The drive back to Lima was long and left her feeling heavy, groggy. Her parents had been loving but not helpful. It was uncomfortable talking to them about the wedding they weren't invited it to. They knew her well enough not to ask questions, she knew to fake a smile and pretend that she was happy being single again.

They didn't know about Will. Maybe she'd never mentioned his name to them. From the moment she had met him, he became her secret.

"Is this a bad time?"

"Oh, no come in"

"You look like your busy cleaning…"

"No, no…. just…. Dusting. I'm Emma Pillsbury"

"Will. Schuester, I take Spanish."

"What can I do for you Will?"

"I need some advice. One of my seniors is going through a break up and is refusing to speak to any men. Teaching staff included"

"I see. First love is tough"

"Tell me about it! It's been going on for a week now. I was hoping I could send her your way for a bit of … girl talk"

"Of course. Anytime"

"Thanks so much. I just don't want her thinking we're all cheating scum. Men I mean"

"I'm sure no one would ever think that about you"

"Well, I can only hope my wife feels the same way as you"

She couldn't drag anyone else into the whirlwind that was Will. It would be too difficult to disguise the tears in her voice, even over the phone.

She slumps into her Lima apartment and can see the dust moving in the musty air. Her phone vibrates inside her purse. Carl. It's always Carl with the romantic words that beat her down and make her feel worse still.

She had spent Valentines Day in Virginia, rugged up on her brother's sofa, playing Monopoly and laughing about aging parents that say the darndest things. She had enjoyed herself until she walked back to her childhood home to a grand bouquet of red roses waiting on the front step. She had to tell Carl where she was going, she owed him that. But she thought she'd made herself clear.

I don't want to be married to you anymore she had said, like a child picking a new favourite colour. Perhaps if she had told the whole truth, how Will held up his umbrella for her when they walked thru the parking lot, how she begged him to kiss her and still didn't regret it, maybe then he wouldn't be trying hopelessly to woo her.

She presses the buttons until it's silent, unstraps her left foot and right and leans against the kitchen bench. She dials numbers to play back a message. Not Carl's.

Her parents bought her shoes for her birthday, with leather soles and colourful buckles. Her brother gave her a portrait painted by a 4 year old, in a frame that said I love you Aunt Emma in glittered letters. Carl was ignorant of her 31st birthday just one day before Valentines, it wasn't his fault but Emma added to her mental list of his flaws.

Will gave her a voice message that lasted 26 seconds.

"I'm giving you space, I promise. I just… Happy Birthday and I hope everything back home is perfect. God, I miss you and I really want to talk to you. Ok. Sorry. Just call me when you get back. Please. Even if it's late. Call me."

She calls him back because it makes her smile still.

"Hey" he sounds strained and tired

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just stubbed my toe running to get the phone"

She giggles and thinks he couldn't be more adorable.

"How was home?"

"Virginia? It was just what I needed"

"And Carl?' he breathed in as he spoke, weighing every letter.

"He's… the same as always… he's still legally my husband"

" I do-"

"I just want to talk about us Will. It's not fair to discuss Carl, he's not the guilty one here"

"Neither are you, Em"

"That's a lie and you know it" she's crying and she knows he can tell. "I was forcing myself on you"

"Stop it Emma. We have feelings for each other and Carl knew that. He knew everything from day one, I made sure of it"

He's right but they both feel guilty, swallowing nervously and sighing into their phones. After a minute she speaks, and lays down on the sofa, letting her legs dangling over one end.

"About us…"

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes. I love you and I want to give it a shot" she feels corny saying it out loud and then remembers all the times he said it without a response and feels guilty. Again.

"So what happens now?"

"I have to file papers and talk to Carl's lawyers"

"I thought we were talking about us?"

"We have to go slow Will"

"…. Can I come over?"

"That's not slow" she chuckles despite herself

"I have something for you. For your birthday"

She smirks to herself and forgets Carl's face for the first time in months.

"Tell you what Em. I'll just leave the present at your door and then I'll see you at school tomorrow"

"Sounds perfect"

An hour later she hears his car clunk away and picks up the envelope he slid under her door.

It's white and plain and has her name scribbled in his tangled writing that somehow reminds her of his curls.

She ignores her luggage abandoned in the hall and tears the paper gently.

Em.

I'm writing everything down so it's clear for both of us and so you can make up your mind properly. I'd be lying if I said I knew what Carl means to you, but I know that you care so much about every single person in your life and I want you to do what is best for you.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I really do love you. And I know it's too soo,n but one day I do want to marry you, even though between us we've all but destroyed it, I believe in marriage and letting the whole world know how much you love someone.

I want to live with you and I want you to teach me how to bake cookies. Occasionally I want us both to call in sick on Monday morning and spend the whole day in bed together. I want to get to know your family and to be honest, I want them to love me. I want you to know how attractive you are and how much I want you all the time.

I'm not naive. I know you must spend outrageous amounts of cash on those outfits you wear, and we're going to argue about it more than once. And I'll get frustrated over Glee rehearsals and take it out on you. And then I'll be sorry. But I'll always respect you.

You already know I want kids. That won't change. You'll be the sexiest, tidiest, loving mother in the world, whether they're biologically ours or not.

So that's it. The whole truth, everything I want.

See you at school,

Will.

She folds the paper neatly carrying it with her to her room, imagining the day when Will might be waiting for her under the covers.