Okay so I'm not really sure on what makes something worthy of a "trigger warning" per say but I suppose it varies from person to person. Just so you know though there is a trigger warning in this chapter for reference to violence.
Megan: I usually only read complete stories because i am the most impatient person in the world and go straight through stories without stopping. and the fact that i absolutely hate when an author starts something great and doesn't finish it, so please hurry and update because i really love this story!
I feel you dude. The bane of my life is authors that stop updating. I mean I can't promise instant updates or anything (as previously mentioned) but I do promise no matter how long I go between updates I will never leave this story unfinished. Ever.
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"Up! Up, up, up, up, up!" Beca hadn't been drinking that much the night before, yet the hollering of Chloe's mother as she marched down the hall banging on the bedroom door went through her.
She didn't move though. As much as she wanted to run after Dana and demand she be allowed to stay in bed another half hour (at least) she didn't. She didn't know why at first either. She just knew moving wasn't the wisest option.
It didn't take her long to put two and two together though.
"That was my darling mother, wasn't it?" Chloe grunted, her lips moving against Beca's collarbone, which lay exposed from where her pyjama top had slipped.
"You're darling mother," Beca repeated to clarify, trying to cover the shock she'd received upon feeling Chloe's damp breath on her skin.
It's not that she'd forgotten last night. It's not even that she was surprised Chloe was still lying on her (if anything she was a little thrilled). It had just taken her brain a few moments longer than it should have to piece all the snippets of information together into a completed jigsaw.
"Well then that's probably our cue to get up," Chloe groaned, shifting her body in a way that caused Beca's to move along with it.
"What part of her chanting the word "up" at us gave that away?" Beca teased, reluctantly withdrawing her arm from around Chloe's neck.
"Nuh uh," Chloe warned, pointing a threatening finger at Beca as she sat up and rubbed sleep from her eyes. "No mocking. Not today. Today I have to deal with an entire day of Rachel…"
"It's Raquel," Beca corrected, a manic grin contorting her features when Chloe shot her a murderous look.
"I will end you," the red head dead panned. "I've to spend an entire day with her today. An entire day. You need to be nice to me. Like super nice. Like I need you to pretend I'm your light and savour. Got it?"
"Why do I get the feeling today's not going to be fun…?" Beca queried hesitantly.
"Because you're pretty accurate in your deductions," Chloe replied curtly, sliding herself out onto the floor. "Now I'm going to get ready and all that jazz, cos I've to be at Rachel's house in an hour," she added, opening a drawer and pulling out a worn pair of tracksuit bottoms.
"Kay… am I going with you?" Beca questioned, already half presuming the answer would be a yes.
"No." (oh… well shit, there goes that). "You're going to need to stay here cos mom or Adam are your only means of transport to the chapel later," Chloe explained as she searched for a pair of socks. "That okay?" She added, not really looking like the thought of it not being okay phased her in the slightest.
"Right… yea… cool." Beca tried to cover the look of horror that set on her face.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Chloe you'll at least eat something proper before you go," Dana prompted, trying her best to waft the fumes of her baking in her daughters' direction.
"I'm running late mom," Chloe replied, not looking up as she stared intently at the toaster (because that'd make it work faster), waiting for her solitary piece of toast to pop.
"But Chloe…" Dana began, apparently intent on changing her daughters mind (like even Beca could see the "I'm about to give a speech" look in her eyes, and it wasn't even her mother).
"No mom," Chloe silenced, grabbing the toasted bread when the metallic popping noise finally signalled that her breakfast was ready. "I really do need to go… I'll see you later though," she half apologised half brushed off, grabbing her food between her teeth and snatching her bag from the counter.
"Oh well fine…" Dana huffed, resigning herself to defeat. "See you after the ceremony," she agreed reluctantly.
"See you then mom," Chloe smiled, waving as she walked to the door. "See you later Bec's," she added, crossing the room quickly and planting a soft (and crumb encrusted) kiss on the side of Beca's mouth (oh, so that was a thing they done now then?) before she half ran to the door.
"See ya," Beca agreed just as the door snapped shut (what could she say, the kiss had thrown her).
"Looks like it's just me and you then Beca honey," Dana smiled, lifting a plate of pancakes off the kitchen counter and bringing them to the table, placing them between herself and Beca as she sat down.
"Looks like it," Beca nodded awkwardly, her mind screaming at her to create any kind of conversation.
"I suppose now's my chance to get to know the girl that's stolen my daughters heart a little better then." (Oh shit. Shitty, shit, shit).
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Chloe didn't dare let out her shuddering breath until she was shut up safely inside her red convertible (roof up right now for her own need to feel secure).
It was like that feeling people got in the pit of their stomach before they had a panic attack (only she'd never had a proper one before, so she couldn't be sure). It was nauseous and horrifying, and she wanted more than anything to scream. She couldn't though. That'd be weird, and would probably have half the street out in seconds, their ears pricking at the slightest inkling of gossip.
Instead she sat in the car, not trusting her shaking limbs enough to turn the key. She sat and she pondered and replayed the events that had unfolded in the past twenty-four hours.
She could still feel the cutting pain Beca's words in the bathroom had caused her. She could still envision every black speck of dirt on the cream and blue tiled wall that she'd stared at as she'd eavesdropped. Every second swam around in her mind, bashing against her scull pushing down all rational thinking to a deep, dark corner.
Worse still she could still feel the ghost of Beca's arms around her. She could still smell the vodka off Beca's breath infused delightfully with the brunettes natural coconut scent. In her head Beca's initially awkward movements played like a scene from an adorable rom com, and her muffled and mumbled awkward half sentences proved the perfect back track to the scene.
To put it less poetically; the entire situation well and truly fucking sucked.
Worse still she'd dreamed about it. Not "it" as in the bathroom or even as in any of their half kisses and lingering hand holds. No, she'd had a dream much more frightening. A dream in which Beca had confessed her love and she'd happily returned it in an instant.
("Chloe…?" Beca's angelic dream like voice, which was a little less rough and sarcastic than her normal one, whispered. "… I love you." Chloe, or dream Chloe anyway, had been able to feel her heart beat like a marching drum in her chest.
Worse still, dream Chloe had returned the sentiment without hesitation and had proceeded to fall down in a field of tall grass where they'd made out and… you know… shown one another just how in love they were.)
She was in love. There were no two ways about it, or a loop hole to get out. She'd somehow managed to fall head over heels (yes, clichés and all) in love with Beca Mitchell. And of course as luck would have it, her feelings were in no way mutual.
"Fucking collegiate crushes…" Chloe sighed, finally setting her car in reverse as she backed out of the driveway. "So much got a simple family gathering."
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"And uh yea… that's how I ended up at Barden." Beca was pretty sure that at this point she'd broken out in a cold sweat.
Chloe's mother was like the love child of the Spanish Inquisition and a 20 Questions game, except the evil dickhead child that didn't know boundaries, and even if they did, wouldn't abide by them (Chloe was for sure her mother's daughter).
"So you had no say in life after highshool?" Dana pondered, looking like she'd never been more interested in a conversation before in her life.
"Not really…"Beca shrugged. "I mean after this year dad said he'd consider letting me move to LA, but it was never an option I was given initially," she explained.
"That's awful," Dana blurted, her head shaking mournfully from side to side. "Forcing you into something you didn't want."
"It's just the way my parents are though," Beca brushed off. "They've always felt they know what's best for me, just because I never really chose to fit in with the vision they had of me."
"Well Beca honey," Dana suddenly smiled, her hand sliding across the table to rest comfortingly on top of the brunettes. "As long as you're in a relationship with my daughter, and as long as you're under this roof, you never need to feel obliged to conform. As long as you're here you're my daughter too and I think you're a wonderful and well-rounded young lady… from what I know of you so far anyway."
"Uh… thanks." Beca knew she sounded ungrateful in her curt reply, but she just wasn't sure she'd be able to form a longer sentence without quite possibly crying a little.
She'd talked to a lot of people about her parents. She'd talked to therapists, relatives, school friends and even ex's. Through all that though Chloe and (shockingly enough) Dana were the first two people that'd ever made her feel better about it. Ever made her feel like her childhood, and her parents hadn't messed her up completely.
"No need to thank me honey," Dana smiled, pulling her hand away. "You've made my little girl very happy. That's thanks enough."
"No really," Beca insisted, feeling a real need to drive home her point (especially since she was currently feeling something dangerously close to guilt about how happy Dana was that Beca had "stolen Chloe's heart"). "It means a lot to hear someone say that."
"Well good," Dana nodded warmly. "Because you know family do stuff for family… like taking out the trash for example."
"Wha…" Beca's jaw hung a little slack as her eyes darted to the bin in the corner, the lid of which wasn't fully closed as cans of some sort poked out from the interior bag. "Would you like me to take out the trash Dana?" Beca smirked, already knowing the answer.
"Tins and cans in the blue bin, paper and plastic in the green one. Everything else in the brown," Dana instructed triumphantly.
"I feel used," Beca complained, standing begrudgingly from the table and approaching the bin.
(Oddly enough though, carrying the waste bag out the door and scowling at the smug expression on Dana's face was in fact the most accepted Beca had ever felt).
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Beca should have taken gloves. She definitely should have taken gloves. Then again, why would she think of something as obvious as the fact that sifting through trash to separate paper, plastics, cans, and miscellaneous would be such filthy work.
"Beca… what ch'u doing?" The question from Chloe's niece almost caused Beca to jump out of her skin.
"I'm uh… taking out the trash," she replied as she felt her heart pounding with adrenaline. "Don't suppose you want to help?" She questioned teasingly, turning to Grace with a banana skin in her hand.
"Ewww, no way!" The child's head shook so vigorously Beca was sure it'd fall off.
"Thought not," Beca laughed, turning quickly to throw the skin into the brown bin before returning her attention to Grace. "So what brings you here so early?" She questioned the child.
"Granny wanted to see my dress for the wedding," Grace explained. "So mom and dad said we could get ready here so then she could see it and help me do my hair too."
"Oh, sounds like fun," Beca laughed, Graces enthusiasm for the day ahead catching a little (maybe she should bottle some of it for Chloe later? God only knows she'd need it).
"It will be!" Grace's face split into a manic grin.
"Is your dad here?" Beca questioned suddenly, really hoping he wasn't.
"He's in the car still," Grace informed her. "He got a call from work and said he'd be in soon so me and mom decided to go ahead, but then I saw you and wanted to come say hello so I did and then we started talking about trash and then…"
"And then we started talking about your dress and now we're back to here?" Beca cut her off, knowing where the young girls conversation was leading.
"Yea…" Grace agreed. "I'm going to go inside now to try on my dress. See you later Beca."
"See you Grace," the brunette chuckled, watching as the young girl skipped across the lawn and up to the front door of the house.
"Making friends Beca?" Adam's voice called from behind her.
"Mherf!" (That wasn't her response; that was just the noise of shock that preceded her actual sentence). "Something like that I guess…" She shrugged, turning to watch Adam approach her from his car. "She was showing me her dress."
"She's been looking forward to wearing it since she saw it in the shop," Adam smiled, glancing quickly to the door Grace had just disappeared through. "I owe you an apology Beca," he continued before Beca had a chance to butt in.
"Oh?" The brunette genuinely hadn't been expecting one.
"Yea," he sighed, apparently this conversation taking all his power to continue with. "I have all these lines about having Chloe's best interests at heart. All this stuff about looking out for her and knowing her better than anyone else. I think part of it's just… I've just always felt obliged to be there for her. To look after her and to make sure no harm comes to her because she's my sister. What you said to me yesterday though… and watching the way you two acted around one another at the wedding rehearsal… I'm starting to think I don't need to anymore."
"Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?" Beca enquired cautiously.
"Don't get too cocky," Adam grinned. "You're still sleeping with my little sister… I still have my eye on you," he smirked, turning to walk back towards the door.
"Adam wait," Beca called out suddenly (it was now or never). "Your dad. Tell me what happened between Chloe and your dad."
"It's none of…"
"My business, I know," Beca cut him off. "Except it is. It is my business and no one will tell me about it and I just want to help her… I just want to help her."
"Our father's not a bad man Beca," Adam replied mournfully, his smile slipping from his lips as he took a step back towards her. "He's not a bad man and I need you to know that… he just makes bad choices."
"I'm not here to judge him… I'm just here to help your sister."
"The bin bag you just emptied… what was taking up at least half the space?" Adam questioned next, motioning with a limp hand to the black plastic at her side.
"Cans… uh, beer cans." (She was beginning to see where this conversation was going already).
"Yea… all his," Adam sighed. "Chloe and dad were best friends until Chloe was six or seven. Then she dropped out of little league to do ballet and take singing classes. She stopped coming fishing with us a few years later as well. It was tough. Dad worked a lot during the week and fishing was his way to bond with us at weekends… that or talking about sport, which of course Chloe couldn't care less about either. It put a real strain on their relationship."
"I can imagine," Beca agreed.
"Chloe uh… Chloe came out when she was fourteen. As bisexual I mean… and I… I don't know what it was but dad just couldn't take it. Don't get me wrong, he's not homophobic… I mean his cousin Gary's got a husband and he went to the ceremony they had and everything. I think it was just something about it being his child though. That made it different somehow. I still remember when she told him. She'd told me a few days ago, and she'd sat mom down that morning but she waited until right before she went to bed that night to tell dad… don't ask me why, it was just the way it turned out I guess. I was up in my room reading, but I just remember screaming. Like these god awful roars from downstairs. I couldn't make out the words; it was just dads voice filling up the entire house. By the time I came down stairs it was all over…" He trailed off awkwardly, refusing to make eye contact with Beca.
"What was?" Beca could hear her heart ricocheting off her rib cage and taste the bitter dryness in her throat.
"Everything… their relationship. Their father daughter bond, whatever you want to call it," Adam shrugged. "He'd been drinking and he slapped her… straight across the face, and then he hit her again just as hard. She was only fourteen. She was only a kid, and when I came downstairs she was lying on her bedroom floor too shocked to cry."
"He hit her…" Beca sounded out the words, making sure they were real and making sure she'd actually heard them accurately.
"He'd never hit anyone before that, and he never hit anyone after that but yea… yea he hit her," Adam concurred. "It's easy to forget really, when it hasn't happened to you. Life just goes on as normal. Chloe bounced back once the bruise faded… she always bounced back. After a while mom was even able to look him in the eye again. It's still there though, you just get used to it. Every time they're in a room together it's still there and I doubt anything will ever change that. Not if it hasn't already."
"I can't… I never… I never even guessed…" Beca was at a complete loss over what to say.
"That's the idea," Adam half smiled. "You're not meant to guess. You really think Chloe would want people knowing something like that happened to her? Like I said, she bounced back. Chloe can't stay sad; it's against her nature so she just moves on. She stays positive and optimistic and to hell with the rest of it."
"It just happened and you all moved on?" Beca pondered; her expression blank as her brain tried to process.
"It happened and yea, eventually we did. We did because Chloe did as best she could and we owed it to her to try as well. I know it makes no sense to you… and it wouldn't cos you weren't there. You didn't grow up in this house, but yea, that's just what happened."
"Fuck…" Beca stated (the only word in her extensive vocabulary fitting her emotions right now). "That's fucked up."
"Yea… unfortunately every family is if you peel back enough layers."
Neither of them had anything left to say after that. Adam left first, turning on his heel and walking inside without so much as a glance over his shoulder as Beca got back to the task at hand and finished separating the trash, her mind spinning the entire time.
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"Okay, now are we all ready to go?" Dana called, running as quickly as her heels would allow her into the kitchen, still attaching an earring.
"We've been ready for half an hour mom… it's you we're all waiting on," Adam reminded her yet again.
"Okay, well I'm done now so let's go," She demanded, her voice becoming military as she lined them to march to the cars. "Beca honey, are you coming?" She added, noticing that the brunette was the only one of her "soldiers" that hadn't budged.
"Yea…" Beca replied absently, staring down at the blank text on her phone like she had been for the past five minutes. "I just need to send someone a text first."
"Well hurry… we'll wait on you in the car," Dana sighed, rushing out the door behind Grace.
I've thought about it…
The beep to signal the text being sent had hardly chimed when the reply came through.
I presume this is in relation to the conversation we had last night?
Yea…
And?
Beca hesitated. Informing Aubrey of her intent was more or less setting everything in stone to happen, because once a Posen knew there was no turning back.
And… the risk's worth taking