a/n: Time to try my hand at some angst writing!
Got my wisdom teeth out today so I'm talking like a Dracovish and only eating ice cream. I'm in so much pain rn
Sorry if this is bad: The painkillers are making me dumb
Here goes:
Apologies in advance to shippers who I offend
—-
Melemele Island: 03:41 AST (Alola Standard Time)
Ash was sitting alone under a tree near the beach watching his team play nearby, lit only by the bright light of the moon. The Alola League had just ended, and he was now officially a regional champion and had just taken down Professor Kukui right after.
He sighed contently, smiling watching his team spar on the beach. He really did love it here, and his pokemon were just one of the many reasons why.
Naganadel had just said goodbye to him a short while ago so now the team was just down to five.
But it didn't really matter, they were some of his strongest ever, and by far one of his more spirited teams.
There was Rowlet, the lovable and surprisingly tough grass type with an appetite for naps and packing a massive attitude problem.
There was Melmetal, Ash's rarest pokemon ever (supposedly he owned the only one ever to exist) who was just eager to unleash his power. Ash knew he'd be an asset one day if he kept training.
There was Lycanroc, Ash's tough and loyal rock type, one of the hardest workers Ash knew and the pokemon who won him his first pokemon league.
And finally, Incineroar. Ash had raised him faithfully from a Litten, and Ash was beyond proud of him. They worked so hard, and finally beat Professor Kukui and his Incineroar. Ash's Incineroar still had a long while to go before he mastered his power, but Ash knew it was simply a matter of "when" and not "if" he mastered his power.
He seriously loved each and every one of his pokemon as a parent loves a child, and Alola was no exception.
Speaking of parents, Alola also filled the longstanding void of a positive adult male role model in Ash's life. Or as some would say, a "father figure"
I mean he had Brock for a long while but let's be real, Brock wasn't exactly a positive role model.
The next best influence he had on his journey was James…..yeah a few positive interactions with the Team Rocket member were the crumbs of advice he received.
To be honest, Kukui had taught him so much that his friends never could. He was a better man after Alola, and Ash appreciated that. He had matured a lot.
But after the events of last night…..clearly not enough
Ash reflected on some other memories that Alola had brought him.
He had formed an incredible network of friends, not like he hadn't before but he never really was around such a large group so often.
There was Mallow, who always knew how to make anything fun and bring a smile to everyone's face.
There was Kiawe, the warrior with a burning heart who Ash helped make a better trainer.
And of course, Lana is kind on the outside and super tough on the inside. She had improved as a trainer so much while Ash was in Alola.
There was Sophocles, easily the smartest of the group, and always had some insight for Ash.
Finally, there was Lillie. The girl who Ash had spent the most time with in Alola, after that whole fiasco.
Ash sighed, thinking of her. He still felt horrible about yesterday. It was why he was here right now, and not at the pre-party before Lillie's going away party.
Pikachu ran over from the beach where the team was play sparring and looked up at him, and for once Ash almost saw….disappointment? Or some other emotion he didn't recognize In Pikachu's eyes. Maybe it was just the light outside.
Ash always wondered if Pikachu had favorites among his friends, because if Ash had issues with picking some above others, Pikachu would, right?
Pikachu looked at Ash concerned. "Pika Pi?" asked his loyal companion
Ash shook his head, "I'm fine buddy, go and have fun on the beach with the others,"
Pikachu looked at Ash slightly concerned before he went off towards the rest of his team.
Ash sighed, this really wasn't how he wanted to end his time in Alola but he didn't know how to fix it.
What he needed right now, was some good old fashioned-
Ash's thoughts were interrupted by a massive tree crashing down and a scream.
Ash got up and bolted towards the danger.
"I swear to all the Tapus, if Team Rocket is pulling-" Ash muttered as he ran towards the noise
However, when he got to the newly created clearing, there was no Team Rocket.
Only a girl about his age with a Blaziken and a Clefable next to a Glaceon and a- wait a minute! He knew her!
"May?" Ash yelled
"Ash?" The burnette replied, clearly confused
"Wait, hold on. Why are you here?"
"I….I'd rather not talk about it. Why are YOU here? Shouldn't you be celebrating your league win?"
"Wait, you saw my battle? Why didn't you say anything?"
"I got here earlier today and I saw a local TV station interviewing you about your win,"
"Oh, well….how'd I sound?"
May smiled, "You sounded great Ash, like a real champion if you ask me,"
Ash beamed, "Thanks May,"
May sat down on a nearby rock, "So, what brings you to this lonely beach at three in the morning right after you won, shouldn't you be asleep?"
Ash turned his head towards her, "I could say the same for you! What brings you halfway across the world and of all places in Alola, here!"
May sighed, "Like I said, don't really wanna talk about it,"
Ash nodded, "Same here,"
A silence emerged between the two old friends. Not awkward however, just comfortable.
Pikachu and the rest of Ash's team were talking quietly with May's Blaziken and Glaceon.
"Your team looks very strong Ash, I can see how you won that league. But, I only see five…did you have a 6th pokemon?"
"Yeah, I had a very rare pokemon….it's basically an alien from another dimension," Ash explained
"So like Deoxys kinda?" May asked, not even surprised Ash had landed such a partner
"Yeah, but really friendly," Ash clarified
"Why isn't he out right now?" May questioned
"He needed to go back home to where he belongs, sometimes the best place for a pokemon isn't always with you,"
"Yeah, kinda like Misty's Togetic," May pointed out
"Exactly," Ash agreed with her
Another silence emerged between the two. May gazed up at the Alolan stars, while Ash stared at Melmetal and Blaziken sparring.
"What type of pokemon is that!" May asked, pointing at Melmetal.
"It's name is Melmetal, and to be honest we don't really know much about it. Only that it's really tough. Mine is the first and only recorded member of its species,"
May didn't know how to respond to that, so she elected with a simple "Woah,"
"Hey May?" Ash asked
"Hmm," May turned her gaze towards Ash
"Can you do me a favor?" Ash asked in a tone that May hadn't heard from Ash….ever. He sounded almost….nervous? Not like before a battle, nervous, but nervous as in uneasy.
"Sure," May said calmly
"So….a friend of mine might be having some girl problems," Ash said nervously
May smirked, this was new. Since when did Ash care about the love life of his friends? He was either jealous, or….that friend didn't exist.
"Well, does this so-called friend of yours need advice?" May asked
"Yeah," Ash said, even more nervous than before.
May could tell from his tone that he was the one in need of advice.
"Hmm, well alright. Shoot,"
"Well, he maybe spent a lot of time with a girl, and then…maybe said girl kissed him, and now he doesn't know what to do," Ash said sheepishly
"Oh!" May said surprised
May was thinking to herself, "I haven't seen Dawn since she visited Ash in Unova, just what the hell was she thinking! We had an agreement!"
*3 years ago*
—-
May and Dawn were sitting together on a park bench. May would leave early the next morning, but she couldn't sleep. Evidently, neither could Dawn.
The two sat together in comfortable silence until May broke it.
"You like him, don't you,"
At first, Dawn played dumb.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Dawn said
May just stared at her.
"Okay, fine. Maybe a little,"
May kept on staring.
"...Fine. I have a huge crush on him,"
May smiled at Dawn, "It's alright, I was, or…maybe still am the same way,"
Dawn turned and looked at May surprised, "Then why haven't you done anything about it? You've known him for years!"
"I… it's for a few reasons. At first, he was such a role model to me. He showed me the ropes of being a trainer and I really appreciated that. We had our fights, but we always made up and I knew he cared. And we just spent so much time together, so many hours on the road eventually I realized I was head over heels for him when Misty visited and seeing her dynamic with Ash I felt almost jealous. But after thinking about it, I realized that it came from my feelings for him. As for why I never acted, I guess I never wanted to hurt our friendship, and honestly I felt like it would distract both of us from our goals, and finally, I was just scared. I mean I'm only fourteen also, having a real boyfriend isn't really a huge priority right now. And knowing Ash, he'd end up leaving eventually and I couldn't do long distance with him,"
Dawn nodded slightly melancholy from how similar her and May were, "I guess. But…. I don't wanna give up on him!"
May smiled, "You don't have to. One day he'll stop adventuring, and if you are both single who knows what could happen. But for now, promise me this. You shouldn't make a move on Ash while you guys are still out on your adventures. You're too good of a coordinator to center your whole career around Ash's traveling patterns,"
Dawn smiled, "Deal. But same goes for you missy! We're both becoming top coordinators! No distractions!"
May laughed, "You're on!"
—-
May shook her head, there was no way Dawn would do that.
She knew Ash was in Unova for a while, and Kalos after that, but if anything the region where he became a champion he's bound to have found love. In a way she almost felt happy that Ash finally had someone, and she could move on. She only hoped that Dawn would also.
"So tell me the story,"
"So my friend really helped this girl through a lot, and they spent tons of time together. They were great friends, but one night when they were alone the girl decided to kiss him. My friend didn't know how to react, but he knew he didn't feel that way about her. So, he tried explaining it to her, pretty badly and she ended up crying. He tried to comfort her, but she pushed him away and ran off towards their mutual friends. I haven't spoken to anyone sinc- oh no."
"I haven't?" May said with a raised eyebrow
Ash, realizing he was busted, started pleading with her, "May please don't judge me!"
"Ash come on, you think me of all people is gonna judge you!"
"But….I really messed up!"
"Ash. Shut up. You did nothing wrong. Please just give her time. You did nothing wrong by rejecting her, but she needs space. In the meantime, tell me about her,"
"Her name is Lillie, I helped her overcome her fear of touching pokemon and we became really good friends over my stay in Alola. I just never knew she felt….that way….about me,"
"How did you know you didn't feel that way about her?"
"She wasn't my first kiss and it didn't feel as special as that one,"
"Ash, a Latias doesn't count, we've had this discussion before," May rolled her eyes remembering their childish argument
"No. Her name was Serena," Ash said seriously
May's body froze. She recognized that name, Max mentioned the family seeing her perform in a contest recently.
"Oh, woah. Tell me more,"
"Uh uh! Not related," Ash said, shaking his head
May relented with one one advantage she had on Ash, "Fine! I'll tell you why I'm here, then you spill,"
"Alright, deal," Ash nodded
"Well, I had a horrible season in Sinnoh. I didn't make the grand festival, and it was humiliating. It's like I regressed as a coordinator, and that makes me so mad and I-,"
Ash cut her off, "Sometimes, our greatest failures come before our greatest successes. My worst region ever was Unova, I had fine friends and had a team more than capable of success, but I myself wasn't in it. I made silly mistakes and it cost me. I was down in the dumps, but I came back stronger in Kalos. And at that point, it was my greatest run ever!"
May smiled, "Sometimes you really do give the best advice…..I guess I just came to Alola for a vacation and to take a break from the coordinator world,"
Ash nodded, "Well, stay all you want. It's a beautiful region and it's becoming my second home,"
May looked at Ash, "So explain this Serena girl,"
"Well, we traveled together in Kalos. She was just…different, she was a rookie like you, and ended up falling short of her goal of becoming the Kalos Queen at the very end, but she was just…different, we never fought on the road, she took care of me when I got sick, and even dressed up as me to battle in my place as weird as that sounds. She was….okay fine I sorta found her pretty,"
"So why'd she kiss you?"
"I guess I didn't notice it at the time, but another kid I traveled with informed me that she was dropping massive hints at me for months on end and I didn't get the message. I guess eventually she got so fed up that she kissed me before she left,"
"Did you like it?"
Ash was quiet for a moment, "… yeah, yeah I did,"
"So are you guys dating?"
"No. I haven't talked to her since we kissed, and honestly it's been eating me up honestly. I'm going to soon though, my next destination in a few weeks is the Hoenn Grand Festival,"
May felt tinges of jealousy curling up in her, but she had seen this day coming years ago. If anything, she was just happy he found someone who made him feel like this.
She decided she needed to come clean.
"Hey Ash,"
"Hmm,"
"I….I used to have a crush on you," May confessed
"I know," Ash stated
"Oh, wait WHAT! HOW!" May was shocked that he KNEW! Ash was supposed to be dense!
"After my friend Bonnie told me what those hints were, I realized that you and Dawn used to do some of those same things around me. The reason Lillie surprised me so much was how none of those signs applied, it was out of nowhere! I guess I wanna apologize also, because for a little bit I also had a tiny crush on you for a while. But, I guess it sorta faded because when I saw you again in Sinnoh I didn't feel as strongly," Ash admitted
May just stood there in silence, dumbfounded noticing she was closer to Ash then before. She decided to do something incredibly dumb.
She leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips.
He didn't fight back. Instead embracing her and leaning in.
After a moment, they separated.
"For what could have been," May whispered
Ash nodded, "Yeah, maybe in some other world,"
May nodded, "But not this one. You have your person out there…..and I….well, I'll be alright, as Dawn says no need to worry,"
Ash looked at her, "So what should I do now?"
"In the morning, you're going to explain your whole situation with Serena to this Lillie girl so she's able to sleep at night, and then you're going to go to Hoenn and figure things out with Serena," May explained
Ash smiled at her, "Thanks May,"
May smiled back, "For what it's worth Ash, you're an amazing guy,"
Ash suddenly changed the topic, "How about a battle! I bet you've never seen a Z Move!"
May rolled her eyes, typical Ash.
—-
Later….
It was a nice day outside, typical Alolan beauty.
However, a not so fun event would have to happen. Lillie and her family were leaving for an adventure to go and find Mohn.
And the friend who she admired the most was nowhere in sight.
Lillie looked around sadly by the Pokemon School one last time.
It was a beautiful sunrise, and she had seen it a thousand times before. But it would be a long while before she would see another one.
And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't take her mind off of "him"
Last night she had made a huge mistake, she was just feeling a little nervous, and emotions were running high after her crush had won a league. She figured he'd be in a good mood and with her leaving soon it was now or never to shoot her shot.
She pulled him aside to an empty room and after making smalltalk for a moment she kissed him.
That was also her first kiss. And of course, she made it awkward. Poor Ash was caught off guard, and tried explaining why he couldn't.
"Lillie, I'm flattered but I'm so so sorry, but I- I," she remembered Ash saying to her
Lillie broke down in tears and ran out of the room.
Ash ran away after, likely fearing that Lillie would tell Gladion, which she never did.
She needed closure, she knew she couldn't ever have the relationship she daydreamed of in class one too many times. But, she couldn't go on without an answer as to why he was saying no.
Was there some other girl? Did he just not find her attractive? Was he gay? She had to know.
Lillie kept watching the sunrise before she heard some footsteps behind her.
Lillie audibly gasped.
It was Ash, and he looked tired.
She remembered telling him that she liked to watch the sunrise here, almost a hidden invitation.
"Hey," Lillie said nervously
"Hey," Ash replied
The two sat in a very awkward silence before Ash finally broke the silence.
"I'm sorry about last night,"
Lille shook her head, "No, I am. I crossed a boundary and I'm deeply sorry. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me,"
Ash smiled, "Of course Lillie, you're a friend of mine. You always will be,"
Lillie smiled back, "Thanks Ash, that means a lot to me,"
Ash sighed, "I do owe you an explanation however, it's not fair of me to never tell you why I don't….feel that way, a good friend told me I needed to say something so here I am,"
Lillie just nodded, clearly nervous as to what he'd say
"Almost a year ago when I was going on an adventure through Kalos, I met this girl….her name is Serena. I traveled with her all across Kalos and she…..she really cared for me. And eventually, when we were at the airport she kissed me goodbye. After doing some reflection on my time in Kalos, I realized that I had also fallen for her. I haven't seen her since that day in the airport, but I…I can't see myself with anyone else in this world, I'm sorry,"
Lillie nodded, "If she makes you happy Ash I'll support you two 'till the ends of the earth,"
Ash smiled
Lillie followed up, "Just….please make sure she takes care of you, I want you to be happy,"
Ash nodded, "Thanks Lillie,"
Ash hugged her, "Thanks Lillie, you made Alola amazing,"
Lillie just held Ash close, "You'll always be special to me Ash, just know that no matter where you are, I'll have your back. And maybe even Gladion also,"
Ash laughed at that last remark.
"Come on, let's get some Malasadas before you leave!" Ash said with his stomach growling
Lillie smiled and got up, following Ash down the hill- much happier then she arrived.
—-
Five Months Later…
"Goh! Ash! Hurry up!" Chloe shouted as two boys ran towards a departing boat
"Sorry we took so long Chloe! Ash battled Wallace and I caught an Altaria!" Goh yelled excitedly
"Yeah! Wallace was super strong but I did it!" Ash stated happily
Ash turned his head towards a girl clearing her throat and almost gasped.
There she was.
Serena smiled at Ash, causing him to beam back at her.
Ash looked at Goh and Chloe, "Hey guys, I'll catch you later. I have something important to catch up on,"
Goh was confused, "Ash, wait you can't just-"
Ash cut him off, "I have Dragonite, I can catch up. Don't worry,"
Chloe motioned at Serena and Ash nodded. Chloe smiled, not even surprised that they knew each other.
As the boat pulled away, the two friends waved goodbye at Ash and Serena, who had still yet to talk.
Finally, as the sun set behind them Ash turned towards Serena
"So, you got a few?" asked Ash
—-
End part 1