Chapter 28
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, if you mistake me for George Lucas you must be pretty unintelligent.
oOo
It took Jar Jar much longer than expected to find the underwater city of the Gungans. Qui-Gon, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Captain Panaka and a few of the inevitable handmaidens were all standing near the spot where Jar Jar vanished into the murky water, waiting with varying degrees of patience. Anakin was the first to wander off. He had spotted an unused and dusty device in the ship's common room that looked like it might actually be a video game. Anakin loved video games, and he was very good at them, as he had already proven with his smashing result in the Boonta Eve race.
The handmaidens followed him into the ship soon after. They were bothered by the myriads of insects that greedily assaulted any exposed skin they could spot. They didn't have the Force to convince the tiny but extremely irritating bloodsuckers that the blood of young girls must surely taste much sweeter than that of Jedi Padawans. Although he did feel slightly bad about this rather inappropriate use of the Force, this way Obi-Wan managed to get rid of two pests at once.
Not for long, though. The whole royal entourage joined them again some time later, equipped with insect repellents. Anakin also joined them soon after thoroughly dismantling what had not been a video game at all. He had tried to find out why it wouldn't work and why the only thing it did was produce this foul-tasting hot brown liquid when he wanted to play with it. Convinced that he could fix anything, he had completely disassembled the Queen's coffee machine in trying to get it to cooperate. When he had completely taken the thing apart he decided to check on Padmé and joined the Queen and her entourage outside. Queen Amidala had exchanged her heavy and cumbersome robe for something that looked a little more practical if no more comfortable. Her hair was done up in a sculpture sticking out of her head like two big horns – or like the emblem of the USS Enterprise.
The bright afternoon sun had already disappeared behind dark clouds and mist was rising from the swamp as Jar Jar finally re-emerged.
"Desa nobody dare! The Gungan city is deserted," Jar Jar told them without preamble. "Some kinda fight, mesa tinks."
Ooh, it can think? How unexpected, Anakin thought. Something along these lines was also going through Obi-Wan's head, and doubtlessly through the pretty little heads of the handmaidens.
Although Obi-Wan would probably never become a huge fan of the Gungans as a whole and Jar Jar in particular, he didn't want them suffering for a war that was not theirs – at least not yet theirs, but that might change if the Queen's plan worked.
"Do you think they have been taken to the camps?" he asked worriedly.
"More likely they were wiped out," Panaka bluntly corrected him, rolling his eyes at the Padawan's remark. Although Obi-Wan often wished the universe weren't so cruel, he had to admit that the Captain was probably right. Although he was in general a rather kind person with seemingly endless patience, even he sometimes felt like strangling Jar Jar. So it was very likely that the Trade Federation would certainly kill them without so much as blinking an eye – not that their droids could actually blink their eyes, anyway.
Jar Jar surprised everyone by saying: "Mesa no tink so."
"Do you know where they are, Jar Jar? Maybe I can return you and get a refund. I don't think you are as advertised. Besides, you're both the wrong size and the wrong colour. I expressly ordered mauve, didn't I, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Um, actually, Master, that's your new boots you are talking about. And I don't think you will get a refund for returning Jar Jar, although you should certainly hold on to the thought of saying goodbye to him," Obi-Wan quietly informed his Master.
"Ah, yes, now I remember. Thanks Padawan, you are correct, of course, as always. But I would still like to know where the Gungans have gone," Qui-Gon added with a questioning glance at Jar Jar.
"When in trouble, Gungans go to sacred place called Eden. There, wesa hide. Sacred place cannot be found easily. Is not only sacred but also secret. Mesa show you! Come on! Mesa show you!" Jar Jar volunteered, this time without any threats from Obi-Wan.
Jar Jar gestured for them to follow and quickly walked off.
Obi-Wan still doubted Jar Jar's navigational skills after their initial experience in Theed where the Gungan had led them in circles. Still, Jar Jar seemed quite confident in his choice of direction, so the Padawan just shrugged and followed his Master, who was already catching up with their current navigator. He just wondered why the Gungan was so willing to lead them to a secret sacred place when the Gungans were quite obviously xenophobic, judging by the way they had welcomed the Jedi the last time around, and evidently didn't wish to be found.
Naturally, Obi-Wan's bad feeling about Jar Jar's sense of direction was right, much to everyone's exasperation. The Gungan suddenly stopped in mid-step, causing everyone to stop and Anakin to bump into Qui-Gon because the boy had been too distracted by Padmé, who was walking somewhere off to his left, talking to some other handmaiden.
Jar Jar looked around confusedly, looking this way and that, clearly having no idea either where he was or which way the sacred place lay.
"Mesa have no idea where wesa are," he finally admitted remorsefully.
Captain Panaka groaned loudly. It seemed that whenever he left the decision-making to that Jedi Master, things seemed to inevitably go wrong. Before he could voice his reservations about Qui-Gon's qualities as a leader, though, said Jedi already arranged for a team to go and find the hidden sacred place while the Queen and her entourage should stay where they were, protected by the pilots and Captain Panaka.
"Your Highness, you should stay here with your handmaidens. The pilots and you, Captain Panaka, can protect you. I don't expect anything more dangerous than a few aphids to come across you around here. Just stay away from the more marshy areas, do a barrel roll if necessary, don't attract undue attention and you should be fine. Obi-Wan, Anakin, you come with me."
And with that, Qui-Gon marched off, expecting his Padawan and Anakin to follow.
Anakin quickly rushed after the Jedi Master, intent on not missing even the tiniest part of this incredible adventure he had somehow stumbled into. Obi-Wan followed after, and protested as soon as they were out of hearing distance.
"Master, do you consider it wise to bring Anakin along? We might run into droid scouts, and even if we don't I think this is much too dangerous for an untrained child."
Anakin glared at the Padawan and was about to protest – there was no way he would stay behind when Qui-Gon had allowed him to come along – when Qui-Gon beat him to it.
"Nonesense, Obi-Wan. Naboo is generally a peaceful planet, except when there's the occasional invasion of the Trade Federation's droid army. And besides, what are a few spindly droids against a seasoned Jedi Master? You worry too much, Obi-Wan. This will be a valuable first lesson for Anakin. Besides, he's the Chosen One, so what should happen to him? No, he will come along, whether you like it or not."
Decision made, Qui-Gon stalked off.
Obi-Wan sent Anakin an apologetic glance and followed Qui-Gon.
"But, Master…"
Anakin eagerly jogged after Qui-Gon, trying to keep up with the Jedi Master's long strides.
For fifteen minutes, they walked in silence: Anakin next to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan a few paces behind. So far, Anakin had managed to keep up with Qui-Gon's long strides. His excited chattering had ceased after the argument between Master and Padawan, and the small group walked in tense silence.
In front of Qui-Gon, the trees and the mist parted to reveal the calm and dark surface of a huge lake. Qui-Gon's steps never slowed as he started wading into the cold water, but Anakin's slowly faltered and he came to stand right at the edge of the lake.
Obi-Wan came to stand next to Anakin. He was surprised when suddenly a small and clammy hand tightly gripped his.
"Master?" Obi-Wan called to Qui-Gon. "Master, please wait. Mas-"
Qui-Gon, tired of listening to his student's objections, simply took out his rebreather and dived into the lake.
Obi-Wan sighed. Qui-Gon had simply brushed all his arguments aside and insisted that Anakin would be fine. But that seemed not to be the case at all.
For all his conviction, Qui-Gon had forgotten quite a few important things concerning Anakin.
"You don't know how to swim, do you?" Obi-Wan quietly asked Anakin.
The boy nodded slowly, eyes still fixed on the lake. He looked terrified.
Obi-Wan mused that the most water Anakin had ever seen in one place had probably never been more than one small puddle at most.
Qui-Gon, of course, had completely failed to realize that, seeing as he only ever lived in the moment.
Obi-Wan sighed once again. This was exactly what he had meant when he had argued against bringing Anakin along.
Seeing Anakin's frightened face, he crouched down next to the boy.
"Don't worry, Anakin, it's only water. I know that you have never seen this much water before, and I know that you can't swim. But since Master Qui-Gon is adamant about taking you along, you will be cared for. See, this is why I wanted you to stay with the Queen," he explained, "and with Padmé," he added with a slight wink. "I said that not because I don't like you but because I think that we'll have to teach you the basics before we drag you along into dangerous situations."
Anakin was relieved. What had Qui-Gon expected him to do, walk on the water?
"I'm not the Messiah, you know," he suddenly said, "I can't just walk over water… can I? After all, Qui-Gon said I was the Chosen One…"
Carefully, Anakin placed one foot on the murky water and put his weight on it. When it sank into the muddy ground with a loud squish he shuddered and quickly took a step back. The water had grabbed at his foot, he was sure of it. It had tried to take hold of him and to pull him down into its gloomy depths and devour him.
Obi-Wan sensed his panic and tried to reassure him. He had little to no experience in dealing with children, Qui-Gon usually was much better in putting them at ease than he was, but unfortunately, Qui-Gon was not only elsewhere, he was also the cause for Anakin's consternation, if indirectly.
"Anakin, I'm afraid we'll have to go into that lake if we want to follow Master Qui-Gon. But don't worry, nothing will happen to you, I promise."
Anakin was greatly relieved at Obi-Wan's promise. He didn't know how, but something told him that he could trust the Padawan and that Obi-Wan would always keep his promises.
Anakin nodded bravely and clasped Obi-Wan's hand a bit tighter.
"You see, the water is really quite harmless," Obi-Wan encouraged Anakin.
"Um, but, Obi-Wan, I still can't swim," Anakin reminded Obi-Wan.
"Yes, I have not forgotten about that." Obi-Wan took something from his belt and gave it to Anakin. "This is a rebreather. With this, you can even breathe under water. You will probably not need it since we will only swim and not dive like Master Qui-Gon unless we are attacked, but maybe it helps to calm you a bit."
Anakin gratefully took the strange little device. Although he found the idea of needing a machine to breathe extremely creepy, he appreciated the offer.
"Thanks," he said, smiling up at Obi-Wan. His heart lightened a bit more when he received a small smile in return.
Obi-Wan took Anakin on his back and told him to hold on tight. Slowly, he waded into the lake and started swimming.
Anakin was nervous. The water gurgled and lapped at him menacingly. Obi-Wan seemed not in the least bit afraid, though. He swam in strong, steady strokes, creating ripples on the smooth and calm surface of the water. Still, Anakin tightened his grip around Obi-Wan's neck and warily eyed the water around him expecting it to try and drag him into its depths. He became even more worried when Obi-Wan's breathing turned from almost inaudible and steady to laboured.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his voice sounding strangled and breathless.
Anakin panicked. What was the matter?
"Anakin," Obi-Wan repeated, "Anakin, you have to loosen your grip a bit. You're strangling me."
Suddenly, Anakin realized just how tightly he had wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and relaxed his tight hold.
"Sorry," Anakin mumbled.
"It's all right," Obi-Wan said, still panting a bit but fine otherwise. "Though if you continue like that, I fear that someday you are going to be the death of me," he joked.
Anakin chuckled slightly. "Oh yeah, sure. Qui-Gon disagreed with me when I said it, but I still think that no one can kill a Jedi."
Obi-Wan thought about this for a moment. He would have to point this potentially dangerous conviction out to Qui-Gon later, but right now he didn't want to frighten Anakin any more.
Anakin chewed a bit on his lip, hesitating, before he dared ask: "When I become a Jedi, I want to learn how to swim like that, too. Will you teach me how to use the Force so that the water won't swallow me?"
Obi-Wan chuckled. "There's no use of the Force involved in swimming. It's really a very common skill, and every Jedi learns how to do it. Almost everyone learns how to do it, in fact."
Anakin was deeply impressed. "You don't need the Force for swimming?"
"No, you don't. It's not all that hard. I learned how to swim when I was quite young, about three years old or so. That is because I have a friend back at the Jedi Temple whose natural habitat is in the water. She is a Mon Calamari, and her home planet is entirely covered in water. She taught me how to swim, and she can swim circles around everyone else I know. I'm sure you'll like her, she is one of the gentlest beings I know, and she will surely teach you a few tricks if you ask her nicely."
Anakin's eyes went wide. He couldn't imagine living in the water, much less a whole planet covered in water. He still had trouble with grasping the amount of water here on Naboo and only managed to accept slowly that there was seemingly a lot more water in the Galaxy than he had ever imagined. Of course his mother had told him that there were such things as lakes, but Anakin had never quite believed her. He had not been able to imagine this much water. But his mother had also told him about things like planets covered in ice where there was a strange phenomenon called aurora borealis, and that was something that just had to have been a fairytale. Anakin supposed his Mom had just been trying to accumbularate him.
Obi-Wan managed to further distract Anakin from his fears by telling him a bit about Qui-Gon.
"Master Qui-Gon is really a great teacher. He may be very unconventional, but that also makes him exceptional. He demands discipline and obedience, and he may seem strict at times, but he is a kind and caring man."
Obi-Wan told him about Qui-Gon's habit of picking up strays and his affinity for the Living Force. He warned him of the quarrels Qui-Gon regularly picked with the Council and advised him how to deal with being the buffer between the Masters of the Council and Master Qui-Gon.
"And when he tells you that there's always a bigger fish, just nod and say 'Yes, Master' no matter how often he repeats it and how useless it seems. Never ever question this – believe me, I learned this the hard way and got first a three-hour lecture and then the silent treatment for a whole week for my doubts of his wisdom."
Obi-Wan asked Anakin to tell him a bit about his life on Tatooine. Anakin chattered excitedly and told his newfound friend about his mother and his success at the Boonta Eve race. That gave Obi-Wan the chance to use the Force to repel one of the more determined and dangerous inhabitants of the lake they were crossing, convincing it to look somewhere else for nourishment.
Some time later, they saw first Qui-Gon's head break the surface of the water, followed by the rest of the tall Master. Two minutes later, Obi-Wan and Anakin had also reached water that was shallow enough for Anakin to stand in. Obi-Wan carefully lowered Anakin to the ground.
Qui-Gon was wringing the water from his hair when Anakin and Obi-Wan rejoined him. Qui-Gon grumbled a bit about some bigger fish that had tried persistently to eat him. Apparently, the huge creature had been completely convinced that Qui-Gon was much tastier than something else the fish had found and obviously spurned as inedible. Obi-Wan cringed slightly as he knew exactly what it had been that the monster had refused to eat.
Soon after setting out again, they found the Gungans by the amount of noise they made. Their sacred place turned out to be not secret at all. It was just an area of the swamp that was littered with old stone statues, or what was left of them. It seemed that there had been a culture here even before the Gungans came to Naboo since the heads of the statues looked human and not Gungan at all.
The Gungans had not even realized that their hideout had been discovered and the Jedi returned to the Queen unchallenged. Qui-Gon led them to the Gungans, this time graciously avoiding the direct route through the lake. Thanks to the awesome drying powers of the Force, their clothes were no longer wet, yet it would be most disrespectful towards her Royal Highness to make her swim through the lake when they could easily walk around it.
This time when they entered the Gungan sacred place, they didn't bother to be stealthy. Still, it took the Gungan guards an incredibly long time to spot the intruders and even longer to do something about them. By the time they were finally stopped by the Gungan security forces, they were already halfway through the makeshift camp that had been erected in between the little ponds and the stone statues.
The Gungans seemed less than pleased to see them, but least of all they seemed to be pleased by Jar Jar's presence.
Under the curious gaze of a few Gungans they were brought before the Gungan Boss. The Gungan population seemed to be sadly decimated. There were maybe fifty Gungans in all. Either the rest was hiding somewhere else, or they had indeed been 'wiped out', as Captain Panaka had put it.
"Your Honour, Queen Amidala of the Naboo," the Gungan Captain announced them.
Jar Jar stepped forward. "Hello dadee Big Boss Nass, Your Honour," Jar Jar greeted the Gungan leader, waving sheepishly.
Obi-Wan was not quite sure if Jar Jar had just called Boss Nass 'Daddy' or if it was just another of the Gungan's nonsense words he used to make his sentences appear longer than they actually were. If Boss Nass truly were Jar Jar's father, though, it seemed even crueler to banish the bumbling Gungan. For a father to turn away from his child, it should take a lot more than just the child's clumsiness - something of a much larger scale, like if Jar Jar had betrayed his people and killed them all. And even then…
"Jar Jar Binks," Boss Nass boomed, cutting Obi-Wan's thoughts short. "Who's da uss-en uthers?" he asked, pointing at the Queen, her entourage and the Jedi. He had obviously already forgotten about the Jedi, and he had apparently not listened to the announcement of Queen Amidala's name.
"I am Queen Amidala of the Naboo," Dormé in the guise of the Queen introduced herself. "I come before you in peace – um, I mean in pieces. My clothes are in pieces. Not the ones I'm wearing, obviously, but the ones I left at home. These Trade Federation meanies have taken my palace which contains all my beautiful robes and dresses and all my other clothes."
"Ahhh. Naboo biggen," the Big Boss shouted. "Yousa bringen da Mackineeks. Yousa all bombad," he finished with an air of finality, as if that said everything.
"We have searched you out because we wish you to fight for us since we can't be bothered to fight for ourselves – erm, I mean because we wish to form an alliance," the Queen said.
Dormé aka the Queen had barely finished when Padmé the real Queen aka a handmaiden stepped forwards.
"Your Honour," she addressed the Gungan Boss.
"Whosa dis?" Boss Nass asked condescendingly.
"I am Queen Amidala," Padmé claimed. Jar Jar gaped at her, mouth hanging open in surprise. Anakin's head shot up to look at Padmé. He was going to marry a Queen? WOOOOOW! Did that mean he would become a King? Even an unofficial one?
"This is my decoy," Padmé continued, "my protection, my loyal bodyguard. I'm sorry for my deception, but it was necessary to protect myself."
Qui-Gon looked up and saw that Obi-Wan stared straight ahead, not daring to meet his eye. What, SHE is the Queen, he asked through their bond. But she doesn't look right. The Queen has a white face with red dots on it, like the girl who looks like the Queen. Who would have guessed?
Obi-Wan didn't answer. He had told his Master more than once about his suspicion concerning Padmé's real identity, and as always Qui-Gon had refused to believe him. Obi-Wan shot him a short glance that clearly said "I told you so".
You knew it, didn't you? Qui-Gon asked, sounding both miffed and amused at the same time. You should have informed me, Padawan. Why didn't you inform me?
Padmé continued her little speech. "Although we do not always agree, Your Honour, our two great societies have always lived in peace. The Trade Federation has destroyed all that we have worked so hard to build. If we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. I ask you to help us – no, I beg you to help us. We are your humble servants" Padmé finished, sinking to her knees in front of the Gungan Boss. When nothing happened, she glared at her entourage and mouthed "Kneel or I will behead you all." Suddenly, all her handmaidens and all the pilots also fell to their knees.
"Our fate is in your hands," Padmé concluded dramatically.
For a few seconds a tense silence ruled – until a strange sound emanated from Boss Nass. It took a few seconds for everyone to recognize the sound as a laugh.
"Yousa no tinken yousa greater den da Gungans?" Boss Nass asked.
Padmé shook her head hesitantly.
"Mesa lika dis! Maybe wesa being friends," Boss Nass declared.
Now that was a lot easier than I expected, Obi-Wan thought. It's nice that sometimes things can go right, after all.
Boss Nass slobbered so that the people in the front rows were all generously sprinkled with saliva. That made everyone else smile, too. Padmé broke into a huge smile, and even Qui-Gon chuckled quietly. The Gungan Boss was just too cute when he slobbered.
The assembled crowd dutifully erupted in joyous cheers as the signs spelling "APPLAUSE" lit up above the heads of Boss Nass.
oOo
Edited on 27th February, 2011