Hello! I managed to write a lot today. Yay! So, here's another Eric's POV. I hope that it's character-like. Anyway, I must thank Charhamblin for her wonderful help betaing this story. The mistakes, though, are all mine. The characters, unfortunately, are not. Espero que gostem do capítulo, (that's "I hope you'll enjoy the chapter" in Portuguese) and please don't forget to review. Célia

Eric "Dyin' Ain't Much of a Livin"

Ocella had had, obviously, an ulterior motive for his visit: he wanted to get free from his fucking child. But when he saw Pam, he decided that besides leaving Alexei with me, he'd take her with him. And that pissed me off. That truly pissed me off. Pam was my child, she had been my choice and it had been me to turn her and then teach her everything she knew. But because he had made me, he thought that he was entitled to everything that was mine. But he wouldn't take my child, and he would not taste my wife. Yes, Ocella was my maker and he was much stronger, but I was more cunning and intelligent than him, and I would not let him have what was mine, nor my child, nor my wife, nor my bars, nor my position in Louisiana.

Getting Pam free from him was somewhat easy because, luckily, he believed my lie and let her go to Europe. Getting Sookie free, on the other hand, was proving to be something much harder, but so far, I had managed it – I had downplayed her taste and her importance in my life, and his intention to sample her had somehow reduced too; though he still wanted to drink her.

And then there was Ocella's interest in my bars and my Sheriff position. He had too much interest in everything, and he had too many questions about it. But I didn't think that he wanted to take it away from me. No. He just wanted me to fail at it. He wanted my bars to make me lose money, instead of earning it. And he wanted me to lose my importance and my power in the Louisianan Vampire hierarchy.

But I was a good Sheriff and a good businessman, and I would not fail.

Besides, Pam had taught them well. And she had also given them good instructions because Clancy, Dahlia, Felicia and Maxwell had been dealing with the bars without major problems. In addition, Area 5 was, as always, problem-free. And none of the other Louisiana Areas had major problems that couldn't be dealt with later, either. Filipe had received his monthly share of money from us and was still ignorant about what had been happening in Shreveport.

And what had been happening there?

In a more personal aspect, I had been drinking humans almost every day and I was feeling remorseful about it because I knew that Sookie would not like it. But Ocella wouldn't accept my restricted diet, so I kept drinking them nightly, even though I did not even need so much blood. On the positive side, I hadn't yet been forced by my maker to have sex with anyone (not him, or Alexei and not even my meals), so I had managed to stay cheater-free.

In a more Sheriff-aspect, three humans had almost been killed by my younger fucking brother. And he had gone without a punishment, which was against our Laws. And I should have disciplined him, as a local authority. Or, even more than that, I should have reported him to even higher authorities. But each time it had happened, Ocella said that "almost kill" wasn't a real problem. He only believed in punishing Alexei whenever he actually did kill someone. And so, the kid was still unpunished.

Ocella and I had been arguing a lot over the last two weeks. Well, not really arguing… because I truly couldn't really argue with my maker. But after more than a thousand years, Ocella allowed me my opinion and I had been stating it frequently. And it was my opinion that Alexei should meet his final death. He was a pest. He should be simply terminated. But Ocella didn't agree, obviously.

And now Alexei had over-done yet again. He had almost killed (it was the fourth time in two weeks) the red-haired girl that was to be his dinner. Only Ocella's words for him to stop drinking and hurting the girl prevented that (and even after Ocella's words he had kept trying to overcome his compulsion to obey his maker). And the worst part was that the girl wasn't even glamoured, so she was just kept conscious and screaming in pain during her whole ordeal.

So, there it was. Another Alexei's mess for me to deal with. Yes, I could just call some vampire in my Area and have him or her do it for me. But this was a personal thing. Almost a family issue, not an Area 5 problem. Besides, Alexei should really be brought to justice and face trial for his many deeds. But Ocella didn't want it – he kept repeating that Alexei was his child and he would be the only one punishing him. And I was afraid to bring someone else to clean this mess, because then Alexei's actions would be known. And so, I found myself, yet again, dealing with my maker's recent error: his younger child's mistakes.

As soon as Alexei dropped the girl, I grabbed her, I glamoured her to keep her calm and quiet, and then I proceeded to clean and heal her neck injury – I wouldn't use my blood for her, obviously, but luckily her cut didn't look like a bite wound at all. I used my saliva and also some povidone-iodine topical antiseptics on her neck. After that, I gave her some water to rehydrate her as well as some kind of cookies or biscuits (or whatever those were) to contradict her blood loss. And soon, she was feeling better.

I glamoured her friends as well, and a few minutes later, I left Ocella's rented house (where he had been staying for the last four days after the hotel's manager had asked him to leave Moviflor Inn because of the constant flow of glamoured donors in Ocella's bedroom) and I drove the girl and her two friends to a close-by bar. I made sure that they only recollected drinking lots of alcohol and then a fun, even though somewhat rough, night out with a group of bikers and nothing else.

Driving them there, glamouring them and then drive back took me… well, maybe 40 or 45 minutes. At the most! But it was all that it took. Even less than an hour.

As soon as I parked in Ocella's garage, I knew immediately that someone had died. I entered the house by the kitchen door and I saw bloodstains everywhere (some of them still wet, some of them dripped). And the smell was incredibly intense. I could tell for sure, that there were two humans dead there. But I could also smell someone else's blood… A vampire's blood. It was my maker's. Ocella!

I immediately entered the living room and even though I could see in the dark, my hand went out to the wall switch. I flicked it down, flooding the room with light. I looked around and saw two human bodies. They looked like a couple in their thirties, but I couldn't be sure because they were drenched in blood. Who where those people? How the hell had they entered the house and been killed in even less than an hour? What the fuck had happened there?

I walked towards the middle of the room and that was when I saw him. Ocella. On the floor. He was bleeding from four silver bullets shots in his back. His wounds were trying to expel the silver, but he wasn't yet being successful in that. Instead, the four wounds were just left open and I could see my maker's skin silver-burning. And he was not alone. Alexei was also there. And, clichés apart, he was actually holding a smoking gun. The fucking kid had probably killed the humans and I'd have to be the one dealing with its consequences later on. And then, he had shot Ocella. I was mad in rage and I ran to him, all my hatred towards Ocella temporarily and quickly forgotten somehow. I was going to kill Alexei in two seconds. No, even less than that. I was going to disembody his arms and legs and then cut off his head from his body with my own hands in one second. But then… I didn't.

And, suddenly, I knew why: in one of our talks when I had been trying to convince my maker to finally kill his youngest child, Ocella had told me that the decision was his and that I couldn't hurt or kill my brother. And he actually said it as an order, as a maker's command. And Ocella's authority was still in effect.

And so I knew that I wouldn't be able to do anything to Alexei – not even a little slap nor just push him towards a wall. A master's order is to be obeyed always until it's told otherwise. Even if it is against the maker's well-being. So Alexei would, for now, be left unpunished. But as soon as Ocella would undo his command, then I'd be patient while hurting the little motherfucker. Yes, I'd take my time instead of killing him in just one second. He would be in pain for several nights until I'd give him the blessing of allowing him his final death.

But even if I couldn't get the world free from that little fucking bastard yet, I could at least heal Ocella. Not that we were that close… And Ocella's recent suggestions that he wanted to take Pam away with him and also that he wanted to taste Sookie had really bothered me. Or rather, his non-stop babbling about wanting to have my child with him and sample my wife had really troubled me. But he was my maker. He had been there for me for over a millennium. And he had given me eternal-life. And I somehow felt compelled to help him.

And so, I dropped to my knees next to his body. I turned him on his back and I was about to break the skin in my wrist to give him my blood, when Alexei shot me in the back too. I felt a huge pain in my upper back, and then a couple more in my lower back. The shooting pain travelled through my body and I felt my insides burning because of the silver. I should have taken the fucking gun from him before but I hadn't even thought about it. The whole thing had been so quick. It had only passed one or two minutes since I had parked, then entered the kitchen, then into the living room, where I saw first the dead humans, then Ocella, and finally Alexei. And my decision to help Ocella had only taken a second as well. All this happened in less than two minutes… I just… I hadn't even thought about taking the gun from him…

And then I felt another bullet hit my backside. This forth bullet was my perdition because then I felt the silver. And, as my maker before me, I also lay on the floor, bleeding, alongside him.

Alexei moved closer to us and stayed there just smiling at our bleeding wounds for a couple of minutes. I could feel the blood dripping over me, and making my drenched shirt glue to my skin. And I was also feeling the silver in me, preventing my healing, when I saw Alexei use a needle on Ocella and then on me. And fuuuck! It was liquid silver or some sort of silver nitrate. It fucking hurt. It burnt my insides. I stayed there in pain until I finally heard the motherfucker leaving while talking on the phone.

Now, here's something we don't want the public to know: vampires can recover from silver bullets and shots of liquid silver. But we prefer that that detail isn't common knowledge because it hurts like a motherfucker. However the main reason why we want to keep it a secret is that it keeps humans calmer. Why? Because humans feel safer knowing that they can (in theory) kill us with just a silver bullet, when in reality, we can pull through it. And the thing is: if the humans feel calmer and safer, they don't see us as a threat and we are safer as well.

But there's a catch: even though we might not die from it like weres do, it's still really hard to recuperate from such a bullet, especially when the silver is still in our body and we were shot with silver nitrate too.

And that was why, almost an hour later, when the humans got there, they were able to put both me and Ocella in some kind of hospital beds and keep us there with even more silver on our hands and feet.

Being much older, and because he had had more time than I had to heal because he had been shot first, Ocella managed to escape when they were putting us in their ambulance van. But I did not.

And even though I knew that Ocella's evasion was in theory good for me because I was certain that he'd go back to get me, I wasn't sure that Ocella would even survive the night. He had lost too much blood and there was still too much silver in him and so he was very hurt and weak. And anyone would be able to get to him that way. And so, I felt I was on my own. It would be up to me to get free from those humans.

I was then moved to some kind of facility in a warehouse a little over an hour away. They kept the silver bullets inside me and also the silver handcuffs on my arms and legs. It hurt like a motherfucker. But even worse than the pain, was the smell of my own flesh burning because of all the silver they used to secure me and the bullets that were still in me.

I was left in a room, tied with silver to the wall, and they closed the door so I wouldn't see them walking around the warehouse. But I could still hear them. There were nine or ten humans there, two of them women.

And there I stayed, locked in silver while I listened to their voices discussing if they should kill me right there and then or not. They belonged to the "Fellowship of the Sun" and they knew who I was. The "bars' businessman", they called me. But eventually, they decided to kill me in two days time when some hot-shot of the Fellowship was to visit Louisiana. And then they kept talking about what clothes I would wear and whether I would meet the sun or be staked... One of them wanted to cut my arms off at my elbows to see if they'd grow back immediately or not, other was saying that they should take my eyes out because I might see their faces and then somehow send that image to other vampires and so on. In due course, they decided that I should be dressed all in black so the blood from my wounds wouldn't be easily seen and that I would meet the sun and be burnt to death but not tortured or hurt. "Y'all don't want the witnesses to think that y'all are barbaric and kept hurting him, no siree. Let's keep his wounds hidden and then just kill him at dawn, with God's mighty sun, and that's it," their apparent leader finally said.

A couple of hours later, I died for the day.

The next night, when the sun set I was exactly like the night before – same room, same wounds and same fucking silver handcuffs. I felt a little better after my day rest but because of the silver, my wounds hadn't healed yet. But even though silver was then the worst part of my life, there was a silver lining that I could see. Or rather: feel. And it was Pam. Yes, the best part of waking up that night was that I could feel that Pam was much closer. And that was good. No, that was excellent. Pam had come back to the United States even though I hadn't called her to say that she should. Thank the Gods, I hadn't commanded her to leave, but instead just suggested it to her. She had probably felt me and thought that she was needed here. And damn, she was right. And that knowledge alone gave me strength because I was sure that my child would help me. No doubt.

I stayed there for a couple more hours plotting my revenge. I was extremely angry and I knew I just needed a little break from the silver handcuffs before I could leave and kill everyone: the Fellowship guys and Alexei. As soon as the silver tying me would be off, my body would finally expel the bullets and nurse itself back to normal. And then my healing would be complete by drinking dry all those pathetic humans who had been discussing my final death. And finally, I'd deal with Alexei.

And all of a sudden, I felt Pam's anger as well. Now she knew. Now she'd help. Pam was indeed the best child I could have and I was extremely proud of her. She would get me out of there and then we'd both kill all those fuckers together.

However, as quickly as it showed up, Pam's anger left her. And then, I started to really worry when her anger was replaced by defeat and fear. Why was she afraid? Of whom? Had Pam been made a prisoner by the Fellowship of the Sun as well? She wasn't near the same compound where I was, at least, she didn't feel like she was there, but maybe she had lost some blood too and our bond wasn't working right…?

Suddenly, I was freed from my thoughts by strange noises in the warehouse. Or, more specifically, by fighting noises outside the bedroom where I was locked. And then I smelled it. Blood. Human blood. Both the noise and the smell increased and I felt him close by. It was my maker that was rescuing me. And then, soon, everything was quiet all at once.

I saw the door of my jail being opened by a glamoured human and I saw my maker behind that human. Ocella looked like shit, but he was obviously still strong enough to get me free. He told the human to open my handcuffs and offer me her blood. I drank a lot, and I was about to break her neck when Ocella prevented me from killing the woman.

"I've killed most of them already, let's leave the rest alive so they know who they were messing with," he said. I nodded and dropped the bleeding woman to the floor. She immediately tried to close the fang-wounds in her neck with her hands. Fucker! I had recognized her voice from the night before – she had tried to convince the others to cut off my tongue before they killed me so I wouldn't scream when I'd be burnt alive. My most primal instincts were screaming at me to end her, but I just left her laying on the floor while she screamed about her neck wounds.

We left that fucking room and I was able to see clearly the place where I had been kept. The warehouse unmistakably showed that a fight had taken place there, and I could see eight dead bodies and a two injured humans.

Suddenly, I felt a burning pain in my back. Several burning pains in my back. But those were good. Yes, I was feeling much better. I was feeling much stronger because the woman's blood had finally given me the necessary sustenance for my body to force out the silver bullets. And that had been the reason for those burning pains in my back. My body was expelling the silver from its inside, and even though I felt the pain, I knew that as soon as the bullets would leave my back, then I'd recover. Yes, I was indeed feeling much stronger. And so was my anger. I wanted to kill everyone that was still alive there. Kill them all!

But Ocella kept his "no killing anyone else" policy and so we left them highly glamoured (so they wouldn't follow us soon nor remember what vampires had been there) but alive.

"Pam's back", I told Ocella when we were entering his car, "but there's a problem. I can tell. Did you hear something in the warehouse about another vampire prisoner when you arrived? She might have been caught by the Fellowship as well."

"No. It wasn't the humans that got Pamela."

"Then who?"

"It's Alexei."

"I'm sure that she is stronger than him." And I really was. I knew that Pam could snap his neck in a couple of minutes.

"But she can't kill or even fight him because of my command to you."

Fuck. He was right. I hadn't thought about it but that was the truth. Because I was under Ocella's order, Pam (who had to obey to me) was under my maker's control too. It was a sort of a safety measure so children who hated their makers wouldn't make children themselves and order them to kill their makers – then the maker only had to give a "don't kill me" command to his children and then the children's children would automatically be bonded to obey too.

Fucking Ocella and his "I'm so much stronger than you" ideas… He hadn't ever told me to not kill him because he had always been so sure that I would never succeed in doing it. Not even when he knew that I hated him with all my strength. And I guessed that he hadn't given that command to Alexei either… Fuck!

We had to find the fucker and make him pay. He could be anywhere now, killing humans at random... "So unleash your command Ocella. Alexei is a threat. To humans, to me, to you. We must find him and kill him. I know he is yours, but you must recognize how dangerous he is to everyone. He must be killed."

And then, finally, he said the words: "You are right my child. As painful as it is, we must kill him. I rescind my command. You are free to fight and kill Alexei."

"And is Pam as well?"

"Yes. Her inability to hurt him only existed because you couldn't hurt him either. But she doesn't know that now. She has tried before and she wasn't able to fight him."

"She'll keep trying. I know she will." I was driving as fast as possible and at that speed we would be back to Shreveport in 20 minutes or so, rather than the over one hour that had taken the humans to drive me to warehouse. "Where are they? Can you tell for sure?" I asked. Even though I had drunk a lot of blood, I was still kind of recovering from the silver and I knew that Ocella would feel Alexei much better than I would feel Pam.

"In your house," the car couldn't run faster but I tried to increase its velocity either way, "with your wife," he added. And, for the first time in a week I didn't hear contempt or disdain when he called Sookie my wife. There was just sadness in his voice. Ocella was already mourning Alexei.

I, on the other hand, was fuelled with anger and bloodlust. Leaving the Fellowship of the Sun people alive was something against my nature, against my most basic instincts. I really thought they should die because of what they had attempted to do to me and the pain they had made me go through during my night of captivity. They had kept me bleeding and silver-burning for over 24 hours and they were planning my death already. Yes, I really felt that I was entitled to my revenge. But Ocella had made me leave them alive. Well, Alexei wouldn't be that lucky. And if he had touched a single one of Sookie's hair… Well, if he had, then he would die screaming and hurting like the motherfucker he was. I wouldn't allow him a quick death unless Sookie and Pam were unharmed.

As soon as I parked the car, I ran to my house and up the stairs. I entered my bedroom and saw that Alexei was already dead next to the bathroom door and Pam was sitting on the bed hugging a crying and in-shock Sookie, whose clothes were blooded.

"What happened? What happened? Are you okay?" I asked straight away.

I was really nervous then. And anxious to see if Sookie was all right. She was covered in blood, but I smelled it and I recognized that it was Alexei's blood. And there was a stake next to her. I grabbed Sookie's arms and made her stand on her feet while I checked her body. There were fang marks in her neck but that was it. My presence made her stop crying and she immediately hugged me. I asked her again if she was okay and she answered that she was fine.

"She killed him Eric," Pam started saying, "I tried to but I couldn't. And then the fucker attacked me. And I couldn't even defend myself. Alexei almost killed me because I couldn't fight back. But because he was focused on hurting me, Sookie was able to stake him."

I hugged Sookie even closer to me. My anger had left me by then, substituted by some kind of thankful feeling. I was thankful that she seemed all right and that she had saved my child as well. And I was proud of both Pam (who had felt me in London and came back when she had to) and Sookie (who had proved once more that she was as strong as any of us).

And then I heard Ocella's scream. He had entered the bedroom that moment and saw Alexei's remains. He kneeled and cried blood tears for his child. Sookie turned around and hid her face on my chest again because she was incapable of watching such a sorrowful display.

"My son! My son! My son!" Ocella kept screaming in Russian.

Sookie didn't need to see a father crying for the son she had killed and so I turned around with her towards the door. I wanted to take her to my room in the basement, clean her and then rest with her. I wanted peace and quiet. But Ocella kept screaming "my son, my son." Until he added something else, still in Russian. He said: "An insignificant human killed you, my son."

Then, in a second, I felt hatred from Ocella. Since he had entered the bedroom and until that moment, he had been full of a deep grief and distress. But then the hatred burst inside him. And he hated Sookie. He was going to kill her. I immediately tried to shield her from my maker with my own body. I would finally die for Sookie if I had to, but I'd sure try to protect her from Ocella. And while I did it, I also felt and heard him approaching my back, so he could get to her.

And then, there was pain. Physical pain. I immediately stopped holding Sookie and doubled over at that huge pain. But it wasn't mine. I turned away and saw Ocella's body already flaking away at my feet, much more quickly than that of his younger son. And I also saw Pam who was standing there with a bloody stake in her right hand.

"He was going to kill you and Sookie. He was. I know he was," she mumbled.

I felt a huge soreness inside me. My maker's bond with me was no more. And it pained me even more than the silver that I had been shot with the previous night. I looked at Pam and for a second I thought about punishing or even killing her for giving me that huge pain and that emptiness. She had ended my maker. But instead, I just sat on the bed staring at the blood pounds that had been my maker and his son on the floor.

Okay, yes. I know that I am arrogant, quick thinking, strong willed, secretive and tricky… among other things. But then, knowing that my child had killed my sire, I just felt indecisive and hopeless. I dropped my head to my hands.

"Ocella taught me everything about being a vampire," I said quietly, "he taught me how to feed, how to hide, when it was safe to mingle with humans. He taught me how to make love with men and later freed me to make love with women. He protected me and loved me. He caused me pain for decades. He gave me life. My maker is dead," I could scarcely believe it. I didn't know how to feel. My eyes lingered on the crumbling mass of flakes that had been Appius Livius Ocella.

"Yes," Pam said, "he is. And I did it. And I'm sorry Eric. But I just knew he was going to attack you and Sookie and…"

I felt from her how sorry she was. But Pam was just sorry for me. For my pain. She still thought she had done the right thing because she loved me. I had always known how important I was to Pam. Every maker is important to his child. But in that moment I knew Pam really loved me more than herself and that she would do anything for me. Hell, she killed a vampire almost ten times her age… for me. The chances of her actually succeeding in killing Ocella had been extremely low, and I knew that she had only managed it because Ocella had been so focused on his pain and hatred that he hadn't even considered Pam's feelings or actions. And I was sure that Pam also knew how miniscule her odds had been. But she had tried it nonetheless. For me.

I got up, kissed her forehead and said: "I know. And I thank you." And it was then that I looked at her, and I saw her wounds. She had been stabbed several times. I looked at her stomach, "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm almost recovered. Thank you."

"Good. Now please deal with this mess here," she nodded and I continued talking, "and at Ocella's too. He rented Mansur's house next to the courthouse. There's a mess there too. I'm going downstairs with Sookie now."

I walked to Sookie and saw that she was still by the door next to Ocella's remains. I hoped she wasn't traumatized somehow... I put my arm around her shoulders and we went to my room in the basement.

Sookie had killed Alexei and Pam had killed Ocella. Shit! I feared Sookie's reaction to Alexei's death. She had killed him and I knew that it wasn't something she'd deal with easily. I feared my own reaction to Ocella's death. He had been my maker and even thought he had caused me much pain, he had also been my father for over a millennium. And I feared Adelaide's reaction to Ocella's death too. She was his sister, and even though she was kind and almost his opposite, they had been together for over 1200 years. I feared the next night. And my future. But above all, I feared that I wasn't myself because I was scared for all that. And up until recently, I hadn't ever been scared of anything.

As soon as we got to my basement's room, I closed the room, turned on all its seven locks and also the alarm. Without Lizzie at home, Sookie would stay there with me. Yes, not Sookie or I would be leaving there until the next night. The dawn was still several hours away, but we'd both stay there for almost 24 hours. I needed to be with Sookie. I needed to be locked in safety with Sookie. Those last 30 hours had been too scary for me. The mere thought of losing Sookie… It terrified me.

Besides, there was a bathroom in the basement floor; and there was also a phone and a TV there; as well as a small fridge with human food besides my blood if she'd wake up during the day. But I hoped that she wouldn't. I hoped that she'd sleep the whole day on my arms.

We then showered and we went to the bed. We both dressed in one of my t-shirts and we laid and hugged for a few minutes.

I was feeling calmer then. Slightly calmer. And with Sookie safe in my arms, I felt even better. Slightly better. But I was still afraid of our future. I needed assurance. And it was Sookie's job to give it to me. I didn't care about what she thought… She had to make me better. She had to. I wasn't feeling myself. I was… almost distressed or traumatized. I was still so fucking scared of the simple possibility of being away from Sookie… Yeah, it terrified me alright.

"Tell me you're mine," I whispered a few minutes after we were in bed.

She raised her head from my chest and looked me in my eyes. "What?"

"You heard me. Tell me you're mine. Tell me you'll stay with me forever."

"Eric… you know I don't have forever. But I'll stay with you for now and…"

"Cut the crap Sookie," I interrupted her, "say the words. I'm not talking about turning you. I just need to know that you belong to me."

"I do."

"Say the words."

Still looking me in the eyes, she said: "I love you. I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I am yours."

I nodded and her lips lightly brushed mine before she dropped he head on my chest again. I hugged her even closer to me and I heard her whisper: "I've been yours since that week you spent in my house in Bon Temps. I've loved you since then."

"And I love you," I answered.

We kept hugging in silence for a while and then, with her head still on my chest and without looking at me, she whispered for a second time: "But Eric, I don't have forever."

I couldn't accept it. And I silently refused to accept it by keeping my mouth shut.

When I didn't answer, she whispered again: "I don't want to be a vampire."

"You've said it before," and she had. She had said it several times over the past year. And every time she said it, it pained me. But I had thought that we'd have time. But maybe we didn't. And besides, I wanted to feel her all the time, like I felt Pam, and I wanted Sookie to be strong and less fragile, so I wouldn't ever lose her.

"It's just that… Well, I love the sun, the day… And I'm sure that I wouldn't be the same person if I was a vampire. I'd probably hate myself and you wouldn't love me either if I hated myself."

"I've heard it too."

"I really don't want to be a vampire," she repeated.

"I know," I answered. And I did know that, even though I was still hopeful that she'd change her mind eventually. I would have to make her change her mind. We were so happy together… Why wouldn't she want it to last forever?

"And I'll keep getting older."

"I know that too."

"Okay," she finally whispered.

"Okay," I told her back, whispering as well.

And those were the last words we spoke to each other that night. Then, Sookie and I just kept hugging until dawn while we heard Pam dealing with everything upstairs. And during all that time I could almost feel Sookie's brain thinking and over-thinking everything – Alexei's death, Ocella's death and maybe even her death.

But I understood her need to think about all that because, at that moment, I was wondering about the same things myself. And yet again, I felt thankful that she couldn't hear my thoughts. Why? Because I was actually thinking about the possibility of turning her. Even against her will.

I wouldn't let her be taken from me again. No one would take her away for me again. No one. Not my maker, not the fairies , not anyone. Not even death itself. Sookie would either change her mind, or I would change her. But sooner or later, she would be my immortal wife rather than my human wife. And of that, I was sure.

I would much rather deal with her ramblings against me and my actions and my high-handedness than deal with her death. I knew that it might be hard at first, but she would eventually forgive me, because then I would have forever to atone to her and make her pardon me. And I've always been a "rather to ask for forgiveness than permission" kind of guy. Yes, Sookie would either change her mind, or I would change her nonetheless.

And then it was day. And then we both slept.

So, in complaisance with many reviews, Ocella and Alexei are both finally dead. :) And you'll understand better what happened next chapter, with a Pam's POV about how she and Sookie managed to escape and kill Alexei. But what about this chapter? Did you enjoy it? Was it character-like? And what about those last Eric's thoughts? Would you like a vampire Sookie? Or not so much? Anyway, reviews are welcome and appreciated! Célia

Blaze of Glory is Jon Bon Jovi's first solo album, released in 1990 (btw, the song "Blaze of Glory" is one of my favorites) and it includes the song "Dyin' Ain't Much of a Livin". The video clip is lovely and its chorus goes this way: "Dyin' ain't much of a livin' / When you're livin' on the run / Dyin' ain't much of a livin' / For the young / Is it too late to ask for forgiveness / For the things that I have done? / Dyin' ain't much of a livin' / For the young"