Chapter 18!
So this chapter runs deeper into Sam's past. the next will make quite a bit clearer. so keep on reading!
Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me!
RB TONIGHT! YAY
Enjoy!
"Go ahead," he told me.
I looked at him again and then turned the door knob and walked into the room.
And there on the single bed in the room was Andy.
I walked up to the head of the bed and looked down at her face.
She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping.
After a seconds' hesitation, I leaned over and rested my forehead on hers, and my eyes closed.
"Oh Andy," I whispered. "Come back soon."
I don't know if I expected her to react to what I said.
I guess part of me wished that she did. Even if that reaction was disgust or embarrassment or whatever. I just couldn't stand to see her lying almost lifelessly on a hospital bed.
I waited like that for a moment, with our faces touching for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually, I realized that she wasn't reacting to it at all. In fact, she looked just like she did when I first walked into the room.
With a sigh that made her hair flutter, I straightened up and winced at the shooting pain in my lower back.
God, what was I, 50?
I cursed softly and took a step in the direction of a chair once I was sure that I wouldn't double over in pain.
Thankfully, it subsided quickly.
I looked down at the three chairs that were placed in the room for visitors.
They were made of wood and had an uncomfortable looking navy blue cushion seat.
I grimaced slightly at the fact that it would be uncomfortable for long periods of time, which is what I intended to do of course.
Suck it up for Andy, I thought and pulled one of the chairs to the head of Andy's bed.
As I lowered myself into the chair, I realized that sadly, I was right about it. They were incredibly uncomfortable.
I wondered why hospitals would do something like that.
Not only will the visitor be upset about their loved ones, but they would also have to endure the torture of a hospital chair.
Oh wow, I thought suddenly. I was stressing out over the ethics of a hospital chair. There really was no saving me.
I looked over at Andy again on the bed, and thought again about how much she looked like she was just asleep.
I mean if you over looked the heart monitor, and all the various tubes around her, she looked to be sleeping like any other normal person.
But she's not, the stubborn voice in my head failed to let me forget.
I sighed again and tipped my head back to stare at the creamy white ceiling.
How could things have gotten so bad so quickly?
I mean, it feels like just a little while ago that Andy and I were in the cruiser and I was wondering what she saw when she stared at me.
I had no doubt now that she was probably thinking about what a jerk I was being for not considering her concerns about the case.
Maybe if I had listened to her when she told me that something hadn't felt right. Maybe if I hadn't gotten so careless about Daffanzo. Maybe if I hadn't underestimated that bodyguard.
Maybe if I had kept a better eye on her, none of this would have happened. None of this would have happened, and she would be alright.
I expelled a whoosh of air angrily.
No matter how much everyone tried to tell me that it wasn't my fault, I knew that they were lying.
You didn't get to be a cop without being able to catch someone who is lying. And I was an exceptional cop... or so I thought.
It was true, accidents do happen, but this wasn't an accident. It was my fault, and I knew it. I didn't need anyone else to confirm it for me even though I realized that Nash would.
If only I had listened to Boyko and Jerry and Oliver. If only I had just stepped away from this case and just let Williams or Oliver take it.
But no. I couldn't do that now could I? I thought bitterly.
I needed to be the biggest and best cop around. I needed to prove to everyone else that I could do it even though I knew deep down that I couldn't.
My fucking ego was way too big for me to admit it, even to myself. And now my rookie pays the price, I pay the price.
What pissed me off royally was the fact that my friends could tell that I couldn't do it, and I couldn't see it for myself.
"Fuck!" I cursed aloud and ran a hand through my hair.
If only it wasn't so much like last time.
I leaned forward to balance my elbows on my knees and I dropped my face into my hands.
I could imagine with almost uncanny precision the last time I was in a hospital room. I could remember perfectly the person lying in the hospital bed.
I could remember the way her long brown hair was always so shiny, and how it always smelled like strawberries.
I could remember her big beautiful warm brown eyes that always looked up at me with a mischievous twinkle.
I could remember her full lips, always quick to turn up into a grin, and were always so soft against mine.
I sighed and massaged my temples in the efforts to ease the oncoming headache.
I couldn't stop the onslaught of memories that were suddenly being thrust into my head.
Me and her lying on the couch on Saturday afternoons watching movies with homemade popcorn.
Her dragging me out into a rainstorm to stand under the pelting of the raindrops.
Me waking up to her beautiful face. Kissing her right when she woke up.
Her calling my name like an excited child at a carnival at the most trivial things. "Sam! Sam! Did you see that bird? Oh my gosh it was beautiful!"
The look on her face when I'd come home and kiss her softly and whisper her name. "Camille."
I pushed my thumbs onto my closed eyes to try to get rid of the pounding in my head.
Why did you have to die Cam?
Heyy everybodyy!
i hope you liked that chapter! i decided to make it so that you get the gist of what happened to her, and how it was like what happened to Andy vagely.
you will find out that they are more related than you may think.
i also decided to give you guys a glimps at what they had together. and to give you some insite as to why Sam is now afraid of true commitment.
the next chapter holds quite a few flashbacks for ya'll so i hope you'll like it!
xoxo thedarkangel22