A/N : You guys are awesome. I'm sorry about not posting earlier, Jacqui! I had to wait for at least one more review after you! Please, don't hurt yourself too much waiting for my chapters! I try to make sure everyone agrees with my writing!

With no further ado… Enjoy.

Chapter 16 - Insanity

Edward's POV

I was sitting up in my room, trying to preoccupy my time. It was somewhere around nine in the evening, not that time really mattered to a vampire. I rotated a glass of alcohol in my hand. Whiskey, on the rocks. It was the only thing that would keep me from jumping out of my skin and spending every damn second of the day with Bella.

I was losing her, and I knew it. In turn, I was losing myself. I could feel it. My family could feel it. I could hear their thoughts, their emotions ran through me. Sympathy, irritation, fear. Everything seemed to be combined now. I leaned back in my chair, trying to let the internet hold my attention. It did no such thing.

I was an idiot. For ever falling in love with Isabella Swan. More so, I was an idiot for ever leaving her. Then, continuously being an idiot, I let her run back to that preposterous mutt. I had never thought it would come this far. He was apparently swaying her decision. Alice had come to me several times, telling me she couldn't see Bella anymore. I would prepare to run to her house, and then she would grab me, telling me she saw her again. Her future was so uncertain.

He had too much control over her.

I took another long swig of the alcohol, tilting my head back a little to empty the glass. I put the glass down and then reached for the bottle, filling it up again.

Never in my life did I imagine a werewolf could befriend the lover of a vampire. And now, he was keeping my Bella from her decision to join me in eternal life. I drank again, nearly clearing the glass of all liquid. I slammed it down onto the desk.

A sound, sort of like a pin dropping to the ground for humans, hit me straight in the face. A pin hitting the ground for me was like someone kicking a door down. I jumped out of my seat and ran down the stairs, spotting Alice outside of the laundry room, a tumbled over basket at her feet. My whole family was congregating. Apparently they had also heard the basket fall.

Jasper was at Alice's side, his hand on her shoulder. Esme and Carlisle glanced at me. I wanted to run at Alice and shake her, mercilessly. What did she see?!

"Edward- Edward, I can't see her. Bella's gone," she whispered. I stood there for a moment, refusing to move. I waited for her to start laughing, to say never mind, she saw her again. We all waited. No one breathed. Finally, after what must have been two minutes, she let out a deep breath and slumped against Jasper.

"She's gone," Alice said, her eyes glancing up to catch mine. For once, I didn't hear anyone's thoughts. My head felt hollow, empty. There were no voices, no sounds. Alice's eyes were wide, honey brown saucers and they looked me over like I was condemned.

"No," I said, finally. I was shaking my head, my eyes were shut. I backed away from my family as I sensed someone step towards me, their hand reaching out for me. I backed up against a wall and my eyes flew open, glancing around.

"I can still reach her. I'll go talk to her now," I said, turning and running.

"Edward, don't!" I heard Carlisle yell, but it was too late. I was already out the door and in my car. Again, Rose was keeping me. The garage door was open but she grabbed onto the door handle and yanked the door open.

"Edward, don't do this. You're going to scare Bella away, you're acting crazy," she said. I didn't look at her, I couldn't. I yanked the door shut again, almost catching her in the process. Emmett appeared at her side, pulling her away.

"Let him go, Rose. Just let him do this his own way," he said. I slammed on the gas as I backed out, swinging the car around. I felt like I had six months worth of adrenaline pumped into my system. I couldn't drive fast enough, even around the twists and turns of the deserted Forks roads.

I parked down the street from Bella's house and ran the rest of the way. I jumped the tree, opened her window and climbed in. Nothing, no one. She wasn't there. I paced her room and tried to calm myself enough to search Charlie's brain for answers. It did no good, as he wasn't home. He must be out, working. I opened her bedroom door and checked the bathroom, just in case. I ran my hands through my hair, feeling an undeniable rage coursing through me, like blood.

I went back to her room and leaned against the wall where her window was. I brought my hand up to brace myself, feeling a bare emotion seep into my bones. I rested my forehead against my hand, knowing I'd have to wait. She would come back, wherever she was. Was she out with Angela again?

The thought of the young, sweet girl made my stomach churn. She had been hiding something for Bella. I couldn't get it out of my mind. When I had found Bella yesterday, I had immediately started searching Angela's head, but she seemed completely focused on how much she wanted to be back with Ben. There was nothing new there. But thoughts of me flew through her mind at quick intervals. Bella had stormed off then and I couldn't catch anything else.

My feet were lifting, pressing down, lifting, moving, stretching. I couldn't stand still. I glanced at the time and saw it was already past ten. It was past ten and she wasn't home. It wasn't like her. Had something happened? Could Alice not see her because she was dead?

The thought made me roar out in anger. I almost put a hole through her wall. No, that couldn't be the case. My poor, sweet Bella couldn't be dead-

Headlights pulled up into the driveway and I glanced out her window, watching her truck come to a stop. I heaved out a deep breath and felt the anger and rage spur inside me again. At least this was better than fear. I was on the brink of insanity. I stepped away from her window and faced her door, waiting for her to come up.

Bella's POV

I pushed my truck faster than I ever had. Jake's voice was screaming in my head. I couldn't get the fear in his voice out of my mind. I couldn't keep my heart from breaking. But if I had stayed, I never would have been able to face Edward. I never would have been able to go to him and tell him it was over.

I was ready now. After confessing my love for Jake, there was no way I could spend another moment in Edward's arms. The look that had come across Jacob's face had scared me. I almost thought he didn't really want to be with me. But the next moment, I was thinking about Edward and running from Jake.

I ran from Jake. I think my soul stayed with him, because I felt nothing but empty as I was driving back to my house. I pulled up into the driveway and glanced around, looking to see if Edward's car was around. When I had confirmed it wasn't, I jumped out of my truck and ran into my house. Charlie wasn't home. I had forgotten he had to work tonight. I closed the door behind me.

Like in horror movies, as soon as I heard the door click shut, an eerie feeling swept over my skin. I held my breath for a moment, listening for any sign of movement. I took a step into the room and then thought better of it. I whipped around and ran to the door. I would not play victim.

"Where are you going, Bella?" Edward's voice asked, cold as ice. He was right behind me. My hand immediately fell off the door handle. I felt fear press its way through each of my limbs, freezing me to the spot. His hand was on my shoulder, turning me to face him. His face was so close to mine. I'd never been so scared in my life. He pressed me up against the door. He took in a breath and I could swear I heard him laugh in the back of his throat.

"God, you reek, just like him," he spat. As he spoke, I could smell alcohol on his breath. It nearly gagged me. I tried to get away from him but his hand was on my shoulder the next moment, pinning me to the door. Suddenly, the only thing I could think was Jake was right. I should have just stayed. I just should have just stayed.

"Edward, please-"

"What's gotten into you, Isabella? How the fuck did that fleabag get into your head?" he asked. His hand was squeezing my shoulder harder now. I bit down my cry for help. I don't even think he noticed what he was doing. I closed my eyes against his yell.

"Well?! Why are you here so late?" he asked and I coward against the door, trying to shrink away from him.

"I was at Jake's, I lost track of the time, I'm sorry!" I yelled. I tried to pull away but he threw me back up against the door again.

"What- how do you lose track of time? Honestly, you didn't realize it was dark? You didn't even tell me you were going to see him," he said, in a rage. I felt my shoulder blade raging against the door and cried out a little, grabbing his arms to try to pull myself away from it. His eyes were wild, pitch black. The look on his face was terrifying.

"Edward, I want to be with Jacob!" I cried out. The words just fell from my mouth, without any thought. All the pressure he had against me suddenly released. I collapsed to the floor, my hands thrown out before me to catch myself. I glanced at him and saw his back. He was completely still, not moving. Not even seeming to breathe. I had finally started the conversation… Now I needed to finish it. I don't know what made me go on.

"Before I went to Italy to save you, Jacob kissed me. No. Jacob and I kissed. We kissed, and ever since then, things have started changing. I know you've felt it, but I was just too much of a coward to tell you it was over. A week ago, Jacob came to me, that night you left to feed. He helped me realize I need to be with him. Today, I finally got the strength to tell you," I said. I had started out brave enough, my words coming out clearly. By the end of it, I was whispering. He still wasn't facing me. He wasn't moving at all. The eerily quiet room made me want to jump out of my skin.

"Edward, please, say something-" I began, but he whipped around to face me. The look he gave me had me shrinking against the door again. His eyes were utterly furious, but there was more fear than anything. His gaze bore down on me for over a minute before he turned and shoved his hand through a window. I cried out and jumped to my feet, running over to him. My hand was on his shoulder but then he faced me again. He began to stalk me backwards. I felt like his prey. I didn't know if I would make it through this.

His eyes never left mine and I finally felt myself hit the wall behind me. I tried to blend in with it. Tried to become a part of it. His hand was coming up to my cheek the next moment and I froze, wide eyes looking up at him.

"Did you fuck him, Bella?" he asked. His voice was venomous. I felt my heart beat out of my chest.

"No!" I yelled, undignified. No, I hadn't. Jacob going down on me did not qualify at all in the category of sleeping with a man.

"Bella, you can't leave me…" he whispered, his voice becoming softer. I felt my heart break into all those little pieces he had shattered when he had left. I couldn't leave him, but he could leave me. My brain seemed to scream he was such a hypocritical jerk.

Then his lips were on mine. His cool hand slipped into my hair in the back and brought me closer to him. I couldn't break away from him. I was too afraid he would lose control and do something ridiculously stupid. Like drink from me.

My heart jumped in my throat at the thought. I could NEVER let him do that. If he ever bit me, drank from me… If he ever turned me… The thought of what Jacob would do, how he would feel… It crushed me. I confused passion for Jacob with passion for Edward as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. I couldn't let him know that the second I got the chance, I would leave Edward and never come back to him. He moaned against my lips and broke away, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Please, Bella… I can't live without you. I need you to stay with me. I'll even let you be with that demon dog, if you really need to be. I can't lose you," he said, his voice catching in his throat. I think I swallowed my tongue. He was offering to let me be with both him and Jacob. To literally, BE with them both. The thought made me sick.

Before I had fallen for Jacob completely, I might have given it a second thought. But now, there was nothing about Edward that I liked. The fear he made me feel, the anxiety when I was around him, his inability to make me feel how Jacob made me feel… I couldn't be with him at all.

I nodded my head and his lips fell on mine again. No matter that I wouldn't be with him, I couldn't piss him off now. He was teetering on the edge of insanity. I felt my life hanging in the balance, on that extremely thin, almost nonexistent line. If it snapped, I would fall into misery and despair. Death. His lips were fluttering over mine as he spoke.

"You'll see, Bella… You'll understand what Jacob is like after a while, and you'll come back to me completely. You'll want me back, and I can't live without you," he said softly. I don't even think he meant to speak the words out loud, he was so mentally unstable. I felt bile rising in the back of my throat and wanted to gag. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. A chill ran down my spine.

Whether it was because of how cold he was, or how sick I felt, I didn't know.

I just wanted Jacob back…

A/N : Alright, guys. Hopefully you can reach this next goal I'm setting. I need 8 reviews to post the next chapter. I'm HOPING I can post it tonight, so I can post another one tomorrow morning. If I don't post a new one by eleven tomorrow morning, Cali time, I can't post until 4/18/10, around noon. I'll be out of town with no computer. I'm really really sorry!!! Just be glad I've been posting all day yesterday and today! It's taken a lot out of me!

So get me to another chapter tonight, ok? 8 Reviews plez!

Oh, btw, the next chapter has a confrontation between Jake and Ed. Just a little hint!