Disclaimer: I do not own :)

Warnings: Swearing, sexual themes and discussion of rape

A/N: I'd just quickly like to say, most of this was written/conceived at 3am, because I couldn't sleep. If it seems kinda lacking, that would be why. I would have spent more time and effort, and less walking zombie hours on it, if I thought I could (yay for story induced insomnia that makes me miss classes).

"You know the funny thing about werewolves, Severus?" The words hung heavy in the air. Neither of us had expected a reunion, especially not one like this. "The funny thing about werewolves is, we mate for life. We can't just sleep with whoever we like and just forget it in the morning, we've got to carefully think it through so that we don't end up bonded to someone that doesn't want us."

"What are you trying to say?" Panic ran through his voice. It was so sharp, I could almost taste it.

"What I'm saying is, I can never even hope to look at another because I was stupid enough to think you might love me." I had tried so hard to get over him, only to find every date I went on, every man I tried to form a connection with ended up making me think of Severus. My luna curse found new and inventive ways of screwing me over. "I'd kill you if I thought that would help, but I'm pretty sure that would just put me in permanent mourning."

"I'm sorry." his words only managed to anger me more. It was too late for apologies, especially when he didn't even fully understand what he had done. He hadn't just ruined me for other men, but effectively ensured I would obsess over him for the rest of my life. Because of one spur of the moment action, I won't ever know peace, unless by some miracle, I could make Severus mine.

"Yeah, whatever." Dragging my fingers through my hair, I took a deep breath. "I'm here to do a job, nothing else, so just stay out of my way." Stepping past the other man, I headed into the main hall, moving away from the darkness that lead into the dungeons.

I had to force a smile, I was being welcomed after all. A few students applauded, though they were mostly those I had helped on the train. Of course Harry caught my eye, the boy, no, young man, a perfect blend of his parents. Watching his face made the constant ache of missing James flare. I wondered if Severus felt the same, seeing Lily's eyes day in and day out. No, I will not think of him. A pointless thought, as my mind never strayed too far from that subject.

Just one year, maybe more if Dumbledore required, but I would do no more than my job. I would teach, impart knowledge and wisdom, and nothing more. I knew it was pointless to lie to myself, but lie I did.

As the feast progressed my eyes and mind wandered. More than once I caught Severus glaring at me. My thoughts travelled back to our earlier confrontation. I probably shouldn't have cornered him like that, he didn't really need to know about my little problem. But I had been pointlessly rash and told him. I tried convincing myself it was to let off steam, and it had made me feel better, but I knew it was because I wanted him to return my feelings. Had wanted him to take me in his arms, kiss me like he used to, and repeat the act that had sealed my fate as his.

Shaking my head at my own folly, I refused my thoughts. The ones currently dancing around my head were definitely not appropriate to be having at dinner, surrounded by children.

The hard thing about avoiding someone you work with, is the fact that you can't really avoid them at all. This is made even harder again when they are the only person that can provide you with the potion that stops you from becoming a predator every month.

The icing on the proverbial cake, however, was the fact that my wolf instincts become nearly overpowering so close to the change. Being alone in a room with my unwilling mate, at a time when my self control is lacking, can be a little scary. Even Severus could sense the tension in me, fleeing the first chance he got.

Sometimes it wasn't that simple though. Severus had been playing with the brew, seeing if he could stop the transformation completely, rather than just returning me my human senses. Because of this, he'd wait until he was sure I had consumed every last drop of the potion before leaving, running a critical eye over me for any immediate reactions that may occur.

I could never speak how hard it was for me, feeling him just out of reach. If I had my way, I would have avoided him completely before the full moon, the wolf instincts wreaking havoc. Just being in the same room as Severus was difficult, heightened senses picking up his scent.

Urges had to be fought, and thoughts pushed back. Desires were left wanting, slowly building into what could only be described as pure, animal need. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this. Was I even able to trust myself alone with him?

It had only been a few months that we were working together, and I was already nearing my breaking point. Something had to be done. It was my obligation to at least warn him to stay away from me, if he truly didn't want me.

Taking a deep breath, I squashed the butterflies floating in my stomach. Raising a hand to knock, I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this. Scared, nervous, vulnerable. The war had changed me, hardened me, yet the thought of rejection could still leave me a mess.

"Enter." The word was elongated, spoken with a near arrogant drawl. Dark and alluring. Keep your head on straight Remus.

"Severus, can I talk to you?" I poked my head around, quickly taking stock of the room.

It wasn't surprising his office was dark, just like the rest of the dungeons. It was even less surprising to see the walls plastered in shelves, carrying a wide variety of potion ingredients and books.

A large desk occupied most of the room, it's surface covered in parchment. Scrolls sat in neat little piles, obviously student work being graded. A particularly long sheet lay open before him, the tiny, yet impeccably neat, handwriting told me it belonged to one Hermione Granger.

Eventually I had no choice but to examine Severus himself. His dark eyes were focused on me, something written in them I couldn't comprehend. His hair was pulled back, tied messily at the nape of his neck. Strands of black fell across his face, escaping from where they had been tucked behind his ear, too short to make it to the ponytail.

"Is it important?" His gaze shifted back to the work before him, declaring me insignificant. "Full moon isn't for another two weeks. And I do believe it was you who said, what was it? Ah yes, 'I'm here to do a job, nothing else, so just stay out of my way'." He leveled a dark look at me, betraying more than he meant to. I saw the pain flash in his eyes.

"Severus, please." I stepped forward, though I couldn't name why. What was I going to do, try and hold him? He'd curse me before my fingers could even touch him.

"What Lupin?" His harsh tone cause me to flinch. "What could you possibly want now?"

"I just-" He cut me off.

"Just what?" Severus stood, knocking his chair back in his sharp movement. "Just want to give me that wide-eyed stare? Make the knife twist deeper? Remind me of what I can't have, remind me exactly how tainted I am?"

"Severus," I didn't understand. The situation was quickly spiraling out of my control.

"Don't say that." That dangerously soft tone, immediately after he had yelled at me, made me truly scared. "Don't say my name."

"Please," my feet moved me around the desk of their own accord. "Severus." Hands reached out, softly griping his shoulders, gently pulling him to me.

"No Lupin." He shoved, he pushed me away. "I won't let you waste yourself on me."

"What do you mean?" Couldn't he see I had no choice? I loved him, that would never change.

"Just get out."

It was the day before the full moon, and I could feel it was going to be a bad one. I had craved nothing but raw meat. My whole body was on edge, like a constant adrenaline rush. I was dreading the moment Severus would come with my potion. I had been craving him too.

A loud crack distracted me from my musings, my head jerking up. The small creature bowed, offering a still smoking potion as he did so. Taking it from the elf, I waited for him to straighten.

"Professor Lupin, sir, Professor Snape is unavailable to deliver your medicine, so he sent me, sir." The high pitched voice grated a little on my hyper sensitive ears, but I offered him a smile anyway.

"Thank you." I lifted the potion to my lips, trying desperately not to breath through my nose.

"He also said, to drink it all at once, and that it may make you faint." I drank as he spoke, finishing it before he was able to finish his warning. "He also said-" I didn't get to hear the last of his words, my world already turning black.

It was morning. There were birds singing outside, I could hear them. Something didn't feel right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to think of what was amiss.

"Ah, you're awake." The voice startled me, eyes snapping open. "It's about time." Severus continued, examining me carefully.

"What are you doing here?" Glancing around, I confirmed I was in my rooms. I was laying in my own bed.

"Did the house elf not tell you?" Confusion over took me for a moment, until memories of the day before began to slowly come back to me.

"He said I'd pass out," I couldn't help but laugh weakly. "Then I passed out. I hope I didn't scare the poor thing." Severus made a small noise, telling me he had heard my words. His eyes searched my form, as though trying to deduce something.

"How do you feel?" A strange question, but I assumed he had been playing with the potion again and wished to know it's effects. "Any pain?"

"No." Amazingly, my body felt fine. The usual post transformation pain was lacking. No bones felt like they were carefully glued together dust. No muscles felt too small. My whole body actually felt, good. "It's like I didn't transform at all."

"That's because, you didn't." Severus smirked, clearly quite proud of himself. "I wasn't sure if it would work, but I had my theories. I tweaked the potion enough that it would stop the transformation process completely. The wolf gene is suppressed, so that the full moon has no effect what so ever." That explained the odd feeling, the moon's pull was missing.

For the first time since I had been bitten, I didn't feel the pressure at the back of my mind. I didn't smell with a wolves nose, I didn't hear with a wolves ears. I felt human, and it scared me.

"The change can become permanent, if you keep taking the potion." He didn't notice my change in mood. "You could be free of it. Free of me."

"Is that why you did this?" I snapped, turning to him with anger in my eyes. "You did this to get rid of me?"

"I thought, you said, you didn't want to be-"

"Didn't want to be what? Tied to you? Mated to you?" A growl rose in my throat, proving I didn't need the wolf inside to vent my anger. Sitting up, I let the blanket I hadn't noticed fall from me. "You think I chased you, tried to talk to you, because I was simply succumbing to my instincts?"

I swung my legs off the bed, rising steadily to my feet. I didn't realise I was naked, and I couldn't say I cared. Severus eyed me warily, looking for any clue to my next move.

"I chose you, as my mate." Memories rose up, washing over me. The feel of Severus below me. The feel of Severus inside of me. "I gave myself to you, freely. I did that because I loved you."

"And now? Do you still love me?" A sadness overcame Severus, tinging his voice with a subtle pain. "Because if you do, you really shouldn't."

"What right do you have to say that?" He flinched back, which only annoyed me more. "What? You're not right for me? I've loved you for longer than I'd care to admit. You're not good enough for me? You risked your life for a man you hated, and don't you dare say it was only for Lily, because you knew James would always share the same fate as her. Saving Lily meant saving James, and you knew it."

"You don't know me, don't know what I've done." He was backing away now, a movement I subconsciously followed.

"Then tell me." Before he could take another step, I pounced. Pushing him the last few steps to the wall. I pinned him there. "After all you've put me through, I think I deserve it."

"I can't." He turned his face from me, stubbornly staring at the floor.

"No, you will." The potion was wearing off, I could feel it. That little bundle of instincts I had had grown accustomed to over the years was back, and it was only fueling my fire.

Taking his shoulders in my hands, I effectively threw Severus across the room. Darting after him, I pushed him down onto the bed, quickly sliding my body over his. He was trapped beneath me. Memories stirred again, of another time we had been in this position, but I wouldn't let them distract me.

"Remus," the way he gasped out my name belied the fear I knew he was feeling. It sounded far too sensual for the situation. "Please don't make me do this. Please don't make me tell you."

"Why?" I snarled. "So you can just get up and leave? So you can break my heart all over again?

"We made love Severus, we made love and then you threw me out." I shook my head. "Maybe I was wrong, maybe we didn't make love. Maybe I was just a fuck to you."

"No, never." My eyes demanded more, demanded the explanation I needed. "It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it?"

"I just, I didn't deserve to be your first." A shaking hand reached up, brushing the side of my face. Despite my frustration, I couldn't help but lean into that touch. "You were always so innocent, always so pure, and I took that from you.

"I've done terrible things. I've killed, I've tortured, all for the Dark Lord. He used whatever he had to, to break us." Severus took a deep breath, eyes glistening with the beginnings of unshed tears. "It wasn't just physical torture. He'd find your deepest fear, and exploit it. He would order us to torture one another, to solidify hierarchy and to ensure our continued obedience. And then, when you finally proved your worth, finally became good enough to be called 'Death Eater', you were initiated.

"The ceremony itself was fairly quick. An oath of allegiance, the dark mark burned into your skin, and it was done. It was the unofficial after party that truly sealed your fate." He raised his eyes, his gaze trapping me for a moment. It was a challenge, he was telling me I had wanted to hear this, and once said, I couldn't turn back from it. "First, the Dark Lord would visit you, and ask you to swear your life to him, as though you hadn't given your soul only a few hours before. He'd then request your body, and you'd have no choice but to agree. Then the room would fill with Death Eaters, always at least five, and the real torture would begin.

"One by one, the new initiate would be taken. Needless to say Death Eaters aren't exactly gentle, and each would leave their own personal mark. Some would scratch, others would bite. But each would do something, marking the skin as they tarnished the soul." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "I had the honour of being initiated just after a meeting. Some Death Eaters go out of their way to be a part of the process, they enjoy shattering the new meat.

"I bled for days, and I wasn't allowed magical care. Once the deed was done, I started my work straight away, no time to rest and no time to heal." I wanted to hold him, but I knew I couldn't, not yet. "I swore to myself I'd never do the same to another person. I promised myself I wouldn't corrupt the way I had been corrupted. I wouldn't steal what I had stolen from me."

"You stole nothing from me." I understood now. He thought he had taken something important from me, he thought he had destroyed something sacred. "I gave myself to you."

"Why are you so determined to ignore my faults?" Tears were flowing down his face now. All I saw was a broken man before me.

There were no words I could utter to heal him, nothing I could say to ease his pain. Leaning down slowly, I kissed away his tears, tasting their salty tang. My lips started at his cheeks, cleaning them of sorrow. I placed gentle kisses on each of his eyes, then the centre of his forehead.

Trailing kisses down his jaw, I waited for any sign of rejection, any word that he wanted me to stop. Hovering above him, I awaited the answer to my silent question.

"Why do you want this?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Severus," not being able to resist any longer, I placed a small kiss on his lips. "I love you, what more reason do I need?"

"I love you too." That was all I needed.

This time he met my lips half way, his body burning with the same need as my own. His fingers wove their way into my hair, pulling my head back to expose my neck. Lips traveled over my skin easily, consuming my soul as they went.

The world titled, and he was above me, hands pressed into my chest to steady himself. Peering up at those beautifully dark eyes, I felt my whole body melt. I was giving myself to him, and he was taking me. Severus was taking me, and loving me.

Our bodies moved as one, falling into a rhythm that set our nerves on fire. Nothing mattered except the form above me, claiming me completely. I wanted to prolong this moment, but I couldn't hold back anymore.

"Severus." I whispered in his ear, unable to find the strength to increase my volume.

"Remus." His pitch more than made up for my own quiet call, the yell coming out hoarse as he fell on top of me.

"Never leave me again." My hands moved of their own accord, one gripping his hip as the other clasped the back of his neck. "Never."

"Never." He agreed.

I wasn't surprised Harry was angry. I wasn't even surprised I had had to quit my job. Parents wouldn't want a werewolf teaching their children. So when the young man demanded I stay, I could only chuckle.

"Remus," Harry and I both looked up, our expressions vastly different. Harry eyed Severus with extreme distrust, even as I smiled gently at the dark eyed man. "May I talk to you?"

"Of course Severus." I turned to Harry, silently asking him to leave. For a long moment I thought he would refuse, but even he wouldn't stand in the way of the Potions Master.

"I'm so sorry Remus." Severus spoke as soon as Harry had left the room. "I did it out of spite. I was heart broken and selfish and wrong." Again, I chuckled.

"It's quite alright Severus." I moved forward to kiss him, but he backed away. I hate it when he gets like this. Sighing silently to myself, I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm going to assume you want me to be angry at you, because you cost me my job." He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand to stop him. "But you should know, that's not going to happen. I'm fine Severus. I'll just find a muggle job for a while."

"But they pay so little." Severus looked truly horrified at the prospect. "You need to live."

"I'm sure I can manage to survive. I have friends who will be willing to put up with me for a while."

"No."

"What?"

"I said, no." Severus looked determined. "You'll come live with me."

"Severus, I don't know if our relationship is ready for that." Honestly, the thought of living with the man was thrilling.

"Remus, you said so yourself, werewolves mate for life." He smiled softly, pulling me into his arms. "If I'm stuck with you for life, I may as well start enjoying it."

"Are you sure?" I murmured into his neck, feeling any resistance draining from my body.

"Of course. Besides," I heard, more than saw the wicked grin that stretched across his face. "we can share our love in every room, on every surface." His chuckle rumbled through his chest, vibrating through to my heart. I could feel his arousal at the thought, my own body reacting to the possibilities.

"Maybe, we can say goodbye to my office, together?" I gave him, what I hoped to be, a seductive look. Apparently it was, because I was very suddenly sitting on what was once my desk.

While our relationship would never be perfect, it would be exactly what we needed. There would be pain, there would be fighting, and there would be years hadn't been kind to us, and we had changed drastically from the teenagers we had once been, though one thing was always constant. We were exactly what the other needed.

A/N: I'm actually a little sad this is over. This took much of my effort, as I didn't sleep well at all until I got the idea out. Hopefully it has been enjoyed, and I can get a good nights sleep before the next idea comes knocking around my mind.