"The soon we go the sooner we can get back, right?" Bucky grinned as he stood up.
"Yeah."
Wow, he even impressed himself with the lack of enthusiasm there. He knew this was going to be a long mission and he knew none of his drama was Bucky's fault...but still.
The flight was short enough and they were over the drop zone in Moscow before he knew it.
After touching down in a particularly sleazy part of town Bucky walked straight up to a shady looking character on a street corner. Just as Tony was about to ask what the Hell he was doing, he started speaking perfect Russian to the man, who in return said a few words and pointed down the an alleyway.
"What was that?" Tony inquired as Bucky was back at his side.
"I asked where the closest, cheapest hotel was."
"And he said it was in the doom and gloom alleyway?"
"Welcome to Russia my friend." Bucky shot him big smile over his shoulder.
The place was about what you'd expect, they'd checked into a room under fake names and paid in cash. After setting the newest version of the suitcase armor next to one of the cot-like beds he surveyed the place. Peeling wallpaper that possibly could have been a white or cream color at one point but was now a sad brownish yellow. Wood plank flooring that creaked with even the slightest movement and would certainly leave some nasty splinters if walked on without shoes. The single window with a pane slathered in chipping lead paint couldn't be closed all the way, leaving it permanently cracked open an inch.
"So our best lead is to start at Nikolai's apartment building. It's about a mile from here so we'll have to get moving within the hour if we want to beat the sunrise." Tony mused.
"He's not leaving Moscow for until tomorrow morning, that'll give us time to gather what we can. We'll keep an eye on him today, listen in on his calls and see who comes and goes from the building. Then we get ready to move when he does. One night here and that's it so don't get comfortable, Stark."
Bucky's half cocked smirk and bright eyes made it impossible for Tony to wish for some kind of freak accident to wipe out Barnes and put Steve back in his attainability. He didn't hate Bucky, not even a little bit. But he was agonizingly, endlessly and hopelessly jealous of him.
They grabbed the few things they'd need and headed out, ultimately setting up on a rooftop adjacent building to Nikolai's. Tall enough that no one would notice them unless they were consciously looking for two hidden agents on a random rooftop. The whole day yielded about what they expected: no visitors, no suspicious persons leaving the building, not even a phone call to be tapped. Just a few glimpses of the thin man in his thirties through the open blinds.
So after twelve hours of absolutely ass numbing boredom they headed back to their hotel room. Once the duffel bags were appropriately packed and weapons appropriately loaded they turned in for the night. Sleep found them both easy enough but Tony found himself shivering no more than and hour and half later. Why he'd chosen the bed next to the window he'd never know. He kept his eyes shut as his teeth chattered and he futility pulled the scratchy, thin blanket up higher. He focused on an ambiguous stain on the ceiling until he was able to drift off again.
The second time he woke it wasn't because of the cold but a noise that was halfway between a gasp and a whimper. He opened his eyes and immediately saw the reason his shivering hadn't bothered him again, a second blanket, a thermal black long sleeve shirt and a warm lined coat all draped evenly over his body. It was still pretty fucking cold but he felt a hundred times better now, at least he could move his fingers again. Being only one possible person who could have warmed him up he turned his head to the man in the bed next to his. This had also apparently been the source of the noise that woke him.
Bucky lay on the bed stripped down to a pair of Steve's sweats. The same navy blue pair Steve had pulled on after their time together a year ago. And surely there around Bucky's neck, nestled into his collarbone hung a achingly familiar set of dog tags displaying the name of one Capt. Steven Rogers. Even though these details made Tony's stomach want to flip he couldn't bring himself to linger on them at the moment. Not when Barnes was lying stiff on the sad excuse of a bed, his skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat making chunks of chestnut hair cling to his forehead, every last one of his muscles coiled and tightened in a painful looking way, his faced caught in a permanent grimace as if a knife he'd just been stabbed with wouldn't stop twisting. His metal arm at his side clutching at the icy air, the glint of a silver engagement ring visible against his silver finger. His eyes shut so tightly it looked like they might never open again. But maybe the most upsetting thing the unraveling man in front of Tony was the erratic gasping for air and angry or desperate or begging cries for something he couldn't give Bucky to save him from the images his mind was drowning him with.
Tony knew better than most not to wake a person caught in nightmare like this one. All he could do was watch the infamous man once known as the Winter Soldier writhe on a lonely cot in a freezing room miles away from the one person who might have been able to help him. And in that moment, just before he slipped back into sleep, Tony realized that maybe, just maybe, Steve didn't really mind helping to pick up the broken shards of someone as utterly fucked up as Bucky. Or even him. Maybe. Along with the realization he heard Ty's voice echoing in his head.
"How dare you compare yourself to Bucky. You're a spoiled brat who's fucked more people over than anyone. Bucky is the one who deserves a second chance, Bucky is the one who deserves Steve. Not you! Steve can heal Bucky because Bucky still has a soul somewhere in him. But you know what you'd do to Steve, don't you Tony? If he ever hated himself enough to take you back that is...you'd be ripping the wings right off an angel. After all that's what you do best. Taking something that could have been extraordinary and turning it into a lifeless fucking machine just like you. You make me so sick sometimes I can't stand it. You're lucky I love you, Tony. You really are."
"I know Ty. I know." Tony whispered into the darkness to nobody.
And with that, Tony wished Ty was with him as the hot tears rolled down the sides of his face and onto his pillow. He wanted so badly to be in the arms of the only man who could ever love a machine.