This chapter explains a little better what happened when both Alexei and Ocella died. I hope it clarifies things for you. And I also hope that you'll think that this is Pam-like. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and bom fim-de-semana (that's "have a nice weekend" in Portuguese). Oh, and pleeeeease review. Célia

Pam "If That's What It Takes"

He had bitten Sookie. He had hurt my maker. He had called the fuckers from the Fellowship of the Sun to get Eric. And he was fucking smiling because he had done all that. But he wouldn't smile for much longer. Oh no, he would not. I'd kill him. And I'd kill the bastard quickly so I could go and get Eric out from those Fellowship bastards.

"You motherfucker. I'll kill you," I said looking at Alexei, "Right now," I then added right before I started walking towards the teenager-looking vampire. And he truly looked like a teen with his baggy pants and sneakers. But the worst was his extra long Justin Bieber t-shirt. And the picture on the t-shirt was of a teenager Justin Bieber, not the thirty-something guy he was now. What the hell? Why would he dress that way?

Before Eric had sent me to England, every time I had seen Alexei he was wearing regular jeans and t-shirts. Not this "true teen" ensemble. Maybe he had just stolen it from someone? Or he just didn't care? Well, I guess it could be worse… He could be wearing a Hannah Montana t-shirt, instead. I smiled for a couple of seconds picturing him in a pink Hannah Montana t-shirt… Or better yet: picturing him in a pink Hannah Montana t-shirt drenched in blood. Drenched in his own blood… because he would be dying. Right then and there.

Yeah, I'd totally kill the motherfucker right then and there.

But then I stopped. Fuck. I tried to keep walking and I couldn't. What the hell? I whispered an "I…" but then I shut up. What would I say? 'I' what? I then tried to move my hands to Alexei and I couldn't do it either. Another whispered "I…" left my lips without any other word following it. I took a step back without any problem, but when I tried again to walk towards him, I froze. I still couldn't. Fuck. What the hell?

Before, I had thought that he was smiling and that I'd take that smile away from his face. But apparently, he had been the one who had taken my smile away. I tried again to walk in Alexei's direction without avail. What…?

"I can't," I finally said. It was as if I was paralyzed.

Alexei laughed. Now he was not only smiling. He was laughing. I was trying yet again to move my arms towards him, without success, when he said: "You are Eric's child. He was told by Master to not hurt me. It was an order. So you can't hurt me either. You can't kill me. Hell, you can't even fight me. Not even to defend yourself."

Huh?

And then it hit me. He was right. That immobility truly felt like when Eric gave me an order. And Ocella's order had been: "do not hurt Alexei."

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

And that was when I saw Alexei putting on a leather glove and taking a silver knife from his pocket. And then his other hand grabbed a stake from the same back pocket. Fuck that pocket. Fuck Alexei. Fuck all that.

I looked at Sookie and she was terrified. And I guessed she had good reasons to be. And the truth was: I was terrified as well.

"You know what?" he kept saying, "now that I'm thinking of it, I guess that I hate you too."

Fuck! I was dead. Dammit. He'd kill me. "You do?" I managed to ask. I had decided that I needed a few more moments to think about what to do. And I'd only get those moments, if he kept talking.

"Yeah. Not as much as I hate Ocella obviously, but I kind of hate you as well," the little fucker added. And he truly had angry, hatred eyes. I had no doubt that he was serious about his claim. He did hate me. But he also hated himself, and everything and everyone else on top of that.

"And why is that?" I asked him while I tried to prevent him from hearing the fear I was feeling in my voice. Maybe if I could keep him talking to me, someone might come in and do what I couldn't and just kill the motherfucker…

I looked at Sookie again. She was still by the bed and she still looked horrified. No wonder… I then thought about her for a quick second… I'd bet that she was cursing again her telepathy and the fact that it brought her to the vampires' attention 13 years before.

Meanwhile, and totally oblivious of Sookie, Alexei kept talking: "Your maker likes you, he treats you well and he protected you from Master. Master would definitely make hell seem like a vacation to you if Eric hadn't sent you away like he did last week."

"And you hate me because Eric treats me well?"

He unnecessarily took a deep breath. "I envy you," he then said. Or rather, he almost whispered with a sad voice. Fuck! What was that? What the hell was that? A "Dr Phill" program or some other shitty 4 pm TV program for the stay-at-home housewives? And was Alexei playing the part of the poor teenager boy who didn't get along with his father and wished he had been born in another family? Hell! He sure dressed for the part. The fucker was crazy.

But he was actually giving me an idea. Another family… Humm… That was a stupid idea… A fucking stupid idea… But stupid or not, I had to try it because I was fucking unable to kill the bastard and powerless to even defend myself.

"That doesn't mean you have to kill me," I told him.

"Yeah, it actually does," he said easily and with as much certainty about it as if he was talking about how vampires drink blood and are burned by the sun. If I had told him that our fangs didn't mean that we drink blood, he'd truly answer me with the same voice and the same words.

"It doesn't," I said again right before I tried out my idea, "besides, I hate Ocella too. And I can help you to get free from him. Hell, even Eric will help you too. He doesn't really like Ocella either. Between the three of us, we can finally kill him. So what do you say?"

He looked at me as if I had said the stupidest thing in the world. And I guess I had. He didn't answer me and I used his silence to keep talking to him, "Listen, you, me and Eric will kill Ocella and then you can stay with us here, we'll be your new family. You know Eric treats me well. He'll treat you well too; we'll both care about you. Just the three of us, taking care of each other. Or, if you want, you can leave and go away because then you'll be your own. You'll be free," he was still staring at me, "okay?"

And then I too, took an unnecessary deep breath, while Alexei kept not talking and just looking at me strangely. And then he smiled. And for a second there I thought that my stupid plan had worked. But then he kept smiling and I saw it. His fangs. Fuck. He wasn't smiling because he liked my suggestion. He was smiling because of its stupidity. Fuck. So, through his already out fangs, Alexei then spoke: "I know I look like a child. But I am not."

Oh. Fuck indeed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It had been a stupid idea, I knew that. But what else could I say? How do you prevent someone who's determined to kill you from doing so? Well, you fight him. But I couldn't fight him either. So what the hell was I supposed to do, rather than try any stupid idea that came to my mind?

And seconds later, I was finally sure that it hadn't worked at all, and that it had indeed been a very stupid idea when Alexei said: "And for that pathetic excuse to change my mind, I'll hurt you for a while before I kill you. And soon you'll see how not a child I am. No child would ever even conjure up even half the pain I'm going to give you."

He then dropped his stake to the floor (the one he had been intended to use on me), put on his other glove and moved his silver knife from his right to his left hand. I guess he was a left-handed guy. And then he suddenly stabbed me in my stomach. And damn, it burnt and it hurt, even when he took the knife out of my body again, it kept burning and hurting. A fucking stab to your stomach is fucking painful. Hell, it really did hurt! And I could feel the blood running out of me... Fuck! I knew that my body was already trying to close the wound and recover itself but damn… it definitely hurt.

Abruptly, he then stabbed me again. Twice. This time it was my upper leg. He left the knife in me the second time. I fell to the floor in pain (in fucking unbelievable pain) and I tried to take the knife from my leg. But because it was made of silver I only managed to burn my hand too.

Alexei's gloved hand was able to take the knife from my leg though. And as quickly as when he stabbed me, he then started kicking me. Shit. That was really a sadistic fucker. He wouldn't only kill me. He'd stab and kick me until I'd almost die from blood loss before he'd finally stake me. Shit!

Meanwhile, I was still trying to fight the compulsion to not hurt him back. But it was worthless. I'd never manage to overcome Ocella's command to Eric. I felt the silver knife again and I screamed with the burning sensation on my back and then more his foot hit violently (and several times) into my still-open stomach's wound. Then, I felt the knife leaving my lower back and I was wondering where I'd be stabbed with it again when Alexei himself fell to the floor next to me, crying in pain.

I tried to get up and even though I couldn't yet stand, I manage to see a stake in Alexei's back. A stake? The fucker screamed one last time and started decomposing right away.

"Are you okay? Pam? Pam?" Sookie's voice brought me back to reality. Sookie! She had killed Alexei with his own stake that he had dropped because he had decided that he want to torture me for a while before he killed me. Sookie!

Not that I was all that amazed because I knew that she had it in her but… Wow…! The little blondie was really something else. She had killed yet another vampire. First Lorena and now Alexei. What a feature for a small human woman like herself.

"Thanks," I told her.

"Can you get up? Do you need my blood to heal?"

I did. But I didn't know how to tell her that. Besides, she was Eric's and Alexei had drunk from her already, and I knew that Eric wouldn't like it if I drink from Sookie as well. Eric! Suddenly I remembered that he was still with the Fellowship guys. Fuck! We had to go there. I could still feel him angry and in pain. I had to get better and get him out of there as soon as possible. And that thought gave me the words to accept her offer of blood: "I do. I have to recover so we'll get Eric."

"Yes, yes you do. Take," she answered and almost put her wrist in my mouth. I tried to keep it painless and I bit into her. I took only two mouthfuls of blood but I felt immediately better. Yes, Eric was right. Sookie's blood was delicious and very powerful. I licked her wound to close it.

"Just that? Don't you need more?"

I wanted more, but I didn't need more. And she was Eric's, so I said, "No. That's enough. I'm feeling much better already. Thank you, Sookie. Now, let's go to Eric and…" I shut up because I immediately felt him through our maker-child bond. I put my hand on my chest by my unbeating heart and I sat on the bed.

"What? Pam? What is it?"

"Eric."

"Oh my God. Did he die? Did he die?" she almost screamed in a panic voice.

"No, he's okay."

With her face still conveying her panic, Sookie said: "What? He's okay?"

"He's drinking someone and he's feeling much better. I think… I think he escaped."

"He did?"

I closed my eyes and didn't answer her for a couple of minutes or so. I focused on my bond with my maker. Eric was indeed feeling much better, and I could tell he was safe again. And even more: he was determined to come to Sookie.

"Yes, he escaped. And I bet he's coming here right now," I finally answered her, "We… we should stay here. We don't have to do anything but wait for him."

As soon as I said those words, Sookie immediately sat next to me and started crying. Wait: crying? But why would she? During our whole ordeal with Alexei she had been so strong… She had been fierce and courageous. Why would she be leaking now? Humans! Even though I had briefly been one, I'd never understand them. But even though she was now behaving like a crying baby, she had been strong and fierce before. So I guessed she deserved her little freak-out and I just hugged her like Eric usually did whenever Sookie would be upset about something. I even rubbed my hands on her back, just like Eric.

"He was just a boy…" she whispered five or ten minutes later, right in the middle of her crying.

I grabbed her face and moved it towards my eyes so we could look each other and then, with very deliberate words and a serious voice tone, I said: "No. He was not. He was an old vampire, and he was a murderer who was trying to kill me and who had killed many people before. And you did the world a favor by getting rid of that crazy fucker. You did what you had to do. He was mad and murderous. You listen to me, Sookie! You saved me. You saved yourself. It was self-defense. You did nothing wrong. Okay?"

Still crying, she nodded to me and moved her head again to my shoulder, so we could keep hugging.

And there we stayed, with me hugging her in her bed (and feeling the painful wounds closing) and Sookie crying nonstop while we waited for Eric. And, like I had foreseen, less than half an hour later, Eric got there and immediately took Sookie from my arms and then he made sure she was okay. He hugged her exactly like I was doing up until then. And she, almost immediately, stopped crying.

And at that very moment, I had a thought about how it didn't matter how you hug (I had hugged Sookie exactly like Eric was doing, but she only stopped crying with him), and that the important part of the hug itself, was that the one who'd be hugging would be the one you would want a hug from. And… fuck! I realized immediately that that was cheesy. And so not me. Damn! What the hell was wrong with me? But then again, maybe I could just quit the bars, move back to England, buy a cottage next to a small village and live pacifically (and especially without anyone trying to kill me) and start writing cheesy romantic books instead?

Anyway, I told Eric how brave she had been and he started moving her away from there when his maker got in. And that was, more or less, when the Roman vampire saw Alexei's body. He then immediately ran there and dropped to his knees next to it.

So… Ocella was babbling in some language while trying to hug the fucking remains of the recently deceased vampire (hell, that hug wouldn't do anyone any good). Eric was almost at the door with Sookie (still hugging her while she hugged him back). And I was left with crying "grandpa" in the room (unhugged and without any desire to change that status).

And that was when I felt it.

Appius Livius was going to finally kill Eric so that he could drink Sookie dry. And I felt it crystal clear. For instance, I knew that, deep down, he didn't want to fight Eric. He truly didn't want to fight, let alone kill, Eric. But Ocella also knew that killing Eric would be the only way to kill Sookie. Even if he prohibited Eric from fighting him back, Ocella knew (he felt, as I did) that Eric would not stop until someone else killed Ocella. We all felt that through the blood bonds. Eric would go to hell and back if he had to, in order to keep Sookie safe or to avenge her death. And now, for Sookie, Eric would be killed by his own maker.

I couldn't allow that. I loved Eric too much to allow that. And in a micro-instant, I decided. I'd kill Ocella myself so he wouldn't kill Eric. I knew it was dangerous. It was fucking, incredibly, stupidly dangerous. But if that was what it took, then that was what I would do. Ocella was almost 2000 years old and I was just a little over 200. And I knew that if he wanted, he would be able to feel my resolution about killing him, and if he did feel it, then he'd just have to turn around and kill me. And I also knew that he would be able to do it in a split of a second. But I was confident that he was way too much preoccupied with his own sorrow and hatred to acknowledge me. Or so I hoped.

And that was why I risked my own life and I tried to stake Ocella. And… I managed it. I did.

I actually managed to finally kill my maker's 2000 year-old maker. Wow. I couldn't even believe that I had been successful. I guess it was my micro-instant decision that didn't allow Ocella any time to feel me approach him. Because as soon as I decided that to prevent Ocella from killing Eric, I'd die if I had to, I immediately saw Alexei's stake (the same one that he had intended to use on me but that had ultimately been his own murder weapon) still by the bed. I quickly grabbed it and without even a second thought about it, I jumped and I killed Ocella. And I actually felt the wood enter his flesh and penetrate his heart. Wow indeed…

Well, I had already killed several humans in my life, the occasional were and even a quite a few vampires. But killing Eric's maker had been a whole new experience. A fucking whole new experience. And Ocella had been so old… I suddenly realized that I hadn't truly thought that I'd be victorious in my attempt to finally kill Ocella. I had only felt that he was going to kill Eric, and I had decided that I needed to do something to avoid it, no matter what. Eric was my entire family and he meant everything to me. He had been there for me for more than two hundred years and I would do anything to prevent his final death.

I was still kind of high because of my blood lost (the stabbing wounds were almost closed then, but I had lost too much blood), and all that had happened since then (like killing a vampire ten times my age), when suddenly, I realized that something was wrong. Very wrong.

First, I felt an emptiness inside me that was painful (as my maker's maker, Ocella's blood was also part of me, so this death emptied something in me and it hurt me – bad!) and then a great sadness and fury. But those weren't my sadness or fury. They were Eric's. And if the way he was looking at me and Ocella's body was some indication, it was obvious that the grief was directed at Ocella and the wrath was directed at me.

And then, for one immensely long second I was really afraid of Eric. I was almost sure that he was going to kill me. But then, in a blink of an eye, he was undecided and helpless. For the first time ever, Eric didn't know what to do. And, neither did I.

But I knew what to say. I told him I was sorry. I tried to explain that I was just defending him. I even added Sookie's name hoping that Eric would see that I meant good. But he just sat there with his head on his hands.

When he looked at me again, I saw that he understood my actions and I felt much better. He then quickly went downstairs with Sookie and left me there. I looked around me and saw that whole mess. It would be up to me to deal with it.

I looked at my Cartier watch, cleaned Ocella's blood from it with my tailored shirt and saw that it was still almost six hours until dawn. So much had happened already, but the night was still a child. Wow! Second cheesy but book-like thought of the night… Maybe I should really consider my writing vein; it would beat dealing with a couple of bloody and filthy rooms with dead bodies in it, for sure.

I grabbed my purse and my cell phone and I called a vampire cleaning service based midway between Shreveport and Baton Rouge, the Fangster Cleanup. We always used those guys. They were quick, discrete and efficient. I described the problem and gave them both addresses – Eric's and Mansur's (where apparently Ocella had been staying).

While I waited for them, I thought about showering and changing but I was too tired even for that. And besides, they had told me on the phone that they'd be there in half an hour. And I needed a long bath, not a quick shower. So instead I just washed my face and my hands.

And as soon as the Fangster Cleanup guys showed up, they started to work. Five hours later, they left Eric's house (it was as if nothing had happened there, except for the cleaning products' smell) and told me that Ocella's rented house was spotless as well. I paid them (including the extra and expensive fee regarding the disposal of two human bodies that apparently were at Ocella's) and drove home.

My clothes and hair were awfully blooded because of Alexei and Appius Livius. When both of them died, parts of their bodies had "flown" onto me. Damn them! Their blood had destroyed a lovely shirt. I then showered for a long time – I even managed to stay awake almost an hour after the sunrise, which was a first – and then I died for the day.

The next night, something as strange as staying awake after sunrise happened again. You see, I was not old enough to wake up before the sunset either, and I hardly ever did. But that evening, I did wake up almost an hour before I should. I guess I was worried about Eric and his reaction to Ocella's final death.

I was already dressed and ready to go (because I had woken up so early) and so, I left my place as soon as the sun was down. I was driving to Eric's when he called me on the phone.

"How are you Pam?"

"I'm fine. How are you Eric?"

"I am all right."

"Listen Eric, I'm driving there to meet you now. I wanted to say I'm sorry about Ocella. I know how you felt about him. I guess I didn't think about it. I just wanted to keep him from killing you."

"I know. Everything is all right Pam. I thank you for your help yesterday. Sookie told me how you freed her right before Alexei arrived to drink her dry. You did what you had to do then. And you did what you had to do after too… with Ocella."

I felt an immense relief. Eric understood me and he sounded normal. Actually, his voice was almost (almost!) cheerful. And I was thankful for that because even though Eric hardly ever talked about his time with Ocella, he did talk about him on occasion. And I knew that Ocella had been an ass during their first time together, but then they had become somewhat friends. And the pain of feeling your maker die... Damn it! If I had felt Ocellas's death and been in pain because of it the previous night, I could only imagine what Eric had felt… I wished I'd never have to feel it. And so, I could only be relieved and thankful that Eric sounded alright.

"I'm glad that you see things that way," I answered him. And I truly was.

"I do. Now Pam: I'm leaving with Sookie tonight. We are driving to Tennessee to pick up Liz. And then we'll stay a few days just the three of us site seeing."

"Okay."

"I need you to keep a watch on everything for me. There are many things to deal with because I haven't been frequently at the bars since Ocella came back and you left to England."

"Don't worry about a thing Eric. I'll take care of the whole thing."

"And you should probably call Adelaide. Tell her about… what happened."

Right... Adelaide. She was the younger child of Ocella's maker. And now I had to tell her that I had finally killed her brother. "Will she… I mean, how do you think she'll react?"

"They were together for a long time. She loves Ocella. But she also knows… knew him better than anyone else. Tell her everything that happened and she'll understand what you did."

"Oh…"

"And you call me if you need me. I'm sure that Lai will understand, but call me if you have to, Pam." What he meant was: if you think that Lai will go there to kill you, tell me so. But he had also said that he thought that Adelaide would understand… Well, I only hoped that she did. First of all, I didn't want any problems with any older vampire, like Adelaide (she was more or less 1200 years old). And secondly, I liked Lai – she was great and I actually considered her a friend.

"I'll call her and I'll keep an eye on things."

"I know you will," he said and then he paused. I guess he was waiting for me to answer and when I didn't, he said, "Anyway, thank you. And we… we'll be back in a week or so."

"Of course. Take care, Eric."

"Sure. Oh, and Pam, I almost forgot. There's another thing: the four weres that were stationed at our place to protect Sookie are missing."

"Oh…" Yeah… The bodyguards… I had totally forgotten about them.

"Alexei told her two nights ago that he had glamoured and sent them away. I need you to find them and set them free if they are alive or deal with their pack and make financial reparations if they're dead."

"Don't worry. I'll deal with it."

"Thank you again Pam." And then he immediately hung up without letting me answer him.

I made a U-turn as soon as I could and started driving to Deadliest. I wasn't yet there when I called on the phone Heidi, a vampire that had recently showed up in Shreveport saying that she was a tracker. I sent her to Eric's and told her to procure the smell of four were-wolves and find them or their bodies. She was to call me as soon as she'd find where they were. And then I kept driving.

As soon as I arrived at Deadliest, I called Adelaide. I told her everything that had happened, about Alexei and how Ocella had been in such a grief that he was going to finally kill Eric. I almost begged for her to understand that I had only intended to protect Eric. And then Adelaide just told me that she had felt it, but, at the time, she hadn't recognized what it had been. I told her that I was sorry for her lost over and over again. And finally, she just thanked me for calling her and ended the call without any other word.

I wondered if she would be coming to kill me to avenge her brother or if she was just grieving and things would be left like that. I hoped she'd be able to understand my actions.

And then, I started to work. I had been away in London and Cambridge for a little over one week and so, there was much to do. Besides, whenever Eric was away travelling, there was always even more work for me (and like he had told me, he hadn't been exactly right on top of things ever since Ocella had showed up)… So I could only envision the huge amount of work that there was to do...

We did have a manager in each bar, and there were obviously all the proprietors of the franchised bars, but it was Eric and I that managed the brands themselves and all that it concerned. And Clancy, Dahlia, Maxwell and Indira had tried to keep it running but there were many things that were beyond them. So, soon after I entered in my Deadliest's office, I saw that there was indeed tons of decisions to make and lots of stuff to either approve or censure or just comment on.

But I was feeling rested, free and happy. And, after my less-sleep-than-normal of the previous night, feeling rested would not properly be my expected feeling. So I guessed those were Eric's feelings. But I didn't care. I was happy for him. He was reacting the best way possible to Ocella's death. Besides, I was sure that a few days away with Sookie and Liz, taking it easy, would improve his mood quite a lot.

And I was right. And I even saw Eric's good mood just a few days after that because by Sunday they were back home and I was invited to go to their place Monday night. Apparently, Lizzie had a gift for me from Tennessee and she was eager to give it to me.

And that night, I saw my maker happy again because a little blond human child was on his lap, brushing his hair with her hands. So, apparently Ocella's death was already dealt with. Good. And Sookie looked happy too. Well, she actually looked quite normal. It was as if she hadn't killed Alexei the previous week. It really seemed like Sookie was more hard-core than before, and I was glad for her. So, it appeared that Alexei's death had also been dealt with. Good. And then there was Elizabeth: totally unknowing of what had happened and happy to be home again. Good.

I left two hours later, felling good myself.

I was driving back to my place when I started thinking about Eric. He and Sookie had travelled a long road but everything was all right now ("travelled a long road" – that was so book-material; I must really try to write something one of these nights). They had bonded and married, but then they had stayed apart for a decade only to be together for a little while before Alexei and Ocella tried to ruin it for them again. But they were okay now. I had seen them that night. They were happy together.

Yes, against all odds, they really did belong to each other. The old and once merciless vampire that looked down on all humans, and the young, human telepath that didn't want to have anything to do with vampires, did belong together. And I hoped that they would get over all their eventual problems and be happy together. Because that was the way they should be. Together. Eric was really different when he was with Sookie. He was happier and he was a better vampire because of her. And even though I teased him about her and Lizzie, I was really glad for him. It had taken him more than one thousand years but he was finally happy now. I just hoped he'd continue that way. Both Eric and Sookie deserved it.

Not that I understood them. Because I didn't. Not at all. And I sure didn't understand their relationship. Not in a million years. And I was positive that I didn't understand their love either. I'd never even been close to feel half of that. But I was cheering for them. I truly was cheering for them and hoping that they'd be happy together. Like I said: they both deserved it.

But with their luck?

Somehow, I doubted it.

And turns out, I was right.

Because there was someone else that wouldn't understand Eric and Sookie's relationship either. But there would be no cheering them there. Actually, it would be quite the opposite.

Did you like the chapter? Was it in-character for Pam? And who is this "someone else" that won't understand Eric and Sookie? :) You know, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but I figured that I still have a couple of loose ends to tie up before the end. I hope you'll enjoy my next "mini-storyline". Célia

"If That's What It Takes" is a single from Bon Jovi's 1995 album "These Days". Because there were so many awesome songs in that album, "If That's What It Takes" was never a huge, undisputed hit, but I like the song very much. "If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do / Tonight's the night, I'm gonna prove it to you / Do I have to break down, baby just to break through / If that's what it takes, that's what I'd do / If that's what it takes..."