Rose gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on the 4th of June. He had big, shining blue eyes and unruly curls of dark hair, just like his father. She called him Anthony, which means "he adds or priceless". Which is true, he is priceless to her. Anthony is the only thing that reminds her of the Doctor; Her Doctor. She wasn't herself until she felt him move for the first time. In that moment, she realised that she wasn't just living for herself now, she was living for him. Her living, breathing, eating carbon copy of her lover.
The first few weeks after Anthony was born, she would just stare at his sleeping form, and cry. She would cry because when he slept, he looked so much like her Doctor. His peaceful face didn't look anything like her, and she was grateful. Anthony deserved to look like his father. Because he was a great man, who saved universes just with his word sand Rose wanted Anthony to be just like him. And she wished Anthony would somehow meet him, and realise what a great man his father was, and not resent him for leaving him and Rose.
He was a rather well behaved baby, only crying when necessary. But he rarely slept through the night, and that made Rose rather anxious. He would just stare at the solar system mobile that Jackie bought his the night he was born. He would stare and babble and giggle, reaching up, trying to touch the small, shining stars. It hurt Rose to the core that she lied to him in Bad Wolf Bay. That she said that their son was Jackie's and not hers. But he needed to save people, and he didn't need Rose or Anthony or Jackie or Pete. He had his companions and his TARDIS and the entire universe.
Pete held a huge affair for Anthony's first birthday. All of Pete's colleges were there. Rose would have liked to invite some of her friends, but she lived in a parallel universe now, and she didn't exist until a year and a half ago. So all of her London friends didn't know about her. She made a few friends, but none that she really connected with like she did with her friends. They all treated her like she was made of frail glass, treading carefully around the subject of "John", who was Anthony's father but dies in a car accident before Rose could tell him about their impounding joy. Jackie made up the elaborate lie when Rose invited a group of girls she met over for tea. And Rose was very grateful for her mother, because she really didn't want to talk about "John" to other people.
Most of Pete's workmate's knew that Anthony would be "different". He was the son of the last Time Lords. When he was a new born, they all wanted to conduct tests on him, to see if any of Anthony's added "qualities" could be useful. Pete shot down the idea immediately, saying that he is a precious gift that we all should cherish, and not to abuse their rights of working at Torchwood.
Anthony's first birthday was filled with lots of presents, food and people. Colleges would walk up to Rose and Anthony and coo at him, saying that his wide eyes looked like stars with the swirls of green and hazel through them. They would tickle his tummy and he would giggle furiously. He never once cried when people came up to him, just smiled and giggled at them. Most of his presents were generic things; toys and blankets and books, with a new crib from Jackie and Pete.
After everyone left and Rose was cleaning up, she found a small box lying in a pile of crumbled wrapping paper. Underneath the box was a card. "Jackie must have forgotten it when we were opening presents" Rose thought. But she had a nagging feeling in her gut that that wasn't the case. She opened the card with slightly shaky hands.
Rose,
you may not know me, but I know you. Well, more so about you.
He gloats so much about you, about how beautiful you were, how caring you were. He was so distant when I first met him. Then he told me about how you were pregnant. He said that you lied to him, saying that it was your mum's. He knew it wasn't, but he wanted me to thank you for doing it. Because he needed to know about his baby, but is grateful that you didn't tell him. Because he knew how much it would have hurt you to tell him.
He cried when he lost you Rose. Cried and cried.
He wants to know if you're happy. That you and the baby are safe and happy and are loved. He wants to know that you are protected.
In the box is a gift that he gave me to give to you and the baby. It was his when he was younger, and he wanted for you and his child to have it. He said it reminded him of his childhood. And he wanted you to have it so it reminded you of him.
He loves you Rose. So much. And your baby. Please don't forget about him. He misses you so much, you can see it eating him up inside.
Don't try to find me Rose, I'll find you.
Martha Jones.
Rose had tears running down her nose and dropping onto the cards. She was sobbing and heaving so much her entire back ached and her forehead ached from frowning. Her breath was so erratic she thought she was going to start hyperventilating. She sat on the ground and continued crying. He found her. He actually found her and Anthony. She laughed through the tears and started to calm her breathing down. Once she had calmed down, and her breathing had regulated a fair bit, she opened up the small box. It was a small necklace, with small delicate circular patterns carved into the bottom piece. She recognised the pattern, it was Circular Gallifreyan. She remembers the Doctor telling her about it. It was the language of his people. He had given her something of his childhood, his home. There was a small matching broach with it too. She made a mental note to place it in Anthony's room; so he always had a piece of his father with him.
She put on the necklace and called Jackie into the room. She saw her daughter's state and ran over to her.
"Oh, sweetheart, what happened?" Jackie asked, her voice filled with concern.
Rose didn't say anything in return, just handed her mother the letter. She left her mother to her own devices and went to check on Anthony. As she walked into his room, she noticed that he wasn't asleep like he should be. He was staring at the star mobile. The glittering of the stars refracting onto the walls around the crib. Just staring. Rose walked over to the cot and cooed at him, and he giggled in return.
"You should be asleep, little dove." She whispered.
Anthony just giggled and gestured to Rose for her to pick him up. She did, and he rested his small head on the hollow of her shoulder. His unruly curls tickled her cheek and chin and she gave out a breathy laugh. She rubbed his back, trying to lull him into sleep.
"Daddy left you a birthday present. It's beautiful. I'll tell you about him when you're older. You'll love him Tony, I know you will. Happy Birthday baby boy." Rose could feel his small, even breaths hitting her shoulder. She craned her neck and kissed him on the forehead before laying him down in his crib. She pulled up his blankets and turned the light off in his room. She wanted to let the Doctor know that both Rose and Anthony were loved and cared for and had protection.
Rose's feet padded down the hallway into her bedroom. She changed out of her dress and slipped into her pyjamas. She crawled into bed and let out a tired sigh. She turned out the light that was sitting on the bed side table, and for the first time in almost two years, Rose Tyler went to sleep without pain clouding her heart.
XxX
A/N: I hope you enjoy and if you did, it would be lovely if you could review!