A/N : Let me just say you guys completely impressed me about the last two chapters. I am SO unbelievably happy you guys liked them. Now, expect some more lemons later, in this story. I'm a lemon writer, so just let me know if you guys want another story started up on the side. You know, mainly Jacob Bella lemon. I already have a whole new idea for a different new fic forming in my head. I think about it whenever I'm not thinking about this story. Should I start it or wait? What are you guys thinking? I'm really quite curious. Please send me little messages, or reviews, whichever you're comfortable with. Tell me what's on your mind. What do you want to see from me? I can write Jacob and Bella all day.

Sorry for that extremely, utterly, ridiculously long A/N.

Chapter 14 – I can't… I can't.

Bella's POV

My heart sank lower every day I didn't see Jake. I called him, often. He answered a hand full of time, saying he was sorry he hadn't been around, but he'd been busy with the pack. There was nothing in his voice that led me to think anything was wrong between us though.

"I love you, Bells," he had said, last time before we hung up. I had smiled into the phone and said that I couldn't wait to see him, and then put the phone back on the receiver. When the next time I'd see him would be, neither of us could say.

That night that he had come over, I had thrown my sheets in the laundry. I used the rest of the can of oust on my room and left the window open all night, hoping to air out the smell of werewolf, whatever it smelled like. As much as I wanted to break up with Edward now, I didn't need him going into a furious rage about Jacob being over. It was a very cold night, to say the least.

Edward hadn't mentioned anything the next afternoon, when he had shown up.

Let me tell you how glad I was Alice couldn't see anything about my life that had to do with Jacob and the werewolves. I was so curious to talk to her, as Edward hadn't brought up her not being able to see me anymore. I thought I'd made my decision to go with Jacob? Would it not go into effect until after I broke it off with Edward completely?

This morning, I lie in bed, thinking about everything. Edward hadn't showed up yet, and I was grateful. Lately, I never knew when he'd be here. Only that he would stop by every day. Sometimes he was there when I woke; others, he wouldn't show up until I was lying in bed, ready to pass out. I rolled over in bed and slipped my feet onto the floor. I did my normal routine, brush my teeth, jump in the shower, blow dry, straighten, get dressed. Then I catapulted down the stairs and to the phone.

"Hey Billy, is Jake there?" I asked as soon as the old man on the other line picked up.

"No, Bella, I'm sorry. The pack is running him dry. I haven't seen him since last night," he said. There was something in his voice. It made me anxious.

"What's up, Billy?" I asked, gripping the receiver. Was Jake in trouble? Hurt?

"It's nothing like I know you're thinking Bella, so calm down," I took a breath. "I was just wondering if it would be ok if I didn't tell Jake you called today. I'd really like him to get some sleep when he makes it into the house-"

"I totally understand, Billy. I want him to get some rest as much as you do… After he wakes up, will you tell him to call me? I really miss him," I said, leaning back into the kitchen counter.

"Will do, kiddo. Go out and have some fun. Staying cooped up in the house all day is bad for the bones," he said. I heard him chuckle. "I should know." I laughed and then nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

"I will, Billy. Take care of yourself," I said, and then hung up. I looked around the kitchen. No longer attending school and not having a job really wasn't good for me. Maybe I could find someone to hang out with from school?

Angela immediately popped into my head and I grinned. I already missed the quiet girl's bright smile and happy demeanor. Charlie had already left, so I'd leave him a note once I got Angela's confirmation. I lifted the phone and dialed her number. She answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" she sounded tired.

"Hey, Ang, it's Bella. Are you ok, you sound sleepy?" I asked, fiddling with my belt loop on my pants. Her voice immediately perked up.

"Oh, Bella! No, I'm fine, just a little shaken from all the online classes and lack of fresh air," she said. I grinned. I could take a hint.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today?" I asked, glancing out the window to see what the weather was like. Ick. Wet and overcast. We'd figure something out.

"I've got some things to get done, homework wise. But I'll be free after five or so? Do you want to drive over here then? I'll try and think of something we can do together," she said. I couldn't help but feel excited. She was just too giddy for me to control it.

"That sounds awesome. I'll be there by five, ok?" She agreed and we hung up. I glanced at the clock. Really? It was only eleven? I let out a breath and went to the living room. I took up residence in my dad's chair for the next three hours. When I felt like my eyeballs were going to fall out of my head, I went upstairs to clean my room. And the bathroom. The hallway. I organized, straightened, laid out on my floor.

Befittingly, "Lonely Day" by System of a Down came on my radio. I felt my skin crawling. Finally, I glanced at the clock again. I survived!

Cool, I still had about a half hour to get ready and then drive over. I wanted to give Angela enough time to get herself together too. Like Billy said, staying in the house all day wasn't good for anyone. I don't know how I'd been doing it lately.

Before I knew it, I was parked in front of Angela's house. I was about to honk but then I saw her front door open. Her back was turned to me, she paused in the doorway. I tilted my head, watching her. She was there a minute, talking to someone, I'm sure. Then she turned and shut the door behind her, running out to my truck.

"Sorry. Overbearing mother alert," she said, throwing her purse into the truck before climbing in. She buckled her seatbelt and I laughed before throwing the truck into drive and making a u-turn.

"So, did you think of anything to do?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road and driving slow. I didn't know where we were going yet.

"I know the guys were talking about heading to the park earlier. You know, Mike, Eric and Ben? But with the weather, I don't know what their plans are. Let me give them a call," she said, flipping open her cell phone. I little dagger of ice went through my chest. Edward had offered to get me a cell phone. It had caused me to get a little snippy. I didn't need him giving me gifts. Not to mention gifts that just helped him to keep track of me. I broke out of my flustered state as Angela talked to Mike about their plans.

"Well, apparently the crazies are still planning on the park. Do you want to meet them there?" she asked, looking at me. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. I tried to bite back the urge to say no. Hanging out with Newton didn't actually excite me.

"Jess and Lauren will be there too, I don't know if that makes a difference," she said. I smiled a little. It would be nice to see the whole gang again though. I nodded my agreement and she started giving me directions.

"Hey, can you call my dad and let him know where we'll be? I don't want him to worry," I said. Being the nice person she was, there was no problem. She hung up the phone by the time we arrived at the park.

"We're here a little early," she said, peering out the windows to observe the empty park. She turned to me as I parked the monster, unhooking her seatbelt.

"So, what have you been up to? Edward?" she asked. I gave a little face and she laughed before she continued. "Jacob?" I felt my heart soften and I peered intently into my steering wheel. I found an interesting tear on it and started to pick. The thought of him made me want to giggle and apparently it showed.

"What happened between you two?!" she asked, her fingertips brushing my shoulder to get my attention. I couldn't help but blush.

"Those would actually be private encounters I can't discuss…" I said. I saw her mouth turn into a very large, very happy O. My heart raced as I thought of Jacob. God, I wanted to see that boy again.

"But what about Edward?" she asked. I felt his name fall over my mood like a wet blanket. He dampened my sun, my air, my heart. I don't even know when I'd started developing such an undying irritability with him. I sighed, unhooking my seatbelt and turning to face her.

"I haven't told Edward about Jake yet… I haven't had the heart to break it off. I can't leave him how he left me," I said, willing her to see how I felt with my eyes. She appeared to already understand. She rested her hand on mine.

"Bella, it's only going to get harder… You know that, don't you?" she asked. I did know that. Every time I saw Jake, every time I realized how much I liked him… It made me realize Edward still had those feelings for me, or so it seemed. I looked at her, lost.

"I just don't know how to do it… This is all a lot more complicated than it seems," I said. She nodded.

"I know I'm not getting the whole story, but I don't want to press you. I'm going to help you through this as well as I can, though," she said. I smiled at her. She was already making me feel better. I squeezed her hand as a thank you.

"I just keep trying to figure out if there's any way to fix what I have with Edward… It's been four days since I've seen Jake," I said. She smiled, I'm sure because I looked like a love sick puppy. "I know, since that night, there is no going back to Edward. Now I just don't know how to tell him." I glanced around the truck but still, no one was there.

"Well… Give it another day or two. I know it's already been a while, but it might hit you one day," she tittered. I smiled. I liked her thought. That's me. Enjoy putting things off. I agreed with her out loud. Right before there was a large bang on Angela's door and a loud yell. We both screamed and jumped out of our seats.

Angela opened her door and tumbled out, chasing after Mike Newton and shaking her fist. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

"Hey, Bella!" Eric called, waving from the car he was stepping out of. Apparently he had driven. I couldn't help the very large smile erupting over my face. I waved at him, also trying to catch Ben's attention. His eyes were only for Angela. I understood how he felt. It's not like Angela and he had ever had problems. School just always came first with her.

I saw Angela finally give up, refusing to chase Mike around and around a large oak tree any longer. She stood her ground and stared him down. I made my way to Ben and Eric.

"Haven't seen you in a while, lady. Where've you been?" Eric asked, showing me a bright line of teeth. He threw his arm over my shoulder and I smiled, leaning into him a little.

"Not much. No job, no school. Kind of boring, actually," I said, watching as Angela approached us. She smiled at us and then looked at Ben, giving him one of those hopeful glances that said Please, can we make this a pleasant experience?

"Jess and Lauren are on their way," Mike said, glancing up from his phone. His fingers flew across the keyboard, and I guessed they were texting. He slipped the phone shut. "Be here in five minutes." His eyes were glued on me then. Eric pulled his arm away and led the way over to the large oak Ang and Mike had been running around. Ben unfolded an abnormally large blanket and Eric helped him pull the end down.

At least it had stopped raining. Angela came over to me and smiled. I hadn't realized I had already isolated myself from the group. The rest of them took a seat on the edges of the blanket.

"So, let's not even think a thought about Edward anymore, ok?" I asked. She nodded her head and I glanced at the blanket again.

"Ben looks sad," I said, quietly. I glanced at my shoes, wondering if there was anything I could do for my friend, when she was doing so much for me. I glanced up and she was looking at him, wistfully.

"It just makes sense to me that I should focus on school right now. He's in school too, but he's ok with floating by with B's and C's," she said, just as softly. I felt like we were telling dirty secrets. He glanced up at us and I offered a weak smile.

"If it's what you think is best," I said, turning to smile at her. She smiled again and nodded. I could already spot Jessica's little car speeding towards the park. She made a flashy stop in a parking space and both she and Lauren stepped out of the car. Angela tugged on my hand and indicated we should sit together comfortably before they came and there was no room left.

I agreed.

Sadly, the place left open for me was next to Mike. I let out a little breath. As much as I wanted to be civil, I didn't want to sit next to a guy who would surely have me pulling my hair out. Angela patted the spot next to her. I finally bit the bullet and sat. Lauren and Jess joined us and I immediately felt the tension seep over us all.

Jess looked uncomfortable, but Lauren looked downright irritated with my presence. I tried to remember what in the world I had ever done to deserve her animosity. I pinned it to the fact that ever since I'd gotten here, all of the guys wanted to invite me everywhere. I think she had been quite glad last year, when Edward had left. I averted my eyes and turned towards Angela, who was already in deep conversation with Eric about the reservation. It grabbed my attention and held it.

Apparently, I had once again gotten Mike's attention. I wished he would just focus on Jessica.

"So, Bella, how's Edward?" Lauren asked, after an hour or so. It was the first time she had addressed me.. By the sound in her voice, it seemed she thought things weren't well. Huh. I'd never have pegged her as the kind with great intuition. And here I had thought I was going to get away without having to talk to her at all.

"He's fine. He's been busy with his family a lot. We go out on camping trips all the time," I said, knowing Angela understood and backed up my reason for lying 100 percent.

"Really? Because I think I saw him a few days ago? In Port Angeles. Why was he there?" she asked, picking at a strand of her hair. Edward had been in Port Angeles? Was she just trying to pull my leg, to see if I would fall into her trap? I glanced around at the group. Jessica's head was down, as if she wanted no part of this. Mike was looking at me, almost too curious about my answer. Lauren was wearing a nasty grin. I cleared my throat.

"I was actually out, buying her something for our anniversary," Edward's voice drifted over the group, from behind me. I whipped around and stared at him, as did the rest of the group. I'm sure my mouth dropped to the ground, along with everyone else's. I couldn't believe how much relief flooded through me in that moment. I made a quick glance at Angela.

"Remember what I said before? Don't even think about him," I said softly, though I knew Edward would be able to hear. I'd make some excuse later. Angela nodded at me. I could already feel her shift her thoughts, and relief pressed even further through me. I scampered to my feet and went over to Edward. I saw him glancing around at the group, but paying particular attention to Angela. I flame of anger slipped through me, but it died. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pecked my cheek, probably just for show in front of the group.

"If you all don't mind, I'd like to borrow my girlfriend for the rest of the night," he said, looking to the group again. His gaze lingered on Mike, who looked irritated. I let out a deep breath.

"How'd you know Bella was here?" Angela asked, as he was beginning to turn away. I could feel her irritation flood outward. It was strange. I'd never seen her irritated before. Edward focused on her again, and I wished she hadn't drawn attention to herself. She didn't know Edward could read her mind. He was trying to read her now.

"I called her dad. He told me you guys had taken a trip here," he said. I would have positively fumed. By 'called,' he meant he read Charlie's mind from outside our house. I'm sure my cheeks were a dark pink by now.

"I'll see you guys later," I mumbled, softly. I turned out of Edward's hold and started to walk away. I spotted his car and walked over to it, opening the door and getting in. I slammed it shut.

"What's with you?" he asked, closing his own door. He started the car and I felt heat pouring off me.

"You were reading their minds. You don't even try to stop it! And you read Charlie's mind too, didn't you?!" I cried, looking at him. He pretended to be focusing on the rear view mirror as he pulled out of the park. I pulled my knees up to my chest as he drove, feeling all of my pent up anger working its way through my blood stream. I imagined this is how Jake felt before he shredded his clothes and became a wolf. I wish I had the ability, with how much I hated the vampire next to me right now.

"I don't want to argue with you, Bella. I came to your house and you weren't there. Charlie got the phone call, just as I was about to start searching for you," he said. I could hear his teeth gritting together. Please, I want to fight. Just fight me. Then I can end this I begged in my head. It would all just be so much easier if he'd get angry at me.

Instead, I steamed in silence as he drove me home. After a few minutes, I realized I wasn't being driven home.

"Where are we going?" I asked, glancing around us and putting my feet on the floor. He was already pulling off to the side of the road. There was a path I could barely make out through the dark, through the forest. I swallowed and looked back at him.

"I think we just need some time out of your house," he said, quietly. The next second his door was shutting behind him and he was opening mine. I huffed and then pushed myself out of the car. I went to slam the door but he caught it and made sure it shut gently. I stomped towards the path. Turns out, it's harder to stomp through the forest, with tree limbs sticking out of the ground, and rubble everywhere.

Slowly, my anger started to dissipate, as I was finding less and less ways to show my frustration. I was leading, and I didn't even know where I was going. We came to a fork in the road and I started one way. He grabbed my arm and turned me around. I looked at him, still feeling a little tension. He slipped my arm over his shoulder as he turned his back to me and then reached for my other one. I wrapped both my arms securely around his neck and shut my eyes. He catapulted up the tree that had made the fork in the road.

A/N : Please play Breaking Inside, by Shinedown. It's what I did while writing this next little section.

I felt the air rush by my ears, the only thing I could really bring myself to focus on. Several seconds later, he was helping secure me to the tree without help from his body. We were at the top and I could see all around the forest. There was a road, far off in the distance. Headlights created a continuous line in the ever darkening evening sky. He took his seat beside me as I swung my legs.

"I figured you could use some more time out of the house," he said, sweeping my hair off my shoulder and pushing it to the opposite shoulder. I let out a breath. Even without being able to read my mind, he could read my mind. So why couldn't he just help me out here.

I turned to look at him. I opened my mouth, ready to spit out the words that would tear us both apart. He looked like he knew what was coming. A look of apprehension glossed over him and he lowered his gaze to the space between us.

I fucking chickened out. Again. Again and again and again. God, why was this so difficult? Why was I being so stupid? I let out a breath and turned my head away, glancing out over the tree tops again. I was breaking inside, every time I did this.

"It's beautiful up here," I said. I swung my feet again. He seemed to relax and I felt him nod beside me. It was quiet for a moment and then he spoke. At first, I didn't know he was actually speaking, he was talking so quietly. But then the words began to roll over me.

"… and I don't know what you want any more. But I want to turn you, Bella. I want to make you a part of my family," he finished. I felt his gaze resting on me and I ran a hand through my hair, turning my head completely away from him. Why was he doing this to me? I let out a deep breath, feeling all the tension creeping back into the places I didn't want them to be.

"Edward, I just can't right now. I'm still trying to work things out with Jake, and I don't want to add that to the plate. Can't you give me some time? You never wanted me to become like you in the first place," I said, looking back at him. His turn to look away now.

"I thought you'd had enough time to think about it. Bella, you wanted this so badly. What changed?" he said. He almost growled. He was irritated. Frustrated. I was catching on to it.

"What changed with you?! Why can't I just have all the time you used to want me to have?!" I asked. He ran his hands through his hair and I gritted my teeth. I wanted to go home now. I said so. He nodded and got to his feet swiftly. He literally yanked me to my feet on the tree and I clung to him as he descended the tree. The moment we hit the ground, I didn't even bother trying to catch my balance. Apparently anger supported me. I pulled my arms from him and started leading the way again.

"God damn it, Bella," he growled. He grabbed my wrist and I yanked on it, trying to pull away from him. He wouldn't release me. When I realized he wouldn't stop, I turned to face him. "Look what Jacob Black is doing to us!" he yelled. Instead of responding, I began to yank on my wrist again. His grip tightened and I gasped out, using my other hand to try and pry his off me.

"Edward, you're hurting me!" I yelled, trying to get his attention. I looked straight up into his eyes and he finally came to his senses. He let my wrist go and I cradled it to my chest, massaging it with my other hand. I looked down at the ground, unable to make eye contact with him. I felt him searching for words, like he was trying to pull them out of the air around us. When I realized there was nothing he could say to make this better, I turned and started along the path again.

Fifteen minutes later, he was pulling up in front of my house. I opened the door before he even stopped the car and slammed the door shut behind me, running up to my doorstep. I didn't even glance back to see he had already pulled away. I shut the front door and leaned against it, glancing up at the ceiling.

He didn't know he was hitting so close to home… Look what Jacob Black is doing to us! I tried not to start crying right there. Everything was falling apart in my hands. This wasn't the way I wanted it to go…

No, Edward… Look at what Jacob Black is doing to me… I glanced down at my wrist and found a soft bruise forming around it. My back straightened against the door.

There is no us anymore.

A/N : Ok, so I'm sure you Edward haters out there have realized by now that I'm really trying drag out their relationship. I'm trying to work Edward into this great, scary, mean guy. SM just portrays him too nicely most of the time, I think it's taken this long just to make Edward break. If I felt comfortable, I would have had him break a lot sooner, I would have had Bella break up with him a lot quicker, but that's just not the way their infatuation with each other works. So Edward is slowly losing it. How much longer can he hold on?

And let me just say now…. OH MY JESUS!!!! I just finished the next chapter and I swear to God, it's the most nerve wracking I've written yet. I almost started crying. ARE YOU READY?! Gimme eight reviews!!!!