A/N: I was bored one night and, well, this happened. This is not tied to my other story Tick-Tock in any way, it's just a random oneshot. Not to be taken seriously. A bit of Doctor!whump though.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters.
At first it was only small things; rotten bananas in the galley, sugar replaced with salt, or hot water switched to cold. Not much more than he expected, but then it got worse.
He found all his pinstriped brown suits replaced with orange and moss green. All his ties had bleach stains in them and his oxfords were one size too tight.
After that, it was rotten milk and spoiled eggs in the fridge.
And then his hair gel went missing.
But none of that compared to what he experienced from his passengers.
Mickey avoided him like a plague; staying everywhere out of sight. Not that the Doctor really noticed.
However, it was the Doctor's other passenger's absence that was scaring him a bit. He could only remember a few times when he saw Rose after they had left the spaceship.
After 18th century France.
She gave him space after he shut her out that night. Problem was that he didn't want space anymore, but Rose was still nowhere to be found. He felt her presence at the back of his mind, but it was completely muddled and he could only put that down as another punishment, courtesy of the TARDIS.
And not having Rose around really was punishment enough, but the TARDIS didn't think so.
Nor did Rose.
Whenever he saw Rose, her face was cool and detached, a mirror image of the one he gave right after he returned to the TARDIS that night after France.
She was cold to him.
Rose Tyler was never cold to anyone; she was kind and forgiving.
But not this time it seemed.
Not to him, at least.
And that, the Doctor decided, was the worst.
He tried and tried to get her to talk to him, but it was like talking to a wall.
No change in her expression, no change in her mood.
She must have been beyond angry, but he really couldn't tell because her presence was silent in his head.
And it hurt.
Far worse than he could have imagined.
When he was in the galley one morning, cooking bacon and eggs, he asked if she would like any. The Doctor had hoped that since it was still early morning, and she wasn't fully awake yet, that Rose might let some emotion show.
Well, he got what he wanted; just not the way he wanted it.
She declined his offer vehemently. He asked if she was sure and she shot him a dirty look. Rose had only one thing to say to him before she left with her morning tea.
"I hope your breakfast burns."
And it did.
Along with his tie, after he leaned over the pan too much. Oh well, it was one of the bleach stained ones anyway.
Rose's cold temperament continued as they traveled from place to place, with no change.
He was about to start begging at her feet if it continued any longer. What was the Doctor without his Rose?
He wanted, no, needed her to forgive him.
He was a git, a prat, a flat out arsehole. And he knew it, but still, she kept her distance from him.
The TARDIS, on the other hand, was slowly beginning to forgive him, but not Rose. He was losing sleep, he forgot to shave in the morning sometimes, and even wore two different colored trainers.
He was a mess.
Finally he broke down and begged her to forgive him. He would do anything.
"Anything?" she questioned.
He should have seen the warning signs right then and there, but he was too far gone to care any longer.
She asked him to take them back to the Powell Estate and at first he panicked, believing that she would leave him. She told him that if he wanted her forgiveness, he needed to take them there. He gave in and set coordinates for London.
As soon as they landed, Rose grabbed him by the tie and dragged him out of the TARDIS. For a moment, he thought he distinctly heard his ship laughing manically at him, apparently knowing something he didn't and he dreaded what was to come.
Rose tugged him into her Jackie's flat, where said owner was waiting for them with a fierce expression on her face.
Oh. Oh no.
Rose, please no, anything but that.
He'd take her shopping anywhere she wanted and wouldn't complain a bit. They could spend a week at a spa planet, anything but Jackie.
Unfortunately, his pleas fell on deaf ears and he took his punishment with as much dignity that he had at that moment, which really wasn't much.
The first few slaps didn't hurt as much as the sixth and seventh, when his face was starting to feel rather raw.
Later, he sat in his ship with a swollen face and a smug TARDIS laughing gleefully in his head.
Rose looked much happier, though. If that was a plus to having Jackie Tyler slap him until the color of his face resembled that of a boiled lobster.
Or that he possibly had a nasty allergic reaction to something, but considering that it was Jackie that slapped him, it might not be too far off the mark.
He apparently said those last few thoughts out loud, this time earning him a good smack from Rose.
He then made a vow to never leave Rose behind on a spaceship in the 51st century ever again, or on any spaceship other than his own.
Rose finally forgave him, but on one condition.
He tried so hard not to move as the masseuses rubbed the viscous mud, or whatever it was supposed to be, into his very naked skin as Rose recorded the whole thing from the corner of the room.
Giggling, she warned him if he ever did anything like that again, she would show her mother this video and narrate it in graphic detail.
He gulped.
Finally, she gave him her tongue-touched smile and kissed the only remaining patch of skin on his cheek not covered in gunk.
And that's when the Doctor realized how wrapped around Rose Tyler's little finger he really was, but really, he wouldn't have it any other way.