Count it Up

by ReadyForTeddy

The Industrial Revolution is in full swing, and Ness & Lucas are ready for the winter term at Onett Boarding School. But when a variety of horrifying, unexplainable events start to take place, it becomes apparent that everything's about to change.

6. Chapter 6 - In Health

Prologue: B.H Pirkle

His hands surround my neck, forcing me against my favourite wall. My world is dark, cacophonous, and blurred. There is a low, inhuman growl coming from his throat, powerful and all-consuming, because I am insignificant. To him, I am nothing but a pawn, another cog in his grand machine.

I may be the mayor of Onett, but he will be the mayor of the world.

Just as long as I don't have to take any responsibility. It's not my fault, it's him, he's the one who's won, it's his plan... I did not fight back, why should I? He's so powerful; he'd have killed me otherwise. Being his puppet will be so much easier. Who am I to protest?

When victory is already his?

Praise him.

Prais e him.

pr ai se ihm.

p̴̬̦̮̭̖̙̬̽͐̄͒̾̽͐̐̂͂̉̾͝ͅȓ̵̨̛̮̤͍̯̥̙̠͔̰̮͚̏̔̊̎̌͠͠ ̸̨̛̜͈̙̣̬̘̏͌̎̀͗́͒͘͠͝ã̵̛̤͙͖̮̽̃ͅį̜̣͉̮̥̉̎sẻ͔̠̥̮̥̄͌̾̈̽̓̊͜ ̸̧̛͍̣̯̗̖̍̍͆͊̄̅̕̚̚͝h̢͓̤̰̫̳̪́̐͊̈ì̟̩̝̗̗̣͍̌̓̄͘͜ ̵͇͖̐̃͂̈́͛̒̃͆͑̽̍̚m̶̠̺̰̠̺̼͚̖̰̣̂͑̂͆̑͠ͅͅ.

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~~o00o~~

Chapter 6: In Health

(Lucas)

~~o00o~~

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Ness and I sit once again in the gloomy library.

I have a mission. In my mind is a book called Magical Monsters and Mythical Creatures. I know it has to be here, because I saw it, I remember seeing it. Future Human had come from it. I'd seen it in the book, and then I'd seen it in my dreams.

But my thoughts only cloud as I throw encyclopaedia after encyclopaedia onto the table.

"It's not here," I say, making a frustrated noise. "Why isn't it here?"

"What is not here?" Ness puts down the dictionary he's holding.

"The book — Magical Monsters and Mythical Creatures — the creature was in it."

"What, that Future Human thing?" Ness frowns. "But that was just a dream, I thought?"

"I saw it before." I pull over yet another pile of books. "I'm sure I saw the book before I fell asleep."

"Why do you need it?" Ness asks, putting a hand on mine. "It was only a nightmare. Besides, aren't we supposed to be researching the Face?"

But the monster's gaze lingers in my mind, almost as if it's trying to talk to me. Placet Auxilium, it had said. What does it mean? I push it out of my mind, focusing on Ness's hand. It's still shaking from his fit in English, clammy and starkly pale. Everyone else is probably still sitting in the lesson. It gave me a little thrill to escape Bowser, more than it should've, but I think I've always been so chained down that my rebellious streak has to come out once in a while.

Also on my mind — it's not just me, it's Ness, too! Both of us don't think girls are pretty, but unlike him, I don't mind it. I might even have had a few mild things for boys in the past, but they probably happened because I was lonely, if I'm honest. There's just something about the whole girl thing that doesn't suit what I want, I think. Not that I know what I want. But I know I don't need a girl to be happy, and I hope Ness understands it's all right, that he doesn't have to conform to be acceptable. In Tazmily, everyone was different, not like this city full of expectations and uniformity. So, I'll stay by Ness's side no matter what, no matter who he comes to be. Especially, I think to myself, when I'm already so much worse.

Ness tenses suddenly, holding up a book of Onetian Mythology. "Is this something here?"

I come over.

Brân: a Celtic God, whose head was removed and continued to prophesy. It is said the head still roams the streets of Eagleland to this day…

"Really?" I say, staring at Ness's shocked expression. "The Face is a dead Celtic god?"

"I wouldn't rule it out," he whispers. "We should search for books on Onetian mythology… there could be more information!"

"I was being sarcastic. Anyway, I thought The Face had a body? It was dark, so we wouldn't have seen it clearly."

"Perhaps," Ness says, but he doesn't sound convinced.

I lower my voice, suddenly having an idea. "Are you sure we did not fall asleep and dream it, like the shared dream we had before?"

"It felt real," Ness says. "I'm certain it was real."

There's a pause. I notice, uncomfortably, that I cannot hear the birds singing outside anymore.

"Well, perhaps the Face isn't a deceased Celtic god," Ness admits.

"You don't say, you goof."

"Excuse me! You're the bigger goof. You're the one looking for a book that only exists in your mind."

"It was real!" I fold my arms. "If you'd seen that book, you'd remember it too. It was horrid."

"Not quite as horrid as your singing, I'd wager."

"That's it! I'm gonna - gonna—"

"Gonna what?"

"Do something bad, and it - it won't be good!"

Ness laughs, some colour returning to his cheeks. "I look forward to it."

"You're mean."

"I know, and you're still a goof."

There's another silence. Ness smiles.

A crash sounds in the distance.

I tense. Ness's smile fades. "What was that?"

"Probably Bowser getting angry," I suggest, but even as I say it, I know it's not true. Something's wrong.

The gas lamps flicker. I feel a chill in the air.

"That's what happened on the train," Ness realises. "When it came, the gas lamps went out and wouldn't re-light — and then it got cold — what if the Face is here?"

And just as he says that, the gas lamps blow out at once, plunging us into darkness. I practically jump out of my skin. Ness throws down his book with alarm, and there's a crash as it knocks my pile onto the floor. I turn in the black, grabbing wildly for Ness's hand, sure we're about to encounter something awful. The Face cannot be back, surely, there's no way it can be here, surely it fell off of the roof! But what if...

"Lucas?" Ness squeaks, and I feel him grabbing my arm. "We need to leave. Now!"

Another crash sounds. This one's much closer.

He's right.

We leg it. We sprint from the library, into the main Hall and past the crowded classrooms. But it's as if we're being followed, as soon as we pass by a lamp, it snuffs into smoke. The cold rises, grabbing at me, begging me to give in to what is coming, and we pass the Arithmetic classrooms, but it's not enough… the darkness swallows us completely…

Something grabs my shoulder. "Ness!" I cry, and he turns, shouting, wrenching me away. We run, but there's a roar, something that sounds terribly inhuman, terribly fast, and I'm running out of energy, my legs, they're so sore. It's awful. It's coming, Ness is slowing, it's coming, it's coming, and we take a last turn, reaching the end of the corridor…

"In here!" Ness yells, and I feel my arm being pulled to the side. We lurch into an empty classroom, pitch black, and Ness slams the door behind us.

There's a noise as we collide with a desk. Ness hastily tips it on its side, leading me behind it, and my stomach drops as I hear the door opening again.

Time slows. Ness and I huddle together, burning with fear, hearts thumping, the sounds of our rapid breathing accompanied only by terrifying footsteps. My senses are slipping away. I'm losing my grip, and I have to clutch a table leg to support myself. It'll be fine. It has to be fine, but it's so dark. And something is here, I know something is here. I hear it, panting, close to me. This won't be where I die. It cannot be. I won't go down fighting. I'm too stubborn for that. I will go down, old, aged, completed. Not like this, never like this...

But the quiet lingers. Silence drips like treacle. I wait with bated breath, squinting in the black pool of midnight, but there's nothing.

And suddenly, there is light, spiralling from a nearby gas lamp. It floods the room. Is it okay? The cold lifts from my shoulders. I release my breath, looking around. Professor Ryu is standing by a gas lamp, fiddling with some wiring. He doesn't seem to have noticed us. I'm unsure what to do, until—

"What are you two doing in here?" he asks, without turning around.

"English ended early," I lie.

"We were chased, Professor," Ness says, his voice shaking. "The gas lamps went out, so we hid."

Ryu sighs, moving to the next lamp.

"We've discussed this, boys. It's about time you learnt what is real and what is not."

"We saw them go out, though," Ness says, shuddering. "And we were chased, we heard it—"

"There is nobody here," Ryu says. "As for the lamps, the mantles expired."

"All at once!?"

"Well, they would have been replaced at the same time, would they not? The same-sized mantle in each one, they'd all break simultaneously—"

"But what about random chance?" I demand, standing up. Trust Ryu to not believe me, the adults never do. "The mantles are different sizes.They couldn't have run out at the same time."

"Then, there was a fault with the gas," Ryu says, beginning to sound quite irritated. "For the final time, nothing was chasing you. You are beginning to sound hysterical."

At his words, I feel slightly ashamed of my panic. Though, I'm sure I felt something, something there in the darkness...

"And the cold? Why the cold?" Ness doesn't give in.

"Ness, please, compose yourself." Ryu turns, and for the first time, looks him square in the face. "The gas lamps are a heat source. Of course it'll be cold if they go out." Ness withers under his piercing gaze. "But I'll take the opportunity to talk to you both again," Ryu says. "Have you seen anything unusual since we last spoke?"

Future Human.

Placet Auxilium.

"No, Professor," I say, watching him light the final lamp. "I still don't know why that's important."

"Well—"

"Professor," Ness cuts in before he can answer. "These questions are to do with the disappearances, aren't they?"

Ryu freezes, barely concealing his shock.

"How did you hear about those?"

"I was in the bathroom." Ness reddens slightly. "You and Professor Marth came in, and I overheard..."

"For goodness' sake," Ryu says, vigorously lighting the last lamp, practically slamming it back onto the wall. "I told Marth to be quiet. I told him not to shout about it. This is what happens when you confide in fools." He turns on Ness. "Have you told anyone?" he asks harshly.

"Well, only Lucas, but—"

"And have you told anyone?" He rounds on me.

"No," I say, sounding a little sour. "They wouldn't have believed me if I did."

"Good." Ryu eases a little bit. "But keep it that way. The other students do not, under any circumstances, need to know about this."

"But what is happening?"

"That's confidential."

Ness boldly steps forward. "Then, Professor, we'll just have to tell everyone about them."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

Ness nods, suddenly nervous.

Ryu sighs. "In that case, sit behind my desk. Come, I'll tell you everything I know."

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Ness sits on the right, and I sit on the left. I can sense how excited Ness is to finally get some information, we were curious children at primary school, we'd peep and pry in every cupboard, playing in the woods, always interested in the playground gossip. They were good times. Simpler times.

Placet Auxilium.

"Professor," I blurt. "What does Placet Auxilium mean?"

Ryu scratches his head. "While I'm all for extracurricular learning, I'm not sure why that's relevant..."

"Uh, just trust me. It is."

"...Well, it's Latin for 'Please Help,' but—"

"Thank you, Professor," I say, cutting him off. I'm not sure if he needs to know any more about my dreams, especially with how strange they've been lately.

"Okay then," Ryu says. "So, some students have been going missing. Children who have been registered are vanishing, nowhere to be seen, even after a thorough search of the grounds. We're not sure where they could be going, if they're being taken, lured, or heaven forbid, killed. But we are coming to a firm conclusion. Someone is behind this."

"Who?"

"That's the problem." Ryu grimaces, folding his arms. "We don't know."

"What is being done?" Ness asks nervously. "And how many have disappeared?"

"Ten students have gone missing so far. Headmaster Hand knows, but as of yet, he isn't putting many protective measures in place. The number of professors on night patrol has doubled, but with no more defences, the disappearance rate is increasing."

I sense his unhappiness. Ness leans forward. "Who are the people you know? The ones who can help?"

Ryu grimaces. "You weren't supposed to hear that either. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you, for a variety of reasons." He looks up. "But I press, do not concern yourselves with this. And do not tell a soul, for these people, they are the very best. Or, at least, they have the capacity to become the very best for this situation."

I nod, unsure what else to say.

But to my surprise, Ness swells with pride. "Well, I think I know exactly who's behind this."

Ryu freezes as if making sure he's heard correctly, and then he gives Ness a long, searching stare. "Who?"

"Meta Knight and Olimar," Ness declares. "They were talking about preparing something, and they said, Lucas had better watch out for Friday."

"Well, well, well." Ryu, for the first time, smiles, letting his arms fall back by his side. "This is the best lead we've had yet. Thank you very much. We will look into it, I assure you."

Ness smiles too. But suddenly, he frowns, glancing at the floor. I follow his gaze to a strange-looking object, lying by Ryu's desk leg. Ness looks at me, and I understand.

"So, well..." I say, grabbing Ryu's attention. Ness subtly slips his hand to where the object is. "Is that all?" I struggle to think of anything else to add.

"For now," Ryu says. "Feel free to go, please enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too, Professor."

I glance back at Ness, his pocket bulging with whatever he found. We stand and walk, not too slowly, out of the door.

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The corridor is warm when we re-enter it. The gas lamps have been relit, and there isn't even a sign that anything had been here, much less chasing us. But that noise, those terrible footsteps, the hand on my shoulder, the breathing in my ear... hysterical, I remind myself. At this rate, I'll be committed to an institution.

"Did you buy his excuse for that thing chasing us?" Ness asks as soon as we're far enough from Ryu's door.

"It seemed fair," I lie.

"But I heard something," Ness says. "We were in the classroom when it was dark, and we heard the door open, did we not?"

"Ness, that was Ryu coming in."

"...Oh yes—"

I laugh, bumping my shoulder against his. "You goof. You're such a coward."

"So are you," Ness says, but he lowers his voice. "Lucas… don't you see what is becoming of us? That Face, it must make sense somehow. But we got caught up in being afraid of the thing, and now it's as though everything is out to get us."

"Perhaps," I say. His tone is unnerving. "Perhaps it's good to be careful, though."

"But it's like it's left a mark on us, this monster," Ness says, not even meeting my eyes now. "It's brought darkness all around us, and I don't like it."

"Ness—"

"We'll pull through, right?" Ness's voice becomes anxious. "This can just be a phase. Please, Lucas, The Face, we should keep our minds away from it. Perhaps we should stop visiting the library as well."

"All right," I say, and Ness exhales.

"Good. Then, come on, let's find Toon Link and Villager… and Red." He grimaces, and I do too. That's another thing we need to fix. But even as we find the others, this purpose in mind, one of my thoughts doesn't leave. Someone calling for help, shouting from very far away.

Placet Auxilium.

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Villager and Toon Link are in the games room, but with Popo lingering, the atmosphere is tense when we arrive. Toon Link and Villager seem quite tired, but it's nice to see their faces brighten when we come in.

"Where have you been?" Toon Link welcomes us with, to my surprise, a hug.

"Well, as you saw, we uh, bunked out of English—"

"Yes." Toon Link grins wide. "Lucas, that was the best thing you've ever done."

"Bowser didn't notice, did he?"

"Are you kidding?" Toon Link laughs. "Of course he noticed! Two empty seats, right there, in the middle of the room? He's hunting you down, right now. He's got out his biggest cane. I thought you'd got caught..."

"Well, we did not," Ness says, sitting down. "We were in the library."

"The library?" Toon Link pulls a face as he takes his shot in an ongoing pool game. A red ball is potted. "Come on, you could've done something more interesting if you're gonna skip class."

"Such as?"

"Going into the forest? It's dark and scary in there."

Ness gives a pained smile. "It was quite dark and scary in the corridor."

I watch as Toon Link frowns, his smile vanishing. "You saw all that too?"

"Yes," I say.

"Rather scary, right? We walked from our lesson into darkness."

"We were worried about you," Villager says, taking his shot and potting a yellow ball. "You didn't show up 'til now and, truth be told, it was frightening."

"I wasn't frightened," Toon Link says stoically.

"He was." Villager brings down his voice. "He nearly cried."

"All right, you!" Toon Link snarls. He grabs his pool cue and starts chasing Villager around the table with it. Villager yelps as Toon Link prods him in the back, but he's laughing, at least until he runs into Popo.

"Oi! Watch it!" Popo hits him on the shoulder.

Villager doesn't dignify Popo with a reaction, instead turning back around to face us.

"Where's Red?" I ask.

Villager's face falls. "Well, he was here, and it was going well and all. But then this git…" He glares at Popo. "Said he was Red's replacement. Red got upset and left."

"You know it was just my impeccable humour," Popo says.

"You could see he wasn't in a good mood!"

"Whatever," Popo says, sulking. "Not my fault you're lamer than a boulder."

"We should find him," I say. "He could be in danger."

"In danger? From what?"

Ness and I share a look.

Toon Link sighs. "You know, I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?" We frown, turning in unison.

"When you look at each other like you know something we don't."

Ness and I exchange another glance, and we laugh, catching ourselves.

"Perhaps we have secrets," Ness says.

Toon Link takes another shot, watching the white ball as it bounces off the rim of the table, missing all of the coloured balls.

"You know," he says, not meeting our eyes. "We never really have any deep conversations. About secrets and all that."

"It doesn't have to be that way." Villager claps him on the back. "We can have deep conversations if you like."

"We could." Toon Link shrugs, tossing the cue in his hand.

"About what?" Ness asks.

"Oh!" Popo jumps up and down like a small child. "I can tell you the dream I had about Bayonetta. It was incredibly erotic..."

"Please stop," I say, actually shivering a bit. Anything to do with sex sort of scares me.

Ness seems irked. "Popo, you shouldn't speak like that."

"Oh?" Popo folds his arms with a grin. "What are you gonna do? She's hot."

"She's not a piece of meat."

"Hark ye, courteous Ness!" Toon Link laughs. "I did not realise you were so defensive."

"Don't go there." Villager pokes Toon Link with the pool cue. "Ness doesn't like her like that."

Toon Link raises his eyebrows, leaning on his cue like a walking stick. "And how would you know?"

"Bayonetta likes women, remember? Also, far as I'm aware, Ness has never thought much about romance."

"He might just be secretive," Toon Link says.

"He also probably has better taste."

"I'm also probably right here," Ness says. "So I'd advise stopping that conversation."

"Bayonetta will be mine before the term is through," Popo declares, taking advantage of Ness turning away to poke him in the chest. "Just you try and stop me."

"Good luck with that," Ness says, for once knowing better than to start a fight.

"I won't need luck. I have my charm."

"Of course."

"I do!" Popo rapidly snatches Villager's pool cue, pokes Ness somewhere very private with it, and saunters off. "Goodbye, masculites."

Ness doubles over in pain, and the rest of us groan with sympathy, patting him on the back. We all know what it's like when Popo pulls out one of those attacks.

"I am a dead man." Ness dramatically falls to the floor. "Go on without me. I cannot live this life anymore."

I laugh. "C'mon, you've survived worse. Get up."

"Noooooo—"

Honestly, Popo confuses me. I think he wants to be our friend, but he's terrible at showing it. I feel bad for him, having once been lonely and friendless myself, but he doesn't exactly make things easy. His sister Nana has always been kind, so I'm sure something good is buried in him somewhere. But where? I want to give Popo a chance, even if the others disagree, because I honestly want to help him, like Ness did for me. I suppose I see some parallels there, minus the creepy comments about Bayonetta and the hitting Ness in the crotch.

"Right!" Toon Link claps his hands together. "Now he's gone, I had an idea that will kill two birds with one stone."

Villager sighs. "What is it this time?"

"Well..." Toon Link spins in a circle, evidently very pleased with whatever he's come up with. "After dinner, we can sneak out to the forest! We can invite Red along. It'll be fun, we can explore, and as a bonus, I can prove I'm not scared of the dark."

"That's actually a good idea," I say, surprised. "And we can have a deep conversation, like you wanted."

"And you can get away from Bowser," Toon Link adds.

"And we can get some fresh air—"

"And escape Popo—"

"Okay, I'm impressed." Villager puts his hands on his hips, nodding. "That's not just killing two birds with one stone. You've killed the whole flock."

And so, as Toon Link wins the pool game and crows about it, we sit down in relatively good spirits. It must be dinner time soon, I'm even getting hungry, which isn't like me. My stomach's gotten used to not eating much, thanks to another winter spent without much food. When it comes to eating, Ness is actually the more concerning one, he either binge eats or makes poor excuses that he's not hungry, usually when he's in a bad mood.

My thoughts drift.

Ryu — that conversation — there's a lot to understand. What was that about people whom he thought could help? And Placet Auxilium. Meaning Please Help. So, Future Human needs help, but with what? What was happening to it? I suppose it looked in pain? Perhaps it could be a subliminal message about me doing my part to save humanity from becoming like it… but I feel like that's too obvious. And then, of course, isn't it all just a dream? A monster in my mind, except…

I bite back the thought that it felt real, choosing to focus on nicer things. Ness and my friends have always outweighed Onett's terrors, be they phantom faces, Future Human, or even Porky Minch. We actually have a lot of dirt on Porky, from being behind the coal mine explosion, which trapped ten of Ness's father's workers, to all the bribery and extortion. There are rumours on the streets about the kinds of businesses he owns, the brothels, slave trades, and the products he creates. He's a business mastermind and an inventor, specialising in drugs that create 'happy' emotions. He's said to work alone, with his only patrons being money and power. And yet, his reputation is golden; children flock to buy his products, and adults celebrate his success.

It's well-documented that anyone who crosses him mysteriously disappears. Dealing with Meta Knight and Olimar is child's play, compared to Porky and his empire. But Porky's power isn't infinite. He's had at me before, and he failed. Now, of course, he's got bigger worries than a peasant boy from the Onett First Residential District. I doubt he even knows my name — I'm another brick in Onett's wall, another naïve citizen to swindle and rob.

Our gentle lull is disturbed soon enough by Meta Knight and Olimar arriving. We should probably stay out of the games room since it's almost their home, but then again, playing pool is fun, and it's five of us versus two of them.

"All right?" Toon Link calls out with mock politeness before they can do the same.

"Oho!" Meta Knight stops in his tracks, grins, and comes over. "Is someone on edge today?"

"I'm cool as anything."

"Sure thing," Olimar says. "Just as cool as when you cried in the corridor?"

"Mummy! Mummy!" Meta Knight mocks, and the pair burst into laughter.

Villager stands. "Is there gonna be trouble?"

"Of course not, Professor Villager," Olimar sneers, bowing. "No trouble at all."

"If I'm a professor, why don't you run along and study?"

"'Cause this is our place," Meta Knight says. "You pauper scum should know that."

"Scum?" Toon Link raises his eyebrows. "I thought we were friends?"

"Perhaps, until you betrayed us."

"Bah, I only used you for your social status," Toon Link says. "And besides, I did not like what you were doing to that boy."

"Well, that doesn't matter," Meta Knight says hotly. "Point is, this is our space, we get first dibs, so you're out of luck. Move it."

"No, thanks," Villager says.

"Oh, how charming." Meta Knight turns on him, snarling. "Won't you listen to those above you? Or did your whore of a mother not teach you any manners?"

"Believe what you want," Villager says evenly. "However, we were here first, and we have every right to be in this room—"

"Yes, leave us alone," Ness says, suddenly standing up.

I bite my lip. Ness's temperament is easily tested, and he's no stranger to a fight or two, which makes me sad. Ness can be gentle and tender, but he also has this violent side to him. Then again, I have the side that makes me want to withdraw from everything, and I'd be stupid to pretend Ness could ever be perfect. Everyone has some bad to them. It's human nature.

"Oh? What are you gonna do?" Meta Knight asks, coming forward.

"I'll hurt you," Ness says.

"Ness," I begin.

"Yes, Ness," Olimar says. "Listen to your fucktoy, sit back down."

"He's not my fucktoy!" Ness exclaims, stamping his foot, and I sigh. Sometimes, I don't know if he realises how childish he is.

"Whatever you say, fag." Meta Knight grins, turning on me. "I mean, I cannot blame you, isn't he such a scrawny thing? What is he good for? I don't know why you keep him around."

"You take that back!" Ness runs at him, furiously grabbing him by the shoulders. "He's wonderful, and I—"

Meta Knight spits in his face.

"AGH! That's it, I'm gonna—"

"Ness," I groan, grabbing his shoulder. "Please, sit back down. It's not worth it."

"But—!"

"Ness."

"Fine. But only for you!" Ness pushes his rival away, furiously wiping the spit from his face. "And they're wrong. You're – you're the best, okay?"

But before I can reply, a blond blur shoots past my head.

"Don't you dare spit on him!"

Villager throws his hands in the air as Toon Link flies into battle. "What on earth are you doing?"

Toon Link stops to think of a clever answer, and Meta Knight throws a punch that hits him square in the jaw.

The door opens — the Pit brothers?

"A fight?" Dark Pit's eyes light up.

"Toon Link and Meta Knight! Interesting—"

"Who'll win?"

"Toonie."

"Meta Knight."

"No, Toon Link will! He's stronger and more tactical."

"Meta Knight has speed, and he's a brute. Come on, he has to win."

"No, no, you're all wrong—"

Toon Link collapses into Villager's lap.

"Heyyyyyyyy Villlllyyyyyy…" he says, dazed. "Good to see you… how's Zeldaaaaa, hahahah?"

"Oh dear." Villager sets him down on an armchair. "Stay there, for the love of everything."

"Of couuuurse I will, Villy, I cannot teleport, you silly goose…"

"Right," Villager says.

Meta Knight turns to the Pits, leering. "Well, if it isn't thing one and thing two."

"You know," Pit says, "The same joke applies to you and Olimar—"

"Yes," Dark Pit laughs. "You don't have any unique features—"

"You both think being rich is a personality trait—"

The Pits bump shoulders.

Meta Knight growls. "Watch who you're speaking to! I'll throw you down a pit, if you're not careful."

"Unwise to assume I don't have wings," Pit says.

"Good luck finding a pit to throw us down," Dark Pit adds.

"D'you wanna start a fight?" Olimar goes over, cracking his knuckles.

"Well, that'd be quite fun! Although, you two seem to be the ones to start most fights—"

"Then, fight we shall!"

They launch into action. The Pits and the bullies start throwing punches and kicks, the rest of us watching in fear as they grunt and attack. But Pit and Dark Pit slip out from under the chaos of limbs, clutching their caps, and... ah. Meta Knight and Olimar seem not to notice the Pits are gone, and they continue beating each other up. Even better, Professor Rosalina enters the room, and she takes a second to drink in the scene.

"BOYS!"

Meta Knight and Olimar look up, suddenly noticing the absence of Pits. They spring back in alarm.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rosalina crosses her arms. "Fighting? That'll be detention for both of you! Also, we've received a tip-off that you've been involved in something highly illegal, so you'll be coming with me."

"What?" Meta Knight growls. "You cannot do that!"

"You cannot do that, Professor."

"Women cannot be professors."

"Well, as you can see, too bad for you, because I am one. Now, come with me!"

They grumble, but they eventually give in and follow Rosalina out of the room. Just as they leave, the clocktower rings for dinner.

"I wonder what they got caught for?" Villager says as we arrive in the dining hall.

"Probably some slavessssss," Toon Link slurs, still dazed from the punch. Ness and I exchange a knowing glance, joining the queue, and the fresh aroma of burnt food enters our nostrils.

"All right." Villager turns on his heel to face us. "We need to invite Red to the forest."

"Of couuuurse, we won't forget, you silly sausage, haha—"

We're interrupted by the Pits reappearing.

"Hullo again!"

"Heard those two got taken in. Serve them right for causing a scene."

"What is their problem with you, anyway?"

"Other than class divides? Not sure," Villager says. "I s'pose they just want to make trouble. But what was that about wings?"

"Nothing to worry about," Dark Pit says.

"Yes, that's not your business, you—"

"You—"

"Damn, why are there no good insults for you?"

"Yes, try to stand out a little more!"

"I do stand out!"

"Well, I suppose you're the mother of this group you have here—"

"Well, you're just... uh, I'm no good at coming up with insults…" Villager thinks quickly. "You're just… jesters!"

"Jesters?" They both gasp at once.

"Yes, haha," Toon Link staggers, grabbing onto a pole. "Villy is right, he's funny, you're funny, hahahahaha—"

I lose interest, reaching the front of the queue, grimacing as the server slops something brown onto my plate. But I suppose it's better than nothing. If life on the street has taught me anything, I've learnt to be grateful for what food I can eat. Some days, if I did not earn enough to cook dinner, I'd have to go without. With this thought, I take it without complaining, and I set out to find Red, reasoning that I might be the least likely to offend him at the moment. But Red seems to be sitting with Popo.

I sit. "Hello."

"Lucas, good to see you." Red smiles marginally. "You're the nicest one, after all."

"Uh, thanks," I say. Red has a particular knack for making uncomfortable comments. "Do you want to come sit back with us this dinner?"

"Why should I do that?"

"We miss you. It's not the same without you."

"All right," Red says, and he picks up his plate. "But only if everyone behaves."

"We will," I promise, even though we probably won't.

Popo moves to follow us too, but Nana arrives just in time, telling him off about something or other. It's a welcome piece of fortune, and Red sits down next to me and Villager. I think we're his favourites, which makes me feel a little guilty, but I don't think Toon Link or Ness mind too much.

Dinner is always a calmer affair than lunch. I think that's mostly because people are tired at dinner, what with the early start to the day. I cannot believe it's only Wednesday — two days until I'm supposed to 'watch out,' — and so much has already happened. I suppose it feels like it's all building up to something. I'm going to keep my eyes firmly open for any hints; the disappearances, the Face, Future Human, they all scare me.

What if I'm next to disappear? What if Ness is? I'll watch over him like a hawk. No chance is he getting hurt, not if I have anything to say about it.

"...So come with us!" Villager is saying. Looks like I lost focus again.

"Okay," Red says. "But wouldn't we be punished?"

"If we're careful, we won't," Ness says. "And we're allowed to take walks on the grounds."

"Well, we're not supposed to after dark," Villager admits.

"Hmmm." Red picks at his food. "This had better not be a trick."

Toon Link looks scandalised. "No tricks here!"

"Ignore him," Villager says. "Someone punched him in the face. But yes, no tricks. Don't worry."

"Then I'm in."

An hour or so later, we're ready. Ness and I change into dark clothes to help us to blend in, and we have warm layers underneath them. I'm excited for a chance to get out of these stone walls, explore the forest, and spend time with my friends. I'm not usually one for breaking the rules, but honestly, I need an escape. The outdoors has always been a place of solace for me, not among the bustling horses and carts of the city, but among my friends and their mayhem…

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...I'm nine years old. Ness and I are playing hide and seek with Toon Link and Inkling at the local park. Ness's father is away on business, so for once we're allowed to come out after school and play. Inkling is the seeker of course, and Ness and I have found a brilliant hiding place, just behind a shed. We're laughing, loving life, and loving the freedom we have.

"Lucas, shush!" Ness grabs my hand. "I think I hear Inkling!"

We hush, patient and ready. There's no way she'd see us here, right? Toon Link, still a shy boy, peeps over the top of the shed. He's somehow made it onto the roof.

"Hello," he says. "Inkling hasn't got me yet."

"She hasn't got us either," Ness says back. "But keep your voice down!"

"Oh yes!" Toon Link blushes. "I forgot."

Hardly listening, I look up at the clouds and their pretty shapes. Ness loves clouds, and nature, and animals. He's got the spirit of the wilderness in him. He's like a fairy tale character, happiest in forests, up hills, away from school and the indoors.

A voice jolts me back to reality.

"Well, well, well. What have we got here?"

Of course. Porky Minch.

"Hello, sir," Ness says, looking nervous, and Porky's grin widens.

"Ness? Lucas? You know it's dangerous to be out here on your own?"

"What do you want?" Ness demands.

"Nothing, nothing. Just curious, of course, curious as to what you're doing back here?"

"We were just playing a game, Mr Minch." I shift a bit closer to Ness's side, not liking the way that Porky is looking at me.

Porky tips his hat so it covers his eyes. "Can I play?"

Ness gulps. "You'd be too good, mister."

"Nobody ever wants to play with me." Porky frowns, looking crestfallen. I don't feel sorry for him.

"That's because you're a grown-up," Ness says. "Why don't you play with other grown-ups?"

"I do play with them, Ness." Porky chuckles lightly. Deliberately. "But they're no fun, they never want to play my games. They're so fragile, don't you think? They break so easily."

"Got you!" Inkling cries, coming up out of nowhere, and I jump about half a mile. But she frowns upon seeing Porky. "Who's this?"

"Don't you know?" Porky snarls, suddenly changing tack. "The great inventor, Porky Minch!"

"Oh. You." She scoffs. "Mymummy told me to watch out for you."

Porky glares. "Your mummy is wrong."

Inkling puffs herself up to her full height. "Well—"

"Mister Porky," I cut in before a fight can start. "We should really be going home now."

"Of course," he says, retreating into politeness again. "But would you like to see something incredible? It's just around the back..."

"No, it's okay," I say, quivering at the thought of what might happen around the back.

"Oh," Porky says, childishly disappointed. "I understand, then. Good day, Lucas."

"G-Good day, sir."

And with that, we wriggle out of our hiding space, Porky laughing in our faces. We run as fast as we can, away from him and away from the park. He's creepy, I think to myself. So, so creepy.

But of course, that wouldn't be the last I saw of him…

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…I surface from the memory, suddenly uneasy as we reach the entrance hall. Ness is by my side, but there's a definite chill hanging in the air. I stop.

"Ness, I'm not so sure about this."

But Ness takes my hand. "C'mon Lucas, live a little. Let yourself enjoy it."

"What if... Porky..."

"Porky?" Ness turns, concerned. "Why are you thinking of him? He's never shown his face at school before. We'll be all right."

"I suppose," I say.

Ness smiles at me, and I soften. It'll be fine, fun, even.

I try to think about the good parts of the memory.

Ness, Toon Link, Inkling and I used to be a great set of friends, back in primary school. Ness had known Toon Link and Inkling for who knows how long, and when Ness invited me to his table, I'd met them as well.

We only met Red and Villager a lot later. Ness found Villager in History, and then we met Red when visiting Villager and Red's dorm. Of course, each of us has changed throughout the time we've been friends, especially Toon Link with his newfound confidence, but me as well. I suppose I'm better in social situations, to some degree. Though I'm still a daydreamer, and of course, I'm daydreaming right now, reminiscing…

Toon Link cheers when we meet him by the door. It's still only 8 p.m., no professors on patrol quite yet. Villager and Red seem ready to go, so we exchange shifty grins, and Toon Link opens the great front door.

We step into the night.