Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Qui-Gon doesn't own Harry Potter and Gandalf, and I don't own Qui-Gon. Which means I don't own them, either. If I did, though, I would trade them for a certain Jedi… not Qui-Gon, not Yoda, and not Mace either (I never know what to think of Mace, whether he is totally awesome or just the biggest walking joke…)

oOo

Qui-Gon slowly shook his head. "I'll better take Jar Jar with me when I go into town. He is an apt swimmer."

Obi-Wan was not exactly thrilled to hear that they would take the Gungan with them. What surprised him even more, though, was Qui-Gon's seemingly random assessment of Jar Jar.

"An apt swimmer? I rather think he will be very uncomfortable in this heat, being amphibian. I don't know if it's healthy for him to go out into the desert. Why do you want him to come along with us?" Obi-Wan asked. And what does swimming have to do with it? He wondered.

"First of all, Padawan, you will stay here with the Queen and her handmaidens. Someone has to protect them when I'm gone. And secondly, I think that Jar Jar is perfectly suited to come along when we swim to the nearest space port," Qui-Gon patiently explained.

"Master, this is a desert planet. There's not more than a single drop of water on it. There's just tons of sand, like a huge beach without an ocean. How do you want to swim here?" Obi-Wan asked, completely confused by his Master's insistence that they would swim.

Qui-Gon gave him an indulgent smile. "You still have much to learn, my young Padawan. Of course there is an ocean out there."

Blinking a few times, the Padawan tried very hard to see the ocean Qui-Gon insisted was right before their eyes. He couldn't see anything but sand, sand and some more sand, though.

Seeing his apprentice's confusion, Qui-Gon explained: "It all depends on your point of view. Remember, your focus determines your reality. There is an ocean out there; you just can't see it because you look at it from the wrong point of view. Do you remember our mission to that planet with the extremely salty sea? The water there contains an unusually high concentration of salt."

Obi-Wan nodded. It had been fun floating almost weightlessly in the water, even though the taste of salt hadn't gone away for the whole mission.

"Well, it's the same thing here. Only that the water here doesn't contain high concentrations of salt but rather of sand. So you see, Tatooine is in fact not a desert planet at all." Then, after a short pause, he added for good measure: "There's always a bigger fish!"

The pilot steering the space cruiser gave Qui-Gon a pitying look. Clearly, this Jedi was nuts.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, was already used to such lectures from his Master, though Qui-Gon never failed to amaze his student with the strange things he sometimes came up with.

If you saw it the way Qui-Gon did, there was actually a minimal amount of ocean that contained a maximum amount of sand.

Though for normal people, this is the exact definition of a desert, Obi-Wan thought. But then again, Qui-Gon was anything but normal.

But then, Obi-Wan realized the other thing his Master had told him earlier. Qui-Gon intended to make him stay with the Queen and her handmaidens.

"Master, is it really necessary that I stay behind? What if you encounter some dark, menacing creature, like a Sith? I know that they are supposed to have vanished from the Known Galaxy about a thousand years ago, but what if they chose to return right now? Master, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Yes, so you have said. More than once, I might add. Still, I haven't seen any "Phantom Menace" yet. And if I remember rightly, I already told you not to centre on your anxieties and to keep your focus on the here and now, where it belongs. And don't you think that it is just a tiny bit exaggerated to resurrect the arch enemies of the Jedi just so you can come along? Don't be childish, Padawan. It would be much better if you took a look at our hyperdrive instead of whining to me." And with that, Qui-Gon shooed him out of the cockpit.

Obi-Wan took of towards the engine room. He was not happy with his Master's decision to go with just Jar Jar and Artoo for company. When left alone, Qui-Gon was prone to slightly losing his grip on reality and start seeing "Chosen Ones" everywhere. That in and of itself wouldn't be such a problem if he didn't always want to keep them.

Obi-Wan could still remember all too well the last time his Master had picked up one of these pathetic life forms that he claimed would bring 'Balance to the Force', whatever that may mean. They had been on a peacekeeping mission to a small, relatively primitive planet that was on the outer edges of the Known Galaxy. A small slightly Force-sensitive part of the population – they called themselves wizards and witches - was at war with what could be described as the Dark Side fraction of their kind.

To make it short, the mission had been a disaster. Nobody had taken the Jedi seriously because of some obscure movie they had on their local holonet, and they had no success at all with any of the two warring parties. They had managed to get the two leaders of the opposing parties together, but before anything had been agreed upon, the pale, snake-like so-called "Dark Lord" had attacked the old and already slightly senile representative of the wizarding world – who had the most impressive beard Obi-Wan had ever seen, by the way.

In all the ensuing chaos, Qui-Gon had taken hold of some poor teen who was wearing round glasses, had a strange scar on his forehead and black hair sticking out from his head in all directions, claiming that this was "the Chosen One". Ignoring the kid's confused protest, he decided that Harry – that had been his name, Obi-Wan remembered now – was to be taken to Coruscant to be trained as a Jedi – no matter that the youth had serious anger issues on top of all his other problems!

But the white-haired wizard in his colourful bathrobes didn't want to relinquish his "Chosen One", so he had a fierce shouting match with the Jedi Master. It took all of Obi-Wan's patience and diplomatic skills to get them to calm down and to convince his Master that this "Chosen One" belonged to this world and to the eccentric old wizard who was apparently the headmaster of the school the boy was attending.

Qui-Gon reluctantly left Harry behind on his home planet, seeing that the boy already had an old and slightly off-the-rocker mentor and didn't need another one, though he left his visiting card just in case Harry lost his current crazy teacher and needed a new one.

Something along these lines had also happened when they accidentally crash-landed on an even more primitive planet called Middle Earth where Qui-Gon had tried to kidnap an important member of some secret mission to destroy a gold ring in the most complicated way imaginable. Fortunately for Obi-Wan, the wizard they met this time who evidently wanted to keep the small humanoid was a lot more level-headed and capable than the one before, so they were able to sort it all out without shouting at each other until everyone's throat was raw.

Unfortunately, Qui-Gon had then decided to take the wizard back with them. As he didn't have any intentions of coming along, either, Obi-Wan had to take some drastic measures. He had contacted Masters Yoda and Windu who had subsequently come to pick them up and reason with Qui-Gon, who was sulking by then because his Padawan "never lets me keep any of the Chosen Ones I find!"

Obi-Wan sighed. He just hoped that Qui-Gon would not pick up another Chosen One this time. He had done it numerous times already – bringing them along when his Padawan couldn't convince him to leave them where they found them – and they inevitably ended up in Obi-Wan's care when his Master lost interest in them. Most of the time, the Padawan could then simply send any Chosen Ones back home. They were usually quite grateful because after the first few and exciting days, most of them didn't actually want to be a Jedi – or even had the potential for it.

Taking a look at Tatooine, though, Obi-Wan had to admit that nobody would voluntarily return to their life on this oversized grain of sand.

Then again, maybe I should be grateful that Jar Jar doesn't seem to qualify as another Chosen One, Obi-Wan thought, slightly relieved.

With a last worried thought of his Master, Obi-Wan assessed the damage to the hyperdrive. It was completely ruined. There was nothing anyone could do to get that piece of junk running again.

At that moment, Qui-Gon entered, putting on an old, much worn poncho so that he could pass as a local farmer. His Jedi robes would give him away in seconds.

"The hyperdrive generator is gone, Master. We'll need a new one," Obi-Wan informed him.

"That'll complicate things," Qui-Gon sighed. "Be wary. I sense a disturbance in the Force," Qui-Gon warned.

Yes, that's the bad feeling you've been ignoring so far! But Obi-Wan settled for saying: "I feel it also, Master."

"Don't let them send any transmissions. Aside from the fact that the Trade Federation might find us, this far out from the centre of the Galaxy the transmission fees would probably empty their whole treasury with just one call."

Obi-Wan nodded. Before he could say anything else, though, his Master left. Artoo and Jar Jar were already waiting for the Jedi Master, and as soon as he arrived, they set out towards the nearest town.

I just hope he uses his common sense… and remembers to exchange his Republic money for the local currency instead of betting on completely unrealistic odds. Though I have to admit that he does usually succeed in what he does, somehow. Obi-Wan thought, a worried frown on his face. And I fervently hope that he doesn't pick up any additional pathetic life forms…

Qui-Gon and Jar Jar were walking through the desert… excuse me, swimming through the ocean… towards Mos Espa, followed by Artoo.

"The sun doen murder to mesa skin!" Jar Jar whined.

Qui-Gon ignored him, his thoughts elsewhere. He secretly admitted that he would have expected a tiny bit more water in an ocean. Maybe I should listen to Obi-Wan more often… he thought.

Just when they thought they were a safe distance from the ship and wouldn't be bothered with any additional requests by the Queen – like bringing her some local makeup or something – Captain Panaka shouted after them: "Wait!"

Qui-Gon turned around reluctantly to see the head of security and one of the handmaidens dressed in the least fancy clothes that were on board of the ship trudging after them.

As the head of security, Panaka had not been ecstatic to learn that Queen Amidala absolutely insisted on going with the Jedi.

Padmé, on the other hand, was really glad that she could order Panaka to make the Jedi take her along. Although she didn't look forward to spending the next day or so in a primitive desert town instead of her comfortable ship, she was envied by all her handmaidens. They would all have gladly come along even though it meant having to walk through the sandy waste with the sun beating down because it meant getting to spend some time with that elusive Jedi Padawan.

So Padmé was smiling to herself, considering herself extremely lucky. That is until they caught up with the Jedi Master enough for her to realize that it was not Obi-Wan but Jar Jar who accompanied Qui-Gon. But it was already too late; she couldn't back out of this anymore after she had told Panaka some ridiculous story about wanting to get to know the planet and trying to keep the Jedi Master from doing anything unreasonable. The second argument had finally convinced the Captain to let her go along, and now he was already talking to Qui-Gon.

"Her Highness commands you to take her handmaiden with you."

Realizing that her plan had backfired spectacularly, Padmé frowned at him.

Panaka was just glad that she wasn't dressed as the Queen right now, because he could see that she was really displeased and would probably start beheading people in another five minutes. Teenagers and their mood swings! He thought exasperatedly. Just two minutes ago, she would have beheaded me if I had NOT let her go…

But Qui-Gon didn't really want to take a love-stuck teenager with him, especially if he didn't have Obi-Wan to occupy them. He was sure that the young woman would constantly interrogate him about his Padawan.

Damn, why did I take the good-looking one? Qui-Gon lamented for the umpteenth time. But then again, Obi-Wan's looks have also proven quite useful a few times already…

"The spaceport is not going to be pleasant," he warned the handmaiden.

"The Queen wishes it," Captain Panaka insisted. "She's curious about the planet."

Qui-Gon frowned, hesitating. "This is not a good idea. Stay close to me," he said.

The corners of the handmaiden's lips dropped even further. You are not the one I wanted to hear that from! she thought disgruntled. But it seemed she had dug her own grave, and now she had to follow the Jedi Master into town, and the handmaidens got the Padawan.

Grudgingly, she ambled after Qui-Gon and Jar Jar.

It took all of tree minutes for her curiosity to overcome her irritation, and she started assailing the Jedi Master with questions.

"Wow, I get not only one but two real Jedi! Uhm, I mean, the Queen does, of course. So Obi-Wan is your apprentice? What's he like?"

Somehow, Qui-Gon had known just who would be the main subject of their conversation… which was not exactly a topic he felt the need to discuss with this nosy girl.

So the only answer Padmé received was an unenthusiastic shrug: "He's all right, I guess."

After a few failed attempts to get Qui-Gon to talk about his Padawan, Padmé started asking more general questions.

"So how was your trip to Naboo?"

To her eternal surprise, Qui-Gon willingly launched into a long explanation.

"The first part was rather boring, we had nothing to do but meditate because these stupid Republic ships they assign to ambassadors don't have on-board entertainment. But once we arrived on the Trade Federation's space station, it was a lot more fun. They actually tried to kill us with perfume, can you believe that? Then we stowed away on the transports headed for the planet surface, but instead of landing near Theed, we ended up somewhere in the swamps. There, I picked up Jar Jar – much to Obi-Wan's chagrin, I would think. Jar Jar led us into Gunga City, where I, ah, convinced their leader to help us. He gave us a Bongo to get to Theed through the planet core. Naturally, there were a few bigger fishes, but that was to be expected, wasn't it? Eventually, we arrived in Theed, where we finally rescued you and your Queen. You already know the rest of the story."

Although Padmé was slightly confused – she had no idea what the part about bigger fishes had been about – she was also deeply impressed. Her already growing respect for the Jedi went up a notch as she tried to imagine how two humans and a Gungan had managed to get through the planet core – lava and all – in a small ceremonial drum. Padmé had read a bit about the Gungans and in one of the books, there had been a picture of a Bongo drum, the traditional Gungan instrument used for… well, obviously for making music.

They spent the rest of the way into town talking amiably. Padmé wouldn't have thought that the Jedi was such a chatterbox. He told her just about everything she asked of him, and only grew silent when the conversation turned to his Padawan. Obviously, he didn't want to feed her growing interest in the young man – which made Obi-Wan seem all the more enigmatic and, therefore, all the more interesting. But aside from that, Qui-Gon was open and talkative.

When they finally arrived in Mos Espa, Qui-Gon was in the middle of telling Padmé about Tatooine – at least what is apprentice had told him about the planet after looking it up on the holonet.

"Moisture farmers, for the most part. Some indigenous tribes and scavengers. The few spaceports like this one are havens for those that don't wish to be found," he explained.

I wonder if any Chosen Ones live around here? He thought.

"Like us," Padmé added.

What, we are Chosen Ones, too? Qui-Gon wondered. But the he realized that Padmé could not hear his thoughts and was most likely referring to them not wanting to be found.

"Dissen berry, berry bad," Jar Jar remarked. He felt highly uncomfortable around all the sinister people populating this spaceport.

But neither Padmé nor Qui-Gon were listening to him. In fact, the Jedi Master was whispering in Padmé's ear: "Look, Jar Jar's about to step in a dung heap. You don't want to miss that. It's the reason why I brought him along."

And just as Jar Jar indeed placed his left foot into the droppings lying in the middle of the street, they erupted into silly giggles. With an amused sparkle in their eyes, they were both watching the hapless Gungan trying to get rid of the muck.

"Oh, icky, icky goo!" he shouted, hopping on one foot and generally looking dumb and awkward.

When they arrived at some kind of market place, Qui-Gon suddenly stopped and looked around. Picking one of the houses surrounding them at random – the dwellings looked all the same and didn't even have any markings identifying them as shops – he nodded towards it.

"We'll try one of the smaller dealers," he firmly decided.

Nearing the little shop for all kinds of junk imaginable, they didn't know that all their lives were about to get a lot more complicated – well, except maybe for Qui-Gon's, which will only grow shorter as the story continues…

oOo

Edited on 30th December, 2010