Yes, it took me a week to update again. And I'm sorry for that (but chapter 43 is almost done). And so, without further ado, here's chapter 42. Thank you for reading, Célia

Eric "In These Arms"

I was feeling awful that I had kissed Nat back, for a second time. And the worst part was that I was feeling awful because of both of them: Sookie and Nat. And I realized that I had seriously fucked up. With both of them.

First of all, I should have told Nat absolutely everything about Sookie as soon as I had seen her again. Or hell, even before she had come to Louisiana. Yes, I should have called Nat the minute Sookie decided she'd come and live with me in Shreveport. And if Natércia hadn't understood me or my feelings, then it would have been Nat's problem; not mine. But instead, I chose to tell her "just enough", while hoping that she'd leave soon.

Besides, and other than that, I should never, ever have kissed Natércia. It had been just a couple of kisses, yes. And they hadn't meant a fucking thing to me. But I knew Sookie. And I was sure that for her, kissing another woman meant cheating. And if I was to put myself in her shoes… Damn it! I would kill any guy who tried to kiss her. Hell! I would kill any guy who thought about trying to kiss her. So, yeah, I had seriously fucked up. But when I drove back from the Continental Hotel that night, I just didn't know how much yet.

I did love Sookie. And I was completely sure of it. I loved her like I had never, ever, loved anyone. And I was truly sorry that I had kissed Natércia. Sookie deserved way more from me and I had, like I said before, seriously fucked up. But the thing was that the kisses hadn't meant a bloody thing; I had only reacted to Nat the way I had been reacting for centuries. I had fallen into our regular pattern. And I swear, kissing her back had only been an impulse; a natural feeling that existed because of way too many nights passed that way.

And, of course, the blood also mattered.

Nat had a habit of sometimes piercing my tongue or my lips when we were fucking. And even though she only did it once or twice every four or five decades, it was an 8-centuries old habit so, yes, there was a connection between us there … What the fuck can I say, but admit it? Yes, Nat was the one who kept making us have those small exchanges of a couple of drops of blood but I… I've always liked it too. I was a vampire for fuck's sake, and Nat was a fucking sexy vampire as well, and the taste or smell of blood had always turned us on… So I kept letting her do it. And I had never minded it because I trusted her just as she trusted me. So yeah, it had never bothered me. At all. Until now. Because now I had Sookie. Or, at least, I hoped that I still had Sookie.

And as I was driving back home, I thought about all that had happened that night. And I could understand why Nat hadn't liked to hear about Sookie. I had always seen Nat as a priority in my life, and now I was choosing a human over her. Besides, the fact that we had that blood connection, and that we had been together for so long, would obviously make Natércia think that she had some claim over me. But she hadn't. Or rather, she was important to me, because she was my friend and we had gone through too much shit together over the years. But that was it. That was only it. Yes, I did love Nat. But I was sure that I didn't love her the way I loved Sookie. Besides, as my friend, and one who could feel my emotions, Nat would have to understand that I was different from before. I wasn't the same man that I had once been.

As soon as I arrived home, I went and I checked Lizzie's room, as I always did (she was sleeping quietly), before I went to my bedroom upstairs. Sookie was also sleeping when I slowly woke her up. I wanted nothing more than to just take a shower and then get under the bed sheets, hug Sookie and just feel her warm body next to me. But I knew that I couldn't. Before we did that (if we did that), I had to come clean and just confess everything.

And that was what I did. I told her about Nat's attack, as well as Natércia's attempt to have sex with me. And at my answer, Sookie gasped and moved slightly away from me. And at each sentence we'd say, she would move a little farther from me. And then she deeply sighed before she asked me if I was going to leave her. I immediately told her that I would never leave her, right before she asked me if I had had sex with Nat. And I truthfully told her that I hadn't.

And Sookie immediately relaxed. But I knew that even though Natércia and I hadn't had sex, we had kissed. And I needed to tell Sookie that. She deserved the truth. And so, ashamed of my behavior and hating what I had done, I just admitted to it. I told her that Nat had kissed me, and that I had kissed her back twice.

And just like she had done before, Sookie gasped again and moved even further from me. I was full of remorse, and Sookie's reaction was killing me, so I just kept telling her that I loved her and that she was the most important thing to me in the whole world. I told her that I was sorry and that if I could, I would go back in time and do everything differently.

But it wasn't enough and she asked me to leave. I immediately time-travelled more than a decade into our past, when Sookie said that she needed space from me right before she moved to Tennessee. I wanted do scream at her, and tell her that I wouldn't leave. I wanted to grab Sookie and shake her and beg her for forgiveness until she would forgive me. I wanted to yell that she belonged to me, just as I belonged to her.

But I did no such thing. And instead, I just left.

I checked Lizzie again, but that time, while I looked at her sleeping, I couldn't stop myself from wondering if I would lose both Sookie and Liz because of my stupidity. Lizzie had become so important to me, that I knew that I would insist with Sookie for the right to keep spending time with my Elizabeth even if Sookie wouldn't want to be with me anymore. But suddenly, I realized that I didn't want to even think about the hypothesis of losing both of them, so I just left Lizzie's room and went downstairs, to my basement's bedroom.

I took a shower until way past dawn while I cleaned the blood from both my wounds and my tears. Because it was already day time, when I left the bathroom, I almost immediately laid on my bed and I died for the day, while hoping that Sookie would talk to me and be able to forgive me on the following night. However, those hopes didn't come true because when I woke up, I found myself alone. They weren't at the house.

I immediately dressed and I went upstairs, looking for a note from Sookie. But I found nothing of the sort. What I did find, was emptiness where some of Sookie's things had been until that morning. I ran to Lizzie's and I found the same thing: no toothbrush, no favorite brown boots, no Teddy (Liz always slept hugging a Teddy Bear that her biologic father had given her when she was still a baby), no drawing book and no crayons. And there were also missing a few of Lizzie's preferred books.

And then, I just… screamed. I actually screamed almost in pain. No. Not almost. I screamed in pain because Sookie wasn't there and she had taken Liz with her. And I had probably lost them. But not one minute after it, I heard my cell-phone ringing in my basement room, so I immediately ran there, in hopes that it was Sookie calling me. But it wasn't.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Pam immediately asked when I clicked on the green button to accept her call. She had probably felt my pain when I realized that Sookie had packed some of her and Lizzie's things and had left me.

"I am," I managed to whisper.

"What happened? Where are you? Are you at home? Eric?" Pam asked at once. Yes, she had felt me and she was worried about me.

"It's Sookie," I said.

"What happened? Did she hurt you somehow? Is she okay?"

I sat on my bed and I curved my back while I put my elbow on my knee, so I could better support my own head. It was as if I had lost all of my strength. I then took a useless deep breath and I told Pam that I had just woken up, and realized that Sookie wasn't there. My child didn't understood why that would make me feel that way, so I told her that Sookie had taken some of her clothes with her, as well as Lizzie's. And that was when Pam started asking me question after question.

Firstly, she tried to make sure that I was really okay, and that the pain she had felt through our Maker/Child bond had "only" been an emotional pain. And when she was sure that I wasn't injured or bleeding somewhere, she started questioning me about why would Sookie leave. And I answered her everything between several unnecessary sights and deep breathes. I told Pam everything about Nat and what had happened on the two previous nights, and also about my talk with Sookie that ended with her plea for me to sleep downstairs.

Pam then speculated that maybe Sookie was only late and that she'd come home that night. But I told her, again, about the clothes she had taken with her. But more important than the clothes, it had been Lizzie's Teddy Bear and her much-loved crayons. If Sookie had taken those things, it meant that they weren't coming back that night. And so, I had to go to them.

I immediately told Pam that I had to end that phone call because I needed to speak to Sookie, and I was going to try her cell right at that very moment. However, Pam proceeded to try to convince me to wait one more night. I insisted that I wouldn't, that I couldn't, wait another night. But she said that I should give Sookie time.

"Sookie's not that same twenty-something girl that ran away 13 years ago Eric," Pam said to me, "she's a woman and she has responsibilities now. She has Lizzie, and she won't run away with a child. Even if you two would never be together again, I know that Sookie wouldn't keep Liz away from you. Hell, she wouldn't even keep her away from me. We're family now, Eric."

"But she took Lizzie's four favorite books too," I stubbornly answered. And she had. Sookie had taken Margaret Wise Brown's "Goodnight Moon", and "Pat the Bunny" and "Pinkalicious", as well as "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". And those were exactly the four books that Liz kept asking for us to read over and over again. We were always trying to find new stories and new books for her, but Lizzie loved those four the most. And just the thought that I might never read to her ever again terrified me. So why would Pam tell me that I shouldn't go after Sookie when all my body was screaming at me to just forget Pam's advice and run after my family?

"I'm not saying that she didn't leave. If she took all those things, then she probably did. But if she did, I'd bet that it will only be for one night or two. And you should give her time to clear her mind and think calmly about everything that you've told me," Pam answered.

"Pam, I love her," I said. It was the first time that I was openly telling Pam that I loved Sookie. Pam knew of my feelings, of course. For one, they were evident whenever I was close to Sookie. And secondly, Pam could also feel it. So there was no need for me to tell Pam that. But somehow, saying it out loud, to someone else, almost validated my feelings, and I just felt the need to say those words to Pam.

"I know, Eric. But I'm guessing that she doesn't want to see your face at the moment. If she did, she'd be there. So if she went away, you must respect her feelings. Eric, for her a kiss is cheating as well. And you hurt her when you kissed Natércia."

"I didn't mean to. And Sookie must see things that way," I almost screamed at the phone. And then, my tone of voice dropped immediately when I whispered, "Sookie must forgive me."

"Both Bill and David cheated on her and…"

"I am not like them," I said interrupting Pam, almost screaming again.

"I know. And Sookie does too. You just have to give her some time to think, Eric. I really think that you shouldn't try to go after her, nor even call her. Let her be, and she will come back as soon as she realizes that you both love each other," she answered. And when I didn't reply to her, Pam added, "Listen, if tomorrow, when you wake up, she hadn't called nor gone back home, then you call her. But now… just give her tonight. I'm sure she'll make the correct decision."

And you know something? I guess that the lack of strength that I had felt before was still in me, because I even lacked the strength to keep arguing with my own child over the telephone. So I just told Pam that I would give Sookie 24 hours before I went after her and that I would stay the whole night at home, hoping for Sookie to come back.

And that was when Pam asked me if I thought that Natércia might go after Sookie. I had wondered about it too. But I knew that Nat wouldn't try to harm Sookie. I was sure that Natércia didn't have anything against Sookie, only against me. The family of an alcoholic wouldn't go to the liquor store and destroy all bottles there. Instead, they'd try to convince him to stop drinking. And I knew that Nat's take on my feelings for Sookie were just as similar.

"No," I answered Pam, "I'm sure Nat won't harm either Sookie or Liz. Well, at least not yet. But I'll have to talk to Nat soon, and then she might. But not for the time being."

"Will you meet Natércia tonight?"

"No. I'll give her until tomorrow night to calm down, just as you suggested that I do with Sookie. We must all calm ourselves," I said.

And after a few more minutes into our conversation, we ended the phone call after I promised Pam that I didn't need her there at home, with me. I then left my depressing basement bedroom, and I went upstairs. I left the house and I called for Nike, who was in the garage. I checked that he still had food and water in his bowls and then I did something against the rules (because Nike wasn't allowed to sleep inside the house) when I brought him inside with me. I then sat on our living room couch, with Nike on my lap (thank the Gods he was there), and I stared at a switched-off television for the next three or four hours. My only movements were those to check over and over again if my cell-phone had any message from Sookie.

And I just sat there, thinking. And I thought about the time when I didn't call her (for months) after Victor's coup. And also about when I let her leave the hospital alone after Compton told her about Lorena and Sophie-Ann. And I thought about all those other times when I left Sookie alone. And how, one way or the other, she had always come back to me. I remembered Sookie's phone-call from Cleveland the night after I had come back to Shreveport after warning her about the fairies. She had asked me to stay away, but then she had called me and had told me that she loved me. And eventually she had asked me to go back to her, which could be seen as her coming back to me, as well. And I could only hope that Pam was right and that Sookie would come back one more time. And bring Liz with her.

And then, all of a sudden, I heard it.

I immediately got up, I put a sleeping Nike on the floor, and I ran to the front door, because I had heard a car parking in our driveway. And as soon as I got to the door, I saw that it was Sookie's car. I sprinted to her and I opened her car door without even a second thought. But then, of course, I scared her because I had run there in my vampire speed and she hadn't even realized that I was there yet.

"Jesus Christ," she whispered as soon as she noticed that it was I that was there, "you scared me to death. What if I had screamed and Liz had woken up with her mom yelling for help? Or what if I had had a freaking heart attack? What then, Eric? What then? What would you have done if I had had a heart attack? What would you have done?" she said angrily, even though she was still whispering.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back at her. And I was sorry that I had scared her. Sookie had told me dozens of times before to not be that quick around her, but somehow I was always forgetting it. But at that moment, when I said that I was sorry, I didn't only mean that I regretted frightening her. I was telling her, all over again, that I was sorry for everything that I had done. And you know what? I was willing to bet that when she asked me what I would have done if she had had a heart attack, she was also asking me what I would have done if she hadn't come back. And so, I answered her as truthfully as I could when I added a second later, "I can't even imagine what I would have done without you, Sookie."

She then just stayed there, still sitting in the car, while I was standing next to the opened door, for a minute or two, until she asked me if I minded grabbing Liz and taking her inside. I wanted to start jumping up and down and giggling like a child, because of her question. Did I mind? I was fucking ecstatic that she had said it. And, without being able to hide my smile (even though Sookie was definitely not smiling… yet, I silently, and hopefully, added in my mind), I just went to the back of the car and I freed Lizzie from her car-seat and carried her inside while Sookie took a small suitcase and a big bag from the trunk of the car. I held on to Liz with my right arm, and I grabbed the bag with my left at the same time as Sookie brought the suitcase with her. We both immediately dropped the bag and the suitcase and we went upstairs towards Lizzie's room, where we left Liz sleeping peacefully.

When we left Lizzie's bedroom, Sookie walked towards the upstairs room and I followed her. But only until its door, because I then stopped, just as I would if I was on the door of a house that belonged to a human.

But suddenly Sookie realized where I was and she told me to get inside because we needed to talk. And that was what I did, right before we both sat on the bed.

I wanted to ask her where she had been and why she had taken the clothes with her. I wanted to grab her to prevent her from leaving again and taking Liz with her. I wanted to beg for her forgiveness and ask what I could do to start my atonement. I wanted for her to tell me if she would forgive me, or if she would run away again. But above everything else, I wanted to know if she still loved me. But, like the insecure teenager Sookie brought out in me, I didn't say a thing and I stood still. And I just waited for her to start talking. And eventually, she did.

"I'm not sure if I can forgive you, Eric. And even if I could forgive you, I don't know if I would be able to not resent you," she said and then she stopped talking. And I just didn't know what to answer her because I just didn't understand what she had meant. Did that mean that she would give me another chance? Or not? And why had she left earlier that night? Why had she taken clothes with her? It could only mean that she hadn't forgiven me and that she had intended to leave me. But then, why did she come back?

"Oh," I mumbled. Yes, I really didn't know what to answer her.

"And I think that to forgive you but to keep resenting you would be even worse than if we were to just end everything between us."

And I still didn't know what to say. Fuck! Was I stupid or what? I was watching my whole life disappearing in front of me and I couldn't even say a fucking word? I wanted to yell at Sookie that she had to give us another chance. She had to give me another chance. But I just couldn't. And so, I mumbled that same "oh" a second time.

"And I want to ask you a favor…" she whispered.

"Anything."

"Liz will be confused when she wakes tomorrow. I told her that we were staying at a hotel."

"You did?" I asked and she nodded. So she had intended to stay away. I wondered again why she had changed her mind. Why had she come back home? Don't get me wrong, that had been my wish the whole fucking night since I had woken up alone. But I was curious about her reasoning. "Why did you come back?"

"I was about to wake Liz so we could check in the hotel when I realized that it wasn't fair to make her leave her house that way. And you are her father now, so if or when we leave this house, she's entitled to say goodbye to you."

Fuck! Say goodbye to me? I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't even want to fucking think about it. "What's the favor?"

She sighted and then she said, "I'd appreciate it if we didn't see you tomorrow night." What? Was she serious? She had just said that I was Lizzie's father and now she was saying that she didn't want to see me? Luckily she had said "tomorrow". But I wondered if "tomorrow" would turn into next week, next month or even next couple of years. I was already plotting my next way to say how sorry I was when she continued talking, "I still need some time to think about everything Eric, so I was thinking that maybe you could sleep somewhere else? Or just... don't come up before Liz is asleep and I'm in my room…?"

And you know something? Even though it was impossible, I felt my heart stop beating and my lungs missing oxygen. It was as if I was dying all over again. She didn't want to see me? Then how would I ever manage to make her forgive me? Once again, I wanted to grab her and shake her and shout at her until everything was alright between us again. But instead I just nodded and I left her room after she whispered a very low "thank you".

And even though it was sill just a little over 11pm, I went to my basement room and I sat on my bed while I called Pam. I told her that Sookie had come back home with Liz, but that she had asked me to stay away for at least another night. And Pam, again, told me to give that time to Sookie before we ended our phone call. I then took my clothes off and I laid on my bed, feeling both sorry for myself and mad at myself at the same time, until dawn.

On the next night, I woke up and I could immediately hear Liz playing with Nike upstairs. I dressed but then I stayed in my basement bedroom and I focused on the sounds that I could hear from above me. And ten or fifteen minutes after that, I heard Sookie telling Lizzie that she should go and put Nike in the garage because it was night already, to which Liz just answered by asking her mother where I was if it was night already.

"He's… He's away working," Sookie answered.

"But is dad coming home tonight?"

"Why are you asking that again? I've already told you that your dad won't be here tonight."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Liz, we've talked about it already. And I still remember telling you that I don't know when your dad is coming home again. He has work to do away from here, and it might take some time until he comes back. You know that I'm sort of mad at your dad, so we decided that he should stay away, working, for a few days. " Sookie bluntly lied to Liz. I wanted to run upstairs and tell Lizzie that I was there with them and that I wanted to stay there with them for-fucking-ever.

But I didn't.

And I actually understood why Sookie was lying. No need to worry Liz about us before Sookie and I talked things through. I still remembered when Lizzie arrived home distressed because of what had happened between Helen's parents. And I obviously didn't want to upset my daughter before Sookie definitely said that she was done with me. I questioned myself if "sort of mad" meant that she was more inclined to forgive me or not. And I wondered how long "a few days" meant.

"That sucks," Liz immediately answered her mother with a harsh tone. I immediately wondered where she had heard that expression. Had it been Pam? Or maybe at school? Or the TV, perhaps?

And apparently, Sookie thought the same thing because she immediately asked, "Who taught you to say that?" And after a couple of seconds of silence, she added, with a stern tone voice, "Liz, I've told you. Don't you raise your shoulders and roll your eyes at me. I am your mother and I deserve your respect."

"I wanna know when dad will come home," Lizzie said with a demanding voice tone that I was sure was testing Sookie's patience, before she added, "When?"

"Liz, you go and you put Nike in the garage immediately. And then you'll go to your room. No TV for you tonight."

"I didn't want to watch the stupid TV tonight anyway," Liz said with the same challenging tone to her mother. I then heard the front door opening and closing and I guessed that Liz was at least respecting her mother and taking Nike to the garage.

But what was happening with my baby girl? She sounded more like a rebellious teenager than my sweet child. Was it my absence already? Was Liz afraid that Sookie and I would separate and was this why she was behaving this way? It pained me that what I had done was hurting not only Sookie but Liz as well. And I could only feel a desire to just scream my frustration into a big roar. But instead, I stood quietly in my bedroom.

Five minutes later, I heard the front door again and then Sookie told Liz to go brush her teeth and put her pajamas on because she was going to bed earlier that night because she had misbehaved towards her. Liz answered that she hadn't and that it an unfair punishment, but still she went upstairs with Sookie going after her.

A little over an hour later, I could hear steps again in the kitchen, as well as the water running in the sink and the fridge's door opening and closing for a while, before I heard Sookie's steps on the stairs again. She was going to the bedroom.

I took that as my cue to leave the basement and I went upstairs. I wanted to go to the bedroom's floor, but I decided that I'd stay in the living room for at least another hour before venturing and trying to at least catch a glance of both Liz and Sookie. But instead, it took me four hours to muster the courage to go upstairs.

When I entered the bedroom's hall, I passed through Sookie's bedroom and I saw her sleeping peacefully because the door wasn't completely closed. I wanted to go inside and hug her, but I didn't have it in me because… well, because I was afraid of her reaction if she was to wake up and see me there. And so I kept walking and I went to Lizzie's room. I stood there watching her sleep for half an hour before I couldn't stand anymore. Being so close to her and not knowing when I would play with my daughter again was too much and so I left her room to go to the basement again.

But then, when I was passing again through Sookie's bedroom (that had been our bedroom until recently), I heard her whispering my name. I immediately went towards the door, wondering if she was saying my name in her sleep… when a very awake Sookie told me to get in. Almost timidly, I went into the bedroom and I sat by her, on the bed, next to the bedside table.

"Nike slept in the living room last night," she whispered. And I almost wanted to laugh. From all the subjects that we had to talk about that night, Sookie had started with Nike. Like mother, like daughter, I guess.

"Yeah," I answered, still as speechless as on the previous night.

"Why?"

There was an evident trail of dried tears in her face and I immediately felt that I wanted to punch myself for what I had done. "I didn't want to be alone last night. Nor ever again," I said.

Sookie just sat there without talking for a couple of minutes, before she whispered: "Listen, I've asked before, but I must be sure of it. And, for the love of God, don't lie to me. Just tell me the truth: did you have sex with Natércia?"

"I did not. I swear that I did not," I said.

"But did you want to?"

It took me a few seconds, but then I started answering her, whispering my sorrow to her, "For a minute or two, I guess. Until I realized that I only want you that way, not her. But Nat and I… We have been together for too long, Sookie. My body reacted to hers, like it had reacted thousands of nights before. But as soon as I got my mind together, I stopped and I regretted it immediately."

"Do you… Do you think that you'll kiss her again?" she asked. And then, almost as an after-though, "Or anyone else for that matter?"

"No. I know that I won't," I immediately said. And I was completely sure of it.

Sookie looked at me and then she whispered, "For me a kiss is cheating as well, you know?"

"I do. And I'm sorry for what I did."

"I'm glad you told me the truth," she said.

"I had to be honest with you."

"If I had discovered it from someone else, I would never even consider giving us a second chance. I would have left and never come back."

"I only wish that there hadn't been anything to tell," I said.

Sookie then grabbed my hand and I felt hope growing inside of me, just because her hands were touching me. "Are you sure you still want me?" she asked.

"I'll always want you," I answered truthfully.

"It didn't look like it two nights ago. The way you behaved…" she then stopped talking as if the mere thought pained her. But… what was she talking about? I knew that it had to be something that had happened on the night when I first introduced Nat to Sookie and Liz. Oh… It must have been the reason why she had moved her face so I had only kissed her cheek and not her mouth. But I really hadn't noticed anything that night. And I still didn't. But if she wanted to talk about it, then we would. I would do anything that she wanted. Anything. And the fact that she was still holding my hand meant the world to me.

"What do you mean?"

"You… you…" Sookie took a deep breath and then she continued, "you told her about my blood and you touched her leg. In front of me."

I touched Nat? If I did, I hadn't paid attention to it. Like the kisses, it had probably only been some sort of muscle memory or something. But I understood her point about the blood, and I addressed it, "Sookie, she wanted me to taste a donor at the hotel. So I only explained to her that I wouldn't drink from anyone else other than you because I only craved your blood while everyone else's bloods seemed tasteless to me."

"Ohh…" She said and then she kept her silence for another minute, until she quickly asked: "Is that why you want me? Because you crave my blood?"

"No. I want you because I love you. Your blood is amazing, yes. But so is your smile, and the way you're a good mother, and your blond hair, and your telepathy, and your breasts, and your good-nature, and the way you kiss and so many other things. And I love all of that because I love you, Sookie," I answered. And I saw her blush a little bit when I talked about her breasts. But it was true. They were amazing. But, like I had said, so was the rest of her.

"Ohh…" she said again.

"As far as touching Nat… I don't know. And I'm sorry but I did not even realize it. I behaved with her just as I had done for many, many nights. But I understand now how that might have hurt you. And I can only promise you that it won't happen again. Not with her, not with anyone else."

"Okay," she answered. Up until then, her hands were only grabbing one of my hands, but at that moment she intertwined her fingers into mine. "Okay?" I asked hopefully.

She nodded at me and then she said, "But don't you ever do that again Eric! You disrespected me and you hurt me. You actually made me feel like I didn't matter at all. And on top of that, you kissed her."

"It will not happen again."

"I was very afraid that we weren't, or wouldn't or…," she paused to take a deep breath and then she continued, "I was very afraid that I would lose us. Actually, I still am."

"Me too." And I was. I had been since she had asked me to sleep downstairs two nights before.

"I'm terrified of losing you Eric."

"When I woke up yesterday, and neither you nor Liz were here… Sookie, it scared me like nothing before. And have been in too many wars in my life, already. But that moment when I realized that my family had packed and left… it was most terrifying moment of my life."

"Why… Why didn't you introduce me to her as your wife?"

"Because I know that you don't like when I call you that. You probably wouldn't deny it then and there, in front of another vampire, but you'd want to."

"I guess that… Well, it will probably take some time for me to completely forget what happened, Eric. And you must understand that this is a once-in-a-life-time thing. I won't forgive you again. This is your second chance, but believe me, there won't be a third."

"So you'll forgive me?" I asked, suddenly full of hope.

"I have to," she said while she slightly raised her shoulders as if she was saying "I have no other option".

"I love you," I told her. And I did.

"And I love you," she answered, before she added, whispering, "Oh God! I was so afraid that you would want her instead of me. I want us to be us again."

And then… she hugged me. She hugged me and we stayed like that for a few moments.

And I… I felt such a relief. She was hugging me. She was back in my arms. She had come back home. And I… I felt like I would be able to conquer the world, if I wanted, because of Sookie. Because Sookie had come back home. To me. To my arms, where she belonged.

And then I just hugged her back with as much strength as I could, without hurting her, of course. "I'm really so sorry that I kissed her back, Sookie. I swear that it didn't mean a thing to me. It felt wrong. I just want to kiss you and no one else. You're my wife," I said. And for what was probably the first time ever, she didn't answer me that our marriage wasn't real. She just stood there, hugging me and trying to stop the tears that had showed up.

A few minutes later, when she calmed down, she asked, "Will Natércia leave now?"

Well, that was a good question. I just didn't know its answer. I guess, with Nat, you never knew. She might be so pissed at me that she'd leave without a single word and she could be on her way to Canada at that precise moment. Or she might also pretend that nothing had happened at all and just meet me at one of my bars without speaking about our fight. Or, hell, she might even attack me, all of a sudden. Like I said, with Natércia, it could go either way.

"I don't know. I had intended to call her tonight, but I'll call her tomorrow and ask her to meet me so we can talk. By then, she'll have already had yesterday and tonight to think about what I told her, and calm down," I said.

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her the truth. I told her how much you mean to me and that you were my wife," I answered. And for a second time, she didn't reply that we weren't married and that "giving silverware does not constitute a marriage", as she always said. I wondered if Nat's visit would be the catalyst that would make Sookie accept the validity of our marriage.

"So, you'll meet her tomorrow?" she asked me, whispering.

"I'll call her as soon as I'll wake up and I'll see if we can meet tomorrow night, if she hasn't left for Canada yet," I said.

"Where will you meet her?"

"I don't know yet. I'll suggest here, perhaps. But I want you and Liz to spend the night at your brother's. He's back from his honey moon, right?" She nodded with an inquiring air on her face, so I explained, "I live here and she can enter this house. I'd feel better if you were somewhere else when I am talking to Nat... You know, just in case," Sookie kept looking at me with that same curious air on her face. I hoped she wasn't thinking that I wanted her gone because I wanted to fuck Natércia, and so I added, "I don't want either of you here because she might want to hurt you. I don't think that she will, but I'm not willing to take that chance. You and Liz are way too important for me to risk it. So, tell me, do you think you can stay in Bon Temps?"

"Yes, of course. We can stay at Jason's. But Eric, please don't fight her. We can move and run away if we have to. But don't fight her. I couldn't stand it if something happened to you."

Run away? I would never run from anything in my life. I had never run away before and I certainly would not start then. But why would Sookie think that we should run? She was seconds away from crying again and I had to prevent that, so I said, "Hey, hey. Stop that. Don't cry, please. And why are you saying that? She's my friend. We won't fight."

"You already did," she whispered.

"Yes, but it was just a disagreement between friends. We would never kill each other. I know it's a strange concept to you but Nat's really my oldest friend," I answered.

"Pam said that you've fought before, when you met her. And that Natércia won."

"But that was before we were friends. Sookie, I'll only talk to her, and explain again that you're my family now. And I'll tell her that she must accept your role in my life, or else, there won't be any place for her in my life. But one way or another, I have to talk to her. I can't let things be the way I left them two nights ago," I answered putting my arms around Sookie again. She felt so good in my arms.

And then, a few minutes later, I took off my shoes and my jeans and I lay in bed, hugging Sookie, while she hugged me back. And we stayed like that, in stillness and quietude, for two more hours. And I had never felt more grateful in my entire life.

I was thinking about how glad I was that I still had my family when Sookie (who I thought had already fallen asleep by then), broke the silence when she told me that she was sorry. But why would Sookie be sorry? I had been the one who had kissed another woman. Sookie had nothing to be sorry for. So I obviously asked her why.

"Because I complicated your life," she whispered. She had complicated my life? I almost felt like laughing at her. And if we hadn't had such a stressful couple of nights already, I think that I would have.

"I can handle it and you're worth everything," I said, smiling at her. Sookie had been a simple waitress in a small town before the vampires had entered her life. We had been the ones who set hurdles on her life… On the other hand, she had only brightened mine. I heard a sniffle from her and I knew I had to make it better. I had to somehow turn off her worries, and so I said, "Besides, I complicated your life as well, didn't I?" Her face left my chest and she looked at me, while I added, "Do you remember the maenad? How her attack on you was a message to me?"

She almost smiled and then she whispered, "I still have the scars on my back."

"And I love those little scars. I think they're sexy as hell," I answered. And then I saw her mouth forming the smile I was looking for. I was on the right path, so I insisted, "And do you remember Jackson? When in the middle of dozens of vampires, you, a human, were staked?"

"And you didn't leave me alone with all those people, despite the fact that you weren't even supposed to be there. You stayed with me," she said almost smiling again.

"I could never leave you," I answered honestly.

"And then we went to Russell's and you even took me up the stairs Rhett Butler style," she replied, sounding less sad and more herself.

"I did carry you up the stairs Rhett Butler style."

"And all that time I actually worried more that I would forget to call you by your bogus-name and that all those vampires would recognize you, than about my own wound. You really didn't look like a Leif to me," she said.

"And there you where: with a piece of wood stuck into you, but still worrying about my fake name. So, you see, I complicated your life too," she nodded to me. And there it was. A proper smile. But I wanted an even bigger smile from her, so I continued, "And let's not forget Dallas… You infiltrated the Fellowship of the Sun headquarters with one of them as your fake boyfriend," I added.

She finally gave me her big smile and said in a lighter voice, "That's right. I hated that you made me go there to find a missing vampire that I didn't care about. I really hated you back then."

I hugged her even closer to me. "You loved me already back then. You lusted for me since the first night we met when you went to Fangtasia asking about those dead fangbangers," I said, trying to bring back the playfulness between us.

"I did not," she said trying to sound insulted by my words.

"You did to," I insisted. Her eyes' expression was also lighter now. And I felt immediately better because she was feeling better.

She looked at me, smiled and said again in a mock-anger kind of way, "I did not."

"You ached for me ever since that first night you saw me," I replied.

"Eric Northman! I did not," she said with the same pretending-to-be-insulted tone.

"Then why did you kiss me after the Fellowship's attack during the party?" I teased her.

"I didn't kiss you. I was with Bill," she said looking at me. When I raised my eyebrow at her, she added, "You kissed me."

And she was right. I had kissed her. I had grabbed her face with both my hands after she had sucked a bullet from my chest and I had kissed her. But she had let me do it. She hadn't moved away from me, not a millimeter. And she had enjoyed my kiss. I had known it then, and I knew it now. And I also knew what to answer her at that point, "But you liked my kiss that night, even though you were still with Bill at the time."

I was going into some dangerous territory there, because I was talking about kissing one person when you're committed to another. But I saw it as an opportunity to tell her again that a kiss could either mean everything or nothing at all, depending on who you were kissing. She then changed her big smile, for a shy smile and whispered in a very timid and low voice, "I did like it."

"Can I kiss you now?" I asked with anticipation. And then, even before she answered me, she kissed me.

Minutes later, her sleep wear and panties were already on the floor next to my t-shirt and my boxers. And then we just laid there, naked, while we kept touching and kissing for a while. Sookie was extremely soft, tender and fragile. And especially now, after kissing and then fighting Natércia two nights before, I knew that I had to be careful with Sookie. And when I slowly entered her, and I felt her so hot and tight around me, I was absolutely sure that Sookie was the one I really wanted.

Being with Natércia… Having sex with her… It had been great, for so many years. Hell, centuries for that matter. Just as Pam was great and several other vampires, whom I had been with sexually in the past, had been great. But they were all cold. And even the humans I had fucked during my whole existence, they were all cold to me. Yes, even those humans with their warm blood, they were cold too; because they didn't mean a fucking thing to me. And at that moment, feeling my wife… warm, tight and wet, I felt that I was in Heaven. I belonged with her.

And you know what? In that same second, I had a feeling that everything was okay in the world, because Sookie was there with me. And if she had had it in her to forgive me, then we would be okay and if we were okay, then nothing else really mattered to me.

Moments later, she was whispering "faster Eric" over and over again, but I just kept my pace and I continued thrusting into her deeply, but slowly. I kissed her lips and her neck as if I was a dying man and she was my salvation. And I paid my usual homage to her breasts but I touched them tenderly that night. And I felt, deep down inside me, that she meant everything to me.

Her hands were still in my lower back urging me to speed my thrusts but I really needed to make love to her that night, not fuck her. A few minutes later she asked me to bite her. But I didn't. I couldn't. For me, Sookie meant so much more than her blood. She was my best friend, my family, my life. She had brought me back from the dead, not because of her blood, but because of my love for her. And so, instead of biting her, I just whispered in her ear "I love you Sookie Stackhouse" and she started almost quivering and convulsing, and be both came together.

Just seconds later, I smelled her tears bellow me.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked and tried to leave from above her.

But she prevented me, because she kept grabbing me while she said, "No. No. Stay there. I love to feel you on top of me."

"So why are you crying? Tell me, did I hurt you?"

She moved her head as if telling me no and then she answered, "I'm just happy that you love me."

"How could I not?"

Sookie then moved her arms back to my neck and made me drop my head towards her, so we could kiss. And that was what we did for a while. But then, she stopped our kisses to ask me, "Why didn't you bite me?"

I hoped that she wasn't feeling insecure about it, like two nights before when I had woken up with both her and Liz in my basement bedroom. But I feared that she might be thinking that I hadn't bitten her because I didn't love her. When in reality, it was quite the opposite! I hadn't bitten her because I loved her too much.

"Because tonight, I just wanted you and not your blood," I answered.

We stayed like that for a few moments but then we went to the bathroom and we showered. And even though we were showering together, we did it quickly with just a couple of kisses exchanged between us, because it was almost dawn.

A few minutes later, we were back on the bed and we laid there, while I spooned her. And that was when I heard her telling me that she loved me too. I tried to tell her the same, or at least, kiss her again, but the dawn's pull was too strong already and I couldn't move or say anything anymore. I could, however, still hear her next words, "But if you even touch Natércia again, let alone kiss her one more time, I swear to God that I will never forgive you Eric. And I give you my word, if you do, you won't see me or Liz ever again."

So? Any thoughts about the chapter? Did Sookie made him "suffer" enough? Was it too quick? Would you forgive a couple of kisses? And what about the sex scene? It was only the third time I wrote sexy-stuff…! :) I really hope that you've enjoyed the chapter. And thank you for reading. Célia

"In These Arms" is a song by American rock band Bon Jovi. It was written by Jon Bon Jovi, David Bryan and Richie Sambora. It was released in 1993 as the third single from the band's 1992 album "Keep the Faith". The chorus goes this way: "I'd hold you, I'd need you / I'd get down on my knees for you / And make everything alright / If you were in these arms / I'd love you, I'd please you / I'd tell you that I'd never leave you / And love you 'til the end of time / If you were in these arms tonight"