Chapter 23!

ok so yesterdays RB epi? made me want to BAWL! :( i cant believe that Luke and Andy are back together -_- my only condolence is that Andy will end up with Sam eventually.

here's the e-mail i sent my friend literally two minutes after the epi finished:

:'(
i can NOT believe dat Andy nd Luke are back 2gether
lik in de forest wen he was cleanin up her leg nd shit i was lik awwwwwwwwwwwwwwn! :D
nd then he was lik how Luke is a gud guy nd i was lik um... :S
nd then Sam tells Luke hes bein an idiot thinkin dat him nd Andy r mor den friends nd i was lik uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg! :|
nd then wen Andy was talking 2 Luke nd Luke was talkin bak i was lik ohhhhhhhhhhh! :(
nd then wen they kissed i was lik NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :'(
tear tear.
im gunna go mope or smthing -_-
the only thing makin me feel bettr is the fact dat i no dat Sam nd Andy will end up 2gether -_-
*sigh*
nite nite :P

Excuse my short-hand in this e-mail. lol :)

anyways Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.

Enjoy!

"This whole Andy dating your half brother thing is messing you up more than you're letting on isn't it?" he asked.

I let go of Andy's hand and turned my body to face him.

I took a deep breath and looked Jerry in the eye.

"I don't even know how to begin to explain how messed up I`m feeling about the fact that the only girl I've felt anything for since Camille, is dating my half brother."

I sighed and tipped my head to look up the ceiling.

"Sam," Jerry began gently. "Maybe it would be best if you were to just, I don't know forget about her."

At his words, I snapped my head forward to glare at him.

"Do you think that it is that easy Jerry? Don't you think that if I could do that, that I would have ages ago?" I snapped, frustrated.

Jerry looked at me silently before he sighed. He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees.

"Look, I realise that you don't really get to pick and choose who you fall in lo—um... I mean develop feelings for," he said and I had to smile at the fact that he corrected himself before saying 'who you fall in love with.'

"But maybe you should try to I don't know, get over her?"

Before I could argue he continued.

"Maybe you should call up one of your old high school flings and have some fun?"

The small smile fell off my face before it had a chance to grow.

"You want me to go out and have sex with old girlfriends in the hopes of trying to get over Andy? Are you completely insane?" I growled at him.

Jerry held out his hands as a sign of peace.

"Hey, I didn't mean sleep with them... but then again, whatever it takes..." he said sheepishly, and at that moment I could have smacked him upside the head.

He must have noticed the murderous look on my face because he immediately retaliated.

"Or," he said quickly. "Just go out on a date Sam. A casual drink or something. Anything to take your mind off of this."

After glaring at him for another second I sighed.

I knew that he was only trying to look out for me, and trying to make me feel better about this situation.

He tried the same thing with Camille. In fact, without him, I probably wouldn't have made it through that, and I would have gone through with my initial idea to resign from the force.

"I don't know, Jer," I said then leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands.

"I really don't know if that will actually make any difference. I would probably just think about Andy the whole time, and my 'date' doesn't deserve that."

"Since when did you get so considerate of your dates Swarek?" he asked and I looked up momentarily to see that he was grinning at me.

I returned it with a small grin of my own.

"Since I grew up, Barber." I returned.

"Oh, this infamous playboy has cleaned up his act," he joked. "What would all of your high school flings say about that?"

I took some actual time considering my answer.

"Well, I`m sure some of them would have wished that I would have gotten around to 'cleaning up my act' a few years earlier."

"And I'm sure that an equal number of them would be disappointed that you have become such a pussy," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"A pussy eh Barber? You shouldn't be talking, especially after Taylin. Remember her Jer?" I asked and struggled to conceal a laugh as he grimaced.

"Yea, I do. Though I wish I could forget."

"Not so hard to forget a girl once she get under your skin eh Jerry?" I asked quietly, looking down at my fingers.

I heard Jerry take a deep breath.

"I didn't say I would be hard, but you could do it if anyone could Sam."

"But what if I don't want to?" I asked, still staring at my hands.

"Are you saying that you don't want to?" he asked, his voice dropping to match the volume of my own.

I was silent for a long moment, thinking.

Do I want to?

I tried to find the answer that I thought was right. I tried to think past all the images of Andy and Callaghan in my head.

And that was it, I realized.

As much as I fantasized about Andy and me being together, those images were always going to be showed up by the ones of Andy and Callaghan being together.

And they were always going to be much more accurate than the ones of Andy with myself.

I exhaled angrily.

Why did I have to fall for someone who already had a boyfriend who she was happy with? Why do I have to be the one who always ended up hurt?

It wasn't fair to me, I thought angrily.

Why should I wait for Andy to break up with him to be with me when I was almost certain that it wasn't going to happen.

I thought about Jerry's question again.

"Are you saying that you don't want to?"

"No," I said, and looked up to meet Jerry's eyes again.

"I'm not saying that, in fact, I want to. " I said, and it was easier when I said it out loud.

"I`m sick of being second to Callaghan with Andy."

"Sam, I`m sure it's not like that," said Jerry, and it didn't matter because I was so sure that it was.

"Whatever," I said testily. "So who do you think I should call up? Adrianne? Brook Lynn? Or maybe Christy?"

"Definitely not Christy," Jerry said shuddering, and I let out a short laugh.

"Alright, no Christy. Who did you have in mind?"

"I don't know..." he said uncertainly, almost like he was second guessing his own plan. "Maybe Adrianne, or Riquette..."

He seemed to be thinking for a while before his face lit up.

"Hey, I have a great idea. Jennifer."

"Jennifer?" I asked trying to remember a Jennifer from high school. "When did I date a Jennifer?"

"She's not from high school Sam," he said with a grin and I was beginning to realize what he meant.

"I meant Nurse Jennifer. The one that has been trying to give you an um... subtle hint?" he said, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Yea, subtle my ass," I said and that seemed to do it for Jerry because he started to laugh.

"No wait," he said as he continued to laugh.

"Get this, if you were to take Nurse Jennifer out... on a date... oh my god... this is killing me..." at this point he was having a full blown laughing fit.

"I bet it is," I said dryly as a grin broke out on my face.

"Wait, so if you... take her out, right?... she would totally lay off... in public..." he managed, still laughing hysterically.

"Jer, I think you hysterical. I think I should slap you." I said then proceeded to get out of my chair.

Jerry leaned back against his seat, still laughing, with his hands up, palms facing me.

"Wait, wait," he said beginning to calm down as I took a step towards him. "I'm good, no slapping."

"Speak for yourself," I said, but I grinned as I sat down again, Jerry seemed to have calmed down.

"What I`m saying is that you take her out and she'll stop trying to jump your bones everywhere you go," he said.

"It'll be like hitting two birds with one stone."

"You see a man would have said 'it'll be like shooting two birds with one bullet' but then again..." I trailed off suggestively.

"Do you need proof of my manliness Swarek?" he asked with fake malice.

"You'd have to find it first," I said with a smirk.

"You want me to drop my pants right here and right now Swarek?" he asked standing up.

My grin widened.

"Wow Barber, what's up your ass?"

"Why don't you come over here and tell me?"

"Sorry, I`m straight,"

"As a circle."

"Wow, I walk in to hear this kind of talk? And with a lady present, I`m ashamed of you two."

We turned to see Oliver standing by the door.

After a moments silence we all cracked up.

"Oh god, good times good times. But anyways, Barber, Boyko wants you to call him."

"Yea, I`m on it," he said still laughing, before turning to me. "So you'll do it?"

"Gag me," I said sarcastically.

"What have I told you boys about that kind of talk?" Oliver asked playfully.

I grinned at him before looking at Jerry. "Yeah I'll think about it."

"Well good luck with that buddy boy," he said then walked out of the room.

I looked at Oliver to see that he had his eyebrow quirked in question.

I sighed.

"Sit down Oliver."

Hope you liked it!

xoxo thedarkangel22