"What the Hell is Ferberizing?"
Steve was normally a very patient man but right now Tony Stark was standing directly in between him and his little girl. He'd gotten out of bed before anyone else and had taken the chance to go down to the gym before Sylvia woke up. When he came back she was crying her little eyes out just over Tony's shoulder and Tony wouldn't move.
"'Ferberizing' is teaching her to soothe herself. To be less dependent on you."
"She can't even lift her own head up, Tony! She's supposed to be dependent on me!"
"You can't run in there and pick her up every single time she cries."
"Keep your new age hippie parenting away from my child, you heathen." Steve jabbed a finger at him and Tony simply could not keep up a straight face anymore.
He started cracking up as he stepped aside to let Steve through. Of course he would never let the little girl be unhappy as long as he was still breathing. He just happened to hear Sylvia waking up at the same time JARVIS told him that Steve was in the elevator. There was an opportunity and he seized it! Honestly, the baby was crying for no more than a minute and she was perfectly content now that someone picked her up.
"You should have seen your face! And did you really just call me a heathen?"
"Very funny, I can't even contain my laughter right now." Steve said dryly as he looked at Tony thoroughly unamused.
"Well, I have to catch you up on all the child-rearing fads you missed when you were an ice-cube." Tony wasn't even trying to hide the shit-eating grin on his face.
Sylvia reached out her hand and patted Steve's chest, something she'd started doing when she wanted his attention.
"Oh man, Spangles...and you somehow thought you weren't going to the best parent who ever parented. God, its so cute when you're wrong." Tony smirked as they walked to the kitchen.
Tony also took the liberty of noticing that Steve was blushing. Not salmon, not pink, not magenta. Red. Obvious, adorable, Iron Man suit red. It was great. The two men sat at the kitchen table enjoying their respective bowls of gourmet Cheerios, flown in directly from...wherever the Hell Cheerios are made. Tony fed Sylvia who was being especially picky about her bottle this morning while Steve made them both coffee.
"Sirs, the others are requesting that you turn on your television."
"Bah!" Sylvia responded to the voice in the ceiling.
"Good morning to you as well young miss Sylvia." The two were quickly becoming friends.
Setting his coffee mug down, Steve sighed before speaking.
"If its another AARP, nursing home or LifeAlert commercial, I'm punching Clint in the face."
"I believe this particular program does require your attention Captain." JARVIS replied as he turned on the TV in the living room.
Tony's breath hitched when he heard the voice in the other room.
"I just don't know why this is all happening..."
Steve recognized it in the same moment and the three of them were on the couch in record time. On the screen was Tiberius Stone being interviewed on Good Morning America.
"Oh no..." Tony whispered, his stomach dropping.
"Oh no? What oh no?" Steve asked taking his daughter from the distressed man next to him.
"Ty's company owns almost every major media outlet in the country..."
Steve's lips pursed before he turned back to the TV.
"So are you telling us that Tony Stark left you immediately following the paralysis?"
"Sadly yes, Robin. Tony is an amazing man but he doesn't possess the emotional ability to care for someone who's endured a life-altering trauma like this."
"Looking at Tony Stark's history it hardly seems like he has the emotional ability to even care for himself." added Robin. That bitch.
"I wish I could disagree."
Tiberius made a point to draw attention to his victimization and Tony knew better than anyone that it would work.
"Before you came on today, Tiberius, you told our producers that you knew the identity of your assailant the moment you came to in the hospital."
"I know who put me in this wheelchair, Robin. Beyond the shadow of a doubt."
"And who was it?"
"Captain America."