Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If you're a doctor, deal with it! If you're a lawyer, please don't ;-)

oOo

A short time later, the two Jedi had arrived in front of the door leading to the command centre. Inside, they could hear the nervous babbling of the Neimoidians.

Outside the bridge, Qui-Gon plunged his lightsaber into the thick metal door, slowly cutting a circular hole in it trying to get in. Obi-Wan was standing guard in case that annoying protocol droid should return and offer them any more drinks or some more battle droids should come their way. Plus he looked a whole lot cooler standing there with his lightsaber and guarding his Master's back than he would idly watching his Master doing all the work.

But as the Trade Federation types, as Qui-Gon liked to call them, were not only cowards but also paranoid, they had an extra set of doors installed for just such an event, which they also closed promptly.

As Qui-Gon heard the thud of the reinforced doors slamming shut, he withdrew his lightsaber and then plunged it in again, this time in the middle of the door. The thick metal started to melt, which only caused the panic inside the room to intensify.

Finally, though, the droidekas arrived. And although Obi-Wan clearly saw them coming and even shouted "Master! Destroyers!" no one did anything as long as they were still vulnerable without their shields up. Rather, the two Jedi waited for the droids to open fire, deflecting a few of the shots.

"They have shield generators!" Obi-Wan stated, quite superfluously, in his Master's opinion, as it was painstakingly obvious that they did.

"Why, thank you for the update, Captain Obvious," Qui-Gon mumbled in response.

oOo

The viceroy of the Trade Federation was hugely relieved as he watched the two cloaked figures run down another long hallway faster than they had any right to be.

What he didn't know was that they had only used the destroyers as a welcome excuse to stop their attempt to get into the command centre, because they wouldn't have known what to do in there once they had gained entrance, and beside it was much more exciting like this, anyway.

When Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon reached the end of the endless hallway, they did what was required to happen at least once in every self-respecting action movie: They went up the ventilation shafts.

While they crawled through the narrow pipes, Obi-Wan asked: "Master, why don't we do this more often? I mean running at Force-enhanced speed. It seems pretty useful when one is in a tight spot. Why is that the only time we are allowed to do this? It might actually save your live when we fight that Sith later on. If I were allowed to run as fast as we did just now, I could reach you in time. Of course I know that there is the distinct possibility of my running straight into that huge abyss in the middle of the room because I can't slow down in time, but as I will fall in there anyway, I could at least give it a try."

Qui-Gon stopped in his crawling and looked over his shoulder to his apprentice, blinking in surprise at what he had just heard from his student.

After a short moment of consideration, he answered:

"Well, running so fast might be very convenient for us at times. But have you noticed that we completely left the cameraman behind? He can't run as fast as we can and has no chance of catching up with us like this. So please take pity on the poor man who has to follow us and give him a chance to do his job. He can never get the footage he needs if we always run away from him. Besides, you would completely upset the rest of the storyline if you saved me from dying, and I am not sure if the producer would be very appreciative of that. You know, Padawan, that you must always listen to the will of the producer… erm, I mean the will of the Force, of course. And besides, didn't I tell you not to centre on your anxieties but to keep your focus on the here and now, no matter what Master Yoda has to say on that matter. Just because he's green, wrinkly and old doesn't mean that he knows everything."

And with that, he turned around again and resumed their advance towards the hangar bay, his Padawan who was lost in thought following in his wake.

Finally arriving at the hangar bay, Qui-Gon dropped out of the ventilation shaft, followed closely by Obi-Wan. Immediately, they hid behind a few crates that had been stacked there for their convenience. The hangar was teeming with battle droids boarding numerous ships that would take them to the surface of Naboo.

"Battle droids." said Qui-Gon.

But when it came to stating the obvious, his Padawan was not to be outdone: "It's an invasion army!"

"Of course it's an invasion army. Duh! What else would thousands of these brainless battle droids be good for? Certainly not as entertainment for the Queen's birthday party! You know, stating the obvious is fairly redundant at times,"Qui-Gon bristled. Then, he added: "This is an odd play for the Trade Federation. We've got to warn the Naboo and contact Chancellor Valorum."

Obi-Wan was slightly irritated that his Master always unfailingly rebuked him for things he himself did all the time. But then he remembered that Qui-Gon would have to die by the end of the movie and decided that instead of arguing with his Master, he should enjoy the little time that remained for them to spend together.

"Let's split up, stow aboard separate ships and meet down on the planet." Qui-Gon instructed.

At this, Obi-Wan looked up, feeling slightly uneasy with the way his Master had just contradicted his thoughts. And even though the spindly battle droids were not exactly bright and would notice two Jedi on board just as much as a single one, and on top of that meeting on the planet was probably a lot more complicated than simply staying together, Obi-Wan abided by his Master's orders.

But he couldn't resist a little barb and so he said with a teasing grin: "You were right about one thing, Master… The negotiations were short."

oOo

Meanwhile on the control bridge of the Trade Federation ship, Queen Amidala, the elected leader of the Naboo, was talking to the viceroy. Strangely, though, she didn't appear as the usual blue holographic image but in colour on a huge screen that rippled like the surface of some fluid. Although this technology didn't have any obvious drawbacks in comparison to the holoimages, this would be the only time it would be used, probably because it looked less cool.

The queen herself looked like a young girl, which was as it should be, because she was a young girl of fourteen. Aside from that, she looked like the mutual child of a clown and a treasure chest: her face was painted stark white with red lips and red dots on her cheeks. She wore an elaborate headdress along with an equally elaborate hairdo that looked as if it would weigh so much that her slender neck was in constant danger of simply snapping from the strain of holding her head up. She also wore a rather stiff formal robe that matched the overall colour theme of face paint and headdress perfectly.

The viceroy was rather pleased that at last, their actions had brought on some results.

He greeted Queen Amidala, not quite managing to banish the gloating from his voice: "Again you come before us, Your Highness."

In a formal and monotone voice, the Queen answered: "You will not be so pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy!"

Then, in a rather whiny voice, she complained: "You and your Trade Federation guys are such meanies. I don't like you! You are sooooo mean. If you don't stop bullying me, I will go and tell the senate! Give my planet back! It's mine! You can't take it, it's unfair! I want it back!"

Indignantly, she stomped her foot. As this wasn't followed by the reaction she had hoped for (the Trade Federation giving back her planet), she started pouting: "Your trade boycott of our planet has ended! You are not allowed to block my planet any more. And I am sure you will be punished severely for your transgressions. You won't be allowed to use the phone for at least a fortnight. And no emails or SMS, either. You won't be able to gossip with all your friends. And you won't be allowed to watch your favourite series on TV!"

For all her royal appearance, the Queen of Naboo was obviously still only a teenage girl.

Highly amused, the Viceroy taunted: "I was not aware of such failure."

At this, Amidala gloated: "But I have word that the Chancellor's ambassadors are with you now and that you've been commanded to reach settlement. So this is what you get for being so mean. They will rap you on your knuckles, and then you will be sent to bed early. I am sure you will get no sweets for an entire week and you'll be grounded for at least three days. And no pocket money for you next month! Serves you well for being such bullies!"

At first, the Viceroy was shocked. Grounded for three days? No pocket money? Being sent to bed early? If that was true, then the next few weeks would be a complete disaster. But then he remembered what had happened with the Jedi: they were gone for good, probably somewhere on the planet with all the battle droids around searching for them. Surely, they wouldn't survive much longer.

So he simply told her: "I know nothing of any ambassadors. You must be mistaken."

This did not sit well with the Queen: "You are really getting on my nerves. This is so uncool. You have gone too far this time, Viceroy! I will tell all of your misbehaviour to my senator, he is a really nice and grandfatherly guy even though he's evil on the inside, and he will tell the Supreme Chancellor. And then you can see what you get from being so bad!"

The Viceroy countered: "We would never do anything without the approval of the senate. You assume too much."

With a last sulking "We will see!" the Queen disappeared from the screen, effectively ending the conversation.

The Viceroy then ordered that all communications on Naboo were to be disrupted.

oOo

And really, just as Queen Amidala was talking to "her" Senator Palpatine who looked exactly like Darth Sidious without the hood, the communications broke down.

"What's happening?" the Queen asked alarmed.

Captain Panaka ordered: "Check the transmission generator!"

And Sio Bibble chimed in: "A communications disruption can mean only one thing: invasion."

What they didn't know was that it had not been necessary at all for the Trade Federation to disrupt communications as apparently Naboo hadn't paid its phone bill and so the phone company had shot down all their communication systems. It seemed that the Queen was very fond of talking to her royal friends on Alderaan for hours on end and that the national treasure couldn't pay the horrendous sum they had been charged for these long-distance calls.

Amidala was pleased that she could blame the Viceroy for that: "Yeah, that's it. Exactly! It's all the Trade Federation's fault! They shut down our communications."

oOo

Edited on 24th December, 2010