Steve carried Tony's things down to his car while Tony called Pepper to arrange for some SI engineers to clear out the lab and relocate everything back to Avengers Tower immediately. Because Pepper was Pepper the lab was cleared out within the hour- JARVIS and the bots too. As he walked out of the building for the last time he felt like he was almost worth something, he'd was sure that he'd forgotten what this felt like at all. He climbed into Steve brand new Volvo SUV, like really new, like Tony was almost positive this thing wasn't on the market yet new. A gift from Phil Coulson when Sylvia was born, called it a "business expense" and got SHEILD to foot the bill- it was parked in front of the hospital when they were ready to leave. Apparently, Tony already had formidable competition for Sylvie's love.
"Captain America driving a car that wasn't American made? Scandal!"
"No, this is Steve Rogers driving a car that has a high safety rating and was paid for by somebody else."
"Safety has come a long way since your day, Capsicle. What would you have even done back then? Driven with her in your lap?"
Steve bit his lip and checked the rearview mirror.
"Oh my God, what kind of insane home remedies and illusions of safety measures have you two old-timers been exposing her to?" Tony laughed but quickly stopped when Steve didn't.
Steve had his eyes firmly on the road, jaw tightened and his knuckles gripped the steering wheel so tightly they lost their color.
"Steve...I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought up-"
"No, its my fault, I'm really sorry. It doesn't happen as often lately but it's just...it hurts so badly to think about how he won't be around for...any of it. First word, first steps, first day of school. Every last little thing, he's not going to be here for it."
"Steve..."
"I don't know, I'm so fucking scared Tony. I can't do this alone. I know that I'm going to screw it up- I know I'm going to screw her up. I mean, even after years of being conditioned to be emotionless Bucky still never failed to light up the room and charm everyone who saw him. Happiness, confidence and Jesus, just emotions radiated off of him. And I don't know how to do that, Tony. I don't."
Tony could tell he wasn't finished, so he did what people didn't seem to think he was capable of. He just listened.
"For as long as I can remember, even before the war I've been focused and commanding and...and so Goddamned militant! Not nurturing or gentle or loving. I'm not cut out to be a parent. I was never meant to be a father and I sure as Hell was never meant to be one alone."
Tony sat silently, concentrating very hard on what to say next. What could he even offer without being a blatant hypocrite? He pretty much resigned himself to being a piece of meat in a wildly abusive relationship until literally just a few hours ago because that's what he wholeheartedly believes he deserves. He still can't see himself as worth much if anything at all regardless of "how many lives he's saved" or "all the irreplaceable contributions he's made to mankind". Not to mention he had no idea what a half-way decent father was even supposed to look like. There were still mountains of things Tony had to work on. Demons and abuse and fear that might never completely go away. But he did eventually find the words. The one thing he needed Steve to know.
"Well it's a damn good thing you're not alone then."
He reached over and took Steve's hand from its vice-grip on the steering wheel and rested it on the center console in his own. Steve squeezed back lightly and they held hands like that for the rest of the drive.
When they got to the tower the two of them brought all of Tony's stuff up to Steve's floor. Walking inside, Bucky's absence was palpable, everything was still and the air felt heavy. Steve had taken the majority of the photographs off the walls save for one in the living room of Bucky grinning his big goofy grin and one on Steve's nightstand of Bucky holding Sylvia for the first time. A good sign was that there were still plenty of framed pictures of Thor, Bruce, Clint, Tasha and a flattering amount of Tony.
"Knock, knock." The voice startled them both.
Turning around they saw Clint standing in the doorway with Sylvia and dressed to the nines.
"I'm actually heading out to meet my smoking hot girlfriend for dinner and as much as I love my niece, bringing a 10 week old baby to a date defeats every last purpose of a date."
Tony noticed Steve's shoulders loosen and his stance open up.
"Thanks for watching her, Clint. Tell Tasha I said thanks too."
"Anything you need, Cap." Clint grinned before peaking around Steve to see Tony.
"And we're all really glad you're home, Shellhead."
"Thanks, chirp." Tony couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from tugging upwards the tiniest bit.
The proximity of additional voices caused Sylvia to stir and come out of her nap, her big blue eyes landed right on Steve and she instantly started smiling and making gurgle noises as she reached her little hands out towards him. Steve relieved the archer of his babysitting duties by taking Sylvia from him.
Steve's entire face lit up the moment he had her in his arms. It was the first time Tony's seen him smile- really honest to God smile- since the day of the accident.
"Hey, baby girl. Miss me?"
Steve whispered as he swayed his body side to side in a soothing motion, holding her against his shoulder. Sylvia cooed at him in response and Steve's smile turned into a face-splitting grin.
"Daddy missed you too." He answered, kissing the top of her head.
Right then, as he watched Steve hold his daughter, the numb, atrophied sensation Tony had gotten used to went away for a minute and was replaced by something he couldn't fully put his finger on- but it felt a lot like belonging.