i'm trying to fix things in this chapter

but not all things are fixed

now read, ponder, and enjoy!

Lena hadn't exactly been surprised when she woke up to find the other side of the bed empty and cold. The sun had already risen, and National City was awake with her as well, judging by the distant honks and the occasional rumble of the trains outside. There was a pleasant ache between her thighs, deliciously ravaged by tongue and fingers and a well-used strap-on.

And she was completely alone in her apartment.

Truthfully, she shouldn't be disappointed. This wasn't the first time she had a one-night stand, though it had been quite some time – seven months, to be exact – before she had been dazed enough to invite Kara upstairs. She maintained that she was being courteous, and it would have been rude to leave the woman in the rain after she had so kindly offered an umbrella.

Despite all that, Lena still found herself disappointed. Not largely, but there was a slight tug in her chest at the realization that the blonde had left.

She didn't let herself dwell on it, choosing instead to hurry up and shower and change, because she couldn't remember the last time she had slept in this late, especially not with such an important case on the horizon. Her phone was predictably dead, since she had been to distracted to plug it in.

Therefore, Lena allowed her brain to be swept up in case notes and testimonies and anonymous submissions, refusing to allow even a flash of that face Kara made when she made Lena come for the third time in a row. With a dead phone, it was a relatively peaceful journey to the office.

She had expected a normal morning with the usual interruptions by Sam and check-ins by Lucy. And shitty coffee in the pantry, because the DA refused to acknowledge that there were better beans out there than the one they stocked up on.

Lena expected a peaceful morning, until she walked into find Lucy and James in her office, grim expressions on their faces.

Kara (7:12 a.m.): sry 2 cut n run – can i call u ltr?

The last time Lena had been this angry – this disenchanted – was when Lucy gave her a case related to an abusive and perverted father who had mistreated his daughters to such a point where they had to be committed to a mental health facility. And she absolutely eviscerated him in court, managing to land a sentence that would last until his dying day.

That case had been Lena's first big success. The starting point of her thriving career in the circuit. The careful curation of her reputation as a sharp-tongued, unrepentant attorney who would stop at anything for her client.

It wasn't as if Lena wasn't prepared – she was the kind of person who always made sure that she had all the materials and intel she needed before going to war, and that was one of the main reasons why she was always winning.

But she certainly didn't like being blindsided like this. She didn't like having to blindside her clients, who were vulnerable enough already, to warn them of an impending shitstorm way ahead of schedule. She didn't like being reminded that she wasn't always the best judge of people.

Fortunately for her, Lucy and James didn't inquire as to how Kara got ahold of that sensitive information, but there was a look on the brunette's face before she walked out of the office. A knowing look, which only made Lena feel more ashamed. She had never slipped up like this.

And finally heeding Kara's advice, she picked up the phone and dialed the number that she kept forgetting in the midst of her mounting paperwork.

"I've been waiting."

"Kara Danvers is a leech," she hissed without so much as a greeting, her fingers tight around her phone.

Cat was quiet for a moment, clearly caught off guard by Lena's accusation. "Kara Danvers is a puppy. Outside of the courtroom, that is," she replied resolutely.

"She most certainly isn't," Lena scoffed, standing from her desk to face the window, as if the blue sky could calm her thundering heart and simmering blood. "She is nosy and utterly disrespectful of code of conduct between attorneys."

"Watch your mouth. I pretty much raised her."

"Which is why I'm calling you," Lena snapped, brushing her fingers through her hair – she hadn't even had coffee yet. "I thought your firm is all about ethics."

Perhaps it wasn't fair to accuse her godmother of such things. But she didn't know who else to be pissed at, and Cat was the only person she personally knew who probably knew Kara Danvers more than her. And right now, she kind of didn't give a fuck who she pissed off to let it out.

There was a shit ton to do as a result of Kara's shenanigans, but there was no way she could complete anything on her impromptu checklist with nothing but rage zapping in her entire body. She felt like trashing her entire office, and that most certainly wouldn't do.

"What. Happened?" Cat asked with a strained voice, clearly unappreciative of Lena's tone.

Lena clenched her jaw. "She essentially spied on me for her ex-boyfriend."

"Matthews?"

"One and only."

Of course Lena knew that Kara had once been engaged to up-and-coming politician Mike Matthews. She just hadn't think it was important enough information to bring up whenever they were in each other's presence. Big mistake, obviously.

Cat took a moment, and then said, "You slept with her, didn't you?" Lena froze at the call-out, but of course Cat managed to figure it out even though they hadn't seen each other for the better part of a year. "And how exactly did she spy on you, pray tell?" the older woman pursued, though it wasn't difficult to miss the disappointed inflection in her voice, like she expected better from Lena.

And truthfully, Lena had expected better of herself as well.

She genuinely had been quite determined on her rule of never sleeping with a would-be enemy, especially when they literally worked right across the street. But the ambience last night had been…invigorating and intriguing, and Kara was right there, and Lena wasn't foolish enough to not recognize her own lust for the woman.

Until now, she couldn't quite identify whether she regretted sleeping with Kara. She did blame herself a little for not being more careful with confidential information. Then again, she hadn't exactly expected Kara to end up at her place last night. And it was supposed to be her safe haven.

"I'm building a case. And she saw something she shouldn't have," Lena allowed herself to say without revealing too much.

"And how did you know she saw it?"

"She asked James about it."

"Ah, James Olsen. Are you two still –"

"Stop," Lena snapped, closing her eyes. "This isn't about him."

"Fine," Cat relented. "It wasn't right of Kara to peek at your things, or to tell Olsen about it after finding out. And from what I heard through the grapevine, it is a case that can make or break your career, but…I would advice that you give Kara the benefit of the doubt."

"Cat –"

"Kara Danvers is my best student, bar none. Perhaps you would have been my best student had you accepted my offer to take you under my tutelage," Cat added, not without a hint of bitterness at the reminder of Lena's astute rejection all those years ago. "But as it stands, she is my best student, because she genuinely cares and wants to use the law to do good. I refuse to believe that she has any ill intent at all."

Lena kept her mouth shut at Cat's praises for the blonde that had been haunting her brain since they met in the courtroom. It wasn't as if she didn't understand where Cat was coming from, given that she had been seeing the same thing in the short time she knew Kara.

"Stew if you must. I would if I were you," Cat permitted. "But don't let this blind your judgement towards her in the long run."

"Okay."

"Carter misses you."

"I'll visit soon."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Lena chuckled, acceding to Cat's point. "And Lena?" The ADA hummed. "I cannot wait to see you take this case by a storm."

At that, the initial chillness that had gripped Lena's heart warmed exceedingly. Her parents and brother were one thing – they were pretty much obligated to support her in her endeavors.

But Cat was different. She was the strict godmother who also tended to spoil Lena in subtle ways, supporting and criticizing her whenever necessary, always infusing unforgettable lessons each time they saw each other. Cat was the goalpost that Lena aspired for, and hearing that made Lena feel like she could truly come out the victor.

Her clients were, understandably, anxious after they had heard that the timeline would have to speed up. But this wasn't the first time things like this had happened, so Lena did her best to reassure them that they would be protected to the best of her ability and that she was confident Mike Matthews had nowhere to run, bolstered by Cat's reassurance.

For the rest of the day, she locked herself in her office with an officer from the Office of Public Affairs, collating her casefiles and margin notes to build an acceptable press release that would be published in the morning. Thye spent the entire day editing vocabulary and triple fact checking backgrounds to prevent loopholes.

Even Lucy was ignored when she tried to check on them, earning a glare from Lena, who didn't much care for hierarchy at the moment. She just wanted to get things right and give her clients the justice they deserved.

This case was two years in the making, since the moment Lena received an anonymous tip in her email. She refused to allow it all to just crash and burn because of her carelessness or Matthews' vast network within the government and through his menace of a mother.

Her mood had actually improved drastically at the end of the very long day, until she came downstairs to find Kara waiting for her. Slightly anxious, but still with a smile on her face, as if she hadn't invaded Lena's privacy this morning.

Cat said to stew if she must, and Lena must stew. She was a Luthor – she held grudges like that.

Therefore, she didn't even give Kara a chance, shooting accusations and unkind words to every retort that Kara could possibly. Purposely and determinedly ignorant to the woman's pleading expression and defensive attempts.

And despite that sustaining longing to continue to get to know Kara, in spite of Cat defending Kara, this whole ordeal had taught Lena one very important lesson. As long as she was a prosecutor, it simply wasn't advisable or wise to get even slightly close to someone on the opposite side of the aisle.

Siobhan Smythe and Leslie Willis should have taught her that. But this time, she needed to nail that lesson to heart.

Still, after she had given Kara a piece of her mind and walked away, she couldn't help but feel a little lonely. There was an empty space next to her that, somehow, she was finding hard to get used to. To think that Lena had only known Kara Danvers for two weeks.

The whole world essentially blew up in the morning, which was something Lena had expected. Something her family had prepared her for. Something Cat had warned her about upon witnessing Lena's rise in the legal food chain in the past few years.

Her phone was blowing up with phone calls and texts and emails, equally encouraging and threatening in their messages.

And weirdly enough, apparently Mike Matthews had fans, like screaming little white girls who would evidently do anything for him just because he had an attractive mug. It really threw Lena how even politicians had fans now, as if they were celebrities or something. Why wouldn't they just stick to actors or something?

"We're near the end times," she sneered in disgust as she washed up and prepared for another long day at work – well, it would be a long year, if things went in her favor.

However, before the end times arrived, she wanted Matthews behind bars. She wanted vindication for her clients, who had been violated and disrespected because of this one man. And she would stop at nothing to get it.

"I knew you had it in you," Lillian praised as soon as Lena finally picked up her call in the car. Lena had to smile at that. "I do wish you had warned me beforehand."

"You know that's not how this works, mom," Lena chastised gently, though she understood where her mother was coming from, given that Rhea Matthews was her colleague.

"I suspect this will be your magnum opus."

"That's not the goal."

Lillian was quiet for a moment before her voice went gentle. "Be careful, Lena. This can have great ramifications on you, and I don't just mean your reputation. The Matthews are…old guard in the country's political scene. They have connections you can't even imagine," she warned.

"If I have to be afraid every time I build a case, I wouldn't have made it where I am," Lena replied blithely. "But I'll be careful, mom. I promise."

"Your father wants to hire a bodyguard."

"He wanted to hire a private detective just two days ago."

"I married a whimsical man."

Lena snorted. "You two are so cheesy," she complained.

"Hush, you."

The DOJ building was already in sight, and Lena pulled into the parking lot, determined to not look at the other side of the street, where Kara worked. "I have to go. Lots to do. A sexual predator to put in jail. You know how it is."

"Knock 'em dead, sweetheart."

"I will," she replied and hung up.

Once her car was in her designated parking space, she sat inside for what felt like forever. Envisioning the near future. Impending court dates. Negotiation requests coming on her desks. The inevitable media storm that would definitely tail her even after the case was over, no matter the outcome.

She had been ready for this the moment she received that tip in her email and pleaded Lucy to let her work on it two years ago. But it didn't mean she wasn't still anxious now that was it actually happening. She had never worked on something this magnitude before, and she could only hope that time would be kind to her.

"These women are liars. These women are frauds. These women only want their five seconds of fame. And my son's integrity will not allow them that satisfaction."

Rolling her eyes, she turned the TV off to avoid having to look at Rhea's despicable face any further. Having met her exactly twice before, Lena could say for certain that she wouldn't be dissatisfied if she could go the rest of her life without seeing her again, but alas, she had decided to take on this case.

Five seconds of fame. What a load of shit.

Lena had almost had to go on her knees to beg for them to reveal themselves, as they were in fear of unprecedented ramifications for going up against someone like Mike Matthews. They certainly weren't in it for the fame, Lena could say that for sure.

"No," she pronounced resolutely at Nia, who was sitting with her legs crossed in front of the desk.

Nia rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on!" she bemoaned, turning to Lucy for backup.

"I said no," Lena repeated, shuffling through her already well-organized files in hopes that they would both leave her to her momentary peace.

"Lena, it will help," Lucy said from where she was perched against a cabinet.

"No, it won't."

"How do you know?"

"I am a Luthor," Lena replied with an easy shrug. "The moment I respond, the moment any one of us responds, the media will lap it up. They will publish think pieces. They will talk about it on morning shows and, god forbid, Fox News. And worst of all, they will send investigators, and that is the last thing we want."

"Is it?"

"Mike Matthews may be a politician, but he is a man. An attractive one at that. This morning, I found out that he has fans, like he's Harry Styles or something, which is appalling and disgusting. Everything – social media, news headlines, public focus groups – will be skewed in his favor. They already are. The best thing we can do right now is to not take the bait."

"You know Harry Styles?"

Of course, of all the things that she had said, Nia would latch on to that. Lena liked Nia Nal – she was pretty much the only person in the OPA that Lena liked. The girl was lively and young and understood how the modern world worked more than anyone else in the office. She was pretty much on a one-woman warpath to steer the DOJ into the modern era, which Lena very much admired.

But at this moment, Lena didn't like Nia very much, because she was young and lively and she watched way too much TV. Sometimes, these things needed old-fashioned battle strategy, and no one knew how to do that better than Lena, who had pretty much grown up in similar environments.

"Lena, public opinion at the DOJ is already at an all-time low. We need ammo. We need to talk more. We need to show them that we are transparent, without being too transparent," Lucy retorted as she pushed away from the cabinet as if that would drive her point home.

The raven-haired woman shook her head. "Look, you can respond if you want – you're the boss. But I won't be giving them the satisfaction." She looked down at an open file where a photo of a victim was displayed. "My job here is to protect my clients. These women are vulnerable enough, and they have given enough. If I speak out, it will only endanger them further."

"They will come after us."

"Let them." She made sure to meet Lucy's eyes. "I'm not afraid."

Lucy scoffed and shook her head for a second before a reluctant fond smile appeared on her face. "Sometimes, I really do hate you," she said. She sighed and turned to Nia, who was obviously unhappy with the turn of this conversation. "I need to talk to Lena about something else."

Getting the message, Nia heaved a sigh and walked out of the room, but not before making Lena promise to show up at the bar tonight. Sam and she had apparently planned celebratory drinks to the final publication of this case, and no amount of protest could deter them. It was almost as if they didn't have a job or something.

Once Nia had made herself scarce, Lucy got comfortable on the seat she vacated. "I did tell you not to sleep with her, you know," she started with no preamble.

"If you can't tell, I'm a little busy for that conversation," Lena replied with narrowed eyes, sweeping her hands over her littered desk.

"You need to talk to her."

"I don't need to do anything."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"I don't want you to do anything but leave me alone so I can make sure Matthews goes to jail."

"She's not a vicious person."

Okay, well, obviously, Lucy wouldn't listen to her at all. Lena closed the file and leaned back in her chair. "By all means, regale me with everything that is well and good about Kara Danvers," she said sarcastically, wishing desperately for her fourth cup of coffee of the day, and it hadn't even breached noon yet.

"I'm not any happier about how things turned out than you are," Lucy clarified firmly. "And trust me, I would prefer not to…know anything about your sex life whatsoever, but you and Kara are my friends. I mean, I seriously did tell you not to sleep with her. In all caps."

"Do you want to know what I was doing when you texted me?"

Lucy shuddered visibly and almost hopped out of her seat. "Please desist," she pleaded in a whisper. "All I'm saying is that I know Kara. She's not cunning or vicious or anything you're probably thinking she is right now. Not in general anyway," she added. "I mean, yeah, sure, she's fucking smart. There's a reason Cat Grant was her mentor. And she knows her way in a courtroom. But she's not someone who stoops low."

Lena had heard all these in different variations, in as many words, from people she trusted. She had read all these in different variations, in as many words, from sources she trusted.

"She's not perfect."

"No, definitely not. She did almost marry Mike Matthews. And she's temperamental. And other things that I don't care to talk about right now."

"I am allowed my pettiness," Lena said after prolonged silence.

"Sure."

"Then what's the problem?"

Lucy studied her with an undecipherable expression, a look that she usually carried when questioning witnesses or plotting strategies for the next case and the next case and the next case – you get the idea. Eventually, the brunette pushed to her feet and made her way to the door, but stopped before opening it.

"I like her for you." Lena blinked at the abruptness. "I like you for her too," Lucy added. "I'll admit I've never really thought about it, even though you two have so many mutual friends. It's actually a wonder that you've never met before. But yeah, I can see you two being good together. Really good."

Lena frowned. "I think you're thinking too far ahead."

"Am I?"

In turn, Lena studied Lucy herself. Lucy Lane, who was an absolute beast and pretty much the reason Lena decided to join the district. If Lena was impassive, Lucy was emotionless, which made her perfect for the job.

It didn't matter whether she was prosecuting a perfectly innocent individual or the most ruthless serial criminal within the country – Lucy had never once displayed bias or preferences. If she was handed a case, she would do her damn best to win. And the woman's record was practically clean.

So Lena didn't quite understand what was happening right now. She couldn't comprehend why Lucy was practically encouraging Lena to pursue a relationship or something or other with Kara. Not after the debacle with Siobhan and Leslie.

"When are you and James getting married?" she asked offhandedly as she made to face her computer, deciding to go with nonchalance.

Lucy stared at her for a long moment before she chuckled. "Nicely played."

"See you tonight, Lucy," Lena drawled, a smirk starting stretch at the corner of her lips.

The DA conceded with a dip of her chin and exited Lena's office. Meanwhile, Lena stared at the screen, but wasn't absorbing anything. She shouldn't be distracted in the middle of such a big case, but nonetheless, she was.

"Don't hate me."

"Why would I hate you?"

"Well, there are a lot of reasons. Teaching your mom what double texting is, for one."

"That was you?"

"Yeah, but that's not the point," Sam quickly dismissed, waving her hand aimlessly. She glanced at a corner in the bar and turned back to Lena. "I…kind of confronted Kara in the afternoon," she continued, wincing and smiling sheepishly.

Lena dropped the wine glass on the booth, switching on her glare at her best friend. "Why won't you leave it alone?" she complained.

"I'm a lawyer. I don't know how to do that." Sam glanced away again. "And I might have told her that you'll be here tonight."

"Might have or definitely have?"

"Definitely. I definitely have told her. She's actually at the bar right now," her fellow ADA offered, gesturing in the direction of the bar, where Kara was apparently ordering a drink with the bartender. "And she's coming here. I'm gonna make myself scarce. Bye. I love you."

"No, don't you dare."

But it was of no use. Sam was already gone, sidling towards another booth where her colleagues were seated, imbibing themselves recklessly on a Friday night. Lena made a note to buy Ruby as much ice-cream as possible the next time she saw the girl.

She huffed and gulped down her wine, slamming it down empty, resolute to not find out if a certain blonde was actually making her way here. She spun the stem of the glass, watching the light reflect off the surface and cursing that she had made a best friend who really didn't know how to leave things alone.

And then…the atmosphere changed. Well, what did you know? Lena had somehow obtained the ability to sense when Kara was nearby. That wasn't going to be troubling at all. She was so pathetic, dear god.

"Let me just start off by saying I'm sorry," Kara preempted as she slid into the seat that Sam vacated, her eyes gleaming with sincerity.

Lena sighed and braced herself for what was to come. Still, she had to make an effort, so she said, "You know, if we're not supposed to talk before, we really shouldn't be talking about it now. Conflict of interest and all. I'm sure you know how it is."

"There is no conflict of interest."

"You almost married him, for god's sake."

"And I didn't, and that's not what I want to talk about!" Kara exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "Please, will you just listen to me? If you still don't want to see me after this, I promise – I swear – I'll leave you alone. It will be as if we never…" she drifted off, as if unsure of whether she should complete the sentence.

Lena was grateful she didn't. She sighed again and nodded, allowing Kara this chance.

"I saw the documents by accident. I didn't even see the whole thing. I just saw his name and I – I panicked. And I ran, so I'm sorry for that," Kara explained quickly, like she was afraid that Lena would run away if she didn't take advantage. Maybe Lena would. "I had no idea you were building a case against him. I had no idea that it would a case like that."

"He raped women. You can say it. He raped vulnerable, young women who were besotted and genuinely thought he was an honest representative who would fight for their rights," Lena challenged, raising a brow.

Kara hesitated, and a part of Lena understood. She really did, which was why she had been hesitant to let Kara be so near in the first place. Broken up or not, the blonde had once loved him enough to want to marry him, and that was a lot. This was a lot.

But she wasn't going to allow Kara this leeway. The facts were clear. She had drawers of files, documents, and testimonies to back her up. Women who had become statistics because of one man who thought himself above it all.

"He raped women," Kara relented eventually, and Lena couldn't the relief that flooded through her. "And I am – I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Part of me wants to think that he didn't do it, because if he did – if he did, then I almost married a monster." She took a deep breath, shuddering. "I know I broke so many rules and unwritten boundaries. I invaded your privacy. And I really am sorry, Lena."

The raven-haired woman huffed, because Kara wasn't making it easy for her to stay angry. She left Kara hanging for a second, two seconds, three seconds, before she nodded. She trusted Cat. She trusted Lucy. And god forbid, she believed Kara.

"Okay," she offered.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Kara grinned, and Lena had to wonder how anyone could cheat on a woman with that kind of smile. So brilliant and entrancing that no one should be looking anywhere else, for the love of god.

"So, what does – what does this mean?" Kara asked, prompting Lena to tilt her head in question. "For us."

"Oh."

Kara squinted. "Oh?"

Much as Lena wanted the opposite, she knew boundaries were important at this point. "It was fun, that night," she said, and when she saw the gladness on Kara's face, she felt a hint of regret, but she had to do it. "But let's leave it at that." That gladness dimmed, damn it. "We can never work. We will never work, Kara."

The blonde appeared as if she wanted to argue. She actually looked like she had an array of arguments ready. And Lena was sure – she was so sure that once she heard those reasons, she would invite Kara back to her apartment. And rinse, repeat.

But then Kara stopped herself, closing her mouth again. She exhaled sharply and looked away for a second – Lena could swear she saw moisture lingering behind those glasses, and it made her want to take everything she'd just said.

"Can we be friends then?" Kara requested.

Well, that wasn't too bad. "Friends," Lena obliged.

it's not me if there's no angst

but you gotta admit the angst here is significantly less painful than my other fics