Tony spent the ride sulking in the back seat of his helicopter, listening as Happy and Steve hit it off and completely ignored the disgruntled billionaire sitting behind them. Tony played with his phone, ignoring the six messages Pepper left for him in the span of only seven minutes. He spent the rest of the short ride, watching Steve talk animatedly to Happy, something about a funny story involving helicopters, but Tony couldn't be assed to really listen to the words; every time Steve would smile, even as he was talking, a dimple would form at the side of his mouth that Tony found incomprehensibly adorable.
He felt the helicopter begin its short decent to a building on the outskirts of LA. The helicopter had barely touched down when Tony was already hauling open the door and jumping onto the landing pad, his hair flying every which way, grabbing a shiny red briefcase from under the passenger seat where Steve sat.
"Do you want me to wait, Tony?" Happy called out to him, over the noise.
"Nah, I'll be here all day. Take the rest of the day off, and we'll let Steve worry about what to do with me after I'm done here."
"Whatever floats your boat, boss!"
Tony watched unabashedly as Steve got out of the passenger seat, appreciating how the wind was giving him hints of the sculpted body that hid underneath the plain suit. His wandering eyes stopped at the gun holster peeking out from under Steve's jacket. He saw the blond take out the gun, double-checking the ammo and that the pistol was on neutral.
Tony shouted at him over the noise of the helicopter taking off, "I don't think you'll be needing that here!" He gestured at the floor of the roof, where they were standing next to a landing pad that held a giant red cross.
Steve shook his head, yelling back, "I'd rather not, Mr. Stark, but it's in the contract under Director Fury's orders."
Tony rolled his eyes. He would need to have a word with Fury about the appropriate situations in which to have a gun, let alone a body guard. He swiped a card at the rooftop entrance, and held the door open for Steve, who followed him in and spoke again, now much more quietly, "I'm really sorry, Mr. Stark. I promise I won't use it unless the situation deems it necessary. I prefer hand-to-hand combat anyway. It's what I'm best trained in."
"I guess that explains these bad boys, eh?" Tony shamelessly felt up of one of the blonde's massive biceps.
Steve's arm twitched at his touch and his ears turned noticeably red. He coughed, and indicated at the red briefcase the other man held, "Would you like me to hold that for you, Mr. Stark?"
"It's Tony. And yeah,I forgot how heavy it was. I'm designing a lighter model, but in the meantime..." Tony put the case down on the ground with a loud thunk.
"Jeeze, what do you have in here?" Steve asked, as he hoisted the case up. Nothing that small should be so heavy.
Tony grinned at him, "something that makes your presence here entirely moot." He turned and walked briskly toward the elevator, without waiting for Steve to respond.
They got into the elevator, but the doors didn't close behind them. Tony looked at the red scrawl that appeared on the screen above the doors "Maximum weight exceeded."
He grinned up at Steve, who blinked in surprise and his ears turned even redder, "apparently we're too heavy. We can't take the other staff-only elevator so we'll do this the old fashioned way." He strode out of the elevator car, hands in his pockets, whistling a tune Steve couldn't recognize.
Tony chuckled as the blond rushed awkwardly past him in order to open the emergency stairwell door for him. "You're a bodyguard, you don't have to be a gentleman as well. And I'm hardly the damsel in distress type...at least that's what I tell myself."
Steve gave him a small smile, those dimples cropping up again "Just trying to make a good impression."
Tony shook his head and continued his whistling, which echoed down the stairwell. He was actually trying to think about how much the other man could possible weigh. The new "incognito" Iron Man suit couldn't be more than 120 pounds, and he was resting somewhere around 190 himself. A small elevator like that had to carry at least 550. Christ, how much more did muscle weigh than fat? Steve must be packing.
They reached the third floor, and Tony strolled coolly over to the receptionist's desk. "Ah, Shirley, I was hoping it'd be you, doll. Looking as stunning as ever."
Steve eyed the woman skeptically, who couldn't be younger than sixty, and who was rather rotund. A beehive of a hairdo sat atop her head, and her long, manicured nails were holding the latest copy of Readers Digest.
Shirley tossed aside her magazine and threw her hands up in the air, letting out a girly scream. "Wanda, get your tuckus over here, we have a surprise guest!"
Another elderly woman with a very grumpy looking face wobbled over, and gave an equally girly (yet somewhat gravelly) scream of delight, as the two women rushed out from behind reception and came to press wrinkly kisses against Tony's cheeks.
Shirley gave another screech of delight when she saw Steve, "and another one! To what do we owe this pleasure, to have such handsome company!"
The two women bustled over to Steve and began to examine him, one pinching his cheek, the other groping his arm. He looked over at Tony, who looked back at him with laughter in his eyes. "Shirley, Wanda, meet Steve, my bodyguard."
Wanda spoke up, "Jeeze, why do you have all the luck? He's like a Ken doll."
Shirley spoke over her, "Never mind that! Where can I get one?"
Tony laughed, "Sorry kids, it's only temporary. Stop harassing the poor guy and come back to the one who needs his ego stroked."
"Aww, sorry, Tony, you know you're our guy."
"Yeah, Tony, you don't need to worry. Say, how are you feeling? Shirley and I were so glad to hear you recovered well, but it still sounded like a real mess."
"Ladies, I can assure you, I'm fine. I'm here for the ones that really matter. How's Trevor doing?"
The two women looked sadly at each other the same moment a piercing ringtone sounded through the hallway. It was coming from Steve, who looked down at his side, somewhat flummoxed. He unhooked a chunky black phone from his belt and awkwardly flipped it open, holding it up to his ear, "Uh, hello?"
Tony could hear the furious voice of a woman at the other end, despite how tightly Steve was pressing the cell phone to his ear.
"Uh alright, just a moment please, Miss."
The angry voice continued to shout on the other end, and Steve held the phone far away from himself and passed it to Tony, "It's for you Mr. Stark."
Tony pressed his fingers into his temples and sighed: as soon as they were done here, he was going to have a little "chat" with Steve.