Disclaimer – Only in my imagination do I own Yu Yu Hakusho and this epic Linkin Park song that I use in this chapter. Enjoy.
A/N - this is a short filler-ish chapter, covering some of the things I realized I left out before. They will begin their search for Hiei starting next chapter.
Jenna - I am not 100% sure if Yukina knows Hiei is her brother at this point, I will have to ask her and see. Regardless, I think it would be rather compatible with Yukina's character to keep her formality with and respect for Hiei by using the "san" honorific. As far as making Yukina a stronger chapter in this fanfic, I always think of Yukina's amazing bravery and power to not cry when she is being tortured for her tear gems. I think if Yukina got more screen time, and Yu Yu Hakusho was a bit less sexist (just stating a fact, a lot of animes are sexist), we would see more of this side of Yukina. Oh, and Hiei with angry birds in the last chapter was basically a random idea that I just went with, I am glad you liked it, I got a good chuckle out of that scene as well.
Chapter 10
Hikari woke to her puppy, shadow, licking her face. "Oh shit" she muttered sleepily, "Aren't you a little fighter. When in the hell did I feed you last? I'm an awful owner; let's get you some food boy".
"I get some, it's in the closet right? You just focus on getting up. You should have been asleep for hours yet, but I forgot to give you something that can't wait for tomorrow" Yukina said, walking over to the food bag.
"Hear that boy, someone is going to take care of you. I will have to talk to Botan about feeding you while I am gone looking for Hiei. . . or maybe I should have Keiko do it, she is a bit less forgetful." Shadow whimpered and Hikari rubbed his ears, "No boy, you can't come with me. It is way too dangerous. Plus, I am doing an awful job looking out for myself lately, I'm afraid something would happen to you." Shadow still whimpered until Yukina came back with his food and water bowls. Happily Shadow jumped off the bed and began to tuck into his food.
"Good boy" Hikari said tiredly, and forced herself into a sitting position. "Yukina can you grab that vile on my night stand, it will help me wake up". Yukina handed the vile to Hikari, who uncorked it and breathed in the scent of the oil inside. Her head beginning to clear, Hikari corked the vile and put in on the bed. "You put some strong stuff in my tea, I never get this drowsy after effect from the sleep herbs I use. When we have more time you will have to show me what you used".
"I will show you the day you show me what is in your sleepy tea" Yukina said with a small smile.
"Fair enough" Hikari chuckled. "What can I do for you, Yukina?"
Yukina stiffened slightly and became more serious. "I. . . this for you" Yukina said, handing Hikari a strand of breathtaking milky black and blue gem stones. "It's the law among my people that tear gems belong to the person who. . . who they were shed for, so these belong to you". Preempting Hikari's response Yukina added, "Please do not try to give them back, it would be an insult and it would not be right".
Keeping her mouth shut Hikari studied the strand of gems in her lap, held together by s silver clasp. The gems were strung in a pattern, three black gems and then a blue one, repeating over and over again with enough length to make a necklace. Hikari shivered, unable to get herself to count how many tears she had caused Hiei to shed. God Hiei, what have we done?
Yukina waited for a moment to make sure Hikari wasn't going to thrust the gems back at her before she moved forward and fassened the strand around Hikari's neck. "Please, guard them with your life, they are most precious" Yukina said, and headed for the door.
"Yukina?"
"Yes?"
"When did he tell you about. . . about. . ."
"That you weren't handling everything alright? That you were self-harming?" Yukina supplied gently.
"Yea. . . that."
"He came and found me the morning before your examination. He was scared to death that he had given himself away when we barged into the kitchen mid-conversation, but I think you were too panicked to give our entrance a second thought."
"I noticed you guys come in, but I didn't pay it much mind." Hikari sighed deeply. "Did Hiei say how he knew?"
"No, but I do know that Hiei is very watching and observant of those he cares about. If the problem is as bad has Hiei made it out to be, then he has probably observed you doing it more than once".
"The woods" Hikari muttered to herself.
"Hmmm?" Yukina asked.
"Nothing. Thank you Yukina, for everything. You look as beat as Kurama, please go get some rest."
"You as well Hikari, you still look very pale, even for you."
"Okay" Hikari replied as Yukina exited and closed the door behind her.
Hikari leaned back into her pillows, feeling crushed into the bed by the heaviness in her heart. Weary to her soul Hikari allowed herself to think about Hiei and to just feel what came to her. There were too many emotions to try to sort them out, so Hikari just breathed in and out, exhaling one emotion to inhale the next. Despite how tired her body was, Hikari quickly realized that sleep was not going to return to her. Rather than try a cup of her own sleepy tea, Hikari when in search of a keyboard. After wondering the castle hallways and into empty rooms Hikari for about an hour Hikari found herself in front of the room she had unintentionally been searching for all along, Hiei's room.
Hikari opened the door and stepped inside. Hikari breathed in, unable not to realize how much the room carried his scent. The room was simple, just the necessities. The walls were a deep grey, patterned with reds and blacks and purples, as if someone had make his walls their paint splatter canvas. His bed and night stand were made of a black wood with designs and accents carved into the woods. His sheets were the grey of the walls and his pillows were black. The point where the room drew the eye was the window, a beautiful dormer window of solid glass, held together by the pressure of the window frame but without supports so the view of the forest below wasn't marred in any way. There were rich red curtains around the window, and a soft pillowed window seat. That answers that question Hikari thought, his butt does get sore from sitting on the hard wood all the time.
Though alluring, Hikari did not go to the window. Instead she looked to the darkest corner of the room where she knew she would find a dust covered keyboard. She reached over and hovered over the keys for a moment, remembering his face and how relaxed he had been while sitting down at his keyboard. Hiei had been able to make the instrument sing and weep in a way that kept Hikari mesmerized for hours. Realizing she was too tired to carry the keyboard herself, she enlisted the help of the rooms many shadows. The shadows formed a black pool under the keyboard and used their collective movements to pull the keyboard along. Fortunately Hiei's room was not far from Hikari's. Once the shadows had deposited the keyboard on her room balcony, she thanked them by touching each shadow with a small part of her power, and then left them to return to the items that cast them. Shadows, Hikari understood, never liked to be separated long from the caster.
Dragging her desk chair onto the balcony as well, Hikari settled in front of the keyboard and began to bring the keys to life again. As darkness fell, Hikari moved shadows around to pull the bits of scattered light as she kept playing.
When Kurama came to wake Hikari a couple hours before dawn, he found her bed empty. His fox ears keen as ever, Kurama heard the sound of music coming from the balcony. Quiet Kurama opened the door leading to the outside space just enough to catch a glimpse of Hikari sitting there, playing on Hiei's keyboard. Kurama had never heard Hiei play, but recognized the keyboard for the times Kurama had visited Hiei's room. Rather than interrupt her, Kurama listened to Hikari's haunting voice as she sang and played her soul's pain into music.
"You hid your skeletons when I had shown you mine
You woke the devil that I thought you'd left behind
I saw the evidence, the crimson soaking through
Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose
And you held it all, but you were careless to let it fall
You held it all, and I was by your side
Powerless
I watched you fall apart and chased you to the end.
I'm left with emptiness that words cannot defend
You'll never know what I became because of you
Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose
And you held it all, but you were careless to let it fall
You held it all, and I was by your side
Powerless
And you held it all, but you were careless to let it fall
You held it all, and I was by your side
Powerless
Powerless
Powerless.
When Hikari finished, she leaned her head on the keyboard, breathing deeply. In that night of sleeplessness she had been able to find words and voice for her feelings about Hiei. She was not overcome by them anymore; they had been sung out of her, pressed away from her into the keys and through her feet into the pedals and through her vocals cords into the sky. Nothing in her situation had changed, but being able to put words to it for the first time in so long made all the difference to Hikari. "Hiei, I love you" Hikari whispered, before falling asleep on her arms, folded across the keyboard.
Kurama smiled sadly at the weight of the song he had just heard and walked over to his young friend. Careful not to wake her, Kurama picked Hikari up gently from the keyboard and laying her just as gently on her own bed inside the room. "You did well, Hikari. Now sleep. We will leave when you wake again." Kurama kissed her forehead and pulled her covered over her small body. Kurama retrieved a spare sheet for the hall and draped it over the keyboard, leaving it on the balcony for the moment. As an afterthought Kurama scribbled a note onto Hikari's desk, explaining his decision to put off their departure, while avoiding mentioning that he had heard Hikari's song. Smiling tiredly he went to find Yukina to tell her that they were all going to go back to bed.
Hikari was right that Hiei was probably planning to do something stupid, but Kurama also knew that Hiei was the brooding sort much more than the rash doing sort. They had a bit of time to find Hiei before they put his plan into action. Kurama still felt drained from the emotional experience Hikari had given him, to be trapped inside Youko while his hands killed everyone he loved and cared for. The moments had been so real that Kurama had to keep reminding himself they were not. Kurama would need time to recover, but for now he would settle for having the next few hours. When they found Hiei, Kurama would take some time off; maybe he would even bring Shizuru along with him.