A Sacrifice too Far?
Disclaimer: Last chapter and I still don't own anything. Well nothing of relevance anyway.
Here it is the final chapter of my first multi shot story. Thanks to all those who have reviewed especially Sam1 for beta reading it and Loopsta for helping me with ideas. You two are brilliant.
Chapter 8: Letting go
Scott limped around the pool and collapsed onto the nearest sun lounger. How could a two minute walk tire him out so much? Of course, he knew the answer to that. It had only been a couple of days since he was shot in the leg and had almost died but it didn't mean he wasn't frustrated.
He also knew there was big chat coming up and he definitely wasn't looking forward to that one. A sound nearby alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone. Scott knew instinctively who was approaching and knew that the wait was finally over. He glanced over at the path leading to the beach and wondered whether it would be possible to reach it and escape.
"You wouldn't even make it round the pool," said a voice and his father appeared before him.
"Worth a try," muttered Scott as he gave up and accepted that this conversation was happening.
"You may not want this, Son, but you need it," replied Jeff, sitting down beside his eldest. He knew this conversation was not going to be easy but he had been expecting it for a while. Scott needed to get all of his pain and anger out.
"You sound like a shrink," muttered Scott, still trying to avoid the conversation.
Jeff could see that he would have to start this conversation himself. "Are these doubts because of the last few rescues or does it go back further than that?"
Scott hesitated for a moment. Was it just the last few rescues or did it stem back further? That was something he wasn't sure of. "I don't know," he admitted, honestly. "The last few rescues have been so bad that I don't think we are really doing enough anymore. Maybe this world doesn't need International Rescue anymore?"
"There will always be bad rescues and there will always be times when the best you can give won't be enough but it's not a reason to just pack it all in. What about all the times when rescues do go well. Think about all the lives that have been saved so far and the many more that will be saved in the future."
"Doesn't change the fact that we have failed all those people who died in the last few rescues," retorted Scott, angrily.
"Are you questioning your own judgment, Scott? Have the decisions you have made on those rescues been wrong?" questioned Jeff, already knowing the answer but needing Scott to admit it.
"I'm not sure. Maybe if we had got there sooner or had started in different areas, we could have saved more lives."
"Or lost more. Scott, you cannot live in the what-ifs, they will destroy you. I trust in you and have faith that in every one of those rescues you made the right decisions. No matter how hard we try there will always be some people you can't save," explained Jeff, putting every ounce of honesty into his words that he could.
"I know that but just recently it seems like all we are doing is pulling out bodies," replied Scott, turning away from his Father.
"That's still a very important thing, Scott. In fact it is one of the most important things you can do," said Jeff, passionately. Scott just nodded but Jeff could tell his son couldn't see the true importance of it.
Jeff stood up and moved away slightly. His eyes focused on the still waters of the pool as he spoke his next words. "When your mother died it was a long time before she was actually found. I knew there was no way she could be alive but without seeing her, I wouldn't truly accept it. The rescuers worked long into that night and would have given up sooner but I wouldn't let them. I had to have her back. I needed that closure and I needed to bury her somewhere we could all visit," Jeff paused, as his mind was flooded with memories of his late wife.
Scott sat in silence watching as his father stared off into the distance. This was the first time he had ever talked about their Mother's death. He knew his father still found it hard to talk about Lucy and avoided the subject as much as he could. On the rare occasions he did, it showed a completely different side of him.
Finally, Jeff turned back round to his son. "It may not seem like much but recovering those bodies can mean everything to the families. Do you remember my old friend Jerry Christen?"
"Weren't you two in space together?" asked Scott, wondering what on earth that had to do with anything.
"Yes, we were and stayed in touch when I left. When you were about ten, Jerry's wife went missing. Eventually, a man confessed to abducting and killing her. Enough evidence was found to prove he had done it but he refused to give up where she was. Jerry tried everything to find her including begging her murderer to give up the location but he refused. A year later he was killed in a prison riot." Jeff stopped as he thought about those days. Jerry had been devastated and there was nothing Jeff could say to help him. He could understand the loss but at least he knew Lucy was at peace and had been properly buried.
"So, she has never been found?" queried Scott. He only had vague memories of Jerry and he couldn't even remember his wife.
"No and now the murderer is dead, there is little chance she will ever be found. It's killing Jerry not being able to give her a proper burial," replied Jeff, moving to sit down beside his son once more.
"That's why you have always insisted we help with the recovery if we can," stated Scott, now understanding his Father's insistence.
"Yes, it is. If we can stop others going through that pain then at least we achieve something during a bad rescue," replied Jeff, smiling as his son nodded in understanding. He could see that he was getting through to his son now and perhaps Scott would start to see their worth once more. "Scott, I need to ask you something now?"
"Yeah?"
"This job requires 100% commitment and you have to whole heartedly believe in what it does. You cannot have doubts in a job like this or they will destroy you. You have to believe in the good that we do and accept that there are just some people who cannot be saved. I need to ask if you can do that, Son, because I don't want it to destroy you, you mean too much to me," Jeff paused and waited for the response. He couldn't deny that he was actually scared of what Scott might say.
Scott opened his mouth to respond and then closed it again. Was this what he wanted? Could he still commit to it whole-heartedly? His eyes wandered out across the island as he pondered the question. He had never thought that he would end up in this position. He loved his job and helping people but he missed doing all the normal stuff. He thought back over everything his Father had said and he knew what his choice would be. As much as he loved the idea of a normal life, he couldn't just give up being Field Commander. It was a big part of who he was. "I can still do it, Dad," he replied with true determination.
Jeff breathed a sigh of relief, knowing by his son's eyes that he meant every word. "Just because you are a member of International Rescue doesn't mean you couldn't have a family one day, Scott."
Scott stared at his Father in surprise. It was the last thing he expected him to say. "It's not exactly easy to do that though is it?" he muttered.
"Perhaps not but if you meet or have met someone you could see spending the rest of your life with then we can talk about it." Jeff remembered his earlier conversation with Virgil and knew that some of Scott's doubts were linked to the ex-girlfriend who had married recently.
"What makes you think I have met someone already?" asked Scott, suspicious of his Father's words. It then dawned on him that Jeff must have known about Emma, which meant Virgil had told him. "I'm going to kill him," he muttered under his breath.
"No, you're not. He was worried about you and under the circumstances; he had every right to be. You should have told us how you were feeling, Scott. Bottling up your feelings never helps."
Scott lowered his head and stared at the ground beneath him. "I know."
Jeff placed his hand on his son's shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I know as a big brother you don't like to burden them with your problems but you can always talk to me, Son."
Scott looked up at his Father and smiled. "I know that too and I will try more," he replied honestly.
"That's all I ask. Well, that and no more trying to give me a heart attack," he said, standing up. "I must have been mad having five boys," he added.
Scott grinned and stood up beside his father. "Oh, you love it really. After all without us, whose gonna look after you when you're old?"
Jeff returned the grin, adding, "I'm sure I could find someone."
"I guess I better go find Virgil then," replied Scott, his grin fading at the thought.
"Don't be too hard on him. He's taking events of the last few days harder than he is letting on." Even with the talk he'd had with Virgil, he knew his middle son was still struggling to take in everything that had happened.
Scott nodded and limped back towards the villa. His thoughts moved to where his younger brother would be. If his Father was right and Virgil was suffering then he would be on his own somewhere. His first stop, however, would be his room for some more painkillers. His leg was really starting to hurt again and he could tell it would be a few more days before the pain finally eased off. Though, of course, if anyone asked him then he would deny it. Quickly swallowing the pills, he decided to head to the silo for Thunderbird Two.
Entering the silo, he paused and stared at the huge craft. Although, Thunderbird One would always be his favourite there was something awe inspiring about Two.
"She still takes my breath away," said a voice to his left and he turned to see Virgil.
"I think she always will," replied Scott, moving over to where his brother stood. It was evident that Virgil had just finished cleaning his baby.
"You okay, bro?" asked Virgil, studying Scott closely. He could see a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and he looked a little pale.
Scott rolled his eyes. He had been asked that question so many times. He gave the standard answer, knowing that Virgil probably wouldn't believe him anyway. "I'm fine."
"Uh-huh, sure you are," replied Virgil. He'd expected an answer like that but it would be nice, if just for once, he could have been honest. Virgil knew he wasn't fine and he knew that Scott was still taking his pain medication, which told him that his brother was still in a lot of pain. Scott hated taking any form of medication and would stop as soon as he could.
Scott ignored his brother's comment, knowing they had more important things to discuss. "I can't believe you told Dad about Emma," he said in annoyance.
Virgil looked guiltily away. He had been waiting for this moment. "I didn't mean to, it just sorta came out."
"Well, it shouldn't have," retorted Scott, his anger building.
Virgil felt himself getting angry. "Well, I'm sorry that I was too busy worrying that you were going to die to watch what I was saying. Next time I'll keep my mouth shut." He then turned and stormed away from his older brother.
"Ah hell," said Scott and he limped off after Virgil. He now understood what his Father had meant when he warned Scott to go easy on Virgil.
Virgil stopped at the other end of the silo. As much as he wanted to leave, he still had a lot of work to do. Thunderbird Two had received some slight damage on their last rescue due to a landslide so he had some minor repairs to do. He heard Scott approaching and groaned.
"I'm sorry, Virge," he said and watched as his brother paused but didn't turn around. "I told you about Emma in confidence and I didn't expect you to go tell Dad. But I guess I also didn't expect what happened to me, to affect you so much. I should have known you wouldn't just tell him for nothing," continued Scott and he finally got a reaction from his younger brother.
"Yeah, you should have," replied Virgil, spinning round to face his brother. "And why would you think that you almost dying wouldn't affect me? You're not just my big brother, Scott. You're my best friend and the one person who knows everything about me," he paused and then sighed.
Scott said nothing as he could tell his brother had more to say. He watched as Virgil sat himself down on the floor and then joined him. They could do with some chairs in here. "When I saw you lying on that bed, I knew you were right and this job was not worth it. I could easily have quit there and then," he said finally.
"What stopped you?" asked Scott.
"Dad. After I stormed out of your room he came after me and we talked everything through."
Scott was surprised that Virgil lost his temper, as his younger brother was not known for violent outbursts. His anger came out through his art or music. He let that pass for a moment and moved onto the bigger issue. "You don't anymore do you?" he asked.
Virgil shook his head as he responded. "No. What about you?"
"I don't either. Like you, Dad helped me to see the worth in what we do," replied Scott and he knew that he meant every word of that.
"And Emma?"
"Is married to someone else. Plus, she never sent that letter so there's nothing to say she actually feels that way," replied Scott. Although a part of him would always wonder about her, he had to move on. His hand then pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket. Keeping it hidden from Virgil, his eyes read the number written on it.
"You should call her," said Virgil, standing up.
"Call who?" asked Scott, suddenly wondering if he had missed a chunk of their conversation.
"Kate, whose number is written on that paper in your hand," replied Virgil with a grin as he moved off to finish clearing up.
"How do you know it's her number?" asked Scott, quickly shoving the paper into his pocket.
Virgil turned back and grinned again. "I saw her give it to you." He turned back and walked away, leaving Scott to pull out the paper once more.
"Maybe I will," he replied, softly to himself and then hobbled slowly after his brother.
The End.
Well for now anyway. I do have a sequel lined up if you would like one. Thank you to everyone who read my story especially those who reviewed it. Big thanks to Sam for beta reading this. You're brilliant honey.