Sorry about the wait guys but the computer crashed on me and my nearly done chapters were wiped clean along with everything else from the memory. Anyway this one's probably better than the last copy but still it's where Salena hires the Weasley twins for her assistance. Read and review please.

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"Yes I know but—wait a minute that's it!"

"What's it? Did I say something?"

"Naomi you're a genius! You've just given me an excellent idea to get that fraud off my back for good, but we're going to need a little help with this plan, and I know just who to call into it."

&

Two days after planning her little scheme of bringing down Lockhart, Salena finally managed to sneak some of Snape's potions from his private stocks; no thanks to all the heavy assignments she had to grade while asking Naomi to keep an eye out for the Weasley twins in case she could catch them in a prank on other students.

'This is gonna be a long day for me…but at least I'm covering for a good class.'

Today Salena had to cover for Madame Sprout's Herbology class of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors since they were almost through the middle of the year with the attacks and all. The thoughts of having time to think vanished instantly when she saw Fred and George seated a table looking as smug as ever.

"What are you two up to now?" the twins looked at her and paled at her staring green eyes. The other students smiled because they had all been in other classes she took over but was nice to them. Salena made her way to the desk and pulled out a note Madame Sprout left and smiled at the students.

"Okay then everyone, it seems Madame Sprout has something fun for you today…to take of baby Venus bulbs, which means fresh soil, water, fertilizer, and calming potion because they intend to get fussy in the early stages of development. Also watch out for the thorns on the roots because one prick on the finger could result in poison ivy and/or stomach virus since they have poison gases in their roots for protection against any unwanted germs or bacteria. My advisement, wear your gloves and masks."

All the students nodded and prepared themselves for class while Salena pulled out a book on Wizard Legends similar to the one she'd bought at Flourish and Blott's but explained legends about wizards from 1000 years back in her time.

"Um excuse me professor?" Penelope Clearwater raised her hand high catching Salena's attention.

"Yes Penelope?"

"I seem to have misplaced my gloves somewhere, could I use a pair from the closet?"

"Yes they're in the lower right shelf, but make it quick." Penelope nodded and left for the supply closet. Salena's ears caught some soft chuckling in the back where Fred and George were seated with two large smirks on their faces.

'What are they up to this time?' "Boys is there something you'd like to share with the class?" All eyes turned to the back at the twins' seat; Fred and George just grinned and spoke in an eerie sweet tone.

"No ma'am, we were just telling each other jokes we made up last night."

"Well the jokes can wait otherwise your grades will suffer for it, now please get back to work."

"Yes ma'am." The class continued working on the fussy bulbs and Salena continued reading her book. Thirty minutes went by and almost everyone was finished until there was a loud BOOM!! Potions splashed everywhere along the floors and desks, plus waking up some of the bulbs that cried louder than mandrake.

"Silencio!" Salena's spell flew everywhere silencing the bulbs and the students; she cleaned up the mess and sent the finished bulbs into the greenhouse before glaring at the back right where Fred and George were.

"Everyone but Fred and George Weasley may leave, don't forget to fill out your progress reports on the bulbs and place them on Professor Sprout's desk before Monday afternoon." Everyone filed out of the classroom except Fred and George who paled at the sight of Salena's glaring green eyes.

"Come here boys." They didn't move, Salena calmed her gaze and sat back down. "Boys come on I won't bite you, we just need to discuss your punishment for this." The twins nodded and walked up cautiously to the desk, hands by their sides, and eyes on the professor.

"How much detention will you give us?" George asked nervously.

"Detention, who said anything about detention; I just need a few favors from you, which I'm sure you won't object to them."

"Favors professor?"

"Yes, you see I'm having trouble with a certain professor that doesn't get the idea of rejection. I've got a plan to get him off my back, but I need you both to get a few things for me…plus I'm sure you know how to get them."

"It depends Professor Sardinia, what exactly do you want us to do?"

"I have a list…here let me get it for you." Salena reached into her pocket and pulled out a small roll of parchment and handed it to Fred. He took it and opened it up before showing it to George before their eyes widened and looked at their professor.

"Dye colors, a set of Lockhart's robes, shampoo, conditioner, and his wig? Professor Sardinia are you really plotting what we think you're plotting?"

"Depends on what you think boys, and in addition to your help I shall not only reward Gryffindor thirty points for assisting a teacher, but I will also grant you both certain old books of mine that explain how you can create your own little joke toys and food other than dung bombs and explosives. So what do you say?"

"What if we get caught?"

"Then all you have to do is call me and I'll take full responsibility in front of the whole school if I have to. Now do we have a deal?" the twins looked at each other and thought for a minute before looking back at Salena.

"Deal."

"Excellent." Salena spoke in a soft tune almost like a snake's hiss.

&

"Mistress, did they take the deal?" Naomi asked slinking down from her spot on the bed as Salena waited for Fred and George to bring back the supplies she asked for. Salena couldn't contain the fidgety feeling in her knees as she sat down on the bed; they kept bouncing slightly and twitching ankles didn't really make it any better.

"Yes they took the deal Naomi, but would it kill them to maybe get here already, I'm not a very patient person."

"You were during those thousand years we were frozen in crystal."

"Yes but that only felt like a second to me. Damn what the hell is taking so long?!"

"Salena calm down, they'll be here…those two know better than to turn down a request like this."

"I know I'm just too excited to wait; I almost feel like I'm fourteen again. Though it does feel strange…"

"Shh someone's coming…" Naomi pointed her tail at the door and hid quickly under the bed behind the bed curtain silently as there came a knock on the door. Salena got up and opened the door seeing it was the boy she'd run into in the corridor.

"Package for you from the Weasley twins professor." He spoke holding up a large and somewhat heavy box as big as the width of his arms. She took it from his arms and placed it on her bed.

"Thank you….um, what's your name again?"

"I'm sorry professor, my name's Edward Eckerley; but I prefer being called either Ed or Eddie."

"Well thank you Mr. Eckerley, you may return to your studies now."

"Yes professor." The boy left and shut the door behind him, and Salena jumped on the bed and dug through the box until a low hiss got her attention again.

'Not another one, who's it going after this time?'

"Mistress, did they get it?" Naomi slunk out from under the bed and to the other side of the box trying to peer inside.

"Hold on Naomi, I have to make sure this is done properly. Now let's see, the boys already took care of dying the shampoo, conditioner, and wig, so all I have to do is fix the clothes and sneak them back into Lockhart's quarters and we're good." Salena pulled out a small bottle of magenta colored dye from the box and yanked out Lockhart's robes putting three to four drops on each piece of clothing.

"That oughtta do it, now to figure out how to sneak back in to Lockhart's office…"

"Why not ask the twins to sneak it back in there?"

"Wish I could but I don't have anything else to offer them."

"Felix Felicis?"

"You know that takes forever to make…maybe five more points to Gryffindor will do it."

"Okay then, but remember what you promised them in case they get caught."

"I know Naomi; I would never take back a promise to a student. Wait here while I go get the twins, and hide the box." Naomi nodded and Salena left the room locking the door, and wandered out of the Slytherin house into the corridor where she accidentally ran into Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They dropped their books and fell on their backs, while Salena just stumbled slightly.

"Oh sorry boys I didn't see you there." She helped them up to their feet and handed them their books.

"No professor it was our fault, we didn't look where we were going."

"Boys it was my fault, I was in such a rush I didn't see you two in front of me, but five points to Gryffindor for being considerate to a teacher. Ronald have you seen your brothers Fred and George, I need to speak to them about something."

"Yeah I think they're outside near Hagrid's hut…"

"Thank you Mr. Weasley." They left and Salena walked down the corridor, out the small door and spotted the two looking at the books she'd given them. Just as she walked up to them they turned around and looked at her confused and amazed.

"Professor Sardinia what a nice surprise." They said together.

"Nice to see you too boys, now I know this is sort of quick but I need another favor from you both."

"Does it have to do with Lockhart?"

"Yes."

"Excellent, so what's our job ma'am?"

"I need you to sneak Lockhart's things back into his room before he realizes they're missing…can you do that for me?"

"What's our pay?"

"Five more points to Gryffindor and I'll take off the other two detentions you owe Professor Snape and McGonagall. So what do you say?"

The twins thought for a minute before looking at each other and smiled before looking back at Salena.

"We're in, but is the deal still intact?"

"Oh yes boys, it's still intact and stronger than ever." Salena smirked at the two who smirked back and nodded their heads.

'Oh this is gonna be good.'

&

Change of P.O.V.:

The next day seemed to go by slowly for Fred and George Weasley; now that they had done Gryffindor a big favor the excitement of Professor Sardinia's prank was eating away at their insides.

"Hey Fred, ya think Sardinia's plan'll really work?" George smiled at his twin preparing for their class in DADA. Fred chuckled under his breath whispering in George's ear.

"I'm not sure, but at least we won't have to suffer for it later."

"Yeah if he finds out whose idea it was to begin with." The whole class was talking or setting up books for class when Lockhart suddenly walked in through the door wearing the robes Professor Sardinia had borrowed the day before.

"Good afternoon class, now if you'll turn to page fifteen in my autobiography of 'Magical Me', I want you to read chapters two through four and write a little essay, one roll to be precise, on what you think of my work and if you could create an autobiography of yourself, would it include how you were taught by me and why."

Part of the class groaned while the other awed and stared at Lockhart dreamily, but just most of the girls did that. Fred and George looked over at their friend Eddie who smiled as he pulled out his materials.

"What d'you think's got him all excited?" Fred whispered to George.

"Dunno, must be a happy day for him." They shrugged and wrote down just a few sentences when Fred looked up about to yawn when something caught his eye. He nudged George who looked up and saw what Fred was pointing at. Lockhart's robes were turning a bright pink, while his skin turned purple, and his hair a good swirl of pink and purple.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?" Lockhart pulled on his shirt collar and turned around to pick up a book. Fred and George were snickering in the back and caught Eddie's attention whose mouth dropped in agape. They suddenly knew what Professor Sardinia had planned and were sure it was bound to work; this was in Lockhart's third class before lunch but the potions were now working for some reason.

"Um…p-professor…?" a girl in Ravenclaw spoke up noticing his new appearance. Lockhart didn't seem to hear her, just focused more on his books and looks. The other students started noticing the strange appearance, jaws dropping, eyes bulging, girls giggling, boys gasping…it was just about to get crazy.

Lockhart looked up at them as a look of confusion crossed his face; he glanced at the girls smirking and standing up.

"Alright, what's the joke? C'mon now enlighten me…what is it that's making you all so jittery today?" No one said anything, just giggling. "Come on now, I can take a joke as much as the next person." Still not a soul stood up for about five minutes, irritating Lockhart. "Alright, I want to know what this little joke is all about and I want to know now!! Out with it, all of you!!" this terrified the class, even Fred nearly jumped out of his seat with his brother. Now everyone was too scared to stand, at least until Eddie stood up and shouted at the peeved professor.

"Professor Lockhart, whatever you do don't look in the mirror!" the class shook their heads agreeing with Eddie because if Lockhart was mad now, it would only make it worse later.

"What do you mean don't look in the mirr--…?" Lockhart turned around to look at his reflection, eyes widening instantly. His skin had turned to a light lilac purple mixed with berry pink, while his hair was bright neon pink and his robes were fuchsia. He turned around with his mouth still open, looked around at the class…and screamed.

"AAAHH WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?! MY HAIR, MY FACE, MY BEST ROBES ALL RUINED!!" Lockhart immediately ran out the room screaming, causing the whole class to roar with laughter.

&

Back to Salena:

"What in God's name is that screaming?" Salena was walking down the corridor carrying an armload of books to Snape's dungeon when screams nearly made her drop her load. Just as she walked close to the door Snape walked out looking around before spotting Salena.

"Why are you making so much noise, and when there are classes in progress?!"

"That wasn't me…it came from the classroom upstairs." Salena's eyes widened slightly but it caught Snape's eye before she could hide it.

"What did you do?" Salena almost spoke when charging footsteps were heard coming down the hall.

"You're about to find out…" she smirked and turned seeing color-swirled Gilderoy Lockhart coming their way. Lockhart suddenly slowed down and stopped in front of Salena but didn't seem to notice her.

"Severus do you have an antidote for this?!" Snape's mouth dropped open, as did Salena's but she faked it. Lockhart seemed to get impatient, he grabbed Snape's robe and pulled his face close to his own.

"I don't have time to be playing around man! I need an antidote soon before I find the brigand responsible for this prank!!" Snape pulled the hand off his robe and looked at Lockhart and glancing at Salena, whose mouth was tightly shut in a small smile.

"First I'll need some of your hair Lockhart, to test and see what sort of antidote is needed, otherwise you'll wind up looking like lollipop swirls for a while. For now I suggest you hand me a lock of your hair and return to your quarters before…" the bell suddenly rang and seconds' later students were walking in the hallway, shocked at the scene before them.

"Professor Lockhart…y-you're…" a Ravenclaw girl stammered, her friends giggled behind her. Whispers were heard everywhere, and Lockhart's face was turning a blotchy red, pink and purple making his complexion look disgusting. He gave a bow to Salena and Snape, before running off in the same direction as fast as a jackrabbit with its feet caught on fire.

"All of you return to the Great Hall for lunch, nothing more to see here now move!" Snape shouted loud enough to make all the students head down for the hallway, just as he yanked Salena into his empty classroom. She dropped her books on a nearby desk and looked at Snape, still restraining herself.

"You can let it out now…" Snape casted a silent charm around the room and Salena started laughing like a silly hyena. She held her gut almost falling over on her back, luckily supporting herself on the wall.

"Oh come on it's not that funny…"

"I-It…huff huff…is t-to me, hah hah hah hah haha!!" After a few minutes Salena stopped to catch her breath and straightened herself up. "Sorry I just couldn't hold it in, this is so much funnier than that time I filled my brother's undergarments with termites." The giggling ceased as a pair of black eyes glared at the snake princess.

"What?"

"That would explain why some of my ingredients went missing last night, and the fact that the Weasley twins were so full of joy yesterday."

"So what, if this doesn't get Lockhart off my back then nothing will…"

"You could've just told him you know…"

"I tried but he wouldn't listen…so now I've paid him back for all the times he's embarrassed me in public."

"You know your job could be in jeopardy if he or anyone else finds out you're the one that set it all up."

"So what if he finds out, I can take care of myself I'm not a child."

"If you say so."

"Oh I know so, now if you'll excuse me I have to get to the Great Hall."

"So do I but that's not really a problem now is it?"

"No, but don't get all close to me because I don't want the students spreading rumors around the whole school." Snape scoffed but obliged about six feet behind Salena while she walked to the Great Hall. The door behind the teachers' table was opened a crack and their seats were empty with food on their plates. Lockhart's spot was empty, both chair and plate together.

'I didn't think I'd got him that good…or that bad.'

"Unless you wish to stare at Lockhart's seat all afternoon I suggest we take ours before suspicions start to rise." They took their seats and ate in silence for about ten more minutes before someone else jogged through the door.

'Madame Pomfrey...this can't be good.' Salena saw the med-witch come running to Dumbledore and whispered something in his ear. Dumbledore seemed a little surprised but whispered back to Madame Pomfrey and she left. Nothing happened through the rest of dinner, just the usual business of talking, eating, etc. Just as dinner ended Salena heard another hiss through the walls, this time it was low.

'That's too low to be the basilisk, it has to be Naomi.'

"Mistress I know you're right in front of me, I must warn you Lockhart's gotten suspicious more quickly than we'd thought. Keep your guard up because I think he's on to the Weasley twins; better warn them before it's too late."

'Hmm…he's not as dumb as I thought; better give the boys a message quickly before bed.' People started exiting through the doors and out the corridors, plus the Weasley twins had already left unnoticed and Salena was already beginning to worry.

'Where'd those boys get to?' suddenly Fred Weasley came out from a corner spotting Salena just as she ran up grabbing his arm and yanking him towards a corner.

"Professor what…?"

"Shh Fred quiet…" Salena glanced for eavesdroppers and whispered close to Fred's ear so only he could hear her. "I need you to and George to keep your guard up in case Lockhart catches wind of you two working for me. I'm not sure what he'd do if he found out, but I just don't want anyone to get hurt…"

"Yeah considering on how angry he was at his reflection during class today I guess he'd do about anything…to find out…"

"Yes so please keep watch; now you'd better hurry before you're late for class, and if you are tell them I held you up a little now go!" Fred took off immediately while Salena left for the girls' restroom. She went over to the circle of sinks and turned on the faucet, cupping the water in her hands and splashing it on her face to wake up.

"W-Who are you…?" a tiny voice spoke up shyly making Salena's heart still for a second until she turned around seeing a ghost girl, supposedly crying.

"You're Moaning Myrtle, the girl that's been haunting this bathroom…I was wondering when I'd see you."

"A-Are you a p-professor…? I-I don't remember seeing y-you here before…?"

"I'm new dear, and please don't stutter you sound like poor Professor Quirrell."

"Sorry…are you alright? You looked frightened for a moment there…"

"I'm fine; I guess you sort of scared me jumping out like that…"

"I'm sorry…"

"S'alright, well I'd better be heading back now thoug—wait Myrtle, before I leave have you seen anyone come in here lately, a student or maybe a teacher?"

Myrtle thought for a while but shook her head looking scared again so Salena didn't press any further. She nodded at Myrtle then left right afterwards, just before someone ran into her as she came out the door.

"Ouch!" they said suddenly grabbing their left arm until Salena saw it was Professor Trelawney recognizing the enormous spectacles she wore. The woman looked at her and smiled slightly before bowing politely.

"F-Forgive me Eleanor, I didn't see you come out."

"It's alright Sybil, nothing's damaged so we're both fine. Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I'm on my way there now, aren't you off today?"

"Yes, but I'll be back tomorrow morning…but I suggest you hurry before Dumbledore sees you out here."

Trelawney nodded but mumbled under her breath as she left. Salena went the other way to the garden for a small walk around the place until she reached Hagrid's hut. There she'd probably run into Naomi feasting on weasels and rodents somewhere in the pumpkin patch.

'Today seems to be going by so quickly…I finally returned the favor for that bugger Lockhart. Serves him right to try and embarrass me in front of everyone…maybe now he understands what that's like…'

Salena continued walking until she heard someone call out her name from up above in the covered walkway.

"Professor Sardinia, I'm sorry to bother you but your presence is requested in the Dark Arts classroom!" it was Eddie again.

"I'll be right up." Salena walked back around the way she came and strode over to the Dark Arts classroom. 'Wait…today's that dueling club gathering, maybe Lockhart won't show up and I'm a small replacement, this should be fun.' Salena smirked as she opened the door to the classroom but stopped abruptly when she saw Lockhart standing there, and many students surrounding him as if nothing had happened recently.

"Eleanor my dear, come to see me teach perhaps?" he asked striding over to her.

"Gilderoy, are you well?"

"Why yes of course, despite that little prank this morning I feel just fine. I've already caught the little pranksters responsible and I'll be taking their toll of explanation and punishment later on tomorrow before lunch. Were you worried about me?"

'Not at chance…' "Well not completely but you did give everyone a scare, and I'm here because a student said my presence was requested here." 'To see my prank wear off, but it was bound to happen sooner or later, just hope Fred and George remember what to do.' Just then Salena spotted Snape up behind a gang of Slytherins, looking agitated though somewhat relaxed.

"Oh…well alright, feel free to compliment me after the show."

'Yeah on being a complete idiot…damn I knew I should've made it last longer.'

Lockhart walked off towards the small walkway, climbed the stairs and began the 'lesson'. Salena just kept her eyes on the kids; everything out of Lockhart's mouth was slurred or muffled to her ears, until he threw his cape out to a group of girls, overjoyed at his excitement. Severus was introduced afterwards but he didn't seem so glad about any of this; not really surprising. Just as he approached Lockhart everything went with standard procedure, wands drawn, bowing, both men on either end of the stage, and positions taken for the 'battle'.

"One…two…three…"

"Expelliarmus!" Snape's curse sent Lockhart flying backwards and on his back; Salena couldn't hold back the laughter escaping her lips, luckily none of the students heard it. Lockhart stood up and walked over to Snape, bringing up a bigger grin than ever.

"An excellent idea to show them that Professor Snape but if you don't mind me saying, it was pretty obvious on what you were about to do, and if I had stopped you it would have only been too easy."

"Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells." Lockhart's grin faded for a second.

"An excellent suggestion Professor Snape, now let's have a volunteer pair…uh Potter, Weasley how about you?" Snape objected to letting Ron on stage and suggested Malfoy in his place. The blonde happily obliged and the battle soon began.

'This ought to be fun.' Salena looked pleased with the two boys, seeing that they'd learned a lot this year so far; until Malfoy shouted a spell that formed a cobra. It slithered across the stage over to a group on the left side until Snape spoke up.

"Don't move Potter, I'll get rid of it for you."

"Allow me Professor Snape." Lockhart did a spell but only threw the snake in the air and land back in the middle.

"Idiot…" Salena whispered until the snake moved closer to the same group it eyed before. Harry slowly moved forward but out of his mouth came a loud hissing noise even Salena could hear from where she was.

"Leave him alone!" she translated the hissing and glanced at Snape when it ended; he glanced at her and she nodded. Taking that as a hint Snape destroyed the snake just before everyone looked at Harry all weird. Just a few minutes after that everyone left and exited for study hours. Lockhart left to his office and Snape came up to Salena pulling her outside into the corridor when it was clear.

"You heard that right?"

"The parseltongue you mean? Yes I heard it, but are you wondering what the boy said?"

"Yes…"

"He told the snake to back off just before you destroyed it. You and everyone else must've thought he told it to attack or something."

"Well considering on how we all don't speak parseltongue except you and Potter then yes we were clueless on what he said."

"Fine then…do you need anything before dinner starts?"

"No, I have essays to check but thanks for your concern." Salena left the room after that walking down toward her own classroom for some last minute cleaning before dinner.

'How could that potion take so long to work, yet so little to hold up? Must've been a certain ingredient I put it…oh well, at least Lockhart should calm down about it tomorrow morning.' Salena soon entered her class using her magic to bring out the cleaning tools and start; little did she know a pair of lustful eyes was staring at her, up and down.

&

Sorry about the long wait again, but as you know computer crashed, files erased, starting over etc. Next chapter's called "Consequences" where it's the ending of the Chamber of Secrets and of what Lockhart does to people who try to humiliate him and his stardom. Can you guess who he's after? Find out later and please review.