Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other anime or movie referenced here.

Hey guys thanks for the reviews and the support you give to this story.

Sorry for the late update but it's a bit difficult to type using the onscreen keyboard. My keyboard malfunctioned so I bought an external one and it suffered the same issue. A few essential keys like the vowels are not working so you can imagine what a pain it is to type. I tried every solution online and nothing worked. So my updates will be very slow until I find a way to fix this.

Anyway let's get going with the show.

Chapter 30

Previously

"Why is he way cooler than us when we were genin. This sucks" Tobirama said with Minato agreeing.

"I hate to break your pity party but I would like you to cough it up please" D Naruto said as he appeared in front of thin air scaring the hell out of the Kage and Kushina. All were thinking 'How the hell did he do that with so little chakra?'

"What are you talking about?" Minato asked as he took a defensive stance.

"Kurama's other half he wants it back if you don't mind" D Naruto said all the while not to threatened by the Kage in front of him.

"Who the heck is Kurama?"

Now

The situation was tense as Minato faced the man in front of him. His special kunai was already in his hand as he prepared himself. The other 2 Kage decided to watch so they could decide what to do. But from what they could tell this man was not what he seemed. He seemed weak but the feat he just pulled said otherwise.

Kushina on the other hand jumped to her husband's side to support him if this man decided to do something. She had an idea what the man was talking about and Minato sure as hell knew since that name was mentioned a few times.

But she was conflicted and she didn't know why. One side she wanted to help her husband but another side wanted to stay out of things. This other feeling started when she first saw the other Naruto look alike. She couldn't explain it but she felt that she wanted to know who this man actually was.

"Dude I am not stupid. I know you know who Kurama is. I said his name when came here. So why don't you just give me the other half and we will live it at that" D Naruto said not too threatened the KI projected at him. These days nothing scared him at all, well except his wives of cause.

"No I am not going to just give you the other half of the 9 tails. We have had problems with people of your kind always trying to use tailed beasts as weapons. We won't give you the 9 tails. I think this is why you got close to my son so you could take the tailed beast within him" Minato snarled.

He was not going to give the 9 tails to this stranger. No way in hell. Over his cold dead body….. Okay wrong phrase. The stranger could actually do it since Minato was well dead and cold hehehe.

The other Kage who also had an idea of who the stranger was talking about prepared to fight. They were not going to let another Madara run around with the 9 tails. They both flared there chakra to try and intimidate the man who just shrugged it off.

The stranger then went to Naruto who was still holding down Shukaku making the others tense.

"Yo I am going to need those two imprints and give them to their respective creators so you don't have to rant at them again" Naruto just nodded as he felt a tingly sensation as D Naruto pulled Minato and Kushina's chakra imprints from him in the form of two blue orbs. Well this will save him the time of ranting at them gain.

Minato and Kushina seeing D Naruto taking something from Naruto thought that he did something horrible to their boy so they attacked. A pair of golden chains was send straight at D Naruto while two tri-pronged kunai were heading his way as well.

Before they could even reach D Naruto, he disappeared and appeared between the zombie couple shocking them and the other two Kage who could only watch as the man plunged the two orbs into the couple. At first nothing happened then the couple just went blank as their consciousness was forcibly pulled into their inner worlds. From there they were going to have very interesting conversations with their imprints.

"What did you do to them" Tobirama asked practicing caution. Attacking recklessly would be very bad for them especially since they saw what he could do and they weren't even at full power.

"I just gave them the chakra imprints that they sealed into their son. Just recently the boy met the imprints and let's just say it didn't go the way they expected. Right now they are having a nice little chat and hopefully when they are done they will have a new outlook" D Naruto said as he looked at the couple. He was tempted to eavesdrop on the conversation but he had more pressing matters.

"So you are really going to release the Kyuubi" Hashirama asked. The thought of having the Kyuubi run free send shivers down his spine. That creature was a creature of destruction, a walking natural disaster. It should remain locked away.

However, after what he just saw a few moments ago he was not so sure anymore.

"If you are worried about him causing havoc then don't worry. He is a nice guy once you get to know him" D Naruto said. He could feel their emotions and he could sympathise with them. But their short sightedness is what led Kurama to being the way that he is.

If they tried anything well it won't end well for then. Legends or not he will beat them black and blue. Well time to unseal the other half. He did ask permission from the Shinigami to remove the seal. He could remove it but the Shinigami was his friend so it wouldn't be good to hack your friend's stuff.

With Kurama

Entering Gaara's mind he couldn't help but wince as he saw the damage done by the drug. The whole mindscape was almost black except for the part that Shukaku and probably Gaara were at. He could see that Shukaku had erected a sand barrier which was holding. If Shukaku dealt with this earlier he wouldn't be in this mess. Lazy good for nothing sand racoon dog rat thing.

Okay so may be Naruto was right when he said that the Sage of Six Path was high, very high, when he created them. Honestly a kid can do better than the crap they look like. Well he liked his looked except for the bunny ears of course.

Slowly tracking to where his idiotic brother was Kurama grunted in annoyance when he felt the drug trying to latch on to him too. Releasing a small bust of chakra the area he was standing on was riveted back to its sandy self. So walking forward he created a path to the barrier.

He then rose to his full height and peeked inside the barrier from the top.

"Yo Shukaku what's up" Kurama cheerfully greeted his brother finding it amusing to see the annoyed look on his younger brother's face. His grin widened when he saw Shukaku's imaginary eyebrows twitch in annoyance (does Shukaku even have eyebrows?).

"Oh hello Kurama, have you come to gloat. As you can see I am kinda busy at the moment" Shukaku said with annoyance rolling off of him. He then grunted a bit as he pushed the corruption away.

Gaara and his mother looked shocked to see another tailed beast in the seal. And they don't look like they are in the best of terms. Are they going to fight at a time like this? What would happen to her son if they fight?

"If you want me to go I can just go and sit over there and watch since you are doing such a great. To think I was going to help you too. What a waste of time." Kurama said sarcastically as he pretended to walk away.

Shukaku looked confused. What the heck was Kurama talking about? Was he really here to help or was he just lying? After all Kurama was too damn egotistic to help others without gloating at how great he is.

"Who was that?" Gaara's mother asked.

"Oh that's my egotistic older brother" Shukaku replied with even more annoyance. Gaara's mother then did something no normal human would ever do. She asked a freaking Bijuu for help. Well he did say that he came to help.

"Wait Mr 9 tails. Can you please help us?" she asked as she humbled herself with what sounded like desperation mixed with hope in her voice.

Kurama came backed and looked at the woman who bowed herself in respect to the great beast much to the surprise of both Kurama and Shukaku. This woman really was crazy to ask a Bijuu for help. But every mother would do crazy things for the sake of her children. So this is what a mother's love is.

"You know you are one of the few curious humans I have ever met. I was going to do that anyway. I have neglected my duty as an older brother for far too long. Beside our older sister will murder me if I don't" Kurama said as he went through a few Bijuu hand seals before performing his jutsu.

"Bijuu arts: Purge" he let loose a massive amount of chakra that began to purge the drug while fixing the damage done. This left Gaara's mother very happy that her son was going to be okay and that she was not going to disappear. Shukaku however was a different story.

He was shocked at what his brother had said and done. This wasn't the Kurama he knew. The one he knew was to sum him up, an asshole. What the hell happened to him to cause such a drastic change? Wait did he say older sister? But they don't have one.

"Oi Kurama what do you mean older sister? You are the oldest" Shukaku asked.

"Well we do now. She came here recently. She will pay you visit so please do your best to piss her off okay little bro" Kuramasaid in arather creepy manner. 'And you will suffer the way I suffered hehehe'

Shukaku was confused by what his brother said but shrugged it off. "So how have you been being the one first to be sealed?"

"Pissed if you must know. I was stuck in two annoying redheads and the second one had me chained to a moon for years. Do you know what it did to my back" Kurama ranted as he showed them an image of him being chained up. They all winced even the emotionless Gaara.

"Damn and here I thought being stuck in a teapot was worse" Shukaku said.

"But I gotta say my container is good. I mean I didn't think a human would befriend me (well big sis did kick my ass before the befriending happened but Shukaku doesn't need to know that). And he kicked your other half's sandy ass too hahaha" Kurama laughed as he dodged angry swipes from an embarrassed Shukaku.

The two then engage in a game of cat and mouse as Shukaku started chasing Kurama around having forgotten to use the sand in the mindscape. By the end of the chase they were both laughing. Oh how the two brothers missed this. It was long overdue they got their act back together. Gaara and his mother just looked on at the scene with mild amusement.

"Those two look like they are having fun" Gaara's mother said as they watch the two play.

"Mother will I also be able to do that with my siblings?" he asked in his usual monotone voice devoid of emotion. But the mother knew better. Gaara also longed for that kind of relationship with his siblings.

"Yes honey, just give them a little more time"

After playing with Shukaku Kurama thought it was time to say goodbye to his brother and the other two. He also promised that Gaara will be well taken care of and that he knew a guy that could get Shukaku without killing the kid. Lastly

"By the way Shukaku I AM AN UNCLE NOW. So IN YOUR FACE. She is the cutest thing ever! You should see her man she will melt your heart" Kurama gloated as he faded away leaving a pouting Shukaku.

Outside

Shukaku began to crumble after Kurama purged the drug. Naruto dispelled his jutsu as he focused on finding Gaara in the rain of sand. Having found his friend falling head first he willed his tired body to perform a chakra enhanced jump catching his friend before landing just outside the pile of sand that was once Shukaku.

It was also by some strange coincidence that as soon as Kurama came out of Gaara, his other half was unsealed from the still unconscious Minato. Both beasts looked at each other then blinked a few times. They started making a few gestures which the other mirrored. It was so hilarious because some of the gestures were ridiculous.

It started with a simple wave of the hand then they started making faces. Then they went to dancing which ended by both beasts shacking their butts and tails. The other who were watching just sweat dropped. Who knew the 9 tails was this childish.

"Damn I look good" both said at the same time. From there the two started catching up while the resurrected Kage just watched in silence.

D Naruto made his way to his brother with a smile. He was so proud of the kid. He held his own against Shikaku and managed to save his friend. That's good. With the rate he is growing it will only take a few years to complete his training. After that it will be time to move on to the next Naruto. Man saying goodbyes would really suck.

"Good job kid nicely done. I am proud of you" D Naruto said causing Naruto to blush and scratch the back of his head in embarrassment. He was still not used to being praised like this.

"I have to say that was pretty impressive. To have such power and skill at a young age and carry yourself in humility is pretty rare. Most would be arrogant letting power get to their head. Also it's good to see that you cherish your bonds like this. Keep this up and maybe you can change our fucked up world" the 2nd complimented Naruto before he looked away after seeing the odd looks he was receiving from the others.

'Did he just compliment someone?' was the thought that ran through their heads.

"That was amazing young Uzumaki you were like super awesome. Before you mother wakes up please be my brother. I will show you all the cool spots in the afterlife" said a star eyed Hashirama (think of how Julius acts after seeing a cool spell).

Suddenly a shiver ran up Hashirama's spine as a golden chain wrapped itself around his ankle. From behind him a dark aura enveloped the place as Kushina freaking Uzumaki snapped out of her stupor after her mother senses sensed something wrong.

"Hashirama Senju, are you still trying to take my son away from me. And planning his afterlife too when he is still too young to even think about dying" the woman said in an eerie voice that scared Hashirama. The poor man was cowering in fear while Tobi-chan (I WILL MURDER YOU FOR CALLING ME THAT!) just smirked and wisely backed away.

"My son will be with me in the afterlife as we prank everyone. Right my boy? Even if they kick us out and send us to hell, we will prank everyone in hell until they kick us out" Kushina asked her son as she cackled. Both Narutos sweat dropped.

'But she is already planning for our afterlife' they thought.

Naruto's eyes widened when he found himself in his mother's embrace. The woman wrapped her arms around him and started apologising over and over. After her talk with her imprint who explained everything she understood what Naruto felt about the village. It also didn't help that D Naruto added in a few of Naruto's memories into the imprints.

Naruto didn't know what to do with this woman. He wasn't angry anymore but he still wasn't ready to call her mother. But he had a weak spot for crying women so he just rubbed her back telling her that it was okay. A little part of him though wished that she had survived, she seemed to be a lot of fun. Man all the mayhem and headaches they would cause.

That moment was interrupted when the two now chibified 9 tailed foxes barged in heading towards D Naruto.

"I am telling yah she is an angel" Yin Kurama said as they got to D Naruto.

"Dude I don't care how you do it but keep us separate but at the same time make sure that our chakra combine when he uses it. I heard that I am also an uncle so let me go and play with my niece!" Yang Kurama said. He really wanted to meet that sweet angel and also from what his other half said this family sound fun to hang around.

"Yah I knew this would happen so I took the liberty of making a seal beforehand. You will stay separate and the negative consequences will be nullified now ready for some fun" D Naruto said with a grin. It was at this time that they heard a scream and looked up to see a figure flying in the air.

"The fuck!"

A few moments ago with Orochimaru's fight (I didn't forget)

Orohi-pedo sorry I mean Pedo-maru I mean Snake-fest…. you get the idea, was hard pressed. He was fighting his former sensei and team mate after all. Although his sensei was old he was still powerful and add Jiraiya into the mix and you got a recipe for his demise.

From the start he was fighting a defensive battle as his enemies showed good teamwork. His kenjutsu was countered by the 3rd's bojutsu. Jiraiya was there to neutralise his ninjutsu and with Orochimaru having wasted a lot of chakra summoning those zombies of his before they were snatched away he was low on chakra.

His zombies had decimated his invasion forces inside the village and his forces outside were also defeated. The sand brat was also defeated by the two kages (he assumed since they went there). Right now it was him and his sound 4. Kabuto was still snooping around to help them if they get captured.

Overly his invasion plan had failed spectacularly.

Right now he was breathing heavily his clothes ruined but he was fine because he used his creepy jutsu to shed his skin a lot of times. His opponents were relatively okay with a few wounds none of which were inflicted by his Kusanagi much to his frustration. They were avoiding his sword like a plague.

"Well that was entertaining" came a voice from their left side. They all jumped back to see a Naruto look alike seating on an ice chair eating ramen. When the heck did he get here and why didn't they see him. How the heck did he bypass the barrier? lamented the poor ANBU outside.

"Naruto?" the 3rd asked.

"Nope I'm his brother. Anyway that was fun but you should wrap things up. Before you do, Orochimaru, are you really afraid of dying that much?" he asked.

Orochimaru growled at the question. How dare he insinuate that he, Orochimaru was afraid of death? That was ludacris.

"I'm not afraid of dying. I just find the concept of immortality fascinating. Think of all the jutsu I can collect and master with all that time I will be unstoppable kukuku" Orochimaru said while thinking of an escape plan.

"Whatever you say. Let me give you a piece of advice. What's born in this world dies eventually. There is no true immortality were you can live forever. Long life yes that's possible but not living forever. I mean look at those Jashinists. Only one is left and they were considered immortal. The Shinigami doesn't take too kindly to people who cheat death. Piss him off and he will send people like me to end you"

'People like him? Who the hell is he?' were the thoughts that ran through the heads of those in the barrier.

"Whatever when I get strong I will beat even the Shinigami's dogs" Orochimaru said arrogantly. D Naruto just shook his head. This man way too egotistic to listen to reason and he had filled his head with delusional ideas that he can rule the world.

"So says the man that lives in a series of underground bases afraid to live like a normal person. Instead you chose the mole life. Dude you have so much potential to do good in this world and yet you choose to cause pain to others. I mean you could be called Doc Orochimaru (or Doctor S from All Hail King Julian) by a lot of grateful people.

I feel sorry for you when the heavenly council decide enough is enough, no hole or super power will be enough to save you. Anyway I have said enough. If you would please hurry up and shit yourself that would be swell" D Naruto said while pulling out a camera and started recording.

"What are you talking about?" Orochimaru said before he was interrupted by a loud growl coming from his stomach.

"You know you made a rookie mistake Orochi. Never ever drink tea in enemy territory" D Naruto said with a smirk. Orochimaru thought for a moment before realisation hit him like a ton of bricks. He was the one that served them tea! However

"The tea was poisoned wasn't it? Clever but just one thing. I am a master when it comes to poisons. I am immune to all forms of GRRROOOOWWWW!" Orochimaru's monologue was cut off by a loud growl followed by what sounded like liquids mixing and moving in random directions. All coming from his stomach.

"Oh boy here we go again" the 3rd said as he backed away. This looked familiar to the Danzo murder fart incident. And this one looks much worse. Jiraiya seeing his sensei backing away did the same although he was wondering why.

"I am immune to poisons you fool FAAAARRRRTTTT" Orochimaru let loose a big one right off the bat. This one made his whole body tremble and vibrate blowing his garments with the amount of air he was letting out involuntarily. He felt like his insides were on fire and his bowels were being overloaded. Funny thing he didn't eat much and yet he felt like shitting a bucket load.

There were a lot of not so subtle snickers floating around even from the Sound 4. You don't get to see the person who scares the crap out of you farting that loud in the middle of a battle and making a 'I want to shit so bad' face and keep a straight face.

"Orochimaru-sama are you alright?" one of the sound 4 asked in concern.

"Shut up and keep holding the barrier FAAAARRRRTTTT" everyone looked at Orochimaru oddly while rapidly blinking.

'Okay this is worse than Danzo. That's one heck of a fart' thought the 3rd.

'What the fuck. Is this really happening?' thought Jiraiya.

'Too much super-hot pepper' thought D Naruto.

"Lord Orochimaru…. Your ass is on fire!" Tayuya warned her boss. Orochimaru brow twitched in annoyance before he felt a burning sensation coming from his bottom. Looking he found that his ass was really on fire. Quickly putting it out he turned to face his enemies he wondered why they hadn't attacked him.

Who the hell want to attack someone that just set his pants on fire with a fart? Watching the comedy is way better.

After putting out the fire Orochimaru took a fighting although this one was awkward to say the least. It mainly focused on making sure that his butt was clamped shut so as not to cause an 'accident'.

"Dude you if you want to go there is a destroyed mud wall over there that could offer you some privacy" D Naruto suggested. Orochimaru didn't think twice, he just bolted to the wall. Man the dude really wanted to go. To some it would be Prime time (Yami smiles) however to Orochimaru it was the worst mistake that would make him along with Danzo the laughing stock in the entire Elemental nations for generations to come.

The moment he squatted to relieve himself all hell broke loose. It was worse than what Dano endured. First he released a shit load of shit. But it didn't end there not by a long shot. Because of the burning sensation he was feeling he began to shit flames. Literally.

Then the most interesting thing happened. Orochimaru achieved lift off. For those that had seen a rocket taking off into deep space that's exactly what happened to our snake friend. The power of the pressure that was cooking in his belly combined with the force Orochimaru put into getting rid of the stuff plus the flames he was shitting, propelled the poor guy upwards screaming as he went.

"Holy shit" exclaimed Jiraiya. You don't see that everyday.

"More like Flaming shit" the 3rd commented. In his long life he had never seen a strategic withdrawal as comical as this.

The Sound 4 immediately dropped the barrier and sped after their master who was experiencing flight for the first time. The ANBU pursued but those guys were fast. They failed to catch them. Kabuto also snuck away in the chaos but he felt rage for his master's humiliation.

In the skies of Konoha everyone witnessed the spectacle that was Orochimaru flying as he left the village (involuntarily). It was a site to behold. For Anko it was the best day ever. First she went on a killing spree and then someone lights up Orochimaru's ass. Yap best day ever.

Present time back to our gang

"Dude how much of big Sis' stuff did you use. Because that's too much man" Naruto asked having been on the receiving end of Kurama's experimental shit powder. It makes people shit themselves.

"Mmmmh I thing a whole pack" D Naruto said thoughtfully. Naruto felt sorry for Orochimaru. The guy was going to be shitting flames for months.

"So what do we call that, a butt pack (from jet pack)" there was silence for a while as the three Uzumaki thought. The other two Kage just sweat dropped. Yah Uzumaki are a special grade of crazy.

"I got it. An Ass pack!" all three Uzumaki shouted at the same time. They looked at each other before shouting jinx at the same time. And thus began a round of the three Uzumaki imitating each other. It was comical and weird at the same time.

"These guys are insane" commented the 2nd as he rubbed his forehead. He only hopped his brother won't join in. Crap too late.

"What did I miss" asked a groggy but confused Minato who just finished his talk with his imprint. There were a lot of things that he wanted to discuss with Naruto but this is not the time.

It was also at this time that Temari and Kankuro arrived and threated to beat the crap out of everyone if they don't release Gaara. Honestly it was really touching but stupid at the same time. 2 genin threatening 3 Kage level undead shinobi was amusing to say the least. Tobirama was tempted to use his KI but that would traumatise the children.

They were adamant but in the end it was Gaara who assured them that he was in good hands. Naruto also gave his word. The two siblings agreed to leave but they threatened that if anything happened to their brother there would be hell to pay. This action left Gaara feeling funny in his insides probably his lungs because he doubted that he still had a heart while his mother smiled as she watched her children looking out for each other.

After they left the two boys were taken back to Konoha. With the Kage around Gaara was well protected. Since they were both tired Minato was forced to carry Gaara while a victorious Kushina gave Naruto a damn piggy back ride. It was really embarrassing for Naruto especially when Shiro through some comments about mama's boy. Not that he didn't enjoy the ride even if he didn't want to admit it. Is this what is like to have a mother?

And done.

What a hustle to type but I am done. Next chapter The Aftermath, the 3rd, Jiraiya and Minato suffer Kushina's wrath.

OKAME

"OUT GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. YOU DAMN UZUMAKI ARE TERRIBLE! I AM TIRED OF BEING PAINTED PINK WITH SPARKLES. DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILIATING IT WAS TO APPEAR TO MY CLIENTS IN MY SCARY GLORY ONLY TO HAVE THEM SNICKER OR OUTRIGHT LAUGH AT ME?" The Shinigami fumed as he looked at the two bashful Uzumaki who were most likely planning something.

Looking up "Take these two back I can't take it anymore" he shouted.

He received a swift response "No way in hell. I don't want them either. Why do you think I kicked them out? You keep them"

The Shinigami looked annoyed. "You two, I don't want you any were near hell or I will quit!" And with that the two Uzumaki were left alone in the mortal plain.

"So you wanna go and haunt some people" Kushina asked her son who mirrored her grin.

"Lead the way mom" soon chaos erupted in the mortal plain as the two ghosts terrorised everyone. I mean just imagine having sex with a mistress then find out two ghosts are watching you with wicked grins planning on telling on you.

And so began the awesome adventures of the terrible Uzumaki ghost duo.