To be with you Forever- Damon Salvatore/OC
Chapter 20- I should hate you.
Summary: I knew he was going to kill me, This was Damon Salvatore, this could never end well and yet I couldn't stay away, the truth is, I didn't want to. Damon/OC
Fan! I mean Sensuale! You got an account! Yes! XD That makes me happy! And in reply to something you said in your latest review.. I don't need a break! I'll go crazy!
This chapter is for all of my dedicated reviewers- obviously Sensuale, Azure-eyed soul, mandi575, XxanimecutiexX and any others who regularly review, sorry if you weren't mentioned, I'm listing by memory and cant be bothered to go to my reviews as I'm not yet signed on! I'm evil I know! Sorry! Hope you enjoy!
"Guys, I'm going to go home" I said, just fifteen minutes after Elena placed my drink in front of me, the mood had soured marginally, at least for me it had, I didn't know whether to feel angry, or completely broken. I didn't know whether to stalk over there and hit him with something hard or cry at his feet. It was ridiculous and I couldn't enjoy any girl time when he was so close, quietly mocking me just with his presence.
"Kaye! You don't have to go." Elena, said, eyes pleading.
"No, I know, I want to. Sorry, I just," I glanced towards the bar, "you understand."
She frowned and reluctantly nodded. Asking me if I would like a lift at the same time Caroline asked, "What am I missing here?"
"No, I'm okay, I think I would rather walk, I need some air."
"Are you sure?" she asked, still standing with me, I nodded and shot her a small smile as Caroline whined, "What is happening?"
"I'll see you on Monday." I said to the group collectively pulling on my coat and grabbing my school bag that I'd brought inside with me. Each said their respective goodbyes, Caroline still frowning in confusion and I meandered my way through the ever busying grill, it seemed Friday night was a good time for hanging with friends. At least for those who were blissfully unaware of the existence of vampires.
I breathed in deeply the cool air as I closed the door behind me, buried my hands into my pockets and turned left, towards the direction of my house. After I'd put the grill a few minutes behind me, I stopped and said aloud, "I wasn't sure if you would follow me."
"I did." his voice said, after a few minutes of silence.
I swallowed, bit my lip, considered walking away, stood still where I was.
"Yeah."
"So, Elena said that you remember everything." he said, as I turned towards him, he was a few feet away, almost just a shadow, I couldn't see his face, so I couldn't see any expressions or gouge any reactions.
I hesitated, at a complete loss for words, "Yeah."
No one said anything for a while, "Kaye.."
"Damon." I interrupted, "I should hate you."
My statement was met with silence, I didn't like that, I was so used to his smart arse comments, arrogance, witty remarks, obviously, this was not the best conversation for those but I expected something at least.
"I wanted to, all week, I was going over and over my newly acquired memories, you know the ones of you" I lowered my voice as a couple walked by, eyeing us suspiciously, "draining my blood, the ones I conveniently forgot."
Once the couple had passed, I raised my voice to normal level again, "I kept dreaming about it, remembering it, the pain, the fear that I felt over and over and I know that you probably don't give a damn, you didn't even bat an eyelash, but I was hurt. I felt, I feel, betrayed and angry, I trusted you and all along you were just using me as a meal."
I still couldn't see his face and he hadn't moved an inch, if I didn't know any better I would have thought I was talking to a statue. When had it gotten so dark outside?
"But then Elena told me about you and your past about.. About Katharine," I noticed him stiffen ever so slightly, "and the tomb, Bonnie being a witch, everything, and I was struggling with myself, trying to hate you, or being angry at you." I took a step towards him, then another, until I could see his face, he was expressionless as I'd thought he would be.
"As much as I told myself I should be angry, I should hate you, the truth is.. I pity you." He frowned, and raised an eyebrow.
"Katharine. She messed you up, she toyed with your heart, then she broke it and I pity you for that. I just want to know one thing."
"What?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest.
"Why me?"
He raised an eyebrow again and I noticed the smirk return to his face, "Why me?" I repeated.
"Wrong place wrong time I guess" he smirked, "You smelt good, you looked good. Why not?"
I clenched my jaw. Why was he being deliberately hurtful? He wasn't like this. Or maybe he was, now I knew what he was, he didn't have to pretend, and this is what he was like all the time. I started to feel angry again, my hands started shaking, I wanted to cry, I hated people like that. People who played on your emotions. His eyes bore into mine and I waned to scream. Instead I did something I hadn't planned, I drew back my hand that had at some point removed itself from my jacket pocket, a slapped him. Hard, across the cheek. He blinked in shock and I stumbled back, eyes wide, "I'm s-sorry." I stammered, immediately realising that it was a very bad idea, it would have been stupid if he were human, after all he seemed like the sort of guy to lash out. It was probably even more stupid to have slapped a vampire.
He raised a hand to his cheek, tracing the hand print lightly, he shot an icy glare my way, and growled, "Did you just hit me?"
I swallowed, "Um, I didn't mean to."
I watched him closely, what was he going to do? Would he hit me back? Rip out my throat? Kill me? Feed from me again? I waited for his face to change in some way, preferably not in the vampiric way. At first there was nothing, just the anger in his eyes, then his face changed, his mouth quirked slightly, his eyes warmed and a small noise escaped his lips. At first I didn't quite understand, then I realised he was chuckling, no laughing, full blown laughter. I looked at him incredulously, was this some kind of joke? Was he going to jump me at any moment?
"Are you laughing?" I asked, "Why are you laughing?"
Once he's composed himself, I ignored the fact that his laughter was probably one of the most beautiful things I'd ever heard, he took a step towards me and ran a hand down my hair, another unexpected move, one that caused a hitch in my breath, whether from fear or something else I couldn't be sure anymore.
"You're feisty. I knew there was a reason I kept you alive." he mused.
"Stefan said it was because my blood tasted good." I squeaked and he began backing me against the wall. Oh God, what now? He stopped, both of his hands flat against the wall, looking down on me, I hadn't realised just how tall he really was.
"Oh it does." he whispered, "and it smells," he sniffed deeply, if I didn't know what he was that would have been extremely creepy, "delicious."
"Okay," I whispered, making no attempt to move, he'd only stop me anyway, I couldn't stop my voice form choking, my breath from coming in short little gasps.
He lowered his face, not to my own but to my hair, my neck, shit shit shit shit I chanted through my mind, eyes widening at the thought of him being anywhere near that area, again.
"Are you scared?" his voice asked, hot breath on my neck.
I nodded, "Yes."
"Good." I could feel his body pressed against mine, my own chest heaving, I wasn't sure if that was al to do with fear though, or if my body was reacting this way by its own accord. I also realised that if anyone was to walk past we'd simply look like lovers, two kids who cant get enough of each other, instead of what this really was, some stupid egomaniac vampire trying, and succeeding, to scare me, "So why aren't you trying to run?"
I tried to ignore the tingle his breath left on my skin, or the loud sniff as he ran his nose from below my ear to the base of my shoulder. I also tried to ignore the fact that it was kind of sexy in a terrifying, I must be a complete masochist kind of way.
"Because I trust you" I said with conviction, grimacing inwardly as I reminded myself of every single one of those ridiculous human love interests in the vampire stories. Besides, I want even a love interest, I was a past meal.
He laughed again, but this time there was a slight bitter edge to it, a self depreciating frequency.
"You shouldn't" I tensed as his mouth moved closer to my neck, bracing myself for the sharp pain that I remembered so clearly now, but it never came, instead I felt a soft peck before he pulled away, frowning.
"I'm sorry Edward Cullen," I mumbled, slightly annoyed that he had moved so far away. He frowned again, grumbling something about being so much cooler than Edward Cullen and I laughed, feeling at ease, like we'd crossed some kind of threshold, covered some ground.
"Your stupid." I opened my mouth to argue, but he continued, "and reckless, I mean how many times are you going to go out in the dark with a dangerous, devastatingly handsome vampire like me?"
I scoffed and turned serious, "Just so you know, I'm still pissed at you."
"Then maybe your not completely stupid." I grinned.
"So what now?" I asked, a question it seemed I'd been asking numerous times lately.
He sighed, "Now, you stay away from me and I try my cotton pickin' hardest not to kill you."
"What?" I frowned.
"You heard." He started to walk away and I could feel myself getting a headache again, this guy had more mood swings than a friggin' pregnant woman.
"No. I." I went after him, "Why are you messing with me like this? I don't care what you are, I told you I trust you and I do. Despite everything." He ignored me and carried on walking, I grabbed at his arm and cried, "Stop doing this!"
The next thing happened to quickly for me to really understand it, one minute I was stood there, latched onto his arm and the next I was pushed against the wall again, rough pain shooting down my back, his hands wrapped roughly around my shoulders, his face was angry, but still human.
"Damon," I spluttered, wincing as the pain shot down my back.
"Do you know what its like?" he roared, "Those vampires got out of the tomb and they don't give a damn for human life, I haven't been able to hunt a human in a long time, just to get the council of mine and Stefans trail. Trust me, animals do not sustain us very well. I'm hungry and cranky and your blood tastes damn good, better than most, so don't push me!" he let me go, leaving me panting against the wall, he lowered his voice, mumbling, "I cant even remember the last time I ate properly."
I took a deep breath, calming myself, slowing my heart, quelling the panic that had washed over me when he'd pinned me to the wall for the second time in the same amount of minutes. To be honest, it was getting old.
But I knew what I was going to do. It was probably stupid, and yes, reckless, which made it a completely Kaye thing to do as my dad would say, Damon himself had called me the same things not long ago.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly, not daring to touch him as I pulled a hair pin from my head, "I didn't mean to make you angry, I just, I'm so confused, It's still sinking in, I don't know how to act around you now that I know what you really are."
I stepped around in front of him, searching his eyes beseechingly, "I don't want to stay away from you, its probably going to sound completely cliché and ridiculous but even though I know I shouldn't and people keep telling me I shouldn't. I care about you."
He stiffened as my hands ceased their movements, realisation dawning, "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice more of a groan.
"Proving something."
He breathed deeply as his eyes found the small line of blood that I had caused on my wrist, "What could you possibly prove by doing that?"
"A lot of things, that I'm not scared of you, that you wont kill me." Hopefully, I added mentally, "That I'm extremely stupid and reckless." my last comment didn't derive a laugh and I hadn't expected it to. I raised my wrist towards him, lending him a small smile and whispered, "It's okay."
His hands grabbed my arm roughly, one on the elbow, the other my hand, holding me still, I couldn't move even if I'd wanted to, which I found that I really didn't. His eyes left mine, found the blood and his face changed, this time, since I'd been expecting it, it didn't come as such a shock. The change was as drastic as the last time, but I didn't struggle or pull away, this was still Damon. Sure he hadn't exactly given me any reason to trust him but what the hell I did anyway.
He drew my wrist to his mouth, eyes finding mine again, baring his teeth, I flinched and sucked in air, as they grazed the skin, and he bit down, gentler than before, my fingers clenched and my hand fisted as I felt the blood leaving my body into his mouth. Had I been watching this on television I would have cringed and changed the channel, but here it was real, personal and not half as bad as I'd expected.
His grip tightened on my arm, hurting now. "Damon." I gasped, "Damon, you're hurting me. Ah, Ow, Damon."
His eyes found mine again, and he pulled away groaning as if it had taken all of his resolve. "See." I whispered, holding the bitten wrist in my other hand.
"Why did you do that?" he asked, sinking down to the ground, his leather coat scraping down the wall.
"I don't know." I answered honestly, "But I'm still here."
Damon nodded, swallowed, and said, "Lets get you home."
Once we'd made it to a road just a few away from mine, Damon left abruptly, but not before he pulled me close to him, hands on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head gently, something I would never had expected from him. "Thank you" he whispered gently. I nodded, and he was gone before I could react in anyway. As I continued down my road, holding on to my wrist that thankfully was no longer bleeding I collided with another body, something I did a lot these days it seemed.
"Oh, I'm sorry" the man said, he had close cropped, sandy coloured hair and a charming grin.
"My bad," I replied, making to walk past.
"What did you do to your wrist girlie?" he asked, eyes on the wound, I covered it further.
"I, uh, I fell" I lied badly and I knew he didn't believe me, "I have to get home."
"What's your name?" he asked, a hand on my arm, stilling me.
"Kaye, Kaye Holt."
"It's a pleasure Kaye, I'm John Gilbert."
"Gilbert? Are you related to Elena?" I asked, or not, her adoptive family at least.
"I am, I'm her uncle, you know her?"
"I do, I go to school with her."
"Well," he grinned, "If you feel the need to tell me what really happened there, I'll be sure to listen."
I stared after him as he walked away, I had a feeling that for whatever reason, he wasn't a good person.
Hope that wasn't to Twilightish =S and the Edward joke is just me taking the piss, I love Twilight, though I am a Jasper person all the way!
The blood part actually came from something that Sensuale said in her latest review, not actually planned but yeah =]
Please review and let me know if there are improvements, mistakes or good things =] thank you =]
Hope you enjoyed, next chapte
r up soon =]