
Ginny laughed before her face fell and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Is it weird that I'm happy and sad at the same time?"
Hermione pulled Ginny into a sitting position and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Not at all. You okay?"
"I'm happy because we didn't want a baby yet. This means I can still play quidditch professionally, but at the same time, as I worried over the last three days, I had a lot of time to think about what it would have been like. It would have been an adjustment, but we would have been fine," Ginny said.
"You guys have your whole lives ahead of you and plenty of time to have babies," Hermione said.
"Yeah," Ginny agreed. "Thank you for your help, Hermione."
"You're welcome," Hermione said as she hugged Ginny, "Any time."
"Well, let's hope this isn't an issue again," Ginny said.
"You know what I mean," Hermione said. "You can always come to me with problems, I'm happy to help. Can I be sappy for a minute?" Ginny nodded and Hermione continued, "You know that Ron and Harry have been my best friends since we started at Hogwarts, but you are my best girl friend. I'm always going to be here for you."
Ginny smiled and said, "Hermione you are my best girl friend too. You can always come to me too."
"Just out of curiosity, who is your all time best friend?" Hermione asked.
"Harry," Ginny said happily. "Who else?"
Hermione grinned and asked, "Speaking of Harry, have you heard from him? Any idea when he'll be back?"
"He's hoping to be back tonight, but the snow is pretty bad where he is and its interfering with their work," Ginny said.
"Are you waiting for me to leave so you can send him a message?" Hermione asked.
"Kind of, but first, how accurate do you think the test is?" Ginny asked.
"Madame Pomfrey said one hundred percent," Hermione said. "But if it would make you feel better, I'll do it again."
"Just once more?" Ginny pleaded.
Three more negative tests later, Ginny was satisfied and let Hermione go. Ginny settled herself back on the couch and pulled out her dog tags. She was midway through writing a message when Harry burst through the door, still brushing snow from his hair.
"You're back," Ginny yelled, as she leapt over the arm of the couch to launch herself into his arms.
"Whoa, careful," Harry cried, as he gently hugged her before letting his hand come to rest on her abdomen.
"I'm not pregnant," Ginny said. "I was just about to send you a message to let you know."
"Thank Merlin," Harry breathed. "I don't know about you, but I was panicked. I am not ready for kids yet."
"Me too," Ginny agreed. "Mostly I was relieved but there was a tiny part of me that was sad too. After thinking about what it would be like for the last three days, part of me wanted it."
"Someday," Harry promised.
"Yes, someday," Ginny agreed.
Harry bent to kiss her, but before they could get too deeply entwined, Ginny disengaged and ran toward the bedroom saying, "Stay there, I'll be right back." When she returned, she handed him a vial of the contraceptive potion and said, "Please drink this before our reunion moves any further." Harry grinned but willingly downed the potion.
"Now where were we?" Harry asked, as he moved toward Ginny.
"How about a shower?" Ginny asked.
"You don't like how I smell after three days sleeping in a tent with no shower?" Harry asked, trying to sound offended.
"No, not so much," Ginny teased. "Come on, it'll thaw you out and I'll scrub your back."
"Okay," Harry agreed. "but after the shower, we need to talk. I've been doing some thinking."
"Me too," Ginny said.
Author's Note: Hi All! I hope you've missed me (and my story) as much as I missed all of you. I love doing my design work but it certainly does leave me little time for the other things in my life that I love. Thanks for not overwhelming me with reviews asking for an update – it would have made it that much harder to be away. I will eventually have some edits to do to the book I was working on, but, like me, the author is a bit wordy and either pages have to be added or text has to be cut so I'm on stand by at the moment. However, the edits shouldn't take nearly as much time as the first part of the designing did so hopefully another absence is not in my future.
Thanks to my beta, Terra Ferme for doing the betaing on this chapter, your quick work, as always is appreciated.
Thanks to everyone who let me know how they felt about whether or not Ginny should be pregnant after the last chapter. No worries – I was never going to have her pregnant this early on, or by mistake. I have lots more adventures I want to write for them before kids come into the picture. This little scare was a something to move us toward another plot point. No guessing – just sit back and enjoy the ride. They will be discussing 'things' in the next chapter – just so you don't worry that I'm going to gloss over that part.
Thank you to Lyric Medlie who read and reviewed almost every chapter in my story within the last week and a half – it really inspired me to hurry up and get another chapter out here. I loved hearing from you and everyone owes you a big thanks!
Let me know how I'm doing – I love hearing from people. If you have ideas, send them. It honestly inspires me to keep the story going.
Thanks Everyone!
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