A/N : Oh my goooossssh, I've been bouncing around in my seat ALL day, waiting for these reviews to add up.
This chapter is dedicated to those nine of you who pushed this chapter onto the system. My other readers should worship you! Reviewer number ten, you never came! But I'm in too good of a mood today, so here it is.
Those of you who are offended by sexual content, please press the little red x at the top right hand corner of your screen. This is full of touches and sensations.
Chapter 12 – Testing the Waters
Bella's POV
I had lost courage, yet again. I don't think it was so much courage as it was inability to break someone's heart like mine had been shattered. Though Edward had left me, had caused me so much grief and pain, I couldn't bring myself to do the same to him. Especially knowing what he planned to do I ever wasn't around. I couldn't have Italy hanging over my head for the rest of my life.
Edward was sitting on my bed, leaning against my head bored. My head was in his lap, on top of a pillow. Every once in a while, he interrupted my thoughts by stroking my hair, or touching my cheek. The TV was on and every once in a while Edward would switch channels with the remote. For the most part, we were quiet. I think he sensed something was coming. No doubt he knew there was a nail wedged between us.
Right, a nail. It was more like a goddamn two by four. I thought. I let out a soft breath and his fingertips brushed through my hair once again. The truth was, I just didn't feel anything when I was with him anymore. All of my emotions were with Jake now. All of my being was slowly inching toward him. The man who was there for me when Edward had gone.
Edward's hands roamed toward my side. I wanted to shiver but bit it back. I couldn't break Edward's heart... Maybe I could still salvage what I'd brought upon us... What he had started when he'd left… I sat up and scooted closer to him, grabbing his arm and pulling it around my shoulders.
"Bella, no... You'll get cold," he whispered, kissing my temple. I looked up at him and shook my head.
"I don't care," I said, even as I felt the cold start to seep through me. He looked anxious, and I didn't want that. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to kiss him-
I wanted to kiss him how Jake and I had kissed, in the kitchen... I took in a deep breath and looked away from Edward's gaze. I still hadn't told him. I couldn't tell him. I don't know if I ever would. If I was going to attempt to break up with him, wouldn't he be better off just never knowing about Jacob and I's kiss? I'd been trying to reason it out for so long.
But I couldn't kiss Edward how I did Jake. That had hit me when Jake had asked me why Edward and I had never slept together. I couldn't do anything with Edward how I could with Jake. I still couldn't believe I'd let Jake talk me into telling him something so personal. Something I knew would upset him.
I probably wouldn't see him for a really long time, if ever. I was getting antsy. I don't know what this new feeling was inside me, but it was so aggravating. The need to rub my whole body up against something, anything, anyone was so irritating. I felt like an insatiable cat.
Suddenly, I felt Edward nibbling on my ear. I took in a sharp breath. It was something he'd never done before. Such affection just didn't pass between us. I let out the breath and inhaled deeper. He moved to my neck slowly and I tensed, but the next moment he was already moving away from it. I relaxed as he kissed my temple.
This was my chance... If there was any way to salvage what we had, it was here. I turned my lips to his and he caught them. They were cold, and I didn't know why that was still surprising me. I worked my lips against his. I felt a little spark ignite in me. This isn't Jacob my mind seemed to whisper to me, but I pushed it away. I started pushing my lips harder against him. I could feel him trying to keep control. I didn't want him to. I needed lack of control for this.
"Please, Edward," I whined.
Apparently, that was all he needed. His hand slid to the back of my head and he pulled me closer. I crawled onto him, straddled him. His hand slipped to the small of my back. I grinded my hips into him and he let out a moan. It seemed to fuel me further. I slid my hands up his chest, but his shirt irritated me. I yanked on the bottom of it and he lifted his arms. We broke our kiss for the second it took for me to get his shirt off, and then he was right back again.
I raked my nails down his chest and he let out a hiss. I know it didn't hurt him. I couldn't hurt him. He was made of cold marble. I moved my body against him again and felt butterflies swim through my stomach. Oooo, I liked that feeling. I did it again and he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine.
"Fuck, Bella, what are you doing," he groaned. He yanked at the spaghetti straps of my shirt and exposed some of my chest, getting dangerously close to my breast. I took his question to be rhetorical and tilted my head back as he started kissing the swell of my breasts. One of his arms was wrapped securely around my waist, holding me close to him. My hips couldn't stop moving anymore. I didn't feel the cold. My body felt hot now. Too hot.
"Oh, God," I gasped out. He dug his nails into my back and I cried out a little. He started nipping at my chest and I quick flash of fear went through me. "Edward," I said, softly. Maybe I was taking things too far. He wasn't hearing me now. He wasn't stopping. Fear pressed further through me. My hips had stopped but he kept going. He was sucking on my chest and it felt so good. I didn't know if I wanted him to stop anymore.
Suddenly, he pulled my shirt down more and his lips caught my nipple.
"Edward!" I cried out, in ecstasy.
"God damn," he growled out and suddenly stopped, pulling the strip of my shirt back over me. "I can't do this, Bella. I'm going to bite you, I can feel t," he groaned, sliding me off him. He buried his head in his hands. I reached out for him but he pushed my hand away, roughly. I pulled my hand back and put it in my lap. I watched him for a moment before he got to his feet quickly and went to the window. I jumped up and followed him.
"Edward, wait-" I started, grabbing his wrist to keep him from leaving. He whipped back around and hissed, flashing his fangs and black eyes at me. I backed up immediately, my hands up as if I surrendered. He brought his hand to his mouth instantly and turned away from me.
"I'm sorry, I have to feed. This is for your own good, I'll see you tomorrow," he said and threw open the window. He jumped out and I backed away. I didn't stop until I hit my bed and fell onto it. I think I was in shock. All I remember was feeling something wet in my shorts, suddenly. I let out a breath. Wonderful, it would seem I started my period.
I went to the bathroom and closed the door, starting the shower. I checked my underwear but when I looked, I was confused. It was clear, and wet. What the fuck was all I could think. Suddenly, it hit me. Everything Renee had told me came rushing back to me in that second. I was horny, and now I was wet. I glanced at myself in the mirror, frustrated.
"Great job," I muttered before stripping and jumping in the shower. I replayed through everything during the quickest shower I'd ever taken. While I scrubbed my skin mercilessly, I thought about kissing Edward, about how I hadn't registered the cold. I thought about how it hadn't been bad. At least, not until he couldn't handle any more. But we could work on it… We could do more and more, little by little. Eventually, maybe we could even have sex.
I found myself scrubbing my skin even harder. I needed to get rid of this feeling. I couldn't handle feeling 'horny' any more. I finished in the shower, feeling like my skin was raw. I towel dried my hair, dried off and then wrapped it around me. I grabbed my clothes as I went back into my room.
Jacob's POV
I waited outside Bella's window, as a wolf. I had a knapsack around my ankle with a pair of jeans, dress shirt and a tiny bottle of gel I never used. My senses told my there was a vampire in her room. As much as I wanted to break her and Edward up now, I wasn't going to go waltzing in with Bella around. So I waited, patiently. In the forest. Trying to keep my scent from wafting towards the window.
No sooner had I found a nice place to sit, I heard Bella cry out Edward's name. The fur on my back bristled as I got back on all fours. It took everything I had to keep from jumping up into her room. I only had to wait a minute before the leech came out from her window. Was he shirtless? What the fuck was all I could think. I felt anxiety stretch across my skin. Charlie wasn't home, and if that leech had bitten Bella… If she was up there, dying… I couldn't help it.
I transformed, unhooked the bag from my foot and threw my pants on. I ran over to her house. I scaled the tree and was in her window in seconds. She hadn't come to shut it. I heard the shower on across the hall. At least she was alive and moving. I decided I didn't want her to see me standing here when she got back. It was an invasion of her privacy, and I had only wanted to make sure she was ok. I saw the leech's shirt on the ground and growled. The place reeked of him. What I wouldn't give for human senses now.
I jumped back out the window, my eyes watering from the smell. I bounced to the ground and walked over to the tree line of the forest, searching for my bag. I pulled the shirt out of it and slipped it on. I guess I was getting even bigger. The shirt was tight, though the buttons did hook. At least the shirt wasn't stretched. I grumbled under my breath about how I'd need to get a new one. I took out the miniscule bottle of gel and put a little in my hand. I rubbed them together and then ran my hands through my hair, trying my best to make it work without a mirror.
I took in a breath and then walked back to the tree below her house, waiting for any sign that she had finished. I played with my fingers, tapped my toes… Anything to keep my mind off the sound of Bella's voice when she had called the blood sucker's name. I tried to force it to the back of my mind. She had sounded… aroused.
No matter what had happened, I had made my decision. I wouldn't live without Bella any more. The leech wasn't good for her, and a part of her knew it. And tonight, I was going to show her how bad he was for her. Whatever it took.
I heard a drawer open above my head and jumped. Good, she was out. I looked around. I found a wood chip and tossed at the side of her window. It got her attention.
"Jake?" she asked, squinting down at me. I nodded and then smiled, wide. Her eyes were open wide now as she looked me up and down.
"Can I come up?" I asked. She nodded and I watched her back away. I scaled up and popped into her window. When I turned to face her, I saw she was still in her towel. I tried to fight the already growing tension in my body. It helped that the room smelled like vamp.
"What are you doing here? You look… nice," she asked. I grinned. Nice was apparently code for goddamn sexy, the way she was looking at me. She seemed to be clinging to the towel, pulling it up above-
It was then that I noticed the beginning of a bruise on her chest. I squinted at it before she tried to pull the towel up some more. I gave her a look, one that said What the fuck is that? She gave me a look back, one that said Please, I don't know what happened… Don't leave me.
I felt myself shaking slightly as I closed the distance between us. I tugged on the towel a little but she wouldn't budge. So I grabbed her hand and pried her fingers apart. She seemed to be holding on for her life. I lowered the towel enough so I could see the foundation of a mouth sized bruise at the swell of her breast. My breath caught in my chest and I tried to remind myself to keep calm. I didn't know what had happened. I don't think I wanted to know what had happened.
I stepped one more foot closer to her and put my hand in her hair. I leaned forward to smell it and was hit with a whiff of vampire, even though she had obviously lathered shampoo into her hair a few times. It was faint, only there because I was looking for it. Her hand was on my chest, her head bowed. I tried not to let the anger, the jealousy, swarm throughout me. I took in a deep breath but could only smell vampire.
"Please, spray some kind of perfume or something. It smells disgusting in here," I said, pulling away from Bella. Her hand reached for me but then dropped. If I hadn't been paying attention, I wouldn't have seen it. She was looking around for something now. She finally found a can of oust and started spraying down the room.
"The bed too," I said, turning away from her, towards the window. I heard the can aim directly towards the bed. When it stopped, I turned to face her and saw her aiming the can at herself. I moved quickly to stop her, as her eyes were already closed. When I took the can from her, she looked up at me, lost.
"You don't smell like him anymore. Not unless I'm looking to smell him," I said, tossing the can to the chair at her desk. I noticed she'd gotten rid of his shirt, somehow. The thought made me laugh inside.
"I didn't expect to see you so soon," she whispered and I turned to face her again. I tried to fight the witty comment, I really did.
"Oh? Is that why you had the leech in bed with you? When you expect to see me, you stay away from him for a few days, but once it's over, you jump on him?" I asked. I could feel the anger fluttering through me, but I knew I couldn't lose it. I had things to accomplish tonight. Her head was shaking, violently. She was coming towards me, holding the towel tightly to her.
"Jake, no, that's not how it… I just… I can't break his heart… And I needed to know if I could-"
"If you could fuck him?" I spat. Suddenly I didn't know if I could go through with my plan. She let out a sob and I immediately felt a needle stick my heart.
"Jacob, please, don't judge me right now," she whispered. I wasn't judging. I was jealous. I didn't want to be jealous any more. I didn't want to feel like her back up. She came into my arms and fit their perfectly. I tried to fight it, but I found myself with my arms wrapped tightly around her. It felt odd now, not having her pressed against my bare chest. I wanted this shirt off. We stayed still a minute before she spoke.
"I tried to feel with him what I feel with you… But I just can't. There's nothing about him that's like you, Jake.. And I want you," she whispered. I felt my mouth go dry. She wanted me? She tilted her head back to look up at me. It exposed the hickie on her chest. I couldn't help but glance at it. Instead of fury, I felt good. She had said she wanted me. I reached my hand up and touched the spot. I felt her skin, the top of her breast, and I could feel myself already growing hard. I was touching Bella Swan's breast. I stroked my thumb over the bruise.
"… You want me to show you how that's supposed to feel?" I asked. Her eyes grew wide as she looked up at me. I didn't wait for her answer. I leaned down and took her lips for mine.
She truly was perfect for me. Made for me. I loved the height difference between us. I loved how I had to lean down to kiss her. I loved how her hands were running over my shoulders. I couldn't keep my mouth from ravaging hers. My tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring the places I never got to see. I slid my hand into her hair, pulling her face closer to mine. She was on her toes, trying to get her tongue deeper into my mouth. Her arms were wrapped securely around my neck now.
I walked her backwards, my free hand on her hip to make sure she didn't fall. We crash landed into the wall and I heard her moan out. Her hands were glossing over my shirt covered arms. I wanted to feel her hands on me, now. I broke away for a moment so I could undo the buttons down the shirt. Her hands joined mine. Finally, I shrugged out of it and her hands went to run over my shoulders.
We began kissing again. I reveled in her touch. Her hand was running down my arm, but then she took a new course up my chest. Then she dragged her nails down. I think I saw stars behind my closed eyes. It didn't hurt. She was going to make me throw her on the bed though. Her nails were glorious. I groaned into her mouth and broke the kiss.
We were both breathing heavily as I started trailing my lips over the side of her cheek. Down the side of her neck. I pulled at the towel so I could get to the swell of her breast. The opposite breast the creature had marked. My mouth hovered over her chest for a moment. I just breathed on her, savoring the anticipation coursing through the both of us.
I could feel her, waiting, expecting. Hoping, really. I only knew because the same feelings were running amuck through me. I just wanted to hear her first… Ask for me, please…
A/N : So, obviously, I couldn't put this all into one chapter. It would have been too long. Chapter 13 is already awaiting you guys, just gimme 8 reviews this time.
And EXTREME warning. This chapter wasn't that bad, rating wise. The next chapter is a lot more in depth and has a lot more… dirty language. Beware, my readers. I get pretty intense!