Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other anime or movie referenced here.
Hey guys I am still alive and kicking and back with another chapter after so long.
If some of the things and timeline seem out of place sorry for that. Recently I have been having health complications some of which affect my long-term memory storage. So I tend to forget staff a lot.
Chapter 35
Previously
"YOU PERVERT" Tsunade clocked Jiraiya in the face launching him out of town. She then went after him, who at this time was already up running for his life trying to explain the situation. But when she-hulk is angry she doesn't listen.
"Hehehehe serves you right old man" Naruto said as he cackled like a madman. Shizune soon realized that it was Naruto who did this but never questioned it as she and Naruto took off following the voices of anger and screams of pain.
Orochimaru seemed pleased by the efforts Kabuto went through to acquire this sample. Now time to see what Naruto's DNA can unlock for him. Karin's DNA didn't give him much for some reason and Kushina's well it's kinda hard to get exactly what you want from a decaying corpse. So, Naruto's DNA was the one he needed which held so many secrets, so many possibilities. The boy born of an Uzumaki jinchuuriki and is a jinchuuriki himself from birth and an Uzumaki to boot (note this is one of the things that made Naruto a huge letdown. Being all this I kinda expected him to develop some awesome abilities but no he was just an above average guy piggybacking too much on the 9 tails). Oh the possibilities.
Now
The return trip was a fun one for Naruto and Shizune. Naruto enjoyed talking to the older woman since she didn't know him and his mixed reputation. It was a nice change of pace to talk to someone outside of Konoha who didn't call him a demon or the recent annoyance 'Uzumaki-sama' and try licking his ass. That sucked. So they spend time learning about each other while enjoying Jiraiya's screams of pain from an angry Tsunade.
Well after arriving at the village gate and receiving a warm welcome, a very 'warm welcome' which left Naruto very annoyed because it was more of a 'Welcome back Uzumaki-sama' rather than a 'Welcome back Tsunade-sama'. It was very very annoying especially with the girls holding message signs with various messages ranging from annoying to downright inappropriate.
With the very uncomfortable reception passing the four (or five if we count the pig) headed for the Hokage Tower to report the mission success. Arriving the found the three dead Kage and the old fossilizing Kage waiting for them. Some had smiles while others had stoic looks (Yah we can all guess who that is).
Tsunade for her part looked shocked to see her grandfather and granduncle even though she was told they were around. Various emotions raged within her ranging from happiness to disappointment.
She was disappointed not in seeing the two but in herself. She dragged her family name through the mud and squandered their fortune. She was an embarrassment to the family. She would take whatever tongue lashing they give her and she made a promise to herself that she would do better to honor her family's legacy. But the first words she received were not what she expected.
"Holy Molly look at those gigantic melons Tobi-chan. See I told you one day she would fill you nicely" Hashirama shouted to his brother while looking Tsunade up and down. His brother just looked at him like he was crazy.
"I know right. Those melons should be a national treasure" Jiraiya chimed ogling Tsunade making her brow twitch in annoyance. The nerve of these two.
"That's not important right now. What I want to know is where are your kids? (to be honest what the fuck was Kishimoto thinking making the clan almost extinct and the last of the clan doesn't get it on to keep the clan alive)" Tobirama asked giving Tsunade a scrutinizing look that made her squirm under his gaze.
"There are no children uncle. I am sorry but I am not married nor do I have a boyfriend." Tsunade said in a sad almost inaudible tone.
"That's too bad. I wanted to see some young Senju blood running around. Well guess I have no choice. I am gonna need a list of those you think would be eligible to marry my niece here and I will personally interview them." Tobirama said while looking at a shocked 3rd.
"Wait what?" Tsunade shouted horrified and embarrassed while Shizune stifled a giggle.
"And here I thought with a moniker like 'the Legendary Sucker' you would at lest have some kids running around" Naruto said with a smirk. He just loved to cause trouble wherever possible. The looks the first two kage spotted made his day.
"NANI!" they shouted looking at her like they wanted to skin her alive. Yah that name would cause many to have different thoughts from what is intended.
"Wait you misunderstand. Its not what you think!" Tsunade shouted trying to clear up the misunderstanding while thinking of a way to get back at Naruto (good luck with that).
"Oh really because to me its sound like you give lots of men happy times." Hashirama said with a stoic look which was very rare. And how would Tsunade defend this? Telling them that she became a legend at sucking at gambling is just as bad. That brat really dug her a very deep grave.
"Its not her fault. If there is anyone to blame, blame the old man. He is the one who created Team Legendary PPS after all." Naruto said causing the third to turn as white as a sheet.
"Team Legendary PPS?" Tobirama asked confused. The third was begging Naruto from behind Tobirama not to say anything. He did wonder what PPS meant but whatever it meant he knew it was bad for him.
"Yah. We have the Legendary Pedo, the Legendary Pervert (pointing to Jiraiya) and the Legendary Sucker" Naruto said before he ran away from the office after dodging a chair, with Tsunade hot on his heels. This just left the 3rd at the mercy of the first two kages.
"Man at least my surviving student is not that bad" Minato commented watching the show. Naruto really knew how to spice up the day. He had to admit Kushina didn't cause this much drama.
"Oh really. Reading porn in broad daylight in the children's park while laughing perversely. Or how about 'I have a lovely bunch of coconuts'" the 3rd said Minato in between his punishment making the dead man curse.
After ditching Tsunade, which was a miracle, he headed home to find an interesting sight. Miya was sitting on the cough looking at the recently installed HD TV D Naruto got from her home world while eating whatever the fuck that was. In the corner you could see Gaara, Zabuza, Shukaku and Yin Kurama all looking depressed with dark clouds hovering above them.
What the heck happened to them?
"Yei Fatality again!" shouted an exited Eri who was cheerfully jumping around celebration. This left Naruto confused. Looking at the TV he saw that someone was playing Mortal combat and another player just lost, badly if the almost full life bar of the victor was any indication.
"This isn't fair. How the heck did I loss five times in a row to a brat" he heard Yang Kurama grumbling as he slowing made his was to join the others in the corner. Miya just looked amused as she munched on her vomit inducing snack.
"Did you see that aunty Miya. I beat them all" Hanabi shouted as she jumped from her seat wearing a makeshift crown made of sand decorate by various precious stones. That thing looks very valuable. What the hell is Shikaku thinking giving a child that.
"Yes I did sweaty. That will teach them that girls rule"
Wait a minute. Hanabi beat all these guys, experienced fighters, in Mortal Combat. Hehehe he was going to use this to blackmail them forever. Eternal blackmail.
"Hey aunt Miya I am back" Naruto announced his presence even though they already knew he was there.
"Hello dear how was your trip"
"Eventful. Ran into the pedo, fought the Hokage candidate and pranked Jiraiya. How is the little one by the way" Naruto said.
"Oh she is fine. She will be coming into this world very soon" Miya said smiling while rubbing her pregnant belly.
That's good. Time to rest and then spend some time with his girls and family. Off in the distance he could hear cries of pain and stomping of an angry she-hulk. Nice nape time sounds.
Sounds of staff meeting staff could be heard in the Hokage private training ground. It was early in the morning and we find two combatants standing opposite each other.
The first was the elderly Hiruzen who looked a bit out of breath with a few scrapes and bruises but otherwise okay. He was holding his trusty partner Enma in his staff form. Despite his tired look you could see that he was happy and proud.
His opponent was Hashirama who looked very much alive rather the standard zombie look. He was dead on his feet, standing on one knee while supporting himself with his wooden staff. He looked dead tired with a lot of bruises which were healing. He too was smiling.
Looking at the field it looked like a certain walking natural disaster passed through (cough *Kurama* cough). There were a lot of broken trees, craters and boulders everywhere. This was a testament to what a kage level battle looked like.
Off in the distance you could see a very happy Kushina cheering, a starry-eyed zombie Hashirama and an impressed Tobirama. In the shadows a team of ANBU were awe struck by the battle they just witnessed. Even though it was a spar with some restrictions it was still awe inspiring. Imagine if those two actually went all out.
"Impressing Naruto-kun you almost had me a few times" the 3rd said smiling dismissing a very impressed Enma.
"Damn old man I should start calling you super gramps. You are still very strong even though you look like an ancient artifact" the now identified Naruto joked in between breath still in his Hashirama form.
Naruto had asked for a spar to test out his bloodline. He though it was a good idea to test out his transformation abilities by transforming into Hashirama which was a huge mistake. Just transforming and maintaining this transformation was very taxing to his body not to mention his reserves. Worse he hadn't even fucking practiced with the low level people he copied.
Coupled with the fact that the old man had a bone to pick with him for yesterday's stunt earned him a one-way trip to pain vile. The old man didn't give him a break. At the end of the fight he only had enough chakra for two shadow clones. This just shows how much drained he was.
"That was sooo cool. It was like you were me. The techniques you used were all mine plus a few improvised ones. You gotta teach me how to do that. Maybe I can turn into grumpy Tobi-chan" said the ever exited Hashirama. Never in his life had he been exited to watch a fight. Much less watch himself being so cool (clones don't count).
"Yah but transforming into you was a bad idea. I should have done Itachi instead, at least I would have enough chakra to be my hyperactive self" Naruto said as he sat down on the ground having dispelled his transformation.
"Oh you mean the Uchiha you fought. You copied him too? That's one dangerous ability you got there. I am impressed you actually you lasted this long on your first try" Tobirama commented.
"If you think that's awesome wait you see me combining two people hehehe" everyone looked at him in shock. If he could do that then there is no telling just how strong he can get.
"Anyway I wanted to ask about that jutsu you used when fighting the sand Jinchuuriki. Its similar to mine but you don't use seals to teleport to. So how did you do it if you don't mind me asking" Tobirama really wanted to know. For all his knowledge he couldn't teleport to a location that lacks his seal. So trust me when I say he really really wanted to know.
"Wait Naruto can teleport without seals" shouted both Kushina and the 3rd. For Kushina she only knew the few jutsu she him using including the super awesome rasengan and this transformation ability. She heard Minato wanting to ask how he did the rasengan but Naruto had been avoiding him for some alone time. Seems the mental scares were still there.
"Oh that. You wanna know a secret? (every one nodded their heads as they drew closer to hear what he wanted to say) I don't teleport hehehe" everyone immediately face faulted in to the ground.
"What do you mean by that! We both saw you clearly teleporting." Tobirama shouted.
"But its true. I don't teleport. My brother just taught me how to upgrade E-rank jutsu to an A-rank which will soon become SS-rank once I upgrade it further. To put it simply I use the Replacement jutsu" Naruto said as he sat up looking at his audience who wanted an explanation. You could see them trying to come up with some sort of conclusion on how such a low rank jutsu could be this good but they drew blank.
"What I am about to tell you stays here. No one needs to know. (the 3rd signaled for his ANBU to leave) Okay the replacement jutsu works by the user projecting his chakra on to an object of certain mass and size. Heavier objects are difficult to move and chakra taxing unless you have a specialised way of doing that. Small object are difficult to target. Which leaves the magic logs.
However, what if someone can flood his chakra in the surrounding area, what if someone can replace himself with said chakra without the need to project it onto an object. Granted this method is the most difficult since its nearly impossible to control chakra that leaves and is not connected to your body. So in short I just flood the surrounding area with my chakra and use it to replace myself"
Damn that's amazing was the general though of everyone. To be able to turn a low level jutsu to an higher rank jutsu is insane. Granted there were a lot of drawbacks and other things that make it impossible to use. For example very few people have enough chakra to saturate a 2 metre diameter let alone the insane area Naruto covered.
"I think I get it now. You used the shadow clone principle. It rare to see someone replace himself with another live human being but its much easier with shadow clone since the user is connected to his chakra construct. Its an extremely delicate and dangerous technique I have to say. I can see many drawbacks like its chakra costly and its difficult to reconnect with chakra one it leaves your body. But from the way you did it there is more to it isn't there." Tobirama deduced. He his observations were correct then no one can use that damn technique.
"Yes there is. Once chakra leaves the body its invisible to all but doujutsu users which is another weakness of the technique. However everyone can sense chakra of that magnitude. But it takes a sensor to actually feel this chakra and understand it. That's were my second ability comes in.
I am one hell of a sensor. I can sense just about anything. From chakra affinities even to anyone's intentions even those hidden. Hell I can even read someone during battle like the sharingan only ten times better. Since I can sense my chakra and my chakra reacts to me, I can connect to any place as long as my chakra is there. So by combining these two abilities I can form an even greater technique.
I can map everything in my mind's eye, every place I need to be and then I just replace myself. If I am dropped in the middle of a battle field and manage to flood my chakra let's say up to 1km radius and I can sense all their chakra signatures and what they are about to do, just think what would happen. They won't know what hit them. The only drawback is that doing so and processing everything at insane speeds tends to fry my brain and is very taxing to my body so I will only do that when it's absolutely necessary. Plus I am a jinchuuriki so I am covered to some degree. The only troublesome people so far are those with chakra absorbing abilities" Naruto finishes explaining leaving everyone to gasp like fish out of water.
This technique is a marvel despite its drawbacks. Compared to the Flying thunder God technique this one might be more suited to execute massacres. While the Flying thunder God has range advantage and you can teleport with someone or more people to a point, this technique more than makes up for it in subtilty. You need kunai with seals which anyone with a good head can track while this one you just appear out of nowhere. Doujutsu users might see you replace yourself but the fact that you can appear anywhere make it dangerous. What a technique indeed.
"So you mean to tell me you, used that technique in battle before?" The third asked.
"Yes once against those two insane jashinist and then when I massacred in forest outside the village before the invasion started"
"Impressive boy. So how did you want to upgrade it" Tobirama asked again. Maybe he could upgrade it in the afterlife (This is another part of Dragonballs and Naruto that don't make sense to me. I mean dead people train in the afterlife and then they come back to life all powered up while they trained in spirit form? I call bull on this one.)
"Well I was thinking of using wind or sage chakra" Naruto said nonchalantly like it didn't mean a think. But he just broke his audience. If he could connect with sage chakra or the wind then he could be anywhere in the world if he wanted to. He soon left with his new chunin jacket. Every Kage agreed that he more than deserved it. The only reason they didn't promote him to Jounin was because he outright refused and he was lazy to take on more responsibility.
After the very eventful spar Naruto then thought of adding more training aspects on his plate that he needs to do on his own. Clones are not going to cut it on this on so he needed to manage his time between physical training, his wind training and now his transformation technique.
Walking with him was his mother who was eager to spend the little left getting to know more about her son and his new family. She could honestly say he was in very good hands. But she needed to know something before they get to the genin training grounds.
"Naruto, you said that you will leave Konoha soon. Where will you go?" she asked nervous thinking she might have set off a bomb.
"Home" Naruto simply replied smiling.
"Home?" she asked confused.
"Yah home. You know where all Uzumaki used to reside before disaster struck. We aim to rebuild it and hopefully make it a safe haven for jinchuuriki and the remaining Uzumaki scattered across the continent" he replied as they entered the training ground to see all the other genin teams and their senseis assembled.
Looking around he could see each and every team looked a bit different like they were training hard. He spotted Lee with a par of nun chunks which made him smile a bit. Seems the Spring Time of Youth is diversifying. He just hoped that everyone was doing the same otherwise they will all die young.
Kushina opted to hang back as she watched the joint team training exercises. Plus Tsunade said she would show up to do her own assessment. The Slug princess was still adamant about not being Hokage which meant she and Jiraiya were being pressured but as things stand Jiraiya might take the hat. And the pervert ball too. Wonder what sort of perverted policies he will come up with?
"Okay as you all know starting this time with this crop of genin things are going to change. Out teams as noted are too predictable making it easy for use to be taken down. So from now on we are going to put some diversity in our teams meaning that for those who are in clans you will not rely too much on your clan abilities" Kakashi explained. Maybe this was for the best. Apart from sharingan users who can copy ninjutsu other forms of jutsu that can be copied, others aren't really that hard to defeat.
"As for now we will be doing various chakra exercises and physical exercises to prepare you for the next step. All senseis will overlook chakra control exercises but they won't monitor their own team. Then Gai will be in charge of the physical training. Anko will pop up from time to time to tortu- I mean traumatize, I mean train the girls" Asuma finished with a sweat drop at the end for his slip up. He felt sorry for his genin but it was necessary.
"By the way Tsunade will also be dropping in to check on you progress. Once you are all up to standard in chakra control then you all will get the basics of medical ninjutsu. Everyone needs these basics incase your team medic is incapacitated. And as you have guessed one in your team will be the medic so take this seriously" Kurenai said her piece.
Some one decided to raises his had to ask a question.
"Why is the dobe wearing a chunin vest?" questioned Kiba as he glared in the direction Naruto was in. Everyone looked in the direction Naruto was standing in, which with Hinata, which infuriated Kiba to no end. Man, they guy can't take a hind.
A number of reactions erupted from the group ranging from surprise to jealousy and at least two didn't seem too surprised by this development. Of course, Sasuke was jealous. He was supposed to be the best of their crop and yet the dobe is now a rank above them.
"Because genius he mopped the floor with all of the final contestants in the chunin exams. Rumor has it that before coming to the exams he wiped out a platoon of enemy shinobi, then beat us soundly then went on to fight that sand guy alone. I am surprised they didn't offer his the jounin position" Shikamaru explained. Now that everyone thought about it, it seems Naruto is stronger than all of them combined. Seems they have their work cut out for them.
Shikamaru's statement seemed to have raised their moral. Each seemed eager to train and become stronger. It would be embarrassing if they went up against Naruto and lost like that again. Good luck with that.
While everyone went to train Hinata requested that Gai move on with her physical training since she already had superb chakra control. Gai was more than happy to introduce her to the spring time of youth much to her horror. She might have to introduce him to the way of the hannya.
"Naruto are you not coming?" Kakashi asked wanting to at least have a hand in Naruto's training.
"Nah I think I will stay here and do something less taxing. The old man had field day with me when we sparred this morning. I need at lest an hour to get back to 50%. Besides I am already way ahead of your training schedule for the day" Naruto sat down with him mother walking up to him. Kakashi wasn't shocked that Naruto trained with the 3rd hell he trained with the old man when he was young. It just showed how much talent he almost destroyed with his bare hands.
"Anything I can do to help?" He asked hoping to at least give Naruto some input.
"Unless you know how to use wind to cut a diamond 'clean' then I don't think so at the moment" Naruto said holding a diamond in his hand trying to cut it in half. Kushina thought it was a good training method and it definitely lived up to the title of Uzumaki training. If its not insane then its for the regular folk.
"You are kidding right, it's not possible not to mention insane. Not even I can do that" Asuma who was eavesdropping on the conversation.
"It's possible little monkey. This is Uzumaki training it has to be insane. Just because you can't do it doesn't mean no one can. Well You just leave while I keep my son company" Kushina said shooing the two men away.
This left Kushina with Naruto who was giving Naruto a few pointers while chatting about his future plans and grandbabies. Man the woman was adamant about having grandbabies. By the time the others arrived after finishing their training Naruto was up side down on a tree branch still trying to cut the diamond. He had managed to make a small cut but it wasn't smooth meaning he still had a lot of work.
It was interesting to see how the other teams looked after a long day of training. Team Gai looked less winded with the exception of Ten Ten who looked tired. Of team 8 Kiba looked like he ha a date with dirt with how dirty he looked but he couldn't top our resident fan girls who looked dead on their feet and were covered in dirt and twigs what not. Well Kurenai wasn't lenient with them it seems.
"Alright we end here today but for the coming month we will be doing this over and over again until everyone is up to the standards we need" Asuma announced getting a look of shock from the fangirls plus a certain lazy bum.
"But sensei I am already have excellent chakra control" Sakura whined with Ino backing her up.
"That because of all the genin here you two have the least chakra reserves which is why you have good chakra control." Came a female voice from the forest. Everyone looked to see Tsunade coming out of the forest with her assistant. Everyone straightened up while some brushed off the dirt from their clothes.
"Tsunade-sama welcome. I hope you saw what you needed from out little exercise" Kakashi said having noted that she was observing their training from a distance. She didn't want to indirectly influence their training with her presence. If she was around then the genin would have changed their attitude and she wouldn't have a proper read on their attitudes and skill sets.
From what she observed these teams needed a lot of work and she was very happy that someone initiated this training regimen. It saved her a lot of work and a headache. She did find some good candidate in addition to that Haku girl she found volunteering at the hospital and now that Hyuuga girl who was training with Gai. The others well they needed a lot of work and some attitude changes (the fangirls). This is going to be a hustle.
"Well I did and I can say we all got our work cut out for us. To make my work easier I asked the third to upgrade this program to 6 months. After that we will begin our medical program. As of now I have noted some exceptional candidates. I took note of Haku, Hinata Hyuuga and him (pointing to the still upside down Naruto)" as soon as she pointed to Naruto all hell broke loose.
"Wait why the dobe! He should be in the same class or below us in terms of control!" shouted a certain duck butt with his fangirls backing him up.
"First of all DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY IF YOU WANT TO HAVE LITTLE UCHIHA BRATS RUNNING AROUND. Secondly I am surprised you haven't figured it out yet. It took me two days to finally figure out what he is doing. And I gotta say Uzumaki really are crazy"
"Figure what out. All I know is he is undergoing constant training like Lee but to what extent I don't know" Shikamaru commented being the observant one. Kushina and Hinata grinned. They couldn't wait to see the look of shock when the little secret is out.
"Right know as you can see he is using the tree walking while simultaneously undergoing another training exercise. That's what you all see. However Naruto can you come down for a sec and just let go of you chakra control for a few seconds" Tsunade asked. She wanted to see how much weight he was putting on. The result floored her.
Naruto landed on the ground he let his control slip. Because he usually seals most of his chakra there was no chakra outburst but his control was on something other than his chakra. The moment he let it slip he found himself standing in a huge crater and he was still sinking. The pressure around him was so immense that small pebbles were being turned to dust. He then recontroled his chakra and the pressure stopped.
So, this was his physical training. Control the pressure exerted on him by the gravity seals so that he won't be a walking disaster. He had to make himself as normal as possible so he would appear normal to all. His body was being tempered everyday while his control was being refined. Anyone who tried this would cause permanent damage to their body or in the very least take a lot of years to get used to setting 1 (and there are 10 levels). Luckily, he was a jinchuuriki as well as an Uzumaki so he can regenerate faster and his body would be stronger every time he regenerates so it was no big deal.
Everyone who didn't know was shocked to the core. No one expected this to happen.
"What the hell!. What the hell is that dobe" shouted a sweating and shocked Sasuke.
"As Tsunade-sama stated that is crazy Uzumaki Training. As you can see I use gravity seals instead of weights like Lee does. Most of the time I set the seals at a low setting and this is the low setting at the moment. This helps to train both my body and my chakra control because I used to have problems with my body and control. And no I wont use it on you guys. The lowest setting will permanently damage of your body or turn you into a pan cake." Naruto stated when he saw others trying to request for the seal.
This is crazy even Kakashi was visibly shaken while Lee and Gai had stars in their eyes. It seems Lee found himself a new rival not that Naruto minded. He liked people who trained hard and beside Lee and Gai were good challenges in terms of hand to hand. That is if they opened their gates.
"As I was saying you all need to work hard in all aspects. Naruto and Hinata are improving from what I can see and compare with their past records. You guys need to do the same but don't do anything stupid" Tsunade said as she noted something down.
She then called the team teachers to the side to discuss something leaving the genin to their own devises since they were dismissed. Most of the genin were either eying Naruto and Hinata or they were eying the crater he left behind. It really gave them something to think about. Some went to do some extra training, some went on to spy on Naruto while others followed the spies (you can guess who these were).
As time went on Naruto made sure to spend as much time with his mother as possible. If he wasn't with her personally then he would leave a clone. Time was running out after all. Kushina also made sure to spend time with Hinata and Haku too. She got to know them better and gave them a lot of advice.
Jiraiya and Minato spend sometime together with the Kage trying to fix the mess that was the village. Things were improving in the village and security was beefed up. They also talked about how they would make it up to Naruto but as soon as they met Naruto things became awkward. Still they were trying.
As for training it was going well. There was little improvement especially with the fangirls since they were given Kurenai and Anko popped up from time to time. It was fun to watch them being chased around by large snakes and occasionally dodging 'stray' kunai. Okay it was not them but everyone minus Naruto and Hinata.
Soon it was planned that they would be taking a couple joint C rank missions. Team 7 would be with team 10 to cover for team 10's lack of heavy hitters. Same goes for team 8 and team Gai although this one was debatable since Hinata had become a mini monster in battle. They would be deployed in a month's time but as of now lets recap a couple events before we get to the joint missions.
Uzumaki Household
We find Zabuza and Kushina at it again with Kushina being backed by little Eri and Hanabi. The two didn't know what was going on but they liked their job. Which was holding banners with big bold word written on them which ranged from "We want grandbabies" to "Liberate our grandbabies". Zabuza as usual was stone cold which was why Kushina brought the little girls. They were the only ones that could crack Zabuza's shell without using violence of course.
"Come on Zabuza let my boy make me some grandbabies" Kushina tried to convince Zabuza who was sweating when facing the combined might of the powerful puppy eyes no jutsu from Hanabi and Eri. Try as he might he couldn't resist. Damn Kushina was devilishly cunning woman using those kids.
Off in the distance our three bijuu brothers were watching with interest. Well they were three until they found that Yang Kurama was gone. They soon located him alongside the two children with his own banner written "Let him bang for more kits to the world". Not a child friendly banner that's for sure.
"Hey what the duck (censored for obvious reasons) are you doing" Shukaku asked.
"Guys we need to help the red head." Yang Kurama replied continuing his chant.
"Why"
"What do you mean why? You guys are so narrow minded. Those two are cute when they are little but soon they will grow up and some poor shmucks will snatch them away. Our only hope is for new fresh blood which we can corrupt at a young edge. You get were I am going with this right?" as soon as he finished his explanation the remaining two brothers were already beside him with their banners chanting along the lines of let Naruto have children with Hinata and Haku.
A stoic Gaara who was watching the matter also joined in with his own banner written "Let him prove his existence" even though he didn't actually understand what the big deal was.
Worse the wretched red headed she-devil actually managed to convince Zabuza. She said that if he let Naruto have children he would have the opportunity to make a mini me out of one of them. Yah right like those hannya monsters would let one of their children be turned into a deranged swordsman. It was Kushina's little secret.
And unfortunately, Zabuza agreed not knowing the terror he would endure in the future. He however said that until Naruto was 22 years old he was not allowed to have any action even with protection. Well it was the age of 40 but after some coercing the age was brought down to 22.
After her work was done she said her goodbyes to the others around having felt Death (the Shinigami) arrive in the village to take them. With her goodbyes said she headed to the Hokage tower where she knew Naruto would be having been called by his brother. So this left the kids (yah who would want kids to meet death right) the bijuu, Gaara, Zabuza and the heavily pregnant Miya.
So the bijuu had a great idea which was what they were doing, just laying down of the couches with no mad superpowered she-monsters nagging them. So, this is what the two children found the bijuu plus Zabuza doing. Gaara was in the kitchen proving his existence against an apple pie.
"Hey guys what are you doing?" Eri asked cutely.
"Lazing around like them fat cats" Shukaku replied in a relaxed lazy voice. The two girls found this interesting so they scampered to an unoccupied couch where they dove on and relaxed. You could hear some satisfied sighs coming from the kids as they rested on the couch.
"What are you two up to" came a smooth silky voice which all the bijuu in the house came to associate with severe psychological trauma. Before they could even warn the children not to say anything, the children happily replied.
"Lazing around like them fat cat" they both replied in unison. The bijuu and Zabuza waited for the impending disaster which surprisingly never came.
"Okay that looks interesting" Miya replied calmly as she attempted to sit beside the children until she felt a sharp pain coursing throughout her body which forced her to jolt and take a sharp pained breath. This didn't go unnoticed by the other adults in the room.
"Hey you okay over there" Yin Kurama asked looking at her with one open eye.
"Yes I am fine its just….. Oh dear. My water just broke" Miya said as calm as she could possibly be.
"Wait what now"
"I said my water just broke" Miya replied in a murderous demonic voice. It took a few seconds for the adults to process what was happening. For both 9 tails they knew what was going to happen. If Kushina wreaked havoc when she went into labor imaging the disaster that would follow after Miya when she is in labor. Shit they had to relocate NOW.
"AAAAAH the baby is coming run for your lives. Murder, panic mayhem. Everyone save yourselves!" shouted both halves as they started running around in a panicked frenzy. The others were confused at this reaction while the kids thought it was fun and started imitating the two.
"What the heck is wrong with you" Shukaku shouted.
"Shut the duck up (censored) and just run!" the 9 tails shouted already halfway towards the exit having seen what they already predicted would happen. Gaara who was by the kitchen door saw this too and he just bolted. Call it instinct even though his mother told him that she wanted to see this and take notes.
Eri and Hanabi soon followed completely missing the disaster about to strike our two remain adults who looked on in confusion. Their confusion turned to terror when the whole room went completely dark. All they could see was a massive hannya and a very scary Miya (more than usual) surrounded by a thick purple aura. All she said in a demonic voice was
"Get me Naruto!" and that was the last thing both Zabuza and Shikaku hear before they promptly passed out (not faking it this time).
Kurama and Kaguya were coming back to the house from their straw when they bumped into two screaming red blurs. Soon the blurs were followed by two equally screaming children blabbing something hard to make out.
"Alright calm down and explain what game you are playing" Kurama said in a commanding voice.
"Water everywhere, panic, murder, mayhem, baby coming run for your lives!" the bijuu shouted before they bolted into the sunset. The two women looked at the children confused before they heard "Get me Naruto!"
"Oh boy! I will try and take care of this while you look for our poor sucker. Children get Kushina from the Kage tower (it's irresponsible I know but its for a reason which is not that major)" Kurama said before she went to deal with the Hannya queen. This is going to be a pain until they can get a sucker to bite the bullet.
The children bolted toward the Hokage tower all the while screaming. The two women sweat dropped. Maybe they should have told the children its not a game but that their uncles were having a panic attack.
In the Hokage tower the atmosphere was somber. The departure was heartbreaking. Off to the side we find the Senju family saying their goodbyes. It was emotional for Tsunade as she would have to say goodbye again. But it was liberating to know that they forgave her for her stupidity and that they love her. Although the long list of suitors Tobirama handed the 3rd killed the mood.
Jiraiya and Minato were saying their goodbyes to each other before they focused their attention on Naruto and Kushina. Kushina had wormed her way into Naruto's heart than Minato ever could. He still felt nervous just talking to Naruto knowing that it was his decision that made Naruto suffer.
Off to the side death (Yes the Shinigami) was present watching the whole situation not portraying any emotion. He had been to this rodeo for a long time so nothing could affect him or so he thought.
"Yo Shinigami my friend how are you doing" D Naruto suddenly popped up in the room. He looked cheerful but something was off. He looked nervous, very nervous and sweating.
"Ah my friend how are you. Judging by the expression on your face you need something from me?" the Shinigami replied having an idea that D Naruto wanted something.
"Yah buddy, my bestest friend in the whole multiverse. I need you to lock me up in the deepest parts of hell" D Naruto stated shocking everyone who heard him. No one in their right mind would ask to be locked in the nicest parts of hell let alone the worst.
It was then the Shinigami knew something was off. He felt that something was off the moment he stepped into this village. He subconsciously rubbed his right hand. The last time D Naruto asked him to locked him somewhere very secure, the Shinigami ended up in trouble. Oh Shit.
"By any chance is one of his wives due to give birth?" the Shinigami asked getting nods from Naruto and Kushina while the others looked confused.
"Bye. I will see you all next week" the Shinigami said now sweating profusely.
"Come on man please do me a favor. I will get you those tickets you always wanted"
"Hell no. The last time I did a favor for you I ended up in the delivery room and my hand was shattered like glass. I am supposed to be the scary one but that was the scariest moment in my life" Death shouted as he bolted out of the village and locked the underworld up tight until the storm has passed.
"Hey dear what's going on" Kushina asked although she was glad to be given a week in the world of the living.
"Nothing. If anyone asks tell them I was never here and that I have gone fishing in the Sahara Desert" D Naruto said before he too disappeared well more like ran away. All the occupants looked at each other in confusion. What the heck just happened.
And so the random coincidences started occurring.
First Eri and Hanabi busted into the office running around frantically while screaming some nonsense. At the door was a couple of flustered chunin who were embarrassed for failing to stop two children. Kushina took charge and asked the children what was going on.
"Water everywhere, panic, murder, mayhem aaaaah what's the other one again? (Eri asked Hanabi who whispered something in her ear) Oh yah baby coming run for your lives!" before the kids bolted out screaming the same nonsense all the way home.
"What the baby is coming" Naruto asked a bit excited.
"Yes the baby is coming and I will be there to witness it. Finally I get to hold….." they never heard what she said about a grandbaby because she was already halfway to the residence having picked up the kids on the way causing chaos with her super speed.
"Never a dull moment with Kushina around" the 3rd laughed while lighting his cancer pipe.
"What baby is Kushina talking about that caused her to be so excited. Wait don't tell me" Jiraiya said shocked that Naruto may have gotten a girl knocked up without them knowing.
"The baby is" Naruto was interrupted by the second coincidence of the day, Kaguya who came out of a portal.
"Where is your brother. I know he was here sometime ago. And the Shinigami too where is he?" she asked calmly.
"Bro said he is going fishing while the Shinigami ran away for some reason" Kaguya sighed before she stared at Naruto for a moment. Then a menacing grin formed on her face.
"Well since your brother isn't here to take responsibility or the Shinigami to serve as our poor sucker I guess you will do" she said as she grabbed Naruto. For some reason Naruto knew this wasn't good. Well it wasn't good if the Shinigami ran away.
"Poor boy. He is going to get killed" Minato said as he let out a prayer watching Naruto disappearing into the portal. For the first time in his life Naruto cried for his father to help him. But all the man did was tell him to stay strong and it will be over. In a few hours that is.
And done
As you guys have seen this chapter was a bit of a rundown of some of Naruto's abilities and what going on with improving the genin training. To be honest I don't know how Naruto and gang survived situations were most Chunin and Jounin died. And that's soon after they graduated. So I am trying to rectify that.
See you guys later