JEALOUSY

It's 2:36pm. Finn said he'd meet me at 2:30pm. Obviously something is wrong- and it's not me. I like to think that I'm a responsible teenager, so naturally I come on time. When I'm famous, I don't want my co-stars to think that I'm not punctual- I've read hundreds of articles that tardiness is a very unattractive trait in show business. And I will not be unattractive in any way possible.

Which leaves me to my current dilemma- Finn's apparent lack of time management. I usually overlook his flaws because that's how love works, but I'm pretty annoyed right now. I have ballet class at 6:30pm, and I usually arrive at the studio thirty minutes before (I need to claim my spot), and I cannot afford to be late.

He suggested that we should meet at the food court at the mall. I don't know about everyone else, but I think malls are so mediocre. There's not ONE vegan restaurant, the only fuzzy sweaters here are in the children's section, and there are more than enough slushie machines. And my fellow peers are here. With slushie machines nearby. I'm sure you get my point.

Impatient and worried, I tried calling him again. He didn't pick up. I already sent him 7 text messages and called him thrice… isn't that enough? It should be though. There's this new thing that I've been trying to do, it's called being a cool girlfriend. It's not like I can't do it, there's just this overwhelming feeling in my heart to make sure Finn is okay at all times. Others would say it's nagging but I like to think it's caring.

Just as I was about to call him again, I recognized a familiar tall guy. I smiled and prepared to give him a huge hug. But that affection quickly went away when I saw who he was with.

A frown came about as I saw Quinn walking beside him.

I always thought I would be the sensible girlfriend who allows her boyfriend to talk to other girls… but the display of the two of them laughing made me nauseous.

Finn smiled down at her and she smiled back. I was tempted to throw up or run away. But as I stated previously, I am trying to be a mature young woman and vomiting is not acceptable.

Instead, I plastered a fake smile and waved at them. And to my surprise (I expected Finn to push her away and run to me, apologizing), they waved back.

As they approached, I noticed how their outfits matched- dark blue shirts, and black pants. I refrained from pointing that out.

"Hi Rach." Finn greeted me, kissing me on the cheek.

Quinn smiled and embraced me.

If I wasn't raised to be a polite, young lady, I would've slapped both of them.

"Hello." I replied, raising my eyebrow slightly.

"I met Quinn at the parking lot, and she was gonna shop alone today..." Finn started.

I nodded, getting an idea of what he was going to say next.

"And, well- we're gonna hang out here today, right?"

I nodded again, forcing my facial expression to be calm.

"So I asked her if we could all go hang out. I mean, you and Quinn are okay now. And Quinn and I are okay now. And we weren't planning to do anything special, so yeah. She's gonna be with us today." Finn announced, smiling at me.

I genuinely appreciate Finn's good works, but most of time, he can be really insensitive. You do not hang out with your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend. That is entirely against all movie drama clichés! Good thing I'm an extremely talented actress- I don't mean to be conceited but if I were a normal person, I would've teared by now. I am able to control my emotions with ease (which I'm doing right now).

"That's fine." I manage to say.

Both Finn and Quinn smiled at me (even their names matched) and I forced a smile back.

After Finn dropped me at ballet class, I didn't hug or kiss him goodbye. I just waved at him (and he finally got that I was upset).

He called me when I was getting ready to watch 'Funny Girl'.

"Why are you mad at me?" Finn pleaded.

"I'm not mad at you." I answered coldly, opening the DVD case.

"Do you have your period again? He asked.

"No."

"Then why are you mad?"

I don't know, Finn. Maybe it's because you spent more time with Quinn than with me. Or maybe because you guys giggled together the whole time. I don't know.

I'm perfectly aware that I'm naturally not sarcastic, but when bitterness enters my heart, sarcasm is my default.

"I'm going to watch a DVD. Can we talk tomorrow?" I asked, my tone irritated.

"Is this because of Quinn? Because I can explain-"

"Please do."

"We're friends now." He said simply.

I didn't answer.

"Why don't you believe me?" he asked, his tone almost angry.

"Because it's Quinn!" I admitted.

"So what if it's Quinn?" he asked again, his tone most definitely angry.

"Forget it, Finn. You don't understand." I huffed.

"God, Rachel. This is so typical of you. Getting mad and not explaining. You just want to deal with it by yourself! Relationships don't work that way, okay? You're supposed to tell me why you're mad- you said that you're always honest with me, why can't you do that now?" He sounded tired.

I silently complied.

"This is how I work, okay? I- I don't like people getting close to me because they always end up hurting me. And I know you wouldn't do that intentionally, but it's my defense mechanism. I just don't want my heart to get broken again." I explained, my voice quiet (tears were forming in my eyes, and my voice cracks when I cry).

"Rach-" He started.

"It's not just that. I've always been a bit… jealous of Quinn. Not just because she's pretty and blonde and popular. I was always the second choice with you. Even with Puck." I laughed to myself. "It sounds so ridiculous. But I can't help it. Being dramatic is part of my nature. You should break up with me, you know. These random outbursts will come regularly."

"I won't break up with you." He said firmly. "And why do you keep comparing yourself to other people? Rachel, you're you. You're special. A bit more… unique than others-" I smiled. "But you're still special."

"I get scared." He kept quiet. "I don't like to show it because I'm always this ball of energy, but I feel it often." I paused to breathe. "But don't tell anyone, Finn. It might ruin my reputation." I joked.

"I won't." He promised.

"I'm afraid that I'm still you're second choice, or that maybe, you're pretending to love me. I know it sounds stupid, but those are my fears." He was about to say something but I interrupted. "Also, aliens abducting Kristen Chenoweth. And me losing my voice."

He laughed loudly, and that sound made me happy- it made me feel like he'll always be with me.

"You're crazy." I frowned. I was about to interject but he said, "I'll tell you something." My ears perked up.

"I've never been in love with Quinn." My breath hitched in my throat. "I mean I loved her, I guess- but I was never in love with her. Only you. Probably only you. I know I don't say this often, but you're really special to me. Not in a "you are unique" kind of way. But in a "you are amazing" kind of way." My smile was so big that my cheeks started to hurt. "I love you. Accept that. I'm not gonna leave or break up with you. So tell your fears to go away or something."

My heart almost exploded with happiness. Finn may not have the best vocabulary but he does have a way with words (and that's exactly what I needed to hear).

"Is you being silent a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked.

"I would give up my voice for a year for you."

"So it's a good thing?"

"Yes."

"So Quinn doesn't like you anymore?" I asked him again. We were on a bench in the park (it's kind of our thing).

He rolled his eyes, feeding me ice cream.

"Yes, Rachel. Quinn and I are just friends." He explained slowly.

I giggled, licking the ice cream off my lips.

"Is this chocolate? Dairy is bad for my throat and-" Finn gave me a look. I changed the subject.

"So Quinn wants to be single for now?" I asked eagerly.

He nodded, feeding himself ice cream.

"So you invited her to hang out with us yesterday because you think I should be her friend?"

He looked confused. "I never said that…"

I laughed and grabbed the spoon from this hand.

"I think that's the reason why." I scooped some ice cream and fed myself. "I mean, she needs friends, right?"

He nodded carefully.

"And I could be her friend!" I said enthusiastically.

"Okay." Finn patted my back. "Good luck with that."

"Hey! I could be her friend. Just watch me." I threatened jokingly.

He didn't respond, too absorbed in his ice cream.

I grabbed his hand and interlocked our fingers- a feeling so wonderful that even I can't explain it with words. So instead, I craned my neck and kissed him softly on the lips. It tasted like chocolate.

When Finn dropped me home, I opened my journal and wrote one new thing:

Be friends with Quinn Fabray

FIN

Author's Note:

For some strange reason, I don't have anything to say? (I usually do, this is a weird feeling for me)

Just thank you for all the favorite alerts and reviews- it really makes me smile, and it keeps me motivated.

This chapter is inspired by falafel90's review.

Seriously, I have nothing to say, this is really weird. Anyway.

Enjoy and have a great day gleeks! Also, I really appreciate feedback. *wink* But seriously, I know my Rachel can be be annoying and dramatic... but you guys like her, right? Is there some (even a little) emotional attachment? You don't even find her funny? Not even a little bit? I'm not asking for reviews (I'll update when I can even if there's no reviews) but I just need some feedback on my characters and story lines- I need you guys to do that so I can improve as a writer.

Okay. That is all.

P.S. I can guarantee that Rachel trying to be Quinn's friend will be funny. It probably won't be in the next chapter though. But it will come soon. :)